Chapter 12
“W-wait, S.A, where are you going?!” McWanda yelled in shock upon seeing the hamster hitman abruptly leap into the thick snow, where he promptly began to dig beneath its surface and disappear from view.
“His plan, I guess,” Logan yawned as he stooped down to pick up the collapsed Dwight. “What should we do with our big-boobed friend here? He’s not looking too hot.”
“I-I don’t know, you guys maybe keep walking down the mountain and I’ll hold this guy off,” the clown girl replied, readying her spatula-sword in preparation to take another volley. “Gosh, I’m shivering like an unformed beef patty on a grill.”
“I feel like I’m going to drop myself any second, but I’ll try,” the large dragon mumbled drowsily before turning to continue down the steep slope.
Another near-sonic snowball pelted the snowbank next to the group, causing McWanda to grit her teeth as she dug her soaking-wet clown shoes into the deep precipitation, forcing herself to advance towards their opponent.
“M-mama?” the mint-haired gamer murmured sleepily, his large, anime-like eyes looking up at Logan as he was slowly carried down the mountain’s face. “I-I’ll shovel the driveway later, it’s too cold…”
“Dwight, bro, your titties are kind of making this hard,” the trembling reptile stammered as he was making little progress away from their pursuer, the heavy breasts of the female avatar now feeling like anchors to the normally-strong dragon.
“Stay still and let me make snowmen out of you!” White Christmas giggled as he glided along the snowy slope, reloading his bazooka before firing another salvo of packed snow. Wanda attempted to swat the high-speed projectile, but ended up taking the snowball to her stomach, sending her flying backwards and into the bank behind them.
“Ughh this cold is slowing me down!” the clown girl cried as she clutched her now-bruised stomach, only to be silenced as another snowball promptly hit her in the face.
“Crap, Wanda! I’m coming!” Logan roared as he began to shuffle himself and Dwight back to their position.
“Ahahah yes, fools, come one, come all! Let me bury you in snow and become a part of this mountain!” White Christmas continued to cheer as he took aim from his safe position some distance away from his opponents. Just as he was about to fire the next volley, however, the blue-skinned man suddenly gasped and began to clutch his throat.
Dwight, Logan, and Wanda all watched in amazement as the leotard-wearing assailant desperately began to grasp around his neck as a guttural choking sound emitted from his lips. In the thick blizzard, the trio could spot something tiny standing behind their distressed foe. It was Mister S.A, where the hamster had managed to burrow through the snow in order to reach White Christmas without him noticing, and proceeded to utilize the one weapon that he had left: a length of fishing wire.
“Shhhh go to sleep, go to sleep,” the veteran hitman whispered as he pulled harder on the thin string that he’d sneakily pulled around White Christmas’ neck, strangling the snowball-shooting soldier as he slowly began to fall to his knees, gasping and retching as the blue, icy man struggled for breath. His eyes blinking as he threatened to pass out, the Kyroshi captain, in a final act of defiance, aimed his “snow-zooka” at a section of snow hanging off of the mountain’s rocky peak, which was around 200 feet up. Firing another super-charged iceball, the projectile smashed into loose snow right on target.
“Um, Mister S.A…” McWanda mumbled, her eyes widening as a shadow grew over the group. “You might want to start running!!”
From behind his sunglasses, the hamster hitman’s beady eyes moved to the seemingly random spot that White Christmas had fired at, which was now a tidal wave of snow advancing towards their position. Laughing as Mister S.A released the fishing wire around his neck, the ice-haired man began to slide back up the mountain and away from the advancing avalanche, his shot having hit its target and started a chain reaction.
“Bye guys, you almost got me there!” White Christmas said cheerfully as he sailed out of the way to safety, were the suit-clad rodent immediately began to rush back down the mountain’s peak towards where McWanda, Dwight, and Logan were. Seeing the danger, the blue dragon fruitlessly tried to scamper downhill in the same direction, but the humongous wall of snow was upon them in seconds. Only semi-conscious from Hypothermia, Dwight sleepily looked upon the wave of white as it loomed over the group of 4, where the last thing that he could hear before being buried alive was McWanda’s shrill, desperate scream.
