When I returned to my hotel room, I was met with a suspicious-looking brown parcel placed near my bed. Putting down my oversized box of clothes I bought from Arjeanne’s, I began examining this other, far smaller, box.

It was from a clothing distributor, one with an unfamiliar name, but was addressed to one Y’vonne Hemming. I curiously ripped the tape from the cardboard container and was met with a full outfit carefully folded and smelling of a flower that Peatrice enthusiastically identified as daisies. 

I quickly removed the outfit from the box and laid it on my hotel bed. There was a cream-colored dress that puffed out from the waist to give definition to and emphasize a woman’s hips. A pair of brown leather boots with a thick two-inch heel. A pair of thick dark leggings that had fairly sizable pockets given how form-fitting they looked to be. A dark brown ‘underbust’ corset that Peatrice said should be worn over clothing. A denim jacket that looked a tad too small for my current proportions, but it appeared to be designed that way.

“Hey, um, Peatrice,” I said as I looked at the outfit sprawled before me. “Any idea why this just showed up in my hotel room?”

Peatrice: So… I might have forgotten about this, what with all the hectic hoopla going up and down the block the past day and a half. Abigale Quinlan actually ordered an outfit from the way-way-way— the W-3— the World Wide Web— and after two days of shipping, it arrived here, at the Corneria Inn. Why did she do this? So she could have a night out on the town before heading down to Oransen to check out the memorial for the dead students. Where she would cosplay as a cop and examine the remnants of the school, snort some student ashes, masturbate using blown off fingers the coppers couldn’t find. That sort of thing. 

Peatrice: Now then, this outfit itself was quite the pretty penny, so maybe you should slip it on and go out, enjoy your little date with Juniper.

“It’s not a date… and I’m not sure if…” I stammered to the devil on my shoulder.

Peatrice: If you think this is too feminine or some schlock like that, then need I remind you that you just spent a couple hours trying on bras, dresses, skirts, and panties? You’re stuck like this, so you may as well embrace your newfound womanness. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll wear the dress and go on a date I don’t want to go on just because you asked me to, alright Peatrice?”

Peatrice: Sick! Thanks bunches, Jadey-poo. You are such a good little girl!

I didn’t bother trying to defend what little masculinity I was holding onto. I didn’t remember this at the time, but during our session last month, I spent about two full days in my female friends’ bodies and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Sighing at Peatrice’s comment, I undressed and quickly put on the mail-ordered outfit with relative ease. The corset was a little awkward, and I felt poofy thanks to the bell dress, but it was comfortable enough, so I headed into the hotel bathroom to check out how I looked.

I was a little stunned as I looked at myself. While she was an undoubtedly evil person, Abigale Quinlan did have a very attractive body, and it looked very good in these clothes. My reflection showed a powerful yet stylish woman embracing her femininity… but her hair was a bit of a mess.

While I never had long hair personally, I knew the basics of taming a chaotic mane into something presentable, and using the complimentary hairbrush, I did just that. A few minutes later, I let out a small smile as I posed my sharply dressed body around, feeling pretty and… sexy.

Peatrice: Nice! We just need to wait about three hours until your date. Whatcha gonna do now? 

“I honestly forgot about that. You kinda pushed me into this and… hold on.” 

As I spoke, I lifted my arms to smell my armpits.

Peatrice: Yeah, remember how you tried to pee yesterday but couldn’t? You also can’t sweat, get bad teeth, bad breath, or let off any bodily stank. It’s yet another reason why Abi-senpai’s body is the best body ever!

I ignored Peatrice’s reminders of my body’s immorality and looked about my hotel room before my eyes landed on the television with a Roku box at its base. If I could not bide my time with hygiene, I decided to turn to entertainment instead. I wound up catching up on Steven Universe, watching six episodes before leaving my hotel room, dressed as I was, without a coat.

At 18:55, I was walking through the front doors of Funkatron. The design was modern, lighting was dim, and despite the usual crowd one would expect for a Saturday night, the place felt rather… tranquil.

After being directed across the restaurant to the back by the hostess, I took off my bear coat and sat in a chair across from Juniper. Her hair had extra flourish to it, she was wearing makeup, possibly a bit too much, and had wrapped herself in a dark green dress that looked good on her. …Although it did draw some attention to her not so slender arms.

