And here it is! Robbie is now caught up, and next week we'll be starting with Kendall again. We have come to realize in the last couple of chapters that Robbie was mostly just reacting to stuff. We'll keep this more in mind when writing Kendall's chapters so he can get more action.
Content Warning: Mentions of self harm.
Thank you for reading and we hope you enjoy!
Pern and I sat on the ground until Sophie's dad came walking down the alleyway. Sophie got up and went over to talk to him. I didn't bother making out what they said, but he walked up to Kendall and knelt down next to her.
"What the hell happened to her face?" Mr. June said as he turned to Sophie.
"I told you. Someone attacked her…"
"So someone just walked up out of nowhere and beat her up?" He stood and stared down at her. "Do you seriously expect me to believe that? And what are you guys even doing here in the first place?" He looked back and forth between Sophie and myself. "Tell me what happened."
Sophie's already in enough trouble with her dad.
"I did it," I said, getting both of their attention. "Sophie tried to stop me."
"Get off…" Kendall said, still laying on the ground, "Don't…"
Mr. June went from focusing on me to back to Kendall. "What happened when she when into this state?"
I hid my face in my hands and wanted to get this over with. "I was holding her shoulders down."
"I was worried about that, but she'll be fine. I still want to know what happened here. And I want the truth."
I really don't want to go through it all again…
We don't have a choice it seems.
I know.
I explained everything that happened to him. From when we left school up to the end when she became like this.
"Jesus Christ. I know this girl caused you a lot of trouble, but this?" He said, going from looking at me to Kendall. "One of you sends her to the hospital and another pepper sprays her and beats her up. I can't even see if her injuries are serious because you can't touch her like this."
"That was before," Sophie said. "I tried to stop Robbie because I didn't want her to get hurt."
"Then you should've tried harder. Right now there's nothing I can do. She needs to settle down and then get checked out for any serious injuries."
"What's going on with her?" Sophie asked.
"If she hasn't told you what this is, then you don't need to know. But if she wakes up and sees someone she doesn't know when in an alleyway, then it'll likely make it worse. Can I trust you to watch after her?" He asked Sophie, who looked over at me.
"Yeah, I'll keep her safe."
"Then I'll be out in the car. Just talk to her and keep reminding her where she is. When she wakes up, tell me."
"Alright."
Mr. June headed back to the car. Without waiting, Sophie knelt down next to Kendall. "Hey... I don't really know what's going on, but I'm supposed to talk to you. You're in an alleyway. There's...Sorry, I don't really know what to say."
---
Zach going through the same thing.
---
---
"He's a lot more dangerous than me!"
---
"Think she's going to be okay?" I asked, sitting down against the opposite wall.
She didn't even look at me as she said, "Why do you care?"
"Why do you?" I shot back.
"Because I like helping people deal with bullies."
"One day of getting back at her doesn't make me a bully."
"So you bullying Holly for getting friendly with Kendall just didn't happen?"
My frustration built up to the point I wanted to scream as I planted my face in my hands.
Say sorry.
"Sorry for getting upset a friend was hanging out with someone that almost made me kill myself."
"Just stop," she said, still not looking at me.
"No I'm not going to stop. Because that's what happened."
I stood up and midway towards walking over to Sophie and Kendall, she got up and put her hand out to stop me. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.
"Please just listen to me for a second. Yes I know I went too far with Holly and Kendall, and I'm sorry about almost spraying you, but if I didn't stop her then it could have been you or me next. She barely broke a sweat knocking my friends down. Why wouldn't I spray her? I get you being mad about almost getting hit, but you're acting like I kicked a dog."
"A blind dog that couldn't defend itself trying to get away."
"Can you please stop with that," I went to grab her hand, but she grabbed my wrist and spun my arm behind my back.
"I said don't touch me." She pushed me forward towards the other wall.
Seriously? It's like we weren't even dating this morning…
I walked back to the wall and slouched down against it.
