Chapter 2 – We are humans, not beasts
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He walked in with his usual annoying swagger and that damn sneer. It may have been a mistake to drink; I already wanted to punch him.

Fucking prick, couldn't he stay at home for today.

I had known Li Chu for years, and we had never been on good terms. It wasn't rare that we insulted each other over some minor matter or another. I was usually the winner since I was ahead of him in cultivation, and I also didn't give a crap about his money or other things in the village – I was going to go to the sect after all — so it was easy to redirect the conversation to his slow progress. But things weren't in my favor today.

Hey! You started drinking without me! Give me that bottle!” said Li Chu, far too loudly.

"Here, though it's nearly finished," said Gou, handing him the only bottle that remained.

He swished it around, "it's nearly empty, dammit!", then took a sip, "and also tastes like shit."

"Well, no one asked you to drink. You can go home and drink your wine there." I said acidly. I was sitting while leaning on a wall since things started spinning.

"Uh? Look who we have here! The cripple! Not so smug now, uh!" he said, looking down on me, both figuratively and literally. His ego must have suffered quite a bit until now, especially considering he was two years older.

"Said the weakling," I shot back.

"I at least am not crippled, like you. I can still go to the sect, and I can be a cultivator. You better pay me respect from now on." he said arrogantly.

"Me paying respect to you? I'd prefer doing that to a pig. Besides, aren't you way too slow? You're two years older than me, but you're still stuck in the middle of the Body Tempering Realm. If you slow down more you'll finish when you're a hundred years old!" I derided him.

It was something I always needled him with, and though now it wouldn't be as effective, I couldn't come up with anything better.

"It's not that I am slow. I just do things properly, unlike you. Who knows, maybe you took some strange medicine that ruined your meridians or wait... speaking of pigs, I heard the ones in your farm grow up quite healthy and strong. Did they give you pig feed by any chance growing up? That would explain many things; maybe it's a family tradition. Hahaha!" he said. He was having so much fun, but he crossed the line there.

"What did you say, you bastard, who's the pig!?" I said, getting up.

Bastard better be careful on what comes out of his mouth.

"Who, indeed, I wonder? I suppose a pig is the son of a sow, isn't that right, guys?" he said, looking around looking at the others who had been silent until now. They may be drunk, but they were still sober enough to avoid butting in.

It took me a few seconds to understand, in my inebriated state. Then I snapped.

He didn't even have time to raise his guard as my punch slammed on his face downing him. Then I was over him raining punches over and over wherever I could reach, while he tried to defend himself with his arms, but he was too weak, and my blows went through easily. I hit until his arms fell, and after he stopped screaming. I felt someone trying to grab my arms several times, but I just shrugged them off until someone stronger stopped me, and I was thrown off and immobilized on the ground.

I heard him talk, but I didn't understand what he said as I screamed and thrashed on the ground to free myself.

Apparently, someone had enough of the ruckus since I felt a blow to the head and then nothing.

The next thing I remember was waking up on my bed at home.

It took a while for my brain to start processing things, maybe slowed by the growing headache.

I moved to sit, but I had a sudden jolt of pain behind my head, so I stopped. Moving carefully, I brought my hands behind my head and felt a bump.

What the hell...

Then I remembered what happened.

. shit.

This was not good. Not good at all. I was about to panic, but I forcefully calmed myself: I needed to think. The headache wasn't helping, but that was the least of my problems.

I tried to remember how much I had beaten Li Chu, but I wasn't sure. I was drunk and enraged, and I had the feeling I felt something break when I was hitting him. I hoped it wasn't his head.

Shit, shit, shit! No, wait, I probably wouldn't be on my bed. Had that been the case, I would have been locked in one of the cells. I don't think uncle Ying could, or would, have done something if I had killed Li Chu. So he was probably ok, I thought, licking my lips nervously.

I then noticed how dry my mouth was, so I slowly got up and searched for some water. Things swam around a little when I stood on my feet but, after a moment, I was fine. There was no one in the house, as was usual during the day. Looking outside, I saw the sun was still rising, so a bit before mid-morning.

I then sneaked out of the house.

I saw my mother and eldest brother, but I successfully escaped without their notice. I knew I would have to confront them anyway at lunch, but I really didn't feel ready right now. So I hid in the trees. Then skipped lunch since I wasn't that hungry – I still felt like throwing up. I sneaked to the wells to drink quite a few times— they likely could have easily caught me if they wanted. In the end, the evening was upon me.

I spent the day playing by myself when I started to feel better – scaling trees, throwing rocks, and the like – to avoid thinking about the issue.

When evening approached, I had to go back.

I went around the house spied behind the corner. My dad was waiting in front of the door. I slowly brought my head back.

