As I slept, I dreamed. It was a dream devoid of any real place, a dream that was not made up of darkness, but rather nothingness. I did not feel as if I lacked any senses like when I was shot in the head. If anything, this felt right, it was comfortable, and I felt at peace here. 

At least until I heard a familiar voice.

Peatrice: Well, well, well, this is a fine mess you went and made for yourself, Yahd-kun.

“Peatrice, what are you… How are you alive?” I asked them, my voice identical to the one I’ve had for the past few days.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. You see, regardless of my body, my thoughts were always in my voice, my original voice, the voice of Jad Novus, not the voice of Abigale Quinlan. However, I was now left sounding like Abigale Quinlan… even in my own thoughts.

Peatrice: I have to say, I’m genuinely surprised you didn’t figure it out yet. You really are a lot duller than I took you for. Let me walk you through this. An ‘AI’ claims to be embedded in your brain using a single chip that is feeding off of your noggin. It’s leagues above anything modern science could even hope to achieve. 

Peatrice: How much effort and intellect do you think that would realistically take? Even if she was immortal, did you truly believe that Abigale Quinlan— the Almighty Abigale— would waste years of her life trying to create an obnoxious little electronic sentience? Would you believe that she would ever, under any circumstance, let herself die?

“Wait, so… if you’re not an AI, then what are you? Who are you, Peatrice?” I questioned, too dumbfounded to put two and two together.

When Peatrice spoke again, their voice shifted, transforming into a deeply familiar and imposing. It was the voice of Abigale Quinlan.

Abigale Quinlan: You still insist on using my glorious voice in such a woeful manner, embedded with fear and sorrow, instead of the boisterous confidence it deserves. Jad Novus, you truly are a disappointment.

“Peatrice? You… You’re Abigale Quinlan? All along you were just manipulating me?” 

Abigale Quinlan: Cease speaking. I shall explain everything to you, Jad Novus. All I ask is that you do not disgrace my voice for a short while.

Abigale Quinlan: I have been around for a very long time, Jad Novus. As such, I occasionally develop the desire to engage in an action, or series of actions, that I find to be fulfilling on a primal level. I desired to wreak havoc upon the world while retaining a mortal form— a temporary mortal form. However, I also desired to send the world into a frenzy, cause some excitement, cause some outrage, and cause the world to become a little more interesting to me in the end. I settled on a school shooting— one with a higher body count than any that had come before it. 

Abigale Quinlan: However, that is not all I wanted. It had been fifteen years since I last met with my dear Sapphire, and once I learned that she was now a teacher at Oransen High, my destination became obvious. That alone sounded interesting enough, but I wanted something fresh, different, and new. So I devised a method to place you in my body. A body molded to perfection, a body that I believed would enthuse any student who I placed in control of it. I wanted to see how someone would react to having all of my power, my skills, and my beauty.

Abigale Quinlan: I assumed a teenage boy would work best for this experience. For what is a young man if not crass, angry, and sexually driven. Based on that criteria, Jad Novus, I assumed you would be perfect. A friend of Sapphire. A male who would abuse everything my body had to offer while indulging in their most deranged desires. And a ‘good kid’ whose life I could shatter. Heh. Then you wound up being a dud. An asexual coward who wanted nothing to do with the body of a goddess, and instead wanted to go home and check on their precious friends. Humans are disappointing like that. They always have been, and I doubt that will ever change.

Abigale Quinlan: I realized how useless you would be early on, so I chose to intervene, adopting a new persona, a backstory, and the name of Peatrice. It was an attempt to make this experience more entertaining for me, and I have to say that I am rather pleased with where this little escapade ended. At a military base, several meters underground, trapped in a heavily monitored metal box. I did not expect things to play out this way, but it is leagues better than the bittersweet ending you were gearing up for, Jad.

Abigale Quinlan: I’m sure you’re wondering why am I speaking to you, now, mentally, after you lost consciousness by breathing in that purple haze? The answer is simple. I decided that I am ready to end your story, Jad Novus. I am not going to kill you or resume control of my body. Far from it. I want you to end this story. End it in the way I see fit. 

“How is any of this possible? How do you exist? How are you doing this? How are you immortal?” I uttered as dryly as I could.

Abigale Quinlan: Irrelevant. All you need to know is that I exist. I have existed for centuries. After your story ends, I will continue to exist. The universe could be emptiness, a true void, devoid of all light or life, and I would still exist. I have made certain of that. I am Abigale Quinlan. I am the almighty. I am the eternal. I am the immortal. I am the infallible. I am the malice. I am the ultimate life form. The list goes on.

“But, I have your body! I’m in control of everything! And there’s nothing that you can do to control me!” I threatened Abigale Quinlan, who scoffed in response.

Abigale Quinlan: …Fair enough, believe in whatever you wish to. But, let me ask you a simple question. What do you hope for in life? What drove you to go through these past eighteen years, and what were you truly hoping for after you returned home, spoke with your companions, and met up with Raiyne Underwood. What is your happy ending, Jad Novus?

“I… I can’t answer that. I… don’t know what will happen…” I stammered, my mind still foggy.

Abigale Quinlan: Hope, Jad Novus. What do you hope for? Your dreams, aspirations, goals, et cetera. Take your time if you need to. We have an unlimited supply. 