Dwight dreamed of cold. Overwhelming, bone-chilling, body-numbing cold. His heart beating slowly in the frigid darkness, with his mind relatively calm given the circumstances, the 35-year-old gamer wondered if this was the end of the road for him as he could vaguely feel his massively-busty feminine form become immobilized under hundreds of pounds of freezing snow. As his mind danced in asphyxiated delirium, Dwight thought of his childhood, of his youth. It wasn’t an easy life, the man hadn’t exactly been blessed with good looks, having developed male-pattern baldness in his early twenties, seemed to always retain weight, and was cursed with a small, round chin. The opposite sex paid him no attention, leading Dwight to enter his thirties as a virgin. where he’d accepted his fate and resigned himself to frequent masturbation of increasingly bizarre fetishes. He wasn’t happy, but he was content.
Yet, falling into the world of ULife had given him a short, yet fulfilling experience that’d excited and left Dwight feeling more accomplished than he had in the last 10 years. His mind fading into black, the effeminate avatar’s only regret was not being able to enjoy this new life longer…
It turned out that fate wasn’t done with Dwight, nor his 3 new acquaintances. After being asleep for what felt like days, the mint-haired gamer opened his eyes to a find himself laying right in front of a roaring fire place, where a thick, furry blanket weighed down overtop his body as he took a brief inhale of the pleasant scent of wood and smoke. His eyes drifting around his new surroundings, Dwight noticed that he was in what appeared to be in a single-roomed cabin, where to his relief, his other companions were laying there with him by the fireplace.
“C-charcoal, you have to wet the charcoal,” McWanda mumbled in her sleep, her nose twitching as she caught a whiff of the couple of logs that were fueling the fire. Logan was laying on his back, his arms and legs comically sprawled out like a dog’s.
“Pssst, Dwight,” Mister S.A whispered as he suddenly crawled out from beneath the same blanket that the massive-chested avatar was under. “I know you just woke up, but have you seen my suit? I feel a little naked…”
Indeed, the brown and white hamster was deprived of his suit and sunglasses, standing before Dwight like a normal furry pet.
“Heh, you’re actually kind of cute, you remind me of my class hamster back from the third grade,” Dwight chuckled as he rolled over onto his side, using his humongous, plush bosom as a pillow. “Any idea where we are? Who saved us?”
“I’m not sure, I only just woke up myself,” the rodent hitman replied, looking around the wood-logged room. “But I assume that whoever they are must mean no harm. I mean, they’ve taken the trouble to warm us, and all.”
Sunlight shone in from a nearby glass window, indicating that the howling blizzard had since past and that the group was safe for a time being. Sitting next to Dwight’s laid head, Mister S.A put his paws out as he continued to enjoy the heat of the nearby fire, where the overly busty bombshell also allowed himself to bask in the warming glow of the flames. After another 10 minutes, a solid wood door at the end of the cabin creaked open, jolting the pair from beneath the blanket.
“Oh, you’re awake,” a man’s voice could be heard as he stepped towards the laid out group, where Dwight turned his head to see a pair of golden cat eyes staring back at him. Towering above them was an anthropomorphic grey tabby cat, who was dressed in lustrous gold and black armor that resembled the suits worn by samurais. A katana sword was sheathed on his hip, though unlike Kyroshi Slader’s, it appeared to be a regular steel sword.
“I know that uniform,” Mister S.A said with a smile. “The Kabuto guard of the Jal Mountains, you guys are the law keepers of this realm.”
“Correct, and you guys are lucky that our patrol witnessed you all get buried in that avalanche, we were able to get everyone out just in time,” the cat man replied, before kneeling down to extend his hand. “I’m Corporal Tuna, by the way. Now I don’t mean to sound like I’m interrogating you, but what were you guys doing all the way up on that mountain?”
“The Kyroshi Syndicate kidnapped us back in Acidystopia,” the hamster hitman answered, drawing a concerned look from Dwight. “We all woke up in their hideout back on the mountain, where we managed to escape, but one of their bastard captains caused that avalanche and then- well, I guess you lot found us.”
“Wait, seriously?!” Tuna asked, clutching a black helmet with tall, beetle-like horns atop it under his other arm. “This is a forward operations camp, our commander and the rest of the troop have been scouring the mountain looking for the Kyroshi Syndicate. Do you mean to tell me that you’ve all been in their hideout?”
“We weren’t there by choice, trust me,” Dwight added, his voice shaky as he recalled the traumatic experience meeting the Syndicate’s boss. “We met their leader too, he’s insane!”