“I’m glad you could make it, Y’vonne! Love the outfit!” Juniper enthusiastically greeted me.

As Juniper’s brown eyes loomed over me, I felt she was looking past my skin and at… something else.

“Oh, it’s no problem,” I nervously said while scratching my cheek. “Thank you for having me, I really don’t go out to eat much.”

“Yeah, I probably should cut back, but I’ve got savings, and it’s not like I’m at risk for anything bad. …Though I really should start going to the gym. I have an exercise bike at home, but I always seem to ignore it.” 

Juniper’s awkward musings were brought to an end when a waitress came by, handing us a pair of menus and asking if we wanted any beverages. I didn’t ask for anything, but Juniper ordered a bottle of wine. I winced as I heard her order, as I did not have a…good relationship with alcohol. It reminded me of my father and the less I thought about him, the better.

Anyway, Peatrice, the nosey little bugger, chose to comment on my reluctance.

Peatrice: You do realize that your brain cells are in no danger, and you literally cannot get drunk, right? 

I rolled my eyes at Peatrice and resumed talking to Juniper. 

“So, how long have you lived here?” I asked, pulling out one of the most basic questions possible.

“Oh, my family moved here after I finished elementary school, but I was away for a while, because of college and stuff. I’m still living with them, to be honest. But, like, I know it will only be a few months before I’m out of here. Maybe a year. I want to get a little nest egg built up in case any trouble comes my way.” Juniper explained, her eyes fixated on my figure.

 “What about you, where are you from?” Juniper asked, resting her chin on her hands.

“I’m from Oransen,” I said without thinking until the words already left my mouth. 

“Oh… oh wow. I heard about what happened at the high school…” Juniper exclaimed, naturally knowing about the shooting.

“Yeah, it’s, it’s just terrible, awful, and…”

“And it was all because of this one student, what was their name? Jade Nexus?” Juniper continued, getting my name wrong.

“Look, could we maybe not talk about this?” 

“Right, right, I’m really sorry Y-Y’vonne. I was… I wasn’t thinking.” Juniper stammered.

“It’s fine, let’s just, um, what to talk about…” I stumbled over my words.

Before I could think of anything, the same waitress from before came by, a bottle of wine in her hands. She poured a glass for each of us before I could protest, and then asked us for our orders. We had menus, but we hadn’t so much as glanced at them. While stammering, I read through the list of entrees and settled on the eggplant parmesan, while Juniper asked for some nasi goreng. After the waitress left, Juniper immediately chugged her glass of wine and poured herself another.

“Um, aren’t you supposed to eat before you drink?” I commented. “I’m pretty sure that absorbs the alcohol, although I could be wrong about that.”

“You’re right, but… sometimes you just need a drink, you know?” Juniper awkwardly said as she tapped her fingers on the table.

Peatrice: I’m getting a premonition, an omen of despair and heartbreak. It is up to you, young Jade-gale, to face the dark side, and go wah-bam, hitting that sucker right in his stupid face! Defy darkness and you’ll get to eat PUSSAY!

“So, um, you went to college, right? What did you major in?” I asked Juniper, making small talk as best I could.

“I got a basic business degree. It was super annoying to get because some people just did not give a single shit. I get why they do group projects, but it really is not at all like working a real job, trust me. In the past… whoa, has it already been six months? Yeah, I guess so. After six months at Arjeanne’s, I can tell you that group projects are nothing but bullshit and lies!” Juniper explained before pouring herself a third glass of wine.

“How about you, Y’vonne? You have that many projects in your business program?”

“No, not really, I just go to the classes I need, take notes, do the homework, take tests, and that’s it for the most part.” I lied, reiterating what one of my friend’s older sister told me about her time in college.

“Ah, lucky duck you. You’re lucky all around, even from head to toe. I mean, I’m sure you gotta work for that sexy figure, but still… ” Juniper said after she finished her third glass of wine.

Peatrice: In case you’re wondering, your body is eternally fit and sexy, and you basically don’t need to work for it at all, my little boy turned waifu.

“I… got really lucky when it comes to my genes, I guess. I don’t put in a lot of time at the gym, or whatever…”

“You know, I normally don’t get a lot of girls who want me to dress them up, and I had so much fun with you. So open, so nice, so cute, so erotic…”

“That’s, um, nice of you to say, but I’m not really, you know…” I began, my words tumbling out of my mouth as I realized Juniper was undressing me with her eyes.

