I left the bathroom and basically slept through first period. Once gym started though I walked in and sat in my spot until Malisa came in. She didn't look at me, so I didn't know if she saw me staring at her.

 

We have the time.

Go and talk to her.

Ask her why she bullies Holly.

 

I got up and walked over to sit next to her, but she backed up a ton the moment she spotted me. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked.

"I wanna know why you've been bullying Holly."

"That's none of your business," she said as she scooted even further away.

"Actually it is. I don't know what she did to you or why you're messing with her, but I need to be on Holly's good side. And I don't think you're going to stop just because I told you to."

"Like I care what some freak needs."

"Hey, if I'm a freak then so are you, because I don't know if you've noticed, but we're actually a lot alike."

"I'm nothing like you so go sit back down. Just being near you is making me sick."

 

Ask why she keeps calling people freaks.

 

"So why do you keep calling people freaks?"

"Didn't you fucking hear me? I'm not talking to you," she said as she looked away.

"Well I'm talking to you. So is Holly the only one you go after?"

She said nothing.

"I used to only go after Robbie. Holly's friend."

I thought that'd get some reaction out of her, but she didn't care at all it looked like.

 

Or she already knows.

 

"You know, I almost got pepper sprayed trying to find out about you."

Now that got her attention.

"What are you talking about?" She asked as she finally looked my way.

"You do realize that Holly carries pepper spray, right?"

That blank face meant she did not in fact know.

"Since when?" she asked.

"I don't know, but she doesn't even want to use it for you. She got it in case I started going after her. Just think about that for a moment."

Her mouth opened slightly as she looked away again. "What the fuck did you do to him?"

"It'd probably be easier if I told you what I didn't do to him. Just take it from me. You don't want to push them past a certain point."

The class started to come out of the changing room. 

"We'll talk more later," I said as I went back to my seat.

 

How do you think that went?

 

Better than expected.

She at least talked to us.

We should be doing weight lifting today.

You're still too sore to lift, so tell the teacher and stay close to Malisa for now.

 

Sounds good.

 

Once we did our morning warm-up, I told my teacher I had an episode and she let me rest for the day as we headed upstairs to the weight room.

Rows of weight machines lined the room. We usually just rotated around on each machine for a set time, but today I waited until Malisa got settled in before I started hovering around her.

"Hey again," I said as I leaned against another machine.

"Why are you following me around so much?"

"I already said why. I still think you're gonna bully Holly."

She started lifting and ignored me, but she was struggling doing forty pounds. It was really fucking embarrassing to watch.

 

Yeah, no way is this girl any kind of threat to us.

 

A person doesn't need to be strong to be a threat.

 

I know, but just look at her. It's kinda sad. She's struggling even with that weight. How can anyone feel threatened by her? And this is me saying that of all people.

 

Some people aren't concerned with strength.

 

"How about I help you train?" I asked, "I'm pretty strong you know."

"No. How many times do I need to tell you to get away?"

"As many times as it takes until I'm positive you'll stop. You can start by telling me why you're bullying her in the first place."

"Because she's a fucking freak."

"You keep saying that but how is she a freak?" She didn't say anything. Again. "Can't you go after anyone else?"

And still she ignored me.

 

Ask her what's wrong with being a freak.

 

"What's wrong with being a freak anyway? Did she do anything to you or something?" She looked at me like I was an idiot. "I'm not gonna leave you alone until you tell me. Even if I have to walk you home.":

"Why the hell would you walk me home? " she asked.

"That's my way of saying I'm getting tired of you and I'm going to deal with you outside of school where people won't bother us."

"What the fuck are you implying?" She looked at me like she just thought of something disgusting. 

 

Where the hell is her mind going?

 

I don't know.

All you can do is keep pressing her.

 

"It means that I'm going to drag you down the sidewalk and do whatever I need to to get you to stop bullying Holly."

She practically jumped off of her machine and looked ready to fight me right there. "Don't lay a finger on me."

"All I want is to be able to say that I got you to stop bullying Holly. You can pick on anyone else, so what makes her so special?"

The call to move to the next machine came and she stepped around me.

"I'm not telling you."

I walked up to her. "Then we'll be spending time after school together."

"Will you stop that already?" she asked as she backed up and got onto the next machine, "It's fucking creepy."

"Creepy? How is that creepy?" I asked as I moved over next to her again.

"How is it not?"

I didn't know how to answer that.

 

Any clue on what she means?

 

Not at all.

