It was Sunday morning, and that meant going to church for the Kettler family. Eddie's mother Marian was the organist there, and his father Leo occasionally preached as a lay pastor when the regular minister was away. So it was expected of Eddie and his six year old sister Rosemary to be at Sunday school and then attend church service. The two blonde siblings sat in the pew with their father, while their mother sat at the organ next to the choir. Little Rosemary wore a cute little yellow dress, with a matching ribbon in her long blonde hair. Eddie wore a white buttoned shirt and pressed dark pants, his short hair freshly washed from his Saturday night bath and looking whiter than ever, now that the summer sun had been bleaching it out again.

The pastor, Reverend Bremer, was reading a long scripture passage in a monotone voice, and Eddie found his mind wandering, as it often did in church. He looked around at the other pews, at the various parishioners all sitting and listening. How many of them truly, fervently believed in the things the pastor was saying? Certainly some did, perhaps many. And how many were here because it was expected, because they knew they had to play a certain role, be a certain kind of character in this community. Maybe Eddie didn't think of it quite that clearly, but the idea rolled around in his head. Where did he fit in all that? What role was he playing?

His eyes stopped on the pew behind them and to the left. There sat the Waller family, with Mickie sitting along the aisle. She looked bored, but also annoyed. And there was something else of note. She was wearing a light pink dress, and some kind of strappy sandals with a slight heel. He'd never actually seen her in a dress before. She fidgeted, readjusting the short puffy sleeves, shifting her shoulders as though it were ill fitting, which it was not.

Reverend Bremer droned on. "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church..."

Mickie looked like she'd just tasted something bitter. "As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands..."

Now the look was more like she'd smelled something dead. "Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband..."

Eddie thought about having a wife, and being the head of her, telling her what to do and how to live. The thought was exhausting to him. He didn't like the idea of being in charge of anyone. His eyes drifted back to Mickie. His feelings were getting mixed up. It felt so out of place to see her in a dress, and yet, he felt she looked pretty in it. But at the same time he admired the way she was straining against it somehow, projecting her Mickieness in spite of it.

They all stood up to sing a hymn together, then sat down and settled into the sermon. Eddie began to feel drowsy. A finger poked at his thigh. He turned to little Rosemary, she was smiling up at him. She had taken the yellow ribbon out of her hair and was holding it in her outstretched palm, offering it to him as a present. He smiled back and shook his head at her. She placed the ribbon in his hand and closed his fingers around it. It felt awkward to hold, but he didn't want to upset her. He kept it in his hand for the remainder of the sermon.

After the sermon everyone lined up to shake hands with Rev. Bremer on their way out of the church. Eddie's family was right behind the Wallers in line. "Why Michelle, you look so beautiful today," the pastor complimented Mickie as he shook her hand. She mumbled a thank you and moved on. After Eddie and his family had moved through the reception and outside, he made his way to his friend.

"Why are you wearing that?" he asked, cutting right to the chase.

She rolled her eyes. "My mom says I need to start dressing more ladylike. 'You're becoming a young woman'," she impersonated her mother, using an exaggerated voice. "'You need to start dressing like one.' It's making me itch all over."

She paused. "I'd rather wear what you're wearing."

Eddie looked down at his clothes. "This dumb stuff? Why?"

"I dunno. Anyway, what's with the ribbon?"

Eddie realized he was still holding Rosemary's yellow ribbon. "Um, my sister gave it to me, I don't know why."

"Suits you," she said smiling. "Hey, I'm leaving for camp this afternoon, so I won't be around this week."

"Oh already?" Eddie felt a pang, he didn't really want to go a week without his friend. "Well, have fun I guess."

"Gotta be better than this dump of a town. Although it's all girls there, so it could get a little annoying."

"Doesn't sound so bad. Yeah, it'll be better than this place."

"Well, I gotta go home and get out of these ridiculous clothes. See you next week."

+++++

It was customary for the Kettler family to have a big midday meal on Sundays after church. Eddie and Rosemary watched some cartoons while their mother cooked, and then the four of them sat down to a feast of baked ham, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

"Eddie," his father began, "now that you're starting junior high in the fall, you need to start thinking about which sports you want to go out for. There's football in the fall, wrestling in the winter, and track in the spring. You don't have to do all of them, but we need to get a plan together."

"I know, Dad," Eddie responded quietly, staring down at his plate.

"You don't sound very excited about it."

"I want to do it, it's just..." Eddie struggled to articulate his reluctance.

"It's just what?"

"Nothing, Dad, I'll get excited, I just need to think more about it."

"Sometimes I think you need to do less thinking and more doing. You need to learn to be more confident, more decisive. Now, why don't you give me an answer right now - shall we sign you up for the football team?"

The bit of ham in Eddie's mouth lost all its flavor, an anxiety rising up his throat and onto his tongue. He had nothing against football, he watched it on TV sometimes with his dad. But the thought of suiting up in all the pads, the locker room banter, being judged on your aggressiveness - it all added up to a formless dread, something he couldn't express to himself, let alone his father. An idea suddenly formed, a deflective move that might take the pressure off him.

"Well, I might like to do it, if Mickie and me could do it together..."

Some mixture of shock and incredulousness formed on the faces of both his mother and father.

"What kind of nonsense is that?" his father blurted. "You know that's preposterous!"

"Why?" Eddie asked, finding a little confidence from the indignation he felt. "She's really good at football!"

"Eddie!" his mom exclaimed. "You know that's not possible! Girls can't play football! Anyway, Michelle needs to start growing up and focusing on other things."

"I don't see why growing up has to be like that..." Eddie muttered.

"Well, you're going to have to learn," his father said, trying to contain his disappointment. "It's time for you to start acting like a man, and football is a great way to help you get there. Can I count on you to go out for the team?"

Eddie knew where this conversation would end up, so he gave up preemptively. "Yes Dad," he said with defeat.

"Good. You'll be glad you did, I'm sure of that." The rest of the meal was finished in silence.