She has stopped throwing up after every meal, though it wasn’t because of the food’s quality. No after the mines she would have eaten anything, she had eaten anything, but her stomach couldn’t handle it. So these last weeks she has fought to keep down her lunch. She has washed her hair and someone has plated it in two long braids that swing as Bevin carries her. She still had a hard time walking sometimes, her legs were still thin but she could see they weren’t as twig like as they had been when she got there. For the most part she could walk around camp so long as she could lean on Bevin and take breaks, stumbling to steady herself on tent poles and supply carts.

So she spent her days with Bevin whenever she could, helping make the food and stitching up clothes when she couldn’t. Elexis was peppering her with questions everyday about how she had survived so she had worked her way from the mines back to The House. Her heart broke whenever she talked about Odessa and Finley and Violet, but she wanted to remember them, and their kindness in such a dark time. Elexis hasn’t said a word about Anatia yet but she has spotted her talking to a tan skinned man, and spotted him watching her when she wasn’t looking. Like she was a light in a dark sky, a bit of hope in a world of shadows.

“And who is he?” she asked, pointing at a large man standing near some wagons watching as rebels unloaded what looked like crates of supplies. She had asked Bevin to help her learn who everyone was, what they did. So far this consisted of her pointing at people and him explaining who they were and what they did. She had wanted to ask about the boy that had been playing outside her tent the other day but she didn’t know how to ask. Though now that she thought about it, what did the children of the Rebel camp do?

“That's Rudien, he’s our head of supplies, he’s in charge of keeping track of shipments of food and clothing.” Bevin explained. They were sitting on a log bench around one of the fires in camp and she breathed in the crisp breeze coming off the mountains. She looked around again looking for someone else to ask about. She spotted a man who looked vaguely familiar, she’d probably seen him around camp before.

“What about him?” Bevin looked where she had pointed.

“Oh him? That's Korvis, he was a guard for the Hynopae family, I guess he still is.” Bevin said with a shrug. “He was there the day they tried to kill Elexis, he was part of the group of guards that helped get her out actually.”

“Really!” she had never met anyone else who had been there on those nights, other than Elexis, but it was different. This man looked to be in his mid thirties, he must have been in his twenties when it happened. She remembered that night so well but it was colored by the perspective of a child, everything so large and terrifying. She couldn’t imagine how he would have seen things. Or did everything see things like a child would when they were as terrified as she had been?

“What are you thinking about?” Bevin asked 

“Nothing.” she chirped and she blinked realizing she had been staring at the man, or the place he had been a few seconds ago. Or was it minutes? She looked around but she couldn’t spot him. 

“He probably went to help Rudien with the crates of weapons.” Bevin said, seeming to see the question in her face. She looked round seeing if she could find any other older looking men that might have been part of the group that had gotten Elexis out. Instead her eyes caught a bit of scarlet, harsh against the background of the forest. She blinked and realized that the blur of scarlet was a girl with fiery red hair falling down her back. It couldn’t be, but she stood on wobbling legs

“Ana! Ana it's you!” she cried as she stumbled on quivering legs half falling as she moved for her sister.

“Wha-?” The girl started as Lythian reached her and she turned. But it wasn’t Anatia, it was just some confused and annoyed looking rebel. Bevin walked up to stand beside her, a sad smile on his face as he explained.

“Lythian, this is Vasa, she's one of the rebels that joined five years ago after the raid of Alaide.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Lythian said with an apologetic smile.

“So am I.” the girl-Vasa said before walking away, anger in her eyes, and Lythian had a feeling that they had been speaking about different things.

“Don’t take it personally, Vasa’s touchy about it. Her brother and sister were both burned alive in the raid. She tried to get as many out as she could but they barely made it out.”

“Oh.” she was silent then, looking down at her bare feet, shame creeping into her heart. All that time she had hidden, all that time she had tried to ignore them. All that time they had been burning and killing and torturing her people. And she had done nothing. She didn’t blame the girl for being angry. 

But maybe- maybe she could make it up to the girl-Vasa, to all of them. Maybe if she worked hard now, if she stood with them, fought with them- maybe she might one day earn their forgiveness.

She turned to Bevin.

“I want to help.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to help the rebels.”

“What- how-?”

“However I can, but I need to help.”

“You need to get better.” Bevin said a beseeching look in his eyes.

“I can do both.”

“If you get hurt Elexis will-”

“I will protect you from her.” Bevin looked at her and after a moment he gave a rescinded sigh.

“Fine, but nothing too difficult.” she smiled and he continued, “Maybe you can help Lady Sasha with the children.” She couldn’t believe her luck, she felt like she could fly out of her skin.

“That would be perfect!”