After a weekend trip to visit relatives across the state, Eva felt confident in the thoroughness of the job the talisman had done. Yes, the change in memories hadn't affected Rosemary and Martha, but it had extended at least as far as Elk Bluffs, where her relatives lived. They treated her as a girl who had always been a girl, and luckily none of them were much younger than Eva. Her second cousin Vickie, who was around her age, even brought up the time they had made clothes for their dolls together a few years ago. This time around they practiced hair styles on each other, modeled each other's clothes, and talked about boys. Eva had a grand old time and was sad to head back home at the end of the weekend. But school was starting back up on Monday, so late Sunday afternoon the family piled into the station wagon and drove back home.

Monday morning started bright and early, as Eva wanted time to get her look just right for the first day of school. She was nervous for her first venture into broader society as a girl. But she took solace in the fact that all her classmates would be experiencing their first day of junior high too, so it would be a new thing for everyone, and they'd probably all be a bit nervous. She was confident everyone would remember her as Eva, and she had her new memories to rely on, so it would be ok.

She picked out a frilly lavender dress that was very feminine. A bit overly formal for school, perhaps, but she wanted to feel special on this important day. In her mind it was like a "coming out", and she spent a long time on her hair, getting the braid just right. This was a special day for Mike too, and she wanted to look her best for him, as well as for herself.

The junior high school was in a different building than the grade school, a little further from their house. Marian gave her daughter a ride, not because it was too far to walk, but more as a ceremonial gesture to mark a momentous day. After dropping Rosemary off at the grade school, they pulled up in front of the junior high building, and Marian took a long look before Eva got out.

"My goodness, I just can't believe you're going off to junior high already. Before I know it you'll be off to college," she said, her eyes welling up.

"Mom, that's years from now! Don't cry!"

"I know honey. But you just look so grown up in your dress. You're growing up into such a beautiful young woman."

"Aww mom, now you're gonna make ME cry! I really look ok?"

"Exquisite. I think Mike's going to have to protect you from all the other boys."

Eva smiled. "Other boys? You mean there are other boys besides Mike?"

Her mother smiled back. "Now give me a hug and then run off before I start really crying." They embraced for a long moment, and once again Eva savored the soft majesty of the connection she now had with her mom. Then she gently pulled away and got out of the car and walked up to the school.

The school building loomed over her as she approached. It wasn't that much bigger than the elementary school, but it just felt so much more imposing. She was entering this new phase of her life, as a whole new person. She'd never have guessed, as she walked out of sixth grade for the last time, that she'd be entering seventh grade in a pretty lavender dress and braided hair.

As she entered the school into the large foyer area, she started to feel a bit overwhelmed. The junior high and high school shared the same building, with two wings dedicated to the high school and one to the junior high classes. Hallways went off to the left and right and straight ahead, and she suddenly realized she had no idea where she was going. Older kids were milling about, greeting each other jocularly. She felt out of place, too young - and suddenly too female. A panic engulfed her, she wanted to run and hide. She would be discovered - this had all been a weird delusion, she was Eddie in a dress, standing right in the midst of the whole school. She would be ridiculed, pilloried, laughed out of town. She froze in place, a faintness filling her head...

"Kuh-NEE-vuh!!!" she heard, snapping out of her terror. Valerie was right before her, beaming broadly. "We're seventh graders, can you believe it??!!?" Eva blinked and looked blankly at her friend. "Oh my gosh, Eva, what's the matter? Are you ok?"

"I just... I got overwhelmed and... I didn't know where to go and..."

"Oh honey, you're scared! Hey, it's ok, I'm here, and Patsy and Ronda, and all your other friends. It's gonna be fine!" She took Eva's hands and looked at her with a benevolent smile.

"Thanks Vallerina, I don't know, I just felt out of place, like everyone would see I'm a big pretender..."

"Oh come on honey, we're all pretending we're big kids now. But before you know it we will be!"