Just then, Logan suddenly stood up, cracking his large under bite jaw as he sleepily looked between the room’s occupants.
“Thanks for the save, pussycat,” he yawned, before stretching his back. “Did I just hear you guys are looking for those Syndicate bastards? I kind of have it out for them, so if you’re planning some all-out war, then count me in.”
“Actually, we’re beginning to suspect that the group is indeed planning something of a war,” Tuna continued, his paws tapping at the sheath of his sword. “We’ve gotten intel that the Syndicate is planning on smuggling weapons out of the realm, supposedly to Hamaica.”
“Should we- should we really be getting involved with this any further though?” Dwight asked, nervously scratching his wrist as he sat up, letting the thick blanket slide off of him. To his surprise, his body was now draped in a long, purple kimono, which more resembled a dress as his gargantuan breasts caused it to poke out some ways.
“Ah yes that kimono used to belong to a bear, it was the only thing that would fit you, young lady, given the size of your bust,” Tuna said as he noticed the mint-haired beauty checking himself out.
“Well damn, am I ever sexy,” Dwight snickered, admiring the way that the silky outfit hugged his curves.
Corporal Tuna tried answering the rest of the questions that the group had, though he’d soon have to repeat himself as McWanda suddenly jerked awake minutes later and demanded an explanation. Though their belongings had been taken to dry off, the cat man promptly returned everything. Mister S.A was happy to don his suit and sunglasses again, though Logan’s shirtless collar and tie were destroyed, but the gruff dragon didn’t really care.
“So what’s the plan now, guys?” Wanda, who was now draped in a gorgeous red and blue kimono, asked as she grilled some beef patties on her little charcoal grill. “I guess its Dwight’s call. I’m guessing that the Kyroshi Syndicate thinks that we’re dead, so we can probably just lay low for a while until they forget about all this.”
“What? Where’s the fun in that?” Logan protested, crossing his arms as he eyed the grill. “We need to hit those guys and make them pay for what they did to my plant. Dwight, I know what I walked in on. That guy was trying to fuck you, are you just going to let that slide?”
All eyes fell on the massive-chested avatar as Dwight’s face was flushed with embarrassment, his red cheeks looking down towards his tight-fitting kimono as everyone looked on in sympathy.
“I knew something like that was going on,” Mister S.A remarked. “I didn’t want to think too much into it, but I knew something was amiss when I came into that room with you topless.”
“Mustard and pickles, Dwight, are they saying that the boss was trying to rape you?” McWanda added. “What the buns…”
“Look, I’m not asking you guys to put your lives at stake,” Tuna chimed in, a concerned expression in his cat eyes. “You’ve been through enough already it sounds like. It would just be a huge help for us if you could direct us towards the Kyroshi Syndicate hideout.”
Gingerly feeling up his gargantuan rack, Dwight shuddered at remembering how they were forcibly fondled by Kyroshi Slader, the Syndicate’s leader and fellow isekai victim. It was humiliating being violated, where the avid gamer now felt a sort of inner resentment towards the golden katana-wielding man. He couldn’t help but feel incredibly chafed at how a fellow man from his world would treat him so terribly.
“On second thought,” Dwight murmured, scratching his thigh though the silky garment draped over him. “I actually wouldn’t mind helping you guys take that Kyroshi dude down. I thought he’d be cool since he’s from the same place as I am, but screw that, the guy is a total asshole!”
“He’s from the same realm as you? I guess it’s personal for you then, huh?” Tuna asked with a smirk. “We’d be thankful for some extra recruits, this special operations unit is just the three of us: me, our commander, and our spy.”
“Heck yeah, let’s do it!” Wanda cheered as she flipped a burger into Logan’s open mouth.
“Mmm ‘atta boy, Dwight, we got your back,” Logan smiled as he promptly chewed and swallowed the beefy morsel.
“Excellent work, Corporal, you’ve landed us some much needed manpower,” a woman’s voice said as it became apparent that someone had silently appeared in one-room cabin.
“Ah, Mistress Kaiyo!” Tuna said as he stood up straight before bowing respectfully.
Wearing similar black and gold samurai armor was a tall, muscular Asian woman, who was in the process of removing a beetle-horned black helmet to reveal her pale face and deep, dark eyes.
