Atonement Through Revenge

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I am driving around the city, the hospital looming in the distance. Each turn of the wheel brings me closer to the reason for my journey—a visit to my son.

Inside that sterile, clinical environment, he lies motionless, paralyzed from the neck down. The result of a brutal altercation that left him defeated and broken.

My heart surges with a mixture of emotions, primarily anger. But I'm trapped in a cage of helplessness. There's nothing I can do to change the past.

I want revenge— Truly want revenge but...

The person responsible for my son's predicament is no ordinary foe. I am a mere head of mall security. I stand defenseless against this formidable adversary. I possess no genuine power in this battle.

*Knock*Knock*Knock*

“Marc, I'm coming in.”

“.............”

He didn't respond. He's still angry at me after all. We got into an argument before he became like this. We still haven't dealt with it. And, if only I.... This wouldn't have happened.

This is all my fault.

“How are you now?”

“.............”

I set the assortment of freshly purchased fruits on the petite wooden table positioned next to his neatly made bed.

“I bought an apple and oranges. Which one you'd like to eat first?” I say trying to speak softly.

“.............”

“Alright. Eat the apple first.” I stand up to rinse the apples using the water dispenser in the room. Afterwards, I slices it to several pieces. Then I put a slice in front of Marc's mouth, “Here.”

“.....Why are you here... dad?” he is talking to me, finally.

“.............”

But I couldn't reply immediately due to the trepidation I am feeling.

“.............?”

“I'm visiting my son. What else could be the reason?”

“Heh,” he scoffs at me.

“What's that for?” I feel annoyed because he's showing me blatant disrespect.

“You're just being hilarious.”

“What?”

“I said you're hilarious... hahaha. What are you acting like a ‘good parent’ for?”

“!”

That's...

“You... Hahh~ Just eat,” I swallow my anger. Why am I so irritated?

“Ohh. That's incredible dad,” he's clearly being sarcastic. Is he taunting me? Why?

“.............”

“I really thought you'll shout at me or slap me... That's incredible. You've grown dad. I am so proud of you po... ‘dad’.”

“!!”

Grrrrrt.

“Don't try to anger me Marc. Just eat.”

“What for? Like the hell that will make me get off this fucking bed!! I am paralyzed dad!!”

“That's not.... That's...”

The doctor said that he could recover if the bone was the only one that broke... But... That kid broked my son's spine.

The bone may heal, but the nerves in the spinal cord are permanently damaged. There’s currently no treatment to fix it, hence...

Fuck!

“Stop it okay? Stop acting like a good father! You're just a sore for my eyes. Stop coming back here every time. Leave me alone...,” his eyes are watery. I know that he's angry but... He's also sad.

“I can't do that. I... I realized my mistake. I've been neglecting you... I'm sorry.”

“I don't need that! It's too late. I don't care about you anymore. Just stop it! You're just doing this to absolve your own guilt anyway.”

“!”

“This stupid caring behavior of yours is just to reassure yourself that you're doing something for me... It's just to make yourself feel better! Because you can't do anything anymore—!”

“ENOUGH!”

*Swoosh~*

“!”

*Clang!*

I snapped. I almost hit Marc with that fork.

Calm down.. he's right. This is your fault. Calm down Rolfo! You're not the one suffering here.. You're not...

“H-Heh.. W-What? What are you g-gonna do huh? Hit me? Fuck! G-Go ahead! That's what you're g-g-good at anyway..!” he's stuttering and shivering in fear. Why is he so scared of me? What have I done?

“I am sorry..”

“When you can't solve something, you turn to those close to you and vent on them... When you can't deal with something, you'll blame me... You'll blame mom...! Sniff... It's your fault.. It's all your fucking fault!”

“!!”

I...

“.............J-Just leave me alone... I don't need you..”

“.............”

“.............”

I'm sorry....

“I... I can't do that. I can't just run away now. I've realized my mistakes. I'll atone for it.”

“What for? Can that heal me?!”

“...... no..”

“Then go!”

“No. I'll take care of you..”