"Thanks Val, you always make me feel better."

"Well I'm glad. And oh my gosh, you look so so pretty! Mike better watch out with all these boys around!"

Eva chuckled, finally lightening up. "That's what my mom said!"

"Well your mom's a smart lady! Come on, you have Mrs. Mitchell for home room, right?"

"Yes."

"Me too! I'll take you there - come with me!"

Eva followed Valerie down the hallway to the left, still a bit unnerved but lightening up a little by putting her faith in her friend. Soon they arrived at the home room and took two seats next to each other. Eva looked around the room and took stock of the other students. Some were kids she'd known as Eddie, and some were unfamiliar, as pupils from the nearby small town of Norville were bused into Prairie Falls for junior high.

She turned to her right and noticed Danny sitting in the row next to her. She caught him looking at her, then quickly looking away. She felt a strange pang - aside from Mickie, Danny had probably been Eddie's closest friend, although Eddie had never felt particularly close to anyone besides Mickie. But now the dynamic was all different. Eva was one of the "popular girls", and Danny was a quiet boy who was particularly shy around girls. She noticed his cheek turning red as she looked at him, and so she averted her eyes and looked in another direction. Her glance then landed on another awkward boy named Reggie, who was often teased for being an "egghead". She felt a deep sympathy for these boys. They, like Eddie, seemed unfit for the demands of masculinity that society expected of them. Were they like he had been, secretly wishing they could cross over to the feminine side? Or was there something else going on, some other gray area that they inhabited, some totally different mismatch that characterized them? She felt an obligation to understand such things better. After all, she had a responsibility now. She had to pass on the talisman to someone else. How in the world could she discreetly determine who the right candidate would be? The burden of it felt overwhelming.

Her musings were interrupted when she heard the teacher call her name for attendance. "Eva Kettler?" she called out.

"Here!" Eva responded. Eva Kettler. That was her name, her real name. And now it was being announced in front of everyone, and she was answering with her feminine voice, sitting there in her lavender dress. A wave of pride and contentment washed through her, and she forgot about worrying over her responsibility for a bit.

Eva's morning classes went smoothly, she was pretty much the same kind of student she'd been as Eddie - not the top of the class but reasonably good. She relied on friends to help her get to her first couple classes, but by the third she was feeling more confident about figuring out where she needed to go. No one batted an eye over how she was dressed, and to everyone she was just Eva who had always been Eva. By lunchtime the anxiety of the morning had faded and she was fully enjoying the excitement of being a big-girl junior high student.

Waiting in line in the lunchroom, she scanned the room for a certain someone she'd not yet seen all day. There was no sign of him, but as she got her tray she noticed Dawn sitting at an open table.

"Hi Dawn, ok if I sit here with you?"

"Eva! Of course, have a seat! It's so good to see you!" Dawn smiled at her in an overly eager way, and between that and some reactions she'd gotten from other kids, Eva started to realize one thing that was quite different. As Eddie, she'd found it quite easy to blend in and kind of disappear. But as Eva, she had a certain status. The other kids looked up to her, saw her as being part of some upper tier in the hierarchy. She made a mental note to try to not abuse that power.

"So Dawn, how do you like seventh grade so far? Can you believe we're really here?"

"I know, it's hard to believe! It's a little scary honestly. But I like my classes so far."

"Yeah, I was really nervous at first, but it's getting a little easier. And right after lunch I have math with Mr. Bennett - he's supposed to be easy going."

"Oh cool, I have that class too!!"

"Yay! We can be math buddies!"

Just then they were joined by Patsy, Valerie, and Ronda. A chorus of nickname greetings flew through the air. "Vallerina! Peppermint Patsy! Eva Kuh-nee-vuh! Rice-a-rondi!" They all sat down and took to assessing how the school lunch compared to the elementary school version.

"Hey girls," Eva cut in. "We need to come up with a good nickname for Dawn!"