“I’m Mistress Kaiyo, a commanding officer in the Kabuto Guard,” the lady explained, brushing her neatly-cut, shoulder-length hair to the side. “As my underling explained, this little squad of mine is tasked with locating the Kyroshi Syndicate’s secret hideout in this realm. I know you 4 have already been thoroughly involved with them through your actions in Acidystopia. I was actually in a meeting with our own governor when we learned that Taxmongous had been disposed.”
“Wait, the Acidystopian governor who was overthrown after people found out that he’d been funneling tax dollars to the Kysroshi Syndicate…you guys did that?!” Corporal Tuna asked, putting his paws on his armored skirt.
“I guess news of our escapades has reached other realms already,” Mister S.A remarked. “Did you ever think you’d be this famous, Dwight?”
“The big-breasted one is already being talked of as a fan favorite, given that employees of the Fumageddon power plant testified that she defeated a Kyroshi captain,” Kaiyo continued, pacing towards the group of 4. “Are you guys in on our operation then? Care to help us hit the Syndicate’s weapons shipment?”
“My big idiots at the power plant,” Logan said with a chuckle. “Hell yeah we’re in, right, guys?”
“Yes!!” the other 3 exclaimed in unison. The eagerness of his new comrades combined with the seemingly-competent Kabuto Guards at their side, Dwight felt his previous apprehensions slip away, where he instead now felt quite confident in aiding their rescuers in striking back at the Kyroshi Syndicate.
“Marvelous! I knew you guys would be worth digging out of the snow,” Kaiyo smirked with a wink, her bright-pink lips curled into a smile. “I’ll have Tuna make us a pot of hot tea while we go over the plan. Our spy should be coming back from his patrol any minute.”
With the group still sitting around the crackling fire in their blankets, the occasional ember shooting out and fading into nothingness on the varnished wood floor, the humanoid cat brought everyone a small mug of piping-hot green tea. Sipping the scalding beverage, Dwight shook his long mint hair out of his face as he watched Mistress Kaiyo unroll a parchment map, which depicted a top-down view of the mountain range that they were on.
“We’ve been scouring this mountain up and down for weeks, but the cave that they’re hiding in is well hidden, and the near-constant snow falls don’t exactly help us when trying to locate it,” the woman samurai began. “If you guys can point us towards the general area where the entrance might have been, then we can ambush the weapons shipment when it sets out.”
“I dare say that we won’t be able to point out the entrance on that map there,” Mister S.A commented, stroking his furred chin. “But perhaps being back on the mountain will jolt our memory?”
“It’s already in here,” McWanda piped up, tapping her red head. “I have a photographic memory thanks to years of memorizing BBQ cookbook pages.”
“That mountain was a blur for me, I feel I like was comatose the whole time,” Dwight chuckled. “Feeling my bare nipples almost freeze off is something I’d never wish upon anyone.”
“Even giving us the general direction will be a big help,” Kaiyo smiled. “We’ll observe from a distance too to ensure you all won’t be in danger of reencountering their forces.”
“Implying we don’t want to?” Logan added.
Just then, the cabin’s door opened for the third time that day, where in walked a new individual. A pale, scrawny man noisily walked towards the group, a black bowler hat atop his head that matched the scruffy black peacoat that hung loosely around his body. Most prominent about the stranger was a long, thin, curled brown mustache that stuck out from beneath his pointed nose.
“Ahhh, our guests are awake, hmmmm?” the odd man said, stroking his mustache. “Tuna told me outside that they might be interested in joining our operation.”
“They’ve agreed to help us find the hideout, since they escaped out of it themselves,” Kaiyo replied, before turning to the group to introduce the stranger. “This is our spy, Turncoat. He’s infiltrated the Kyroshi Syndicate’s ranks as a foot soldier, it’s been very helpful in feeding us information.”
“Your name is…Turncoat?” Dwight asked, his eyebrow raised at the odd name.
“Turncoat McTraitor, yes ma’am, at your service,” the bowler-hatted man smiled mischievously, drawing a further eyebrow raise from the mint-haired gamer.
“Wait, so if he’s already in their ranks, then doesn’t he know where their base is?” Wanda asked.
