I was only too eager to confront Noah. I waited to do so for his consciousness to enter the dream world. I wanted to speak to him when he was most lucid, most able to focus all of his attention upon me. Since Noah and I had a contract, I was able to meet him and pull him into my realm the moment his body fell asleep.

I pulled Noah into the Void. Every time he sleeps, is like he is dead. Noah very infrequently remembers his dreams. I use the Void to avoid the influence of my brothers, especially Azazel. Although the Void is a difficult realm for human consciousness, it is the only place I knew I could fully control. I knew Azazel has been sniffing around my affairs, I could feel it. The Void was the only truly safe place in all the universe.

As soon as he was asleep, I summoned him. I had pulled Noah's consciousness into the Void so many times, it was beginning to get used to it. Though, because it was unnatural to mortals, it was still jarring. I could see his consciousness begin to materialize in the darkness. It always took him a moment to orientate himself. His consciousness appeared as a wisp of white smoke at first. It undulated and swelled in the Void as if wrestling to find which ends were his feet and which parts were his hands. Then, after a moment, Noah realized he was dreaming and adjusted. The wisp formed into a well dressed version of his dream-body.

Where Wendy usually looked like a small, bright pixie like creature, Noah looked much like himself. He looked human, with his features more masculine and his clothing more stylish. I didn't bother summoning chairs or lighting, though I didn't prevent Noah from doing so for himself. I liked the Void just the way it was.

“What are you doing?” I asked Noah, abruptly.

“What? What do you mean, 'what am I doing?'” Noah asked, as if dumbfounded.

“Why have you been neglecting Wendy?” I asked.

“I—huh? I don't know. Maybe I am not ready to be a trans-step dad? But also...” Noah blurted out. In the dream world, it was much more apparent when a mortal was lying. There was no body, no face, to hide behind. His energy became mud at the untruths. I frowned but said nothing and allowed him to continue. “...also, I think I love her. I just wish I could be in a relationship with her where I could be more myself.”

“What's so special about her?” I asked, genuinely wondering. I did not have human eyes, except when I truly pressed my consciousness onto Noah's, forcing myself into the forefront. In a sense, I was smothering my personality over his. The only time I could see with human eyes was when I was fully possessing him. Like an immune response, his consciousness pushes me back. It is oil and water, two halves of magnets repelling one another. To overpower him would be to suppress his will and destroy his life essence, and it wasn't something easily done.

“Well, she's quite amazing,” replied Noah, his energy glowing. “she's an artist and she's really fun. She's a fairy, and I really like fairies.”

“They're fickle,” I scoffed. “she will break your heart into a thousand pieces once she is bored.”

“I know and I don't care, loving is always worth it over not loving or never trying,” answered Noah.

I wasn't sure how to respond. He was correct. Love was one of the known energies in the universe to not suffer from entropy. It was free energy. It was a force that only grew when fed. It just didn't exist or wasn't accessible to low vibrational entities, and love certainly wasn't given to the Devil of any kind.

Then, of course, I was instantly reminded of something, the little scrap of paper given to me by the Lord himself. It was a clue or code of some kind, as all communication with the Creator was like that. I had gone through a lot of trouble because of that little scrap of paper. I am still in the process of deciphering what it meant.

Azazel hasn't been in communication with the Lord since the initial Fall from grace. The fact that I received authentic communication direct from the Lord (and not from one his mouthpieces, like Metatron or Sandalphon) is... well, it is nearly impossible to put into words. It seems so significant that it is the ultimate secret that I wish to keep to myself. The communication from the Lord was just two words. It was written in genuine gold metal on a tiny fortune cookie paper.

“Choose love.”

Like all messages from the Creator, it is both full of meaning and cliché. It could mean anything or it could be the key to all of existence. Whatever it was, it was directed at me. The Creator doesn't make mistakes.

I kept silent for a long time as I deliberated with myself. Since we were in the Void, I had all the time in the universe. I could even keep Noah hostage, and it would be like he never woke up in the real world. Eventually, his body would die in his sleep. I stared into Noah. I read every color and pattern in his aura, every shift in his mood and every thought I could close my hands around. I knew his ancestors. I knew nearly every spiral in all the genetic coding of his DNA. I stared into him and through him.

I knew that if I did not at least consider the clue given to me on that fortune cookie from the Lord, that only more folly would become of me. Being the Devil (or one of his brothers) I did not need more folly. I did not need or want to sink any lower in Hell.

“Well,” I said, after an infinity. “do you love Wendy?”

“I am sure that I love her, but it is a young love, I'll admit,” said Noah. He didn't seem to be aware of any time passing. “because I'm young-- as a soul, and I'm incomplete. Because I was born in the wrong body, I don't think I'll ever be complete as a being. Not in this lifetime.”

“A lot of people were born in the wrong body,” I said. “that is just one facet of your burden you're supposed to learn from. Everyone is born with a human mask that hides their true form. Wendy is a fairy, so are some of her friends in life. Some people are fairies, some people are clusters of demons strangling out the little scrap of human inside. That's life. That's what it is,” I said matter of factly. Noah was a young person and didn't have any room to argue with me. He didn't have all the information on the workings of reality. It was hard for everyone, not just him. “What do you expect out of it?” I asked.

“Yeah, I got you,” said Noah with snark.

“Excuse me?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow I did not really possess.

“I got a big fat demon inside me dragging me down all the time-- you!! I know that if I didn't have you around I probably wouldn't be as depressed.”

