Now, where was I? Right, the shower… Before I continue, I feel as if there is something that I… I mentioned it, but I have not properly emphasized how much pressure I felt when I was in Maxxie’s original body. There were moments where I almost forgot that I was in this body, but with every major movement, I was reminded of my current state. Whenever I spoke I had an increasingly brief moment of concern that I would misuse my current voice. Whenever I walked, I wondered if I was walking properly, or if I looked like two dogs in a people suit.
It was nerve-wracking, awkward, and at the same time strangely invigorating. There was a certain taboo aspect to everything that sent my heart racing and sent some dopamine coursing through my brain whenever I managed to pull something off. Not that I should have felt that way. There was nothing wrong with what Maxxie and I were doing, and I had her permission to enjoy this situation as much as I could.
This train of thought occupied my mind as I was in the bathroom, getting ready to shower. It’s something of a habit of mine. Using the privacy and isolated nature of the bathroom to ponder certain things, thinking more deeply and analytically than I normally do. I’m not sure why I do this, but here I think it was my own way of delaying the inevitable. I already felt weird peeing in my current body, and showering struck me as a far more disconcerting experience.
“I saw Maxxie naked plenty of times before. She wants me to do this. I don’t want to go to bed and be all stinky come Sunday. Plus, Terra will think I’m up to something if the bathroom is closed all night…”
Those sorts of thoughts were just my way of facing the inevitable, which I eventually gave in to.
I began removing my somewhat smelly blue vest over the tight white shirt I had been wearing for the past few hours. I evaded the mirror as I began to strip, dropping my top on the light blue floor tiles as I made a cursory glance at the chest I was embedded with. I briefly gave my left breast a slight poke, but after feeling a distressing chill go up to my spine, I looked past my darker skin-toned bra and decided to take off my leather pants first.
I unbuttoned the tight pants and felt a sense of relief as I was freed from their constrictions, and with the removal of my socks, I was left standing there in nothing but my underwear. Wishing to cease my procrastination, I took a whiff of myself, sending a sour smell blazing through my nostrils. Using this odor as a motivator, I undid the bra and slid down the panty, leaving me completely naked.
Verde: Mind if I ask why exactly you were so hesitant to look at your naked body? You’ve explained your hesitation somewhat. Because you are asexual. But asexuality is different than… it almost sounds like you are describing gymnophobia. Is there an elaborate reason for your discontent?
…I could sit here and talk for hours upon hours about various things I think may have influenced my disinterest in the subject matter. Maxxie and I had plenty of debates about this over the years, but never really sat down and did a formal analysis of it. Okay, we tried, but Maxxie lost the notes we took over the course of a week where we had this discussion on and off. Yes, I know I am being superficial and there is nothing wrong with what I was doing, but something in the back of my mind kept on holding me back, telling me that what I was doing was wrong.
After about a minute of standing in the bathroom, naked, feeling the circulated air brushing against my body in ways I wasn’t used to. I began taking deep breaths, mentally confirming that this is indeed my body, at least for the next 11-ish hours. I had permission and encouragement to take a shower, and I told myself to stop allowing the back of my mind to nag at me with worry.
Tired of delaying the inevitable, I turned on the shower. As the hot water began pouring, I stepped over the bathtub and into the stream of water… almost slipping in the process. I let out a slight laugh in response to nearly bashing my head against a wall. It helped free me of some tension as I grabbed a bottle of liquid soap and a washcloth to do what I needed to.
I went through the process of lathering and cleaning my body, eyes facing the wall or shut as I felt my way around with a soapy washcloth. I enjoyed the feeling of the warm water cascading down on me. The soft texture of the washcloth as it went across my limbs and face. And the flowery scent of the soap enhanced my mood. Still, that was before I came to the two areas I dreaded. I swiftly wiped my breasts and crotch, as I had no idea how to clean them and I did not want to find out through trial and error.
