As Gregg and I drove away from the rest stop and to the city of Funke, I stared out the passenger window into the night sky. The snow was coming down hard, night had fallen, and I could barely see ten meters past the truck. It was a melancholic sight. One that reminded me of the harsh winter mornings and afternoons I spent with my friends as we went to and from school…
I shuddered as I remembered this, for I still didn’t know what became of them. Maybe Abigale Quinlan killed them. If she did, I would be the one blamed for her heinous and vile actions, despite also being a victim. Maybe I suffered the most out of anyone as I need to deal with the guilt and have lost my very identity. Maybe I suffered the least as I didn’t experience the horrors first hand.
“Even if my friends survived, that doesn’t mean they will accept me,” I thought to myself. “Perhaps they will forever hold a sense of hatred for me as they know what they saw. Perhaps they now view me as a monster, somebody who, to quote an article, ‘wore the intestines of another student as a scarf.’”
A wave of emotions hit me as I saw my reflection in the rearview mirror. It showed my new body, something I wanted to ignore. I tried after I came to terms with what happened, and I hoped that I could repress this reality if I focused on getting home. But as I sat there, waiting to reach my destination, I could not ignore the reality that was quite literally staring me in the face.
I felt myself slowly sink into a pool of sorrows as these thoughts circulated throughout my mind. At least until the little devil on my shoulder begged for my attention once more.
Peatrice: So you think the G-Man’s got a dinosaur-like donk?
“Shut up Peatrice,” I whispered with apathy.
I sighed as I contemplated the possibility of speaking to Peatrice until reaching Funke, yammering on about inane garbage. I decided to distract myself in a different way, by talking to Gregg as he navigated these snowy and icy roads.
“Excuse me, Gregg, I’m just wondering, do you normally pick people up like this?” I asked Gregg, my voice stilted and awkward as the words escaped my lips.
“Well, no, to be honest. You’re my first passenger, Y’vonne.” Gregg answered, staring at my body as he spoke.
“Oh, really? Any reason why?”
“Well, there’s a lot of weirdos all over this country, and you don’t want to be stuck with them for hours on end. But you were in a pickle, and you seemed nice and… helpless enough.” Gregg explained, peering into the darkness while his windshield wipers quickly dispatched any snow that fell on them.
“Oh, um, thanks,” I said, unsure if I was being insulted or not.
Peatrice: Yawn! To be totally honest, I really hate how you handle Abigale Quinlan’s body. I get that you were a nervous, awkward teenage boy before this, but man up a little, ya weenie. I’m not asking for you to go from a mini weiner to a full-on dick, but be a little more assertive, throw your weight around a little, and stop talking like such a timid little bitch. Ya timid little bitch!
I offered Peatrice no response or acknowledgment.
“So, um, you’re a truck driver, how long have you been doing that?” I nervously stammered.
“That would be… seven months by now, six and a half maybe. I graduated high school, had to get the hell out of my parent’s house, and… I managed to get a job that sends me around the country, away from everything I knew and loved.” Gregg explained, yanking the tragedy lever so hard the handle bent.
“Oh, that is… do you enjoy it?”
“I don’t enjoy working long hours, drifting around the country, hoping that I will get enough money for a motel and a meal… I lost my MP3 player a while back, most of my shit got stolen from my storage locker, so I don’t have many clothes, or a smartphone, which sucks a fat one.” Gregg continued, ripping the handle off the tragic lever.
“I… That’s really terrible.”
“Yep! And because I got a couple of dents in this truck, I’m probably gonna be fired by year’s end. So I just hope I get a Christmas bonus before then… I really could use it.” Gregg said, his voice becoming monotone as his despair intensified.
Peatrice: Um, Jad, you should probably bail on this bozo right now. Unlock the door and run the fuck out. You’ll be fine. Trust me.
I wanted to explain to Peatrice the dangers of jumping out of a vehicle moving at 50 kilometers per hour, onto a snow-covered icy road. But I figured he was smart enough to realize why I was inclined to distinctly not trust him.
“Ah geez Gregg, that, that really… You know what, hold on,” I said before digging through my coat, reaching for my purse.
The purse left by Abigale Quinlan was flushed with cash, and I figured I should at least try to compensate this guy for his service. From the wallet within, I pulled out ten fifties— five-hundred dollars— which I placed on the unoccupied truck seat between Gregg and myself.
Upon registering what I had done, Gregg brought the vehicle to the side of the road, parking it and turning on the hazard lights. After removing his seatbelt, he began counting the money, then again, and then a third time. Having thoroughly inspected every bill, Gregg looked at me, bewildered by my generosity.