“That's the agreement we made,” I said, frowning. “If I could help it I would. Back to Wendy,” I said, keeping the message from the Creator in mind. If Noah was in love, then like a detective I wanted to follow that clue. Yet, I could not determine that for him. I could only read in his aura that something was there, but it was small and I could easily be deceived. Love was one of the most elusive forces in the universe, and certainly not something easily found on such low vibrational waves.

“I don't know about Wendy!” Noah shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration. “...I don't know. I mean, of course I like her. I like her a lot. She's perfect, really. She's really pretty and I like her kids. I just--... it is circumstance?” said Noah, unsure. “life is... life is hard. I mean, I still live with my dad. And what about my sister? I can't leave her alone with him. And the dogs. Ugh, I hate the dogs but who else will feed them? My car pretty much never works. I can't have a life and dating Wendy would just be impossible. What am I supposed to do? Just.... pick up everything and go be with her?”

“I'm a demon, I don't give advice,” I said fierce, flat coldness. I don't normally answer a mortal with such emotion, but I was feeling bitter myself. I also do not usually hand out untruths. I am not a demon, I only used the word because Noah used it himself on me. “only, I will this time,” I said with a breath of calm. I felt the words hiss through my teeth.

“I want to be with her,” Noah said very quickly, interrupting. “but I want to be with her with my life together. In an apartment, with a car. Something like that. I just don't think I can do it, it would take forever.”

“You're making excuses,” I snapped.

I wanted to follow the clue the Lord gave me to see where it went. I felt that I had no other purpose. If any other brother were given direct communication (though, I wonder if it happens without one another knowledge from time to time? It simply never happened before in my personal experience) it lends itself to mystery, though I believe in my heart Azazel himself has no communication with the Creator.

“Don't I have a choice?” Noah argued angrily. “I'm pretty sure I get the full say in this, this is my life not yours,” Noah continued.

He was right of course. I was the parasitic entity, not him.

I curled my lip.

“Well, of course you do. You're among the living. You're the mortal. Not I. But, you barely act the part. You make non-decisions. Clearly you have feelings for this Wendy or we wouldn't be having this discussion. What is it you want, anyway? Happiness? Love? Something long lasting?”

Noah huffed a sigh.

“I don't know what I want,” he replied in an annoyed tone. I could infer that he wasn't interested in discussion anymore. His aura was drawn in, as if it collapsed and became more and more difficult to read. Yet, it wasn't enough to silence me.

Then, I realized I had no choice. Noah's energy was dissipating. It was fading away, slipping out of my grasp like water. He was waking up and other aspects of his consciousness was tearing him from the Void. While humans sleep, they are tethered by a sort of spiritual umbilical cord that keeps them from getting lost. I did not wish to keep him. I felt the fight get knocked from me. All at once, I felt lost. Fine then, I thought bitterly towards Noah. Fine. Ruin your life, your planet, your chance for happiness-- just as every mortal does with all of their timelines. All of their chances. Fine. The Creator gives you everything and you can't act with one iota of gratefulness by making the tiniest decision he sets before you.

Once again, I found myself unable to let it go. I watched as Noah woke up, pulling his spirit out of the Void and landing back in his body. I followed him out of the Void. I went to his bedroom and continued to watch as he roused himself out of sleep. It was late afternoon and the sky was a silvery gray. Noah seemed disorientated and didn't remember a single thing of our conversation in his dreams. When visiting the Void, most mortals wake up with no dream at all.

'Choose love,' said the clue on the scrap of paper. I wish the clue had more than two words. I wish the clue said something else. Anything else. Any other two words. The first word in the clue was an action. A choice, to choose. I pondered this as I sat near the portal in Noah's room. It was the darkest corner, near his closet. It was the most unused space, a liminal tear in the Veil. Everything in Noah's room was full of chaotic, knotted energy. His depression was strong.

I wandered the room and continued to think on how I would broach the subject. If the Creator was directing me to 'choose' love, which is a kinetic action, then I felt I needed to push Noah to love Wendy. Love as an energy is both passive and active. The Creator wanted moving energy. The Creator wanted an active choice, to choose love. Ignoring this message directed to me was likely an unwise decision. It was something I did not want to do. If the Creator was pushing me to put two human mortals together, who was I, even as the Devil, to argue? Even if mortals did not understand our position, we fallen angels were still acting servants to the Lord.

In Noah's room I saw a very large sheet of paper on his drafting table. I knew it to be a project he was working on for his fantasy game campaign with Joshua. I was curious to the patterns of energy radiating off of the drawing. I could see intricate designs in the energy. I saw thoughts of Wendy's energy and the feeling of far away places. As Noah continued to rise from sleep, I drifted over to his drawing table to absorb what he was working on.

I could not physically see the drawing without Noah's eyes, but I could tell that it was massive map he was drafting. Lots and lots of time and energy had been poured into it overnight. It was not related to the game with Joshua at all. It was a map comprised entirely of Noah's imagination. It was a fantasy world that he created. In it, he drew a fairy-like forest with thoughts of Wendy.

Instead of haranguing Noah to spend more time with Wendy, I devised that I might be more successful if I pushed Noah to work on the map. It would force Noah to think of Wendy in a more round-about way.

The sun was beginning to slice through the cracks in the clouds. I watched as Noah dressed for the day and brushed his teeth. He bound his chest and applied cologne. He had a slight spring in his step as the depression seemed to be quieter this day. I watched as Noah took one glance at his drafting table. It was as if my lingering interest left an impression that caught his notice. I could see Noah's aura, colors and shapes spun and vibrated with excitement. Thoughts and ideas bubbled above his head. Somehow, completely unintentional, my interest in his drawing caused him to feel inspired.

Instead of going to work that day, Noah spent his time working on the map. Without him noticing, I hovered above his shoulder to push and guide him along on his drawing.