Something's going on though.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about, but trust me that I can do a lot worse to you than you can to Holly. That pepper spray should tell you that much." She stopped talking, and now I was getting pissed again. "I can do everything I did to Robbie to you, so tell me already."

She stopped working and got up "Mrs. Addems, can I please go to the bathroom?"

"I need to go too," I chimed in and Malisa glared at me.

"Alright, but make it quick."

The two of us walked down to the girls changing room. "Leave. me. Alone."

She tried to walk away from me, but I grabbed her and pushed her up against the lockers. "How about if you don't tell me, then I'll send you home every day with a black eye until you do."

She tried to throw a punch at my face, but it was so slow I was able to grab her fist with my hand.

 

Fine. Fuck this.

 

I held up her hand and pulled down her sleeve. Immediately she grabbed my hand. "Stop! What the fuck are you doing!?"

Despite her trying to stop me, I saw exactly what we expected lined up down her arm as she tried to fight and struggle and even claw me. I held onto her and looked her right in the eye.

 

What the fuck is right.

What made you think that was a good-

 

I took a deep breath and lifted up my sleeve with my other hand.

She stopped struggling as Esmer and Malisa stared at my own marks.

"I knew something was going on. I was trying to be nice, but I already saw what happens when you bully someone too much. I'm not going to let you push Holly like I pushed Robbie." I let go of her wrist. "You don't need to tell me why you have those marks, but I think I know what you're going through."

That anger was still in her eyes.

"Don't act like you know me."

I let go of my sleeve.

"If it wasn't hard, then you wouldn't have those marks. But I seriously need you to stop bullying Holly. You don't even need her that much."

Her shoulders slowly slumped. "What kind of stuff did you do to Robbie anyway?"

"Uhh I'm not really comfortable saying that. It was a lot…"

"If you're going to pry into my stuff then I wanna know what you did."

 

That...was huge.

We need to talk about what you just did later tonight.

For now, we should tell her.

We need to find out why she's going after Holly.

Or at least get her to actually say she's stop going after her.

 

"Alright. I'll tell you, but I need to know you'll stop going after Holly. You can go after someone else."

"Fine. Whatever you want. Just tell me already."

"It's kinda really fucked, but I'd hold him down and make him say he was a useless mistake a lot of the time..."

"Holy shit..."

"Yeah, I know. It was messed up. But I'm not doing that kinda stuff anymore."

She looked at me for a moment before saying anything. "Alright. I'll leave Holly alone."

"And you're serious?"

"Yeah. I'm not having a freak try and hold me down," she said as she walked back out of the changing room.

I stood there and watched her leave.

 

I felt she was telling the truth.

 

I did too.

But there's already enough similarities.

Her being good at lying is something we have to watch out for.

 

I still wanna say I'd be able to figure her out if she was lying. 

Just be careful.

 

I will.

 

With that out of the way, things were looking up! But I still had the rest of the day to slog through. At least when lunch finally came around I could talk to his friends more.

I walked into the lunchroom, got my food and decided to pull the same stunt as before. Wait in my seat until everyone at Robbie's table sat down, and then I got up and walked over to them to sit in Robbie's chair again. 

This time Holly only backed up a little.

"I told you. You're not sitting here," the curly hair girl across from me said.

"And did Holly tell you what I just did for her today?"

She paused as they all looked at Holly, who really wasn't a fan of the attention.

"What did she do?" The guy next to Holly said.

She froze up and didn't say anything, so I stepped in.

"I threatened her bullies and got them to stop. She shouldn't have to deal with them anymore."

The mood of the entire table changed, and if I was going to be hopeful then I'd say that the tension died down just a little. It also looked like they didn't know what to say, which was good, because I also didn't know what to say.

 

Start eating.

 

I did as Esmer said and just started eating like I belonged there.

The guy next to Curly hair- Screw this.

"Can I finally get your names? I think I earned that much at least."

They looked at each other before the curly haired girl spoke. "I'm Vanessa, but don't think that this suddenly makes you a good person. It doesn't change anything about what you've been doing to Robbie, and we're not going to forget that. Go sit somewhere else.”

"I know it doesn't suddenly make me a good person, but I'm trying to make up for it. That's why I want to help you guys out. I'm sure that you guys could use someone like me."

"Even if we let you sit here, which we're not, then Sophie would rather get suspended again than let you sit with us and Robbie."

"You let me worry about Sophie. Can you guys just give me one day to show that I'm not here to cause trouble? If I do anything then you can kick me out."

"No." Vanessa said without even thinking about it.

"Hey guys, umm…" Holly whispered.

"What is it?" The guy next to her said.

