The locks tightened around his heart, clinking and strangling. He put a hand on his heart and grasped it tightly, making sure to lock his emotions properly and to not let his guilt take over. Gritting his teeth, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He gazed at Jodie with dead eyes and continued.
"We should prioritize to get money, we need to feed the orphans." The chains of his heart rattling shut with a thunk. "You can't damage your hands right? That's okay, you can continue helping like you've always been. I'll try to apologize to Mister Klaus and snag a—."
"It's stressful right?" Jodie sat on a bed and urged Ruben to do the same.
"What do you mean?" Ruben said confused, as he took a seat next to Jodie.
"You're very tired right? It's okay." Jodie said as she gently caressed Ruben's hair, twirling the hair around her fingers. Then she gently pushed his head down and rested it on her lap. "It's painful right? You can tell me all about it," she slowly whispered to his ear. Then as if his tightened chest suddenly found room to breathe in, the tightly wrapped coils around his heart began to unwind.
"I... just didn't expect for anything to happen like this..." His emotions started to overflow, his defenses started to chink with holes. "I... always fail at everything... It didn't have to be me but it was me. I... became the caretaker... I was afraid. What if I made a mistake? What if I failed? What if someone died because of me?"
"It's okay, let it all out."
"When he died... I had to get a job... And even when I got my tiva contract... I didn't really deserve it. Why did I get it? Why was it me? How am I supposed to be a tiva... Mister Klaus gave me the job because he cared... But what did I do? I spat on his good will, I tarnished his good name, I'm not even human... And even after all of that what did I think of? Rita. Love. Myself. I really just cared about myself..."
"It's okay to cry." Jodie said, gritting her teeth.
"How am I supposed to take responsibility when... the next Midnight Union Festival is close... I haven't even created a scarf, nor have I talked to Rita... She'll be stolen from me in a few days..." He bit his lip. "There's... things that are even more important than me." Then a wet droplet falls into his cheek, making him catch a glimpse of Jodie's moist eyes.
"Don't... look up," Jodie said in a shaky voice, urging his head to face away from her with her index finger.
"..." Ruben looked away with guilt in his eyes.
"Don't look up, okay...? Don't you think you have something to do...?" Jodie said, wiping her tears away and smiling, urging him to go after Lyrica and Ergo.
"...You're right ...I shouldn't just stay here," Ruben stood up and shot her a guilty glance as he left the orphanage. "I'm going to find them and... apologize."
Soon enough, fifth bell rang. It was past noon, and the sun was starting to set as everyone started to go home with the market closing down. It was crowded, everywhere you looked was filled with people. He looked around, the majority of people had hair color varying from the colors of the rainbow.
He started knocking at the doors of his neighbors, asking if they saw a beastkin girl with white hair and a boy with brown hair.
"Uh... well I think I saw them near the wel—." Ruben ran off cutting the guy, at the corner of his eyes, he found a boy with brown hair and a girl with white hair and ran after them. "Hey wait!" He grabs the boy by the shoulder.
"Huh?" The boy sounded, confused.
"Oh... sorry, my mistake," he mistook the boy for someone else. I'd look like a lunatic if I just ran around screaming their names... I don't want that...
He searched the alleys, streets, and the space between the houses of the residential district. But he couldn't find them. Where are they... I might need help finding them...
He went northward towards the pier passing through the guild building and the craftsmen's alley, asking if anyone saw the kids and asking for Belri and Kian's whereabouts to the fishermen.
"Uh... don't know nothin' bout the children but Belri an' Kian said they'd go to a bar somewhere near the plaz—." The fisherman said before getting cut off as Ruben ran off and said his thanks.
He ran south and ended up in front of a fountain, panting heavily. The plaza was centered at the heart of the city, in front of the massive guild branch building surrounded by thick walls. He looked around, bars are normally located near plazas because of the amount of traffic and people that come near ,almost ensuring that people would stop by if they were feeling parched.
He looked around, and found a bar. He went in and scanned the people inside, the children weren't there as well as Belri or Kian. He slammed the door shut and left and went inside another bar. They weren't there. He opened the door to another bar and went inside.