I didn’t feel I could take such a slapdash approach with the hair, however. As such, I simply grabbed a bottle of shampoo, rubbed it through my hair and scalp, rinsed it, and did the same with a bottle of conditioner. I was not entirely sure if I was missing some secret vital step, but I figured it was at least better than nothing. Having completed the cleansing process, and stood long enough to rinse away the cleansing byproducts, I turned off the water, took a second to recognize that I was done, and began… I began examining my body.
I kept my eyes away from my body as I began sending my right hand down to my… lower regions, feeling the area up and eventually sticking my— my index finger inside. I was frightened by the sensation and planted myself up against the shower wall, where I let out a little chuckle. I then moved my other hand towards my left breast and began rubbing its nipple, sending a wave of sensations through myself before I stopped seconds later.
“Okay, okay… That was interesting,” I said to myself in a hushed whisper. “You know what, I don’t need to do this, at least not now. I have all the time in the world to try this out, but before I delve down that rabbit hole… shit, that was a pun, wasn’t it? Anyway, I won’t go deeper down this well, and will go about my night without any… fapping of any kind. I’ll explain this to Maxxie, that I tried and, yeah, tonight is a bad night to try anyhow.”.
With that, I exited the shower, rubbed a towel against my person to dry myself off, and began the process of getting ready for bed. My sleep clothes consisted of a graphic tee that I didn’t really get, a gray hoodie with the word ‘youth’ printed on it, a green cotton skirt that went to my knees, and some white stockings. I brushed my teeth, enjoying Maxxie’s Strawberry flavored toothpaste, before taking out a hair dryer and drying my hair. I had only ever done it a few times before— never with this much hair.
After tending to my hair, drying it and brushing it, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was met with the sight of a round-faced young Blasian girl with freckles sprinkled over her face and silky black hair. It was Maxxie, but she looked… better than she usually did. It made me wonder why Maxxie so rarely ever chose to groom herself, as she really is quite a cute girl when she tries.
Verde: You were quite a cute girl.
Well, I had the body of a really cute girl. If this was a forever thing and I was stuck in Maxxie’s body, that may have been true, but as I said, this only lasted four days.
Anyhow, as I was making my way out of the bathroom, I thought about going to see Terra to give her some words of encouragement before bed. However, my nervousness got the better of me, and I instead made my way to Maxxie’s bedroom. Not only did I not know what to say, but I was afraid that I would weird out Terra after our last conversation went oh-so marvelously.
Then, just as I was opening the door to Maxxie’s room, Terra spoke to me.
“Um, hi, Jad,” Terra murmured just loud enough for me to hear.
“Oh— hey Terra. Is there anything…” I said, trailing off as I realized I had no clue what I should say.
“Maxxie— she called me while you were in the shower. Did you… You know.”
“You mean… oh no, no I— I couldn’t— yes, she said I should, but really in this kind of situation, I don’t…” I rambled, hoping that Terra would stop me sooner than later.
“Okay, I just wanted to know. Maxxie— she made a joke about how I should try… that before I think about going all the way through with this. She wanted me to compare my… feeling to the way it feels in her body, and I— I just wanted to know.” Terra explained, beating around the bush about beating the bush.
“Oh, well, I tried doing it a few times, Maxxie actually was the one who showed me what masturbation was the summer before high school, and I’m not a fan of it. I mean, it offered some relief, but that, and intercourse… no, not really interested in that.” I said as I became very afraid of Babs walking in on this immensely awkward conversation.
“I felt it… harden a few times in school, but I have no idea why. It’s pretty random… and scary.”
“Well… After you start taking blockers, I think it will stop doing that. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with what’s going on. It’s just that… you don’t want it to, but you… Maxxie was ecstatic to hear you tell her that. Not because she necessarily wanted you to be trans, but because she loves you and wants you to be happy. I want you to be happy, and your family wants you to be happy… I’m really, really sorry for messing this up for you. I can only imagine what must be going through your head, and… I don’t know what else to say.”
“Oh… um… T-Thanks, Jad… I’ll see you in the morning.”
After Terra blissfully ended this conversation, she went back to her room while I retreated to Maxie’s room, where I leaned against her door while stroking my fingers through my hair.
“The fuck is my life now?” I asked myself.
