“Haa~h.”

I can't help but sigh in distress.

Maybe it was partly my fault, or perhaps hers, but his personality took a dark turn. He became arrogant, looking down on almost everyone.

His reckless behavior nearly cost him his life, and now he's paralyzed from the neck down. There's no hope for him; he's become disabled.

I shouldn't have neglected him; I should have taken better care of him.

I am doing it again but now it's for different reason.

It's no longer for money. I'm now working hard; focusing on my job because... because I'm afraid. But because of fear, I forgot who I am working hard for.

I climbed my way up from being a janitor to the head of security of this renowned mall in order to give my son a better life.

So that he won't become like her mother.

But I ended up neglecting him for it. I did it again.

“Hahh~”

Now my son has no future.

He'll stay bedridden for the rest of his life.

*Knock!*Knock!*Knock!*

“Sir. I'm here to submit my report for this week.”

“Come in and just put it on this table. I'll read it later.”

I'll just take care of my son first.

I packed my things ready to go out just waiting for my staff to leave. Afterwards, I lock my door and go out of the building driving my car towards the hospital.

It's sunday and it's passed 3 o'clock in the afternoon. There's now many people going home from hanging out around the city. But there's still those going into malls with their family and children.

We're like this before as well. Being a janitor at Dahlia mall, I also have my own day off which is by the weekend.

I am always saving up money so that when it's sunday, I can bring my family with me to eat outside.

Our life was happy. My wife was happy. Marc was happy. I am happy.

My job isn't so satisfying and honestly laborious. There are times I'm frustrated from being rushed by my wife for money.

We're always late from paying for our house rent, electric bill, water bill and other fees.

I am angry and I admit that I occasionally hurt my wife. I'm not mad at her, but to myself.

I mean, I'm the father yet I can't even give my family a decent life. I just can't help but be mad.

But despite that, my wife stayed with me. She cared for me and my son. She loved us.

Everytime I go home from work; exhausted and stinky from cleaning several floors, she will be there smiling at me waiting at our home while holding our son in her arms.

That's enough to make me happy and wake up in the morning to go back to that tiring work. Because I'm doing that for them. I want them to live happily in peace.

With that thought, I exhausted myself by working everyday. In my free time such as weekend, I will work part-time.

I worked myself to death but it wasn't enough. I don't know the reason but why did it felt like when I increased my source of income, our expenses also increased?

Shouldn't we had more leeway because I had more source of income that time than when I was just working as a janitor?

It was strange. I felt more tired and mad. Hitting my wife became frequent as well.

I even once got angry at her when she asked me to go on a vacation with her and Marc.

‘Why Should I Waste Money For That?! I'm killing myself to work just to give you money and all you can think of is VACATION?!’

That was stupid! Thinking about it now, I was stupidly wrong. I was working for them not for the money.

I lost sight of my true goal.

When my wife left me and Marc; leaving only a piece of paper with only one word and seven letters written on it, I was mad!

I cursed at her for being such a bitch. She left me after all. She left me because I have no money to give her.

I labeled her as a golddigger in my heart. I didn't want to look for her. I don't want to see her anymore!

However, when the current situation happened to Marc. I realized my mistakes. Or should I say that I finally faced the truth?

I worked hard even more with the excuse of giving him a good life so that he won't leave me. So that he won't be like her mother that will abandon his father for money.

But I was wrong. I wasn't doing that for him. It was for myself.

I am terrified!

I don't want him to leave. I don't want my son to leave me.

That's why I tried to distance myself from him. Because I am afraid of the pain of him leaving.

I am afraid that one day he'll leave like his mother leaving me with broken heart.

So that's why I distanced myself from him. So that once he leave, I won't feel much pain.

And worse, my wife didn't leave because I lack money. It's because I lacked time for her. I neglected her!

Now I did the same to my son. I neglected him and now he's lying on the bed unable to move!

It's all my fault. My wife abandoning us and my son getting paralyzed— IT'S ALL MY FAULT!

I am wiping Marc's body with a wet towel but drops and drops of warm water keep falling onto his arm.

No matter how many times I wipe his skin, it keeps getting wet.

I cover my face preventing the water from flowing down. But it just won't stop.

My throat is already dry; my eyes are already burning. But the water still won't stop.

“Dad...”

Hearing that voice, I immediately wipe my face with the wet towel.

“Marc, how do you feel?”

Marc can't move his upper and lower body. The only thing he can move is is head, eyes, mouth and face.

Looking at this, I feel like crying again.

“How do I feel? Isn't it obvious? I'm angry!”

That's....

“How dare you shou—”

I saw him get scared. I almost shouted at him again.

“Hahh~ No. I'm sorry.”

I truly am. If only I...

“Well.....”

He gnashes his teeth.

“You should be! It's your fault I'm here! It's your fault for not helping me.”

I can't breathe hearing those words. Normally, I would have shouted at him again but I can't do it now.

Because it's indeed my fault.

“Now I'm forever in this bed! I... I.... FUCK!”

I don't know what to say so I just remained silent.

“Forgive me.”

“Hmmp. Now you're feeling sorry? It's too late. You lost your wife and now you'll lose your son!”

“!!!”

That's... 

“I won't allow that!”

“!!”

I ended up shouting this time. And that scared Marc.

I see him swallow but he immediately reveals an angry expression. He then scoffed before speaking.

“Alright dad. But you need to do something for me.”

“What is it? Anything you want as long as I can do it, I'll give it.”

I subconsciously held his arm.

“......”

Marc is silent for a moment seemingly surprise.

“I...”

“What?”

I'll try to give it to him no matter what is it.

“I want revenge!”

He said with a dark twisted face. He looks really mad.

Revenge. I understand why would he want that.

He's now paralyzed. He's hurt and all the sufferings he felt since  childhood also fans the flames of anger in his heart.

I understand.

I truly do.

And I like to avenge him as well.

I punished dozens of people before just because they bullied my son.

Although I know he's also at fault, I can't just stand by and let him be hurt just like that.

I avenged him.

And I'd like to do it again. I'm also angry but....

I already swallowed it down.

Because, that girl, she's somebody we can't mess with.

But am I just gonna force my son swallow his anger as well.

I don't think he'll do so.

He might even end up hating me completely...

“Hahh~”

Wife, what should I do?