“Oh god, what am I doing?” Juniper asked herself. “Y’vonne, I know you’re not from around here, but I… I’ve loved other people before, men, women, but you… just looking at you, it makes me feel so… so many weird, awkward, and amazing things! Your demeanor, your body, it’s all so… so fucking hot!“

A silence developed across the restaurant as those loud words escaped Juniper’s lips, and I immediately began looking for a way out of this… unfavorable situation.

“I need to go to the washroom, please excuse me!” I announced to Juniper as I left her alone.

I quickly made my way towards the kitchen, where I almost ran into the men’s restroom before veering towards the women’s. As I entered, I took a deep breath of lemon-scented poop-laced air around me before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And I, somehow, looked… hotter than I did a few hours ago.

Peatrice: Oh, the hardships of sexiness, I take it you’re not familiar with those, Jad. I mean, I checked out your old body, it was maybe a six, not bad, but not something that’d be turning any heads. But now… Now you’re on top of the world, screaming about how it should’ve been somebody else. But believe it or not, buddy-boy, you’re walking on air! I bet you never thought you could feel so free-ee-ee. Flying away on a wing and a prayer! Who could this sexy lady in the mirror be? Believe it or not, it’s just me! Or rather you… but then it doesn’t fucking rhyme.

“Peatrice,” I began, scowling at my own reflection as I spoke. “I have a lot of patience for insane silliness and random bullshit, but you… you are something else. You, consistently, manage to confuse and baffle me more than any other person I’ve met in my life. And my best friend made a 16 page pornographic comic with office ladies who were anthropomorphized pastries and soccer-playing teenage dinosaurs with Hispanic accents. Not anthropomorphized dinosaurs, actual dinosaurs. Dinosaurs who fucked forty-year-old cake women in their ‘donut holes.’ With scaly reptilian penises.”

Peatrice: …How in the name of holy flipping crab cakes does somebody as boss as that wind up with friends like you, somebody who refuses to masturbate? It is a crime! A crime, I tells ya! How dare you fail to nurture her sexual power!

“Sorry for being asexual, you… Look, can you help me with Juniper?” I cut to the chase, wanting to not break a gay girl’s heart.

Peatrice: Dude, the only advice I have to offer you is to get your sexy ass back out there and fuck the shit out of her. Not literally though. Scat stuff is as sexy as a dead cow. I mean, fuck a live cow if you want to have a weird time, but fucking a dead cow is like fucking a stump. And fucking a stump’s worse than masturbating by a margin of a million divided by four.

“…One of these days I’m going to bash my head open and rip you out of my brain, I swear to god,” I said as I clenched my temples.

My frustrated venting was then interrupted by a familiar face walking into the washroom door. It was, of course, Juniper. Still not ready to meet with her, I dove into the handicapped stall and locked the door.

“Sorry Juniper, but I…really need to poop,” I said as I backed up towards the toilet.

I had hoped this would buy me a moment to think, but within seconds Juniper was crawling under the restroom door. Her eyes brimming with desperation and lust as her body wiggled as quickly as her frame would let her. Before I could contemplate a way to counter her, she already rose from the floor and embraced my stunned body, wrapping her arms around me as tightly as she could. It didn’t really hurt, but it was incredibly discomforting.

“Oh, my dear sweet Y’vonne.” Juniper said as she thrust her face into my jet black hair.

“Juniper, stop! What are you doing?” I shouted at her as I tried to wiggle her off without hurting her.

“I need to be with you, Y’vonne. Your face, your scent, your body, I want everything that you are! Become one with me, please!” Juniper shouted.

I then broke free of Juniper’s grasp and pressed her arms against the wall. 

“Juniper! Shut up and listen to me!” I barked at her.

Juniper’s look of infatuation quickly changed as I glared at her, hiding none of the discomfort and frustration that I had billowing throughout my person. Her love and lust had fallen away to horror and dread as my gripped tightened and my face warped with fury. I felt her heartbeat accelerate through my hands.