The other girls traded glances, sizing up the situation. Granting Dawn a nickname would be essentially an invitation to their clique, something they hadn't explicitly discussed. Eva immediately sensed she may have breached protocol. Valerie would probably be supportive, as she and Dawn went way back. But would Patsy and Ronda be willing to welcome in a bookworm like Dawn?

After an awkward moment, Patsy spoke up. "Yeah we do! How about Delta Dawn?" Eva felt a sense of relief.

"Ugh, I hate that song!" Ronda chimed in. "How about Crack of Dawn?"

"Ooh gross, that sounds dirty!" Valerie objected.

"Hey, I know!" Eva offered. "Dawn Quixote!"

Dawn raised an eyebrow approvingly. "I kinda like that one." It appealed to her literary leanings, even though she'd not yet tackled a book of that size.

"Dawn Quixote it is, then!" Patsy declared, lifting her milk carton up as a toast. They all bumped cartons, and Dawn's mind reeled at the thought she might be publicly joining this elite group.

After taking a swig of her milk, Eva felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Mike beaming down at her. She beamed back.

"Hey there cute stuff. Mind if we join you?" Troy was on the other side of the table standing next to Patsy. The two boys sat down, Mike sliding in next to Eva. Her heart pitter pattered - she was sitting with her boyfriend in public. It felt momentous. She felt that somehow the vibe in the room had shifted slightly, and when she looked around she noticed other kids glancing at their table, and whispering to each other. Apparently Mike Waller sitting down next to Eva Kettler was a newsworthy event.

"How's your first day as a schoolgirl?" Mike whispered in her ear. She blushed, partly a bit nervous that anyone might overhear, but also a little flushed at his warm breath against her ear.

"Sweet nothings already?" Patsy giggled at them, as Troy reached around her back and squeezed her. Mike took a queue from his friend and put his arm around Eva. The flush she was feeling got warmer, until a familiar voice rang out from across the table.

"Hello there Mikey." It was Stacy Larson, standing behind Troy holding her tray, looking across at Mike and Eva with a flirtatious smile.

"Oh hey Stacy," Mike responded.

"It was good seeing you the other day. I hope you won't get too cozy now," she purred.

"Uh yeah, sure, it was good seeing you too, Stacy," he stuttered. "Um, enjoy your lunch."

She tilted her head and gave him a sweet smile, then turned to find another table, but not before shooting Eva a split second stink eye.

"What was that all about?!" Eva whispered to him.

"What do you mean, it wasn't about anything," he whispered back.

"She said she saw you the other day!"

"Everything ok over there?" Patsy asked with a half smirk.

"Of course, everything's fine," Eva said quickly, suddenly embarrassed. It felt awkward for a moment but soon the usual banter returned and they all finished up their lunch.

As there was still 15 minutes of lunch period before the next class, Eva asked Mike to come out to the school yard for a brief walk. She guided him to a spot out of earshot from the other kids.

"Mike, what did Stacy mean about seeing you the other day?"

"It was no big deal, I just ran into her at the park."

"She sure does act like she still thinks you two have some kind of thing."

"I told you Eva, you're the only one for me."

"I don't know, I just got this feeling, like... I don't know, like you think she's pretty or something."

"Well sure she's pretty - that doesn't mean anything."

"You never used to care about pretty girls."

"Well that's before this..." he made a sweeping gesture down his body, "happened. You know it changed how I feel about that."

"I guess I thought it just changed how you felt about me," Eva confessed, feeling a little shaky.

"Look Eva, I'm a boy now, and when I look at girls, well now I notice some of them are pretty. But I don't feel about them like I feel about you. Anyway, you're the prettiest one of all."

"I just don't like the way I'm feeling. Like I'm really mad at Stacy, it's a feeling I've never felt before, and it makes me kind of mad at you too, and I know it's not right, I just can't seem to help myself, I - "

"Eva!" He grabbed her by the shoulders gently. "It's ok, it's a normal thing. It's called jealousy."