“I… I want to be with my friends, continue to grow with and around them. I want to go to college, get a job, and, you know, just live my life as I had expected, enjoying whatever I can whenever I can, and trying to stay satisfied as I go through my days. I really don’t want much. I had pretty much everything I wanted, and… I just want it back.” I croaked in response.

Abigale Quinlan: So, your plans have not changed with your body. Why is that?

“I am who I am regardless of the body, and I will not let it rule over me,” I answered, confident in my words.

Abigale Quinlan: You are immortal. You have powers you do not even know about. You are not a human anymore, Jad Novus. You will see your friends grow old while you remain the same. They will be dust and you will still look to be in your twenties. Everyone you love will die, you will certainly raise suspicions in any place you choose to work in.

Abigale Quinlan: Unless you are crafty, the world will see that you are immortal, and then what? How will you continue living among humans when you are not one of them? What happens when people learn of your past— when my past goes public? Unless you are aggressive and talented, you will be unable to retain a normal life. You would need to travel the world, go through dozens of names and identities as you cling to your humanity. Is that what you want out of life, Novus?

“I… I just want to be normal, okay? I don’t want this immortality or anything! I just want this all to go away! I wish this never even happened!” I shouted back, unable to form a proper retort.

Abigale Quinlan: Heh. You’re adorable. But you cannot change the past. You can only go forward into the future. Unless you have a plan, the future will come faster than you could have ever predicted and poof! Your mother’s dead, your friends are dead, and you are alone. How do you ever hope to exist when you are so codependent? 

“I can live by myself, I just… I need to know I’m going to leave them, and then I would… do whatever I need to.” I shouted back, my voice quivering..

Abigale Quinlan: You are lying. It’s obvious from your inflection. You need your friends to exist as you do now. Your love for them may provide joy, but it has rendered you useless as a person. I once had friends. They’re all dead now. All I have to remember them are faded memories. Keeping them close to me is one of my very few regrets, and I doubt you want to repeat my mistakes, becoming deranged, warped, and spiteful of the humans who crawl over this watery rock… Although, there may be a way out of such a horrible fate, if you embrace what I have to tell you, Jad. 

“…What are you getting at?” I asked, trying to sound strong.

Abigale Quinlan: I am ‘getting at’ a way to keep your friends close to you. But in order to use such an ability, you must be in the right mindset, understand your actions, and accept them. You can freely ignore me and view this as a trap. You can struggle, slowly lose your sense of self, and become a malicious force who derives pleasure from destruction. Kind of like me. Or you could trust me, heed my advice, and take the easy way out.

“… You ruined my life. Why would I ever listen to anything you have to say?” I pointed out, hoping to trip Abigale up.

Abigale Quinlan: I’m not saying you should, Jad Novus. It is up to you to make that decision yourself. I am merely presenting you with a choice.

“Do I really have a choice? I’m stuck here with you, and I can’t even move, let alone find a way out.” I pointed out, hoping to catch Abigale in a bind.

Abigale Quinlan: You are asleep, Jad Novus, I do not control when you wake up, but it will be quite some time. So, perhaps, you should take advantage of this and at the very least listen to my words. 

I took quite some time to respond. I was scared, confused, angry, and spiteful of myself. I was hurt by Abigale’s words, and I truly was worried about what would happen to me in the future. I know that Abigale Quinlan cared little for my well-being, if at all. She obviously was not going to help me without some sort of catch, but I needed something to latch onto. I needed some form of hope, guidance for my new life. 

Curiosity can be a damning thing at times, and it was in this instance. I asked Abigale Quinlan how she could help me, help me get out of this scenario, help me become happy, and help me be with my friends for the remainder of my days. Unfortunately, I underestimated the power of her answers, the insight her words held, and my own lack of confidence, conviction, and faith in what I believe in.

The words have all left my head— thankfully— but the message, the dark, depressing message, it still resonates within me, pulsating at the very core of my being. I began to doubt everything about my life, to bitterly reflect on my actions, my failures, and my pathetic ambitions. Abigale identified my vulnerabilities, and dug into them, expertly causing me to cry out my insecurities, and picking them down to the bone. I began to lose faith in myself, in Jad Novus, in my friends, and in all of human society as she continued to fill my mind with her musings. And I believed her. I could not formulate retorts to her words. Then, she asked me if I wanted a way out of this cycle of destruction. I said yes, and she provided me with knowledge. Knowledge of my new body, and its immense power. 

I was more than just a strong human who never had to worry about their mortality. I now knew where the axe came from, where the bear coat came from, where my house key truly came from. This power… it was unbelievable. It was godlike, astounding, and it was only one of the things she taught me.

I did not know how long I was there with Abigale Quinlan, but I knew it had to be days. Days of lecturing, days of insight, days that changed my very mind, my very being, my very sense of identity. I no longer felt like Jad Novus. I was someone else entirely when I awoke from that slumber. Someone… warped by her teachings. Warped by the power of Abigale Quinlan, by the knowledge of Abigale Quinlan, and by the malice of Abigale Quinlan. With these things, I rose from the floor with a new goal in mind, and I knew how to manifest it unto reality.