It might be too soon. We should give her some time. Maybe we can try again later.
Maybe.
And if we're going to be waiting here, then we should tell Dad.
I took out my phone and started typing.
To Dad:
7:01 PM: Something's going on with a classmate and I'm worried about them. Sophie called her dad and he said she needs time to get out of it. Is it okay if I stay here with them for awhile?
Worried about her. That's a first.
I don't even know if it's true.
From Dad:
7:03 PM: Yeah. Are they okay? And where are you?
To Dad:
7:04 PM: I guess so. And in an alleyway near the pet shop.
From Dad:
7:06: Okay. Just be safe. Call me if you need us.
Pern and I sat together in silence. We thought it'd just be ten, twenty minutes. No. It went for hours before Kendall started to move.
Kinda surprised it took so long.
We've only ever seen Zach and now Kendall go through this, so we don't know how long they last.
The moment Kendall laid eyes on Sophie, she jolted back. "Where's Zach?"
"I told them to leave. I don't know what happened between you guys, but if it was enough to make someone like you scared, then I didn't want them around."
Her head turned to the side and our eyes locked onto each other. She practically jumped back to the wall as she held her back, but shortly after, she started to stand up.
She looks afraid of us.
"Are you okay?" Sophie asked.
Kendall looked at Sophie as she worked her way to her feet using the wall. "I believe so." Her legs shook like they were going to shatter at the smallest touch.
"You shouldn't try to stand. I called my dad and he's waiting in his car. He said something about how you seeing someone new when you got out of it might make things worse…What was that, anyway?"
It's good to see she can at least stand up on her own.
That doesn't mean she won't need to go to the hospital.
As we said that, Kendall stumbled and caught onto Sophie to keep herself from falling. It didn't look like she was going to be able to hurt me if she wanted to. "Thank you," Kendall said, "I know we didn't deserve you protecting us like that. But you did anyway."
"Us?" Sophie asked.
'Us' and 'we'? Holy shit, did she switch out?
Oh God. This could go so many different ways.
"Ask him," she said towards me as I studied her. She let go of Sophie and took a few steps towards me, but Sophie walked in between us.
"No. I don't want any more shit going on. My dad will check you out to see if you need to go to the hospital and we'll be done with this."
She never stopped looking me in the eyes as she talked. "You want to know why Kendall did everything?"
She did! This is Kendall's anima. Holy shit this is…I don't know, but she can't beat me up like that. She's still probably going to try anyway though.
I stood up and walked towards her. With arms crossed, "I do."
"Robbie I swear to god. Back off," Sophie said as she looked back and forth between us, holding her arms out to keep us apart.
Ignoring Sophie, Kendall pushed past her and rushed over to me in a sprint, but she tripped and barely grabbed me mid fall, making me fall backwards with her.
Of course she attacks us!
I started swinging, but she climbed up on me, grabbed my shoulder and covered my mouth, and shouted. "He held us down like this almost every night!"
I stopped as her words echoed in my ears.
Held them down? What's she talking about?
Pern lowered his bulb and held up his vines like he was going to attack.
We don't know.
“I'm not an idiot," she said as she started to tear up, "I know everything we did to you was terrible. I know we were assholes. But we went easy on you. We didn't want to hurt you. You can believe it or not, but we thought you would be just fine. Take your lumps and go on with your life like it never happened. But we were wrong."
What's going on here? This is Kendall's anima. She's supposed to be this brute that beats up people!
"Kendall told you at lunch. Just because you don't do stuff as bad as what others do to you, doesn't mean you're not bullying them. Think of all the terrible things we did to you. I bet it seems like hell, doesn't it?"
Her tears rolled down and landed on me.
This is wrong. This isn't how she is. Why the isn't she just attacking? Why is she crying like this!?
Just nod.
But-
We said to nod.
So I nodded, and she continued.