I flashed back to my encounter with Gregg. How I lashed out at him, slammed his head against a window. I left him wounded, possibly disfigured, and wrapped with fear. I was a moment away from doing that with Juniper. From slamming her head against the jade tile and painting it with her blood. I could not bear to ever do that again. Not to anybody, and especially not to Juniper.

I freed Juniper of my grip before stepping back and taking a deep breath. Once I saw the horror leave her eyes, I opened up my arms to her, and we embraced each other in a hug. 

“Why, Juniper? Why?” I murmured into her ears.

“I… I never felt like this about anyone. I mean, I liked girls before, but you, I just… I feel something that makes my body go crazy whenever I’m with you. I wanted you so bad that I… I got drunk off a bottle of wine and made a fucking ass out of myself.” Juniper confessed, her face red from both alcohol and embarrassment. 

“Juniper, I’m sorry. I don’t love you. I like you, I think you’re a good person, but this… this isn’t how relationships work. You cannot force someone to love you, you cannot assume all relationships are mutual. I… I’m flattered, but I think I should get going. Goodbye.” 

I turned my back to Juniper, only for her to grab me by the shoulder. 

“Please, at least let me stay in touch with you! Because I… I want to…” Juniper said, her face shrouded by her flowing hair.

“I… Juniper, look. I lied to you. About my family, my name, my life, my major. None of it was true.” I said, turning my face away from her.

“…What? So it was all a lie? Was I just part of some sick game you were playing?” Juniper spat back as she wiped away her tears.

“…Even if I told you, you would never believe me.”

“…So you really aren’t even Y’vonne then. I fell for somebody who didn’t exist… Why do this? What did you get from this?” Juniper barked at me with a mix of sorrow and fury.

“I… I didn’t want us to become friends, I just wanted to get some clothes, but…” I stammered back, unsure of what I was doing.

“But instead you took my heart and then broke it into little tiny pieces!”

“Juniper, look, I really didn’t want this.” I said as I moved closer to her.

“What matters is what happened! And what happened is that you lied to me and now I have to deal with the fact that I almost fucked a girl whose name I didn’t even know!” Juniper lectured as she pushed me away.

“Jad,” I said just loud enough for her to hear.

“What?” She asked, her face lighting up for a moment.

“My name is Jad Novus.”

“…Get the fuck away from me, you rancid cunt!” Juniper shouted as she stormed out of the bathroom, slamming both doors as loudly as she could.

With mud on my face, I left the restroom, not even washing my hands, and returned to the table. Our food had arrived, but I didn’t so much as smell it. Instead, I grabbed my purse, and left a one-hundred-dollar bill to cover the bill and then some. After looking at the restaurant one more time, I stormed out of there and into the snowy night, where I made the trek back to my hotel room.

…At least before Peatrice chose to make conversation.

Peatrice: Wow, you are a melodramatic motherfucker, aintcha? Still, at least you didn’t give her brain damage because she freaked you the fuck out. Instead, you gave her a terrible memory that will follow her for the rest of her life. She will be unable to go and enjoy a happy relationship ever again because of you. The girl who took her heart and broke it using lies, all within the span of 8 hours. 

Peatrice: I mean, you could have just ditched her after a night of sexy fun times. It’d be great. You would’ve learned the greatest joy of womanhood, and gotten your first taste of genuine bona fide pussy juice. It tastes kinda like pink lemonade.

“Peatrice, shut your nonexistent yap up and let me deal with this shit in peace. Do you think I enjoyed doing that? I didn’t! I didn’t even want to go on this goldarn date, but you kept pushing me, and if I followed your advice! I would have lost my virginity in a restaurant restroom!” I mouthed back at Peatrice, throwing my hands up as I ran through the snowy streets.

Peatrice: Still a virgin, huh? Ya got a horny ass bitch at your beck and call and never even gave her a pity fuck? Pft, loser. 

“For the last goldarn time, I am asexual! I don’t ever plan on having sex! I think it’s gross, okay?” I barked back, this time forgetting to keep my mouth shut.

Peatrice: Fine, whatever helps you sleep tonight, Yahd-kun. Just let me know if you still think that way after playing with those holes you’ve got between your legs. If ya wanna get some toys to ease you in on it, I know some shit that’ll make you go Pon-Pon-Pon!

If I didn’t already make this abundantly clear by now, I really hate Peatrice.