“…No way, no fucking way you’re just giving me half a grand!” Gregg said as his eyes began to water.
“I want you to have this, Gregg. You’re down on your luck, and I want to help you.” I said with a smile.
“…H-How much more do you have, Y-Y’vonne?”
As he spoke, Gregg’s nostrils flared open, and he turned his head away from me. He began to groan to himself, muttering something unintelligible. It was clear that something was amiss with him, but I had no idea what.
“…I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
Gregg responded to my question by pulling out a large wrench from the side of his seat. He shouted as he swung the metal tool at me, but all I could think to do was raise my arms and shut my eyes. Which wasn’t enough to block the wrench. The cold, hard chunk of metal slammed against my skull, cutting the skin above my left eyebrow, and sending a wave of pain through my body.
I shouted and flailed in response, but this did not cause Gregg to pause. He went in for a second hit, sacking the top of my skull, and then a third, aimed right at my left ear.
Gregg readied a fourth strike, only for me to grab both his wrists, digging my long, well-maintained nails through his skin, painting his wrists with his own blood. The wrench fell to the floor and, in this opening, I shoved myself onto Gregg, thrusting my elbow against his neck and bashing his head against the window.
“Where the fuck do you get off?! You little shit-sucking sonofabitch!” I yelled at him in a furious tone.
“Oh god, please stop!” Gregg coughed as I slammed my elbow deeper into his neck.
“Why the hell should I listen to somebody like you?! You just tried to kill me, you despicable speck of shit!” I barked at him as loudly as I could.
“I wasn’t trying to kill you! Please, please just let me go… Y’vonne!” Gregg pleaded to me.
“Oh, my bad, I misinterpreted armed assault for attempted murder. Assault that involved bashing my fucking head open! And for what? Money? You would kill somebody for a couple thousand bucks, you deplorable subhuman filth?” I shouted at Gregg, my volume lowered, and voice just as intimidating.
“Oh please, please, oh Jesus, stop, this hurts so much! Okay, I wanted to beat, fuck, and rob you. Just please let me go, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry!” Gregg begged as I began to press my elbow deeper into his neck.
I was on the verge of punching him in the face as hard as I could. Maybe even kill him in the process. But then I heard a voice in the back of my head let out a distinctly evil-sounding laugh.
Peatrice: Bahahahaha!
Hearing Peatrice brought me back to my senses, and I realized what I was about to do. The crime I was about to commit. I moved away from Gregg. His neck had a garish bruise, his hands were coated in his own blood, and I noticed a crack in the window from when I slammed his head into it. A crack that was accompanied by an unmistakable red fluid.
“I could have killed him,” I mouthed as I looked over his damaged form.
I then reached up to my head, preparing to address my wounds… but I could not find any. I know he hit me in the head with a wrench. I felt it. I felt my skin welt and bruise from the impact. It gyrated throughout my entire person. But I could not find any signs of damage as I brought a hand to my face. It was beyond strange, but it was not the most pressing thing at the moment. With Gregg wounded and staring at me with glazed, swollen eyes, I knew I had to leave.
I grabbed my purse, opened the passenger door, and fled into the snow-covered roadside wilderness. I knew this was a bad idea— Running through a gold arm blizzard— but I had no other choice. I could not trust Gregg, and after what I did in retaliation, after seeing the fear in his eyes, I knew he would not trust me either. There were no other options, and part of me felt I deserved such a harsh punishment after doing something so horrible to another person.
I wallowed in frantic sorrow until I lost sight of the truck, the road, everything. Until my vision became consumed by the dark of the night and the sight of snow assaulting my face. I thought that I should feel more tired, that I should be freezing given how cold the world around me appeared to be. Instead, I was able to keep moving, unperturbed, through the snowy landscape. I lost track of time and distance as I continued to do so, before finally mustering up the resolve needed to ask Peatrice for aid.
“Peatrice, I… Where is Funke?” I said, despair laced throughout my voice.
Peatrice: Um, I don’t have a GPS or anything. I’m an artificial intelligence, not a smartphone, y’know.
“For the love of… What good are you then?”
Peatrice: Hey, don’t get your panties in a knot. Or, as you like to call it for some dumb reason, ‘panty’ in a knot. I mean, yeah, it makes more sense to call a pair just a panty, but that ain’t how Engish done works itself, boy.