"You have no idea what we would give up to be in your shoes. If you want to know what actual hell is like, then Imagine lying on your bed. Each and every night. Staring at the door. Trembling as you hear your fathers footsteps. Your door opens, and he comes in. He walks up to you and pulls the blanket off of you. Sits on your bed. Whispers into your ear.
'Get undressed.'"
Laying there, I looked up at everything I knew about Kendall and the last four years break more with every word she said. I didn't get a chance to even begin to process what she said before she continued.
"You obey, because he'd- He'd give you to his friends. for free. Just to teach you a lesson."
Given to his friends for free? Why does it sound like she was pimped out?
Because it sounds like that's exactly what she's saying…
…
She leaned forward and put her mouth right up against my ear. "And even during the day. He'd make sure we were alone. He'd pressed his lips to our ear just like this. And whispered 'say you're a mistake...Say it again…Keep saying it. Until I tell you to stop.' Just…just like we did to you…"
—
Doing the same thing by trying to make Kendall eat that fry.
—
I think I'm going to be sick…
"And he wasn't the only one. That guy? Zach?" Sweat was covering her face by now. "Our father brought him to our house. Because he needed practice. So he did exactly what father did to us. He didn't tell you he did something like that, did he?"
What!? Zach did something like that!? I-
—
Sleeping in the same room as him.
—
What if- No. No no no nothing like that happened. I'd wake up and-
We're heavy sleepers.
—
Zach doing something to us when we were asleep.
—
Shaking my head in disbelief, I had to not think about that. Because it wouldn't change anything. It didn't happen.
She let go of my mouth and shoulder and pulled herself down close to me with my collar. We both looked into each others eyes as she let out a voice cracking scream.
"It's because of people like them we can't sleep! We lay in bed for hours. Playing those same images in our head! We can't even sleep on a normal bed! We sleep on a fucking cot, because laying down on a soft bed brings back too many memories! And when we finally get to sleep? We wake up maybe three or four hours later." She let go of me and dried her face with her shirt. Revealing big bags under her eyes as she grabbed my collar and leaned over me again. "Can you see them? The eye bags. We know you saw them before. We're tired…
We want one night. Just one. Where we sleep all night. Where we don't lay there for hours thinking about what happened. Or what we did to you. We're sorry, but you can’t imagine the rush we got every time we upset you. We felt in control for once in our life. We felt powerful and happy. Then ten minutes later we'd feel like shit. We’d run everything we did to you in our head, but those moments made it worth it, because they distracted us from everything. Our entire fucking life."
She felt bad bullying me? All this time?
Guess so.
I want to say that's a lie, but this is her anima…
‘What can I do to Robbie today?’ ‘This morning is terrible. I need to think up something fun to do to Robbie.’ ‘Robbie’s not here? Guess today’s gonna fucking suck.'”
…Holly has video games, we have our plants, Sophie has her music, Kendall has her bullying.
Her hands started to tremble, and if we weren't laying there doing nothing, then I was sure I would be as well.
“We don’t remember how long ago it started. As far back as we could remember, he snuck…he snuck into our room every other night. He pinned us down and he...and he made us...he made us have sex with him…"
She kept staring down at me without saying anything. Giving me some time to process this.
I thought parents were supposed to love their kids…
Between Susie's parents keeping her in the basement and this. That clearly isn't true.
Kendall grabbed my shoulders and planted her face into my shirt. Only to let out the single most gut wrenching cry I've ever heard in my life. The kind that stays with you forever.
Her grip turned into her pulling on my shirt as she yelled in a broken voice. “I’m sorry! I'm sorry I sent you to the hospital! I'm sorry for bullying you! I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you!"
Pern lowered his bulb towards Kendall. Slowly, he used one of his vines to pat Kendall's back.
She's given half assed apologies. But this is real, and there isn't enough blind hate in the world that could keep us from seeing that. She's actually sorry.