"I just never felt this way before. I just wish I was the only one..."

"You ARE the only one. The only one for me. But I can't help it if I think some other girls are pretty. I'm not doing that to hurt you. Listen, tell me the truth. Do you think Troy is nice looking?"

"Troy? Why Troy?" she objected. "He's with Patsy, and she's my friend!"

"I don't mean do you want to be with him. I mean, do you think he's nice to look at?"

"Well sure he looks fine, what's that have to do with this? I'm not thinking about how other boys look."

"Now think about Augie Lebspepper, how he looks."

"Eww, Augie? Why him? He's gross."

"So who's more handsome, Troy or Augie?"

"Stop it, you're trying to trick me!"

"So there's no difference? You don't get any different feeling when you think about them?"

Eva didn't want to go there, but she forced herself. She pictured Troy, his chiseled jaw, broad easy smile, strong forearms. She didn't want to feel that way about her friend's boyfriend, but she couldn't deny she found him handsome. Then she pictured Augie. Pudgy, early onset acne, crooked glasses and kind of greasy hair. She felt a bit of a repulsion, quite different from the sympathy she'd felt toward him as Eddie. She felt shame at the feeling, and also realized Mike was right. She could appreciate other boys' looks without threat to Mike, and she needed to afford the same right to him.

"Ok, ok, I get it. You're right. I shouldn't be jealous. And I'll try to be better. You swear, you really don't want to be with Stacy?"

"I swear on my heart, and on the talisman."

"Well when you put it that way," she smiled, "I guess I'll take your word for it."

After lunch it was math class, which was a breeze, and that was followed by Home Ec. Eva looked around at the room full of girls, marveling at the thought that as Eddie she would have been in shop class. Instead of learning to make bookshelves or use a hand saw, she'd now be learning to make pot roast or bake bread instead. Mickey had railed at the idea of being stuck in such a class, but Eva realized she'd much rather learn about household and family things than pounding nails and drilling holes. It made her feel close to her mother, and that gave her a warm feeling.

After school she wanted to stay and watch Mike at football practice, but she knew her mother was wanting to pick her up from her first big day at junior high, and she couldn't deprive her of that. So she waited dutifully out on the sidewalk, in her lavender dress for all to see, and soaked up a little late summer afternoon sun. Even the warmth of the sun felt different to her now - she was less closed off to the universe, and feelings and sensations could flow in and out of her more freely.

Marian pulled up, with Rosey in the back seat, and beamed preciously at her lovely big-girl daughter. Eva sat into the front seat sideways, careful not to muss up her dress as she did so. Marian was practically in tears.

"Mom are you ok?"

"Oh yes, I'm wonderful honey, just a bit overwhelmed. You're just so grown up, so ladylike, I can't get over how much you've changed this summer."

"You're telling me," Eva smirked.

"Anyway, I want to hear all about your big day! Tell me about it!"

"It was fine mom, I'll fill you in while we're making supper. Is it OK if I help you? We learned something in Home Ec that I'd like to try."

"Of course, that sounds wonderful!"

So they fixed a lovely meal and Eva filled her in on all the details of the day, and tried out the new julienne method of cutting carrots she'd learned in class. When her father got home she took him his drink in the living room, and soon he and Rosemary joined them at the table for supper.

"Well well well," Leo grinned, "I heard through the grapevine that a certain little girl just started first grade today! I wonder who it could be?"

Rosemary giggled. "You know it was me Daddy! We got to play Red Rover at recess!"

"Well is that so? And what other sorts of things did you learn?"

"Our teacher read from the Little Red Story Book - we're gonna learn to read all by ourselves! And it's all about Tom and Betty and little Susan!"

"Well what do you know - that's the same story book your big sister used to learn how to read. And I remember she was sweet and smart and cute just like you, when she started first grade! So if you have any trouble you just ask her, she knows all about it."