Oddly enough, the dusty floor full of crumbs and grime seemed so weird to him. It wasn't clean. It was weird, did he get used to the cleanliness and tidiness of the floor that fast? It was nostalgic. He was about to lock his heart again, but the voice that he heard behind him stopped him.
"Hey Ruben ya good?" The concerned voice of a friend asked him. It was Kian.
"Y-yeah... maybe... not at all," he explained the situation to the both of them.
"Tch. Let's go ta work, we need ta find em." Belri replied, annoyed but still willing to help.
"Aight, I'll go an' search the market," Kian said.
"Then I'll file a request to the guild, it'll be easier to find em that way," Belri said.
"...Thanks," Ruben replied, the shackles in his heart unwinding. Damn it all if they call me crazy, why do I have to feel shame, I'll scream to the top of my lungs!
He ran outside, sprinting towards the center of the plaza. "LYRICAAAAAAA!!! ERGOOOOOOOOO!!!" He yelled, everyone stopped to look at him, feeling the watchful gazes of many. He screamed and continued screaming, he ran east towards the residential district in the direction of the orphanage not bothered by all of the gazes boring into him. "CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEE!!?"
"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!!?" He screamed until his voice gave out. His legs dropped near the well as he gasped for breath. He was exhausted. Then with a grimaced expression, he slams his fist against the well. "Did I fail at my responsibilities again...? Did they get taken away...? Where are they damn it!" His heart started to shackle itself, no damn it! He broke the chains, I know that that's not the answer.
He started panting with rage, at himself. Self hate. Can't I even do anything right...? He took a deep breath to calm himself. I just need to keep searching for them... Then no one can blame me that I didn't do what I was supposed to... Right...? No... it's still my... fault. It's my fault.
"Get yourself together lad," an old chunky woman said behind him. It was Bifa. "They're safe an' sound."
"...Are they okay?"
"Heard from Klaus that ya won't be gettin' new commissions from now on."
"...Yeah."
"Heard that ya also blamed em for it huh? Leaving the workshop and slamming the doors."
"..."
"Then these two little children runs out, crying. Ya'r fault too? Heard that you an' Jodie had an argument. Why, feeling the pressure of feeding a dozen mouths? That their lives hang on ya? That it's ya'r fault if they die of starvation?"
"Yeah? And why are you telli—... Sorry."
"And then what, Rita? The girl, is that why ya'r so angry? Why you're so selfish? Because of the Midnight Union Festival next week?"
"...Why are you telling me all of this? Don't you think I already know them, that I'm already tired of hearing my problems?! All of these thin—."
"Oh shut up lad! The world doesn't revolve around ya, everyone has problems just like ya. Take some tough love from me and listen. Ya can't keep juggling all three of these problems on ya'r own. Get rid of one of em. Stop lovin' Rita. It's for the best lad."
"But what about me? Shouldn't I be happy too?! I already take care of the orpha—."
"Stop talking before ya say somethin' you'll regret son! The lives on ya'r hands are bigger than ya'r heart. Do the right thing."
"Let me speak! Let me say my own tho—." Ruben gets cut off, putting a hand on his swollen cheek. Bifa slapped him.
"I told ya to shut up. It's not about what ya feel, but what ya should do. Ya should take care of the orphans, if a single one of em dies it's ya'r fault. Ya'r responsibility."
"..." Ruben stays silent, looking at Bifa.
"Remember, the wind won't move ya forward if ya go against it."
"But even if I want to... I just can't help it..." Ruben spills his heart out, fully removing the shackles. "Why does it have to be so hard...?"
"That's just life son. Sometimes ya need to pick, ya shouldn't run away from ya'r guilt son. Face it head on."
"Let me see them again, I need to apologize." Ruben said, grasping his heart tight. But the chains can't be heard anymore, his eyes were filled with a burning determination.
"Follow me lad," Bifa nodded at the young man's determination.
Arriving inside Bifa's house about a minute's walk away, he took a seat near the table sitting across Lyrica and Ergo.
Gib banana ?
Dunununun! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ
very tasty chapter
Tasty? (٥⁀▽⁀ )
It was a nice chapter.
Thanks! (٥⁀▽⁀ )