She kept going, but in a much lower voice. "You never deserved any of that. You were just trying to be nice. I've been trying to find a way to make it up to you, but everything I did just made it worse. I'm sorry…I'm sorry…” She rolled off of me, and I just looked blankly up at the sky. All the energy I had vanished as I got lost in my thoughts.
What am I even supposed to do with all that? I actually feel bad for her, but I'm still pissed at her.
Not to mention we feel wrong getting mad at her now.
Why though!? Yeah I didn't even know stuff could get that bad, but that doesn't change what she did!
Pern weakly lifted his vines in a shrug.
'Your life is terrible, so you get a pass to be an asshole' is the best way we can describe it. It's nonsense, but that's how we feel.
Then change how we feel.
If we could just do that, then we wouldn't have this much anger in us. We're afraid of not having anything to point it all at now. It's just going to sit there.
"Here." Sophie walked over and held out her hand to Kendall. Which she took and used it to help her up. Sitting up, I looked at Sophie, but she acted like I wasn't even there.
And this just stings. She could at least say something to us.
I know I messed up, but yeah. She doesn't need to just blow me off like this.
We guess she really is done with us. Just like that.
I spaced out when it hit me that it was actually over between us. I knew I almost hurt her. I knew I took it too far with Kendall. But there had to be something I could do to make it up to her.
We don't know if there's a way right now.
Then we'll think of what we can do.
Yes, we will.
I was lost in thought and didn't come back until I noticed Kendall with Sophie's phone.
"It's me. I'm sorry…I…"
…
"I'm sorry. I had an episode and I just got out of it now and please don't be mad…”
An episode? So that's what it's called?
Seems so. We should look this up later as well.
Yeah.
“I’m fine. And I’m safe, but can you please pick me up? I'm at 29 Birchwood St. Near the pet store."
…
"I will. Thank you…"
She gave the phone back to Sophie. "Thanks. My sister's coming to pick me up…Would it be alright if you wait here with me until she gets here?"
"No problem," Sophie said as she played with her phone and stared at Kendall.
"What do you want?" Kendall asked.
"Nothing. It's just…I guess I didn't really think you had a real reason for everything. And I wasn't expecting…I don't know what I was expecting, but not that."
A real reason?
It almost sounds like Sophie's saying it's an alright reason for her to bully us.
…If she actually thinks that, then maybe I shouldn't try to make it up to her.
We don't actually know if that's what she meant. It was just how she sounded.
"What are you doing?" Kendall asked as Sophie sat down next to Kendall.
"My dad said you're supposed to comfort people after whatever you were going through."
Kendall looked away from her, "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't act like we're all of a sudden going to be friends just because you heard all that. You said yourself that we're not back in gym."
"Oh, I wasn't meaning to. Sorry…I don't really know what to do..."
"If you want to help, then give me space. Go sit next to Robbie or something."
I locked eyes with Sophie, but she turned away and got up to go play more on her phone.
Fuck this. I'm not going to just sit here and be ignored like that.
I got up. Barely able to stand on my feet after everything and walked towards the exit of the alleyway.
How am I going to fix all this?
We need to find a way to make it up to Sophie and Holly. Holly might even be more pissed than Sophie. We don't know what to expect. At least we could pretend to know what to do with Kendall. But we don't know how to handle her, either.
So you're saying that everything we were worried would happen has happened because of us?
Everything we were worried about and more. What's even going to happen with Kendall and us now? Best case, she just minds her business.
And the worst case?
No clue, because after that carpet bombing from the both of them. We really have no clue what to expect or how to act.
…Forget it. I'm too tired right now and just want to go home and go to sleep.
We'll deal with this later then.
Pern and I walked to the end of the alleyway and looked back for a moment. Neither one of them even glanced my way and acted like I wasn't gone.
We can't let this get us down. Let's just go home and try and deal with this.
Too tired to argue, I walked down the side walk side by side with Pern as we made our way home.