Could I escape? No. Delay? Maybe, but I would need a good excuse if I didn't return home tonight, or it'd just infuriate him more. I could injure myself and... no, that's stupid... ugh, I should just get over with it.

Taking a few breaths, I left my corner and went to confront my father.

I already knew he was angry since he was waiting for me like that, but seeing his face, nearly made me stumble. My father was not a tall man, at around 165 cm, but he was sturdy. He could be very imposing when he wanted. His gray-blue eyes, which I had not seen on anyone else until now, gave me the chills as he looked at me. He never needed to shout to be scary. A glare was enough.

So... you finally showed your face. Were you that busy today?” he asked in a low voice.

I shook my head, my gaze unable to meet his.

"I just came back from mister Li place; do you know what he said to me?" he said.

I should have come back for lunch; he may have been less angry.

I shook my head again.

"His son, Li Gou, has been brought to Wuchang city to see a doctor. He still doesn't clearly know the extent of his injuries, but at least one arm is broken, most of the teeth were knocked off, his nose is reduced to a pulp, probably his jaw is broken too, and the rest of his face is a bloody mess," he said almost growling.

He was visibly trying to hold in his anger as he kept talking, "he doesn't know if there are more fractures or broken bones and his eyes look to be fine, but he'll have to wait to see a doctor to be sure. For now, they gave him some sleeping powder from the herbalist to keep him unconscious. Brother Yong also had to intervene and mediate with the Li to let you go."

He the silence linger after he finished.

I was frozen in place. There was a nasty lump in my throat, and my chest was feeling heavy. I forced myself to breathe normally. I had been scared before but now hearing what I did, made me feel sick, on top of that.

My father looked at me for what felt like an eternity. I had not the courage to look at his face. After taking a deep breath, though, I had the impression he got his anger in check. I didn't know if it was good or bad, but I still didn't look up. I waited.

I heard him take another breath, and I tensed, but he just spoke levelly.

"I don't think you know how I felt like going there hearing this from him; or how I feel now. To say I am disappointed and angry wouldn't cut it. But I won't hit you. It seems that violence is your way to solve problems, but we are humans, not beasts, and that is not how our family does things. I, as the patriarch, will not go against those teachings myself.

But a punishment is needed.

From tomorrow on, you'll wake before down and work at the farm until bedtime. I, and your mother, will give you tasks, and you'll complete them until you have worked enough to repay all the expenses for Li Chu's treatment. If you try to skip or don't work hard enough, we'll just give you more work.

Use this time to think very well about what you did and the kind of person you want to become. But remember well, the Gongsun family is not a family of thugs, and if you think that's what you want to become, you'll have to leave behind both the name and the house."

He paused at the end, letting me absorb those words.

"Now come inside to eat. It's better if you rest well tonight; you'll need the energy tomorrow. Your mother will also give you a few words." he said, walking inside.

I followed him in silence. The following dinner was a quiet affair only broken by my mother scolding from time to time.

They worked me hard at the farm, after that day, so much that I didn't have time and energy to do anything else. They rarely let me off for half a day, which I mostly spent in the forest.

I met Gou by chance on the village streets once when I went to help father transport some things, but he avoided me.

He may have been scared.

My father handled everything with mister Li; he didn't tell me much about what happened other than Li Chu made a complete recovery. Though I did notice we were spending money sparingly.

For nearly a year, I worked around the farm and the house without complaining. I always did my jobs as I was instructed and didn't slack off.

They didn't ease off in the punishment at all, but that was fine with me. It was hard, but at least it eased some of my guilt. Then my eldest brother spoke up during dinner to ask my parents to let me off.

It seems that they had been satisfied with my work since they agreed after a brief discussion.

I hadn't expected it. I suddenly found myself with a lot of time on my hands without knowing how to fill it, so I just started wandering about in the forest without really doing anything in particular.

I still paid attention not to get too deep, but that was the extent of it.

At times I walked for hours, circling the village or just going straight and then turning back. I didn't go too far since walking in a forest with no path wasn't easy. Everything got in the way, and, at times, I had to take detours around some impracticable terrains, or too many branches or bushes got in the way. I still spent a decent amount of time at the farm since I still had some jobs I had started that I wanted to finish myself, and I still needed to help out - food didn't come free.

I never went near the village during this period as I didn't feel the need to. The friends I had before probably didn't want to associate themselves with me anymore, and it had been a year since I talked with any of them.

My family found out that I had isolated myself after a few months, but other than trying to convince me to interact with others, they didn't have much time to spare to do anything more. My third brother's marriage was coming up, and they had a lot of things to prepare. They were also expanding the farm, so that meant more work.

It was a period that was both busy and quiet for me. I was a bit lonely, but the solitude itself felt nice somehow.

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