Before I could answer that question, my attention was drawn to Maxxie’s phone, where I spied a duo of newly received texts from Zoe and Shiaka, two close friends of Maxxie and myself. They both said the same basic thing, confirming that we’d meet up at Maxxie’s house tomorrow, Sunday, November 23rd, at 11:00. An expected commitment from the two of them, and one that made me preemptively exhausted for what tomorrow would bring, especially after everything that happened today.
“Okay, so I received a mysterious package containing a freaking body swapper. I’m about to spend a night as my female best friend. And I just had a 10-year-old come out as trans to me, thinking that I was her sister. Now I’m going to introduce this freaking body swapper to my other two friends and by 12:00 tomorrow, I will have probably been in all of their bodies. Ugh! I won’t lie and say that this isn’t cool, but why is this happening to me? I’m just some guy and this… this is an opportunity that most transwomen would kill for. All I wanted to do was enjoy my weekend before a holiday break, and play some video games. I mean, just… why? Why any of this? Why is this my life now?”
As I went about these musings, tossing and turning across Maxxie’s bed, I eventually found my eyes locked on the full-length mirror on the back of Maxxie’s door. There, I saw the face of an upset looking young woman buried in a thick blanket.
“‘Shame is only for the most foolish of Jays. Don’t let all the bad BS roaming ‘round this world of ours ever get you down, as worrying about this and that never helped anybody with anything.’” I said to myself, quoting something that Maxxie told me years ago.
She was right. I made some mistakes, but there was no need to worry about them now. I could feel bad about the could’ves and should’ves over the past few hours, but what’s done is done, and I figured I should try and help get Maxxie’s sleep schedule on track. So I turned off the lights and began thinking about some random bullcrap as I drifted off into dreamland… which took about 45 minutes.
Verde: …Due to a mix of your own discomforts, the energy coursing through Maxxie’s body at any given time, and the fact that you jolted up whenever you felt pressure against your slightly smaller than average breasts.
…Yes, that’s about right, Verde.
Verde: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but do you truly have a problem with nudity?
I could go on a long story about where this came from. But here’s what I’d use as an opening if I were to do the ‘in media res’ thing when describing the origins of my sexuality, or lack thereof. Back during the summer of 2006, Maxxie and I had just finished third grade, and I had helped her improve her grades so she could get a computer from her parents. She had it for about a week before she and I were browsing around a couple sites, watching flash animations on Newgrounds, and searching for cool fanart of stuff. However, Maxxie ended up disabling safe search on Google Images when we were looking up Pokémon art. And even back then, there was still quite a bit of Rule 34 out there.
What we accidentally stumbled upon was an orgy of various Pokémon and characters from the anime, all of which were given massive dicks or tits, and the entire image was just caked in this vile web of semen. I gagged as I saw it while Maxxie just laughed at how absurd the whole thing was. At that moment— right then and there— Babs decided to walk in and bring us some juice boxes. She saw the screen, and… I was not allowed to see Maxxie for five days. …Then, one day later, she snuck into my room at night and we had a ‘ secret sleepover’ before falling asleep in the same bed.
Verde: You are omitting a few details there. Namely ones involving your father, who you clearly dislike.
Yes, part of that reason is because my father— no, he does not deserve that title. Bryce, Bryce Novus, interpreted this story his own way. He thought I was the one who brought up the picture and showed it to Maxxie, scarring her ‘young impressionable girl mind.’ I was punched in the face, and my mother didn’t let me leave the house for a few days because my eye was messed up pretty badly.
Verde: And seeing as how you were unfamiliar with sexual imagery, your brain interpreted sexual imagery, and sexual things by extension, as inherently bad?
I… I might have… accidentally caught a whiff or porn back when I was five probably helped as well… Look, sexual things generally make me uncomfortable, despite seeing a lot of Maxxie’s SSD, her ‘Super Sexy (hard-on) Drive,’ of drawn pornography and hentai doujins. I would be much happy if I never saw a naked person again, as the majority of humans associate that with sex, myself included. …I have other stories I could tell, but we still have three more days to recap.