"You'll help me learn how to read, sissy?"

"Why of course, Rosey," Eva smiled, "I'm an old pro at it, you know."

"And I also heard," Leo continued, "that another certain little girl is not so little any longer, and has moved up to a fancy school for older ladies!"

"Dad!" Eva chortled. "I'm not that old!"

"Well I'm glad to hear that. It's good to know I'll still have my two little girls for a little while longer. So how did it feel to be a little fish in the big pond, instead of queen of the grade school?"

"I was a little overwhelmed at first, but by the end of the day I was starting to get the hang of it. It was good to be with my friends, all going through the same thing."

"Now there's a good attitude. It'll feel natural in no time. Adapting to change is just a part of life. I reckon you're already pretty good at it."

"Yeah, I 'spect so," Eva smiled to herself. "I do feel like my life has changed a lot lately."

"Mmhm," Marian said. "You go to bed all innocent one night, and the next morning you wake up and you've got a boyfriend."

"Mom!" Eva objected.

Leo smiled. "So this boyfriend of yours, is he going to be playing football?"

"Yes, Dad," Eva lit up, "they're saying Mike and Troy are gonna be quarterback and running back, they just don't know which will be which!"

"And how about you, peach," Marian asked, "are you planning to try out for the cheerleading squad?"

Eva frowned. "I don't know, Mom. Patsy wants me to. But I'd rather just watch and enjoy the game. Anyway, I wanna play in the halftime marching band, I think that would be fun."

"Well I'm glad Mike will be playing," Leo said. "Gives us someone to root for."

Eva felt an unease rising in her. "Dad..."

"Yes, honey?"

"Do you ever wish it was me out there, you know, playing football?"

Leo took on a puzzled look. "You? Why would I think that?"

"I don't know, I just... well, I guess I wonder if, you know... well, dads like to have sons, and..."

"And?" Leo remained confused.

"Well, I mean... don't you ever wish you had a boy, instead of two girls? Someone you could play catch with, teach him how to shoot a gun, how to fix a car, stuff like that? Don't you ever feel... disappointed?"

The furrow in Leo's brow smoothed out, and his mouth widened into a broad smile. "Oh punkin, let me tell you a little story. Before you were born, I dreamed of having a son. For all the reasons you just mentioned. And then your mother became pregnant, and I thought, finally I'll have that son. And then the day came, and the doctor came out into the hall and announced, 'it's a girl!' And I thought, well OK, this is fine, we'll see what this is like. And we brought you home, and your mom was so tired, and she handed you to me, so she could rest. And you looked up at me with those cute little eyes of yours, and I fell in love right on the spot. And by the end of that night, I thought, this could not be any more perfect. And then you grew into such a sweet little thing, and you filled your mother and me with such joy. And I thought, well we'll get our son the next time around. But you know what? By the time your mother was pregnant again, you know how I felt? I thought, I hope we have another little girl who's just as sweet and wonderful as our little Eva!" He turned to Rosemary. "And then that's just what happened!!"

Rosemary clapped and giggled.

Eva's eyes filled with tears. "Do you really mean that Dad? You don't mind only having girls?"

Her father stood up and came over and bent down in between his two daughters, draping his arms around both their shoulders. "I mean it from the bottom of my heart. This is how it's meant to be. I couldn't be more proud of my two little angels. And I couldn't be happier."

Eva was full on crying now, which of course got Marian going too, and she got up also and came over for a family group hug. For Eva it was like the last piece clicking into place. She knew the change was the best thing for her, the best thing for Mike, even the best thing for her mother and sister. But she'd retained some guilt about taking her father's son away from him. Only now could she see that being Eddie was never going to fulfill anything for her father. He wanted a happy child, boy or girl. For better or worse, Eddie was never going to fully be that. But as Eva, she could be a daddy's girl. This change had brought her so much closer to her mother, but maybe it would bring her closer to her father too.