“Fuck you! Just go away... Just.. just leave... sniff...”

“I won't...”

“.............leave me alone....”

“.............” Marc cries silently.

I start peeling the oranges.

For a long time, I am just sitting beside him in silence. Marc is just staring in the ceiling, while I'm just watching him.

We didn't talk once in that timeframe.

A nurse came by for a few times to check up on him. He was asked several questions and he answered slowly... But Marc never spoke again after that.

“.............”

“.............”

“I've thought about it...”

Finally.

“What?”

“You want to atone for your sins right... dad..?”

“Yes.”

“Then...”

Hmm.

“Then avenge me...”

“What?”

“Avenge me. Get revenge for me.”

“That's... I'll do anything but that is...”

“What? Are you not angry for what they did to me?!”

“I am! But that is too much.”

“No, it's not. You just need to beat up that guy. I know you can do that.”

“But he's different.. we can't afford it.”

“I thought you wanted to atone! I thought you wanted to make up for all of your shortcomings, then why?!”

“Because we can't! They're too much for us. You're safety is my priority than a silly revenge.”

“They're just kids. Why are you so afraid? Aren't you the head of a mall security? And you have people you can call them to do it for you!”

“They will not agree if they know who's the target...”

“He's just a brat!”

“But his girlfriend is not!”

“Eh? Ms. Hecate? What???” he's taken aback.

“Is that her name? She's... She have a powerful identity so we can't mess with them. I am just... I'm nothing against her!”

“What?”

“You are a member of a gang right?”

“What? H-How did you know?” he looks really surprised. Does he really think I won't know?

“I am aware of everything you've been doing all this time.. your harassments, bullying; your mischiefs and everything else. I know you're a member of that ‘Garbage Gang’.”

“!!”

Hahh~

I really neglected him...

“And, do you know that your gang is under ‘Schadenfreude’?”

“No... Wait.. What? Is that true..?” he looks so happy all of sudden. But...

“Yes.”

“Then we can ask them for help. Isn't that good? Wait... Why do you look so unhappy? Do you even care about me, dad? That brat made me into a useless cripple, dad? And you actually have a resources to deal with him yet why are you so afraid?!”

“Because that ‘Ms. Hecate’ you're talking about is an official of Shadenfreude. A high ranking at that.”

“What? Really?!” he looks so excited. So ignorant!

“Now, do you get it? We can't fight with them... Because the ‘resources’ you're talking about is under their control.”

“You mean ‘under her control’... That brat is just a nobody.”

“We're not sure about that—”

“So what? What are you being so afraid for? Don't you really see the opportunity here dad?!”

No... You're mistaken. I know what you're thinking but you're wrong.

“If I can seize her, won't we have her power for ourselves too? I can get my revenge and still get— hahahahahaha! This is great!”

“It's not..”

“What's wrong with you? Don't you have a confidence in me? Do you not believe I can make her fall for me? Her relationship with that guy is breaking apart... I can steal her!”

“Let's end this conversation here. We're not going with this stupid revenge or whatever.”

“Fuck you! You're just afraid of me. I won't be depending on you anymore!”

“I am not!”

“You are! But fine... if that's how it is. Okay. Do what you want dad. But I'll do what I want too. I'm going to take my revenge and steal miss Hecate from that brat!”

How stubborn! You just don't really understand the danger of what you wanted to do, no?

“And how are you going to do that? You can't even feed yourself. You're overestimating yourself too much. That girl will not choose a paralyzed bastard to take care of. Who are you to her, huh?!”

“!!”

“.............”

“I.... I am sure she—”

“She won't. Just give up.”

“.............” I stand up to leave.

“You should sleep now.”

“.............”

“.............” He seems to be in daze.

I open the door to leave.

“It's not...”

“Hmm?”

“It's not a matter of whether I can do it or not dad; It's a matter of whether I will DO it or not!”

“.............”

“And I will do it! You don't need to bother. Just leave me alone. Don't ever come back here anymore.”

“I wil—”

“I don't need a selfish coward like you for a father.”

“Marc—!”

“LEAVE!!”