"If she wants to sit here just for today, then can she? I know it doesn't make up for everything she did to Robbie. But she did really help today..."

Finally! Some sort of victory!

"See? Just for today. Then if you guys don't like it then I'll be gone."

Vanessa shifted in her seat and still clearly didn't want to let me stay here, but she looked around to the two other guys who just shrugged.

"Fine. For one day, but I don't see how that will change anything."

"That's fine."

 

Ask how Robbie's doing.

 

"So do you guys know how Robbie's doing?"

The table tensed up again, but Vanessa still answered. "He's doing fine."

"Good." I said as I sat there in my usual awkward around people way.

Ask what they planned to do for Robbie when he gets out.

We might be able to help.

 

"What about anything special planned for him when he gets out? Maybe I could help with that."

 

"We're not going to tell you what's going to happen," Vanessa said, "You could just be trying to get stuff you can use on Robbie."

 

If they won't tell you about Robbie, then ask what Sophie likes.

If she hates us, then we have no chance to make it up to Robbie.

Besides, you've done a lot to hurt her as well.

She must have been terrified when she heard her boyfriend going through that.

 

Fuck. You're right. This might be way harder than I actually thought. Is there really no other way?

 

If there is, then I don't know what it'd be.

 

"Well what about Sophie then? What does she like? I was hoping I could surprise her with a gift. You guys have to know that she wouldn't let me bully her."

I could one hundred percent bully her, but sometimes I just gotta stretch the truth a little.

"Ask her yourself," the guy next to Holly said.

"That'd ruin the surprise. Just anything would be fine."

"She likes music," Holly said in her usual whisper voice. The others looked at her like she wasn't supposed to say anything, but I was happy to see my efforts were paying off!

"Thank you. Any kind of music?"

"Anything."

"Alright, thanks."

Everyone just moved on and started eating after that, but there was still so much tension in the air. And it wasn't like I was good at talking to people. I was actually amazed that I made it this far in without stuttering.

 

Things are looking good and you're feeling confident.

It's a rare moment, but one that's helping you quite a bit right now.

 

Well I'm not complaining.

 

Even with that though, I quickly ran out of things to say. And I just ended up sitting here eating with them.

 

Maybe we should open up to them.

Right now they think we're just some emotionless brute.

Show them that's not who we are.

 

What would I even say though?

 

Maybe that we were in the same ward as Robbie?

That could pull at their hearts.

 

Fuck no. They don't get to know that.

 

Well then how about Robbie's chair?

You can come up with a couple impressive things to say about it.

 

And give myself another headache?

 

We worked this hard to get here.

A headache is a small price to pay.

 

She was right, even if I didn't want to think about it too much. "So did Robbie ever talk to you guys about his chair?" They didn't say anything, but Vanessa shook her head. "Well there was actually some impressive things about it. I don't know if you know this but I'm pretty damn awesome at woodworking, and he pulled off some stuff that even I couldn't figure out how he did."

"Cool," Vanessa said without even looking at me.

I stared at her and was about ready to throw my hands up.

"What do I need to do to get you guys to stop seeing me as the bad guy?"

"I'm only telling you this since you helped Holly," Vanessa said, "The only way you're ever going to get on any of our good sides is if Robbie and Sophie are okay with you. That's never gonna happen."

 

Fuuuck! Seriously? Even after all that? The entire reason I was trying to get on their good side is so that I could get on Robbie's good side. So what, this entire thing is pointless now?

 

Tell them that you're trying to get on their good side, but you need them to help us.

 

"I bet I can get on their good side, but I need your guys' help. We all care about Robbie, so for him. Not for me. Can you guys just give me one chance to help? I already showed I can with Holly. Besides, how happy would Robbie be knowing that he has someone as tough as me helping his friends?"

They stopped eating.

"We'll think about it," Vanessa said.

That was probably the best I was gonna get.

"Alright. Thanks."

After that we just sat around and ate. It seemed like it was super quiet though. That might have been because of me, or Sophie and Robbie weren't there, but probably both.

Lunch went on without another word until the end. Sure I could've done more, but I was already tired as hell. And I got them to at least think about my offer to help. That was good enough for me.

As I got up though a question popped into my head.

"Hey," I said towards Holly, "Before I go, do you know when Sophie is coming back?"

"Tomorrow," she said.

Wow. Put someone in a hospital and you only get a two day suspension? That was fucked, but at least it would be before Robbie got out.

"Thanks," I said before I headed off. I was gonna have to lock myself away and not talk to anyone for the rest of the day just to get back the energy that talk cost me.

