"hmmmmm my head"
Shadows moved through the outskirts of a mountainous woodland, close to the town of Aldous, but one figure laid motionless—a woman so divine that she could tempt the most pious of monks.
A twitch passed through her muscles as she stirred. Releasing a low groan while opening her black eyes, she took a moment to allow her vision to adjust to the faint beams of moonlight that shone through the dense canopy.
She was in an unfamiliar place, and from the little she could see of herself…
P.O.V change
"where am I"
I looked around trying to make out the situation I found myself in.
"woods?. . . . how did I end up in the woods"
trying to remember what happened before I woke up here was hard since I had this massive headache, but with my incredible willpower, I managed to remember some parts of what happened.
"I was in my room studying for a big exam and, I. . . . suddenly got very sleepy and just slept on the table"
scrunching up my face in confusion I exclaimed.
''How the hell did I end up in the woods then"
groaning at my helpless situation, I kept my cool like my dad taught me and tried looking to see if I can find anything useful.
"are those. . . .lights,. . . . could mean civilization, guess il go check it out"
seeing as the lights were the only noteworthy thing I could see I started my walk there with caution, as mom always said "never jump to things as that will only lead to your doom".
P.O.V CHANGE
"YWAN"
same as always I stood by the town gates viewing the outskirts of the forest in the distance, not a lot happens in the middle of the night, but there are the occasional beasts that roam around, but nothing beyond that.
but then from the corner of my eye I see a silhouette, I get ready for combat in case its a beast but from what I can see the silhouette is humanoid, I relax but don't let my guard down, I wait until the silhouette comes closer.
"WHO GOES THERE"
the silhouette pauses for a few moments while muttering something under its breath before resuming its way over.
"yes sorry, I got lost in the forest and was only able to find my way thanks to the light at night"
after saying that the silhouette came closer and I was able to see it properly, and I could only leave my mouth hanging from shock at the person that showed up, she could only be described as a goddess amongst mortals, her pure white hair shimmered slightly from the rays of the moon, her white healthy pink skin was complemented with the moon in the background, she wore a plain white T-shirt, and a plain red silk pants.
"Hello, you there"
snapping out of my stupor I looked back at her to see she had a slight smile.
"ah yes well, papers of identification or adventures card please"
I went into a professional pose and said with a strict tone that has been drilled into me.
"ah well the thing is I lost my bag that contained everything to identify me with when i was lost, . . . is there any other way i can get in"
the girl said, she looked to be no older than 17, i pitted her, for a young girl such as her to be lost in the forest until this late, she must have been so scared and went through a lot of troubles.
"well. . . this is complicated, let me get my captain and see what we can do, maybe we can get you an adventures card or get you a new one if you already joined"
the girl looked a little better and gave a small nod while smiling.
"thank you very much, . . . is there any place I can stay while I wait"
right, I can't just leave the girl here alone, I guess it would be okay if she follows me.
"well you can follow me to the captains quarters, he should still be here at the moment"
turning around I started to make my way to the captain's quarters with the young lady in tow.
-----------------------
P.O.V CHANGE
-----------------------
looking at the back of the guard I sighed in relief, that went out better than expected.
after a few moments of walking, I started to think about the possibility that I was really Isekaied, its a possibility but I'm not going to rule out other possibilities.
"were here"
after walking for some minutes right beyond the wall of the town we arrived at a stone guardhouse that was lightly lit, the guard that lead me here knocked on the door and waited.
"come in"
a rough voice called out from inside, and we came in, inside the room it looked pretty neat with bookshelves on the walls filled with papers and documents, there was a table in the middle of the room with papers stacked on two sides, behind the desk was a 30 to 40-year-old man, he had a clean-shaven beard with black hair and eyes, the dude was packed with muscle that can be seen through his shirt, he was about 6.9, he had a scar run down on his left cheek.
"what do you need"
the man asked while still writing on the paper he had.
"Sir, this young lady says she has been lost in the forest and was only able to make her way back thanks to the lights, she has lost her bag that contains everything she has that could identify her"
hearing what the guard said the man stopped writing on the paper and looked up at us, he only paused for a bit when looking at me before replying.
"wait outside while I have a chat with the young lady"
the guard did a salute before going outside and waiting.
"Have a seat, and tell me from the beginning what happened"
I usually would not bother up-rating, but since an immature idiot gave you a 1 for no freaking reason at the start I will give you a 5 temporarily despite there being no real reason to. Besides that spelling checks with an app, and try to start paragraphing from the left and not center. Up to you to double paragraph or not, try not to get too disheartened. Cheers.
Thanks so much, and the reason for the writing being in the middle it's because what I prefer, but after 10 or so chapters a shall do a poll to see what the veiwers would like
@beargrils Up to you, just keep up the good work. I will just tell you the reason I say this since I also write and my blue box statuses are defaulted to middle. Middle is eye-catching and fancy, but having to move your eyes because all your sentences are of different lengths is not a pleasant feeling as a reader. I know I say that it is important to enjoy what you write, but if you should still think, "How would my readers think if they read things like this." The issue with double paragraphs is the same, but if you are comfortable with writing this style, just go for it. Treat what I say as a passing thought.
@Mysticant thanks il keep that in mind
The POV changes are confusing. It seems to me like you're trying to use them to switch between either Scene changes, or 1st and 3rd person perspective, I'm not sure because you're using both 3rd person and 1st person perspective "at the same time".
I'd also recommend looking a bit more into punctuation and capitalization, as it's a tiny bit confusing at times. You can use google docs or something to write in and it will fix most grammatical errors.
Might also want to look into not having everything centered, due to formatting there are some weird sentence structures which is one of the reasons things are often on the left.
Anyways those are the things I picked up on when reading, up to you what you want to do.
Thank you so much for your comment, it will help a lot, I knew I was missing somethings just didn't know what
I'm not a fan of the POV changes, but this is a great start!