“I… I can’t believe I’m stuck with you, you unsympathetic little cunt!” I shouted at Peatrice as I stomped through the snow. “I was just assaulted, I may have lost all my friends, I lost my fucking body and my entire life was ruined. Now I’m in a body that, for some fucking reason, doesn’t get tired and can apparently heal wounds that should’ve been way worse than they actually were! I get that you are a heartless and cold little demon of a being, but—”
Peatrice: You just learned about reasons six and nine about why your body is badical. You should be ex-fucking-static that you are so much better than everyone else. But here comes the bitch train— Again! Oh, woe is fucking me, my life is so shitty, wah, wah, wah! Fucking hell Jad, you are such a pussy! I don’t got the patience for this, so I’ll let piss off while you have a pity party for yourself. Later, ya dumb-minded loser! Imma take a nap!
As Peatrice’s voice left me and I was left wandering throughout the raging blizzard, alone, I wept silently. Even after I cried all I could, I was still left to wander aimlessly for what had to be hours. Hours spent unphased by the cold, and snow. Hours where I was unable to find the road, let alone a single light in the frigid abyss I found myself in.
My travels eventually brought me to a series of thickly interwoven pine trees. I was hopelessly lost and felt the best thing I could do is wait out the storm. I sat beneath the branches, covering most of my body in snow, and waited. I spoke to myself, projecting my voice over the harsh winds, hoping to stay awake throughout the night. Sadly, my efforts failed, and I eventually drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
When I woke up, I was gazing up at the night’s sky, devoid of clouds and unobscured by the lights and pollution of an urban environment. There were hundreds of stars glistening through a black backdrop, all above a series of snow drenched mountains. Mountains that looked even more beautiful under moonlight and starlight than they did under the sun. It was a gorgeous sight. One that caused me to genuinely smile for the first time since I found myself in this body.
For a brief moment, I felt that all was well. That, perhaps, this was all some bizarre dream. …And then I was thrust back into reality.
Something slashed at my hips, ripping apart my clothes and tearing into my skin, in one swift motion.
I fumbled through the snow until I found myself standing up, staring at a creature that towered above my two-meter tall stature. It howled at me as I looked at it, and then attacked my torso, tearing apart my coat. I panicked and began to run away, as best I could with my tattered hip, but the creature followed suit, dashing on all fours and then tackling me to the ground.
The beast loomed over me, snarling while I was paralyzed in fear. As I hesitated, the beast seeped its teeth into my right shoulder, tearing away a mouthful of my flesh.
I thought I was done. That I would die here. In the snow, far from those I loved, in the body of someone else. For a moment, I accepted this fate… but then I recalled the strength I possessed. The strength that allowed me to destroy that laptop. The strength that allowed me to travel so far on my own. The strength that I used to assault Gregg. I summoned this same strength into my fist as I planted it squarely into this creature’s face as hard as I possibly could.
The beast was knocked on its back by the force, disoriented and injured from what I could tell. I could survive, I thought, but I needed a weapon to deal some more damage. A large rock would suffice, even a big stick, and I searched through a nearby coniferous tree as I heard the beast tumbling closer. I wildly grabbed something off of a tree, pulling it out and whacking the beast with it as it rushed towards me. I was met with a loud thud, followed by a squirt of blood.
It was an axe. I had grabbed an axe from the tree and jammed it into the left arm of the beast, causing it to let out a roar of pain. I did not think about what this axe was doing in the tree, who put it there, or how I managed to find it. I only focused on the beast who I had damaged with this axe. A beast that I had injured substantially, but had not killed.
I then planted my feet down as firmly as I could and pulled the axe out of the beast’s arm. Dazed, the beast was an easy target for another attack, an overhead strike that I aimed directly at its head.
The beast then fell to the ground, its skull sliced in two, releasing a pool of dark liquid that began to stain the pristine white snow that surrounded its corpse.
I began to huff as I looked over this scene, feeling proud of myself for defeating this monster. But I had injuries to address, at least I thought I did. My shoulder, hip, my torso… all of my wounds were gone, just like the ones Gregg gave me. I once again wondered how and why my injuries had been healed so miraculously, but I had more pressing concerns. My tattered coat and my exposed skin. While I had an incredible resistance to the cold, I was not immune to it, and I was shivering as I stood there, in subzero temperatures. I needed warmth, and I knew there was only one place I could get it from.
Disgusted, I slowly moved towards the large beast. With my mind recalling the way Luke survived the frigid climate of Hoth in Empire Strikes Back, I took my axe and sliced the beast along its torso. Out came a mound of warm, wet, bloody innards, a revolting sight assuredly, but I needed warmth, and this was the only way I could get it.
I nestled myself into this creature’s corpse, its slowly decaying flesh, immersing myself deeply in its smell, sight, and texture. I had expected to stay awake until sunrise, unable to find any comfort with my vile surroundings. But as time vaguely marched on, my consciousness faded and I was granted the sweet respite of slumber once more.