When Shop class came around I sat in my corner and slouched down. Mr. Roland came in and when class started, he spoke up. "Okay Class. We're going to be starting our final project. For this one, we're going to be letting you choose what you make. Whatever you make, though, should be something complex enough to last you for a few weeks."

Anything we want? That was probably the only thing that could've perked me up, and it did a fantastic job of that.

 

What should we make?

 

You could try and make something from Rigby's

 

You're a genius, but what? I don't just wanna make another chair.

 

You could try to make something out of that black wood.

 

I could feel a 'ah ha!' look on her face. 

 

Let's make a gift for him.

Something special. 

 

Holy shit. You're a super genius! Okay so now we really need to find out what kind of stuff he likes.

 

We take the bus with Holly.

Ask her on our way home.

 

Alright. I can't do much today, so I'll just tell Mr. Roland.

 

I got up and walked up to his desk. "Hey. I'm gonna start tomorrow because I want to make something for Robbie. But I need to know what kind of stuff he's into first."

His smile said it all.

"That's fine. I know that whatever you make it'll be well done. Hope it goes well."

"Thanks," I said as I went back to my seat. There wasn't really anything I could do without knowing what I would be building, so I just sat around again. This time though I was actually looking forward to something.

Once the bell rang, I packed up my things and walked off to beat the rush of people out the door and onto the bus. 

It didn't take long for Holly to get on, but she avoided my look as she walked by. Once she sat down, I got up and followed her back to her seat again.

"Hey. I really need to know something."

She froze, but at least didn't threaten to pepper spray me again, so that was a good sign.

"What do you want now?" She asked quietly.

"Okay look, so we started our final project in shop today and we can do anything we want. Well I wanna make something special for Robbie. What kind of stuff is he into? Just anything that I can make with wood."

She took out her phone and started to type to someone. She just sat there staring at the screen as the bus pulled off.

Finally she put her phone away and leaned against the window.

"He likes growing plants."

"Really? Huh, I never pictured him with that stuff. Is he good at it?"

"I probably already said too much…"

"It's fine. I can work with that."

 

Shelves would be perfect for him.

 

I love it.

 

Ask about what she's into as well.

 

Why?

 

Because we might gain some actual friends in these people.

That would be healthy for us.

 

You're lucky that I trust you so much, or I'd never buy that friend crap. Fine. I'll try talking to her.

 

"So, what are you into?" 

"Nothing."

Esmer sat next to me on the isle side and laughed to herself.

 

That is very much a you kind of answer.

 

"Well do you do anything for fun?" I asked.

"No."

"So you just go home and sit around?"

"I guess..." she said as she looked out the window.

"I actually do the same basically. Go home and fall down on my bed."

…

Nothing from her..

"That's fine. You don't need to say anything. I'm actually really tired from doing all that talking during lunch. So sitting down with someone that doesn't talk a lot is really nice."

That's when she looked at me. Not for long, but there was a small moment that made me feel some sorta 'fuck talking' connection.

 

We should ask for her number.

 

Why would I do that?

 

In case we need to ask her anything for the chair.

 

Right.

 

"Hey, can I get your number in case I need to ask about anything else for the project?"

"I'm not really sure about that…" She said looking down.

"It could really make the project a lot better if I could ask real quick questions when at home."

"Aren't you supposed to keep it at school though?"

"Nah. I'm sure Mr. Roland would say that to other students, but he knows how good I am and that it'd help. At least I'm betting he will."

"You can just ask at school. I don't really feel good about giving it to you."

"Yeah but if I have a question and I can't ask then the entire night would go to waste. If I could just ask you whenever, then I can make his gift even better."

She took a deep breath. "How much do you really need to know?"

"There's a lot that could come up with. But trust me when I say it's gonna be awesome."

She rubbed her hands a little before she took out her phone. "If it'll really help that much with Robbie's gift."

"Sweet. Thanks."

I took out my phone as she gave me her number. 

The rest of the ride home was dead silence between us, but it was really nice to just sit with her. Yeah, there were people at the lunch table, but I never really said much of anything to them at all, so it felt different with her. 

Once I got to my stop, I stood up and turned to Holly. "Hey, thanks again for letting me know what he likes. I'm gonna try and make the best gift I can for him.

She actually smiled at me a little! By little I mean I'd need a fucking magnifying glass to see it, but I swore she smiled! That was the first good reaction I got from her, so I walked off the bus feeling like a million bucks.

With that, I walked home as I started thinking about ideas for the shelves.