“Unfortunately, I’m a relatively new recruit to them so I’m not trusted with such secrets just yet,” Turncoat answered, continuously twirling his mustache with his finger. “I have to meet them in a specified location, where they put a bag over my head and transport me to their hideout. By the time they take the bag off, I’m already inside their base, so I have no idea where it actually is. The same thing happens when I’m to leave the base, they make sure I have no way of seeing how I got there.”
“Well that’s a pain in the ass,” Logan snorted. “But having you as an inside man is pretty cool, did you learn anything about them?”
“Like I said, as a low-ranking member, I was only recently made aware of the weapons shipment to Hamaica,” Turncoat continued, joining his commanding officer at her side. “But, it’s interesting to know that their leader has some sort of grand plan. I think the dastardly devil has taken quite a liking to me too.”
“Again, Turncoat? McTraitor?” Dwight asked in an unusual moment of perceptiveness. “You don’t think a name like that is going to be a giveaway?”
“What are you talking about, Dwight?” Mister S.A asked, where the other occupants of the room looked at the blue-haired bombshell in confusion.
“N-nevermind…”
With the Kabuto Guard’s taskforce now fully assembled, Mistress Kaiyo was able to sketch out a quick plan there on the spot. Drawing several sweeping lines across the parchment map, which the samurai woman had tacked up above the fireplace, the commander pitched her idea.
“After Turncoat has returned to the Kyroshi base, I think we should split up into two teams,” Kaiyo began, pointing towards the first arrow on her map. “The first team will consist of myself, Corporal Tuna, the hamster, and the fry cook. We’re probably the quickest fighters.”
“Fry cook? I’m not objected to the title, but I went to college, you know” McWanda huffed as she was suddenly in the corner grilling more burgers.
“Hey, that just leaves me and Dwight!” Logan protested. “I’m a great fighter too you know, and I’ve watched Dwight smother a spear-chucking lady into unconsciousness under his big boobs!”
“Hear me out, I have a plan for you two” Kaiyo continued. “The rest of us will advance towards the base per your direction, where we’ll ambush whatever forces the Kyroshi Syndicate fields to escort the shipment. You guys, however, will head off whatever they’re using to transport the shipment, where we’ll need your big, bulky bodies to block them off. You look like some heavy hitters, so we need you to stall whoever is doing the transporting while we eventually join you from the rear once we deal with the other enemies.”
“I’m…bulky?” Dwight asked, flushed.
“Ah okay, I thought you were holding out on us,” Logan snorted. “Alright, I’m in. Everyone else good?”
“I was just about to say, it’s a nice simple plan,” Mister S.A agreed. “I’ve done similar tactics when assassinating a target.”
“I feel like I should have maybe asked you guys what your occupations were before this,” Kaiyo commented, her eyes drifting between the group of 4. “But whatever, you’re here now and you’re helping us, that’s what matters.”
With the plan set, everyone suited up to get ready for the assault. Dwight and McWanda were each given a pair of platform sandals, which would make it easier to walk in the snow while matching their apparently-warm kimonos. Mister S.A smirked as he pocketed a doll-sized dagger that was the perfect size for him, while Logan opted to wear nothing. Kaiyo and Tuna, meanwhile, donned their beetle-horned helmets, before tightening up their armor and ensuring that their katanas were at the ready. Turncoat simply straightened his peacoat and dusted off some powdered snow from his bowler hat.
“Yo, Turncoat, meet White Christmas at the usual rendezvous point,” a static-riddled voice on the other end of a walkie-talkie squawked, where the Kabuto Guard’s spy withdrew the black device from his coat pocket.
“Roger that, Mister Slader,” Turncoat replied. “Are we about to move the…stuff?”
“Indeed, and I want you riding with me and the shipment. Consider it bodyguard duty,” Kyroshi’s voice could be heard.
“Yessir, I’ll get on my way right now!” the mustached man responded gleefully, reaching for the door. “I’ll see you guys on the other side!”
“Wait, so this is happening right now? Already?” Dwight asked, finding things to be moving very fast. “D-damn, are we ready?”
“Ready as we’ll ever be, big-boobs,” Kaiyo answered with a smile beneath her helmet. “Once Turncoat is gone, we’ll begin the trek back to the mountain, and from the sound of it, he’ll be riding with the boss too. Dwight, Logan, if you two pull this off right, you can help our spy make the arrest of the century and apprehend Kyroshi Slader.”
