14. Hoisted by my own petard
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“I’m leaving, I’ve got to investigate those two spikes of magic to investigate for the Church…”The Marquis said, dusting off lamp bits as he stood up. Bolo fidgeted angrily but didn’t give away anything, the magical marker he’s placed on his mother had been going crazy for the past few days before going silent that morning. His checks on the cabin earlier had found it empty, could the old bat still scry that he was coming? Earlier that week the entire northern coast had seen a strange phenomenon, two streaks of upside down purple and red lightning. Bolo knew the purple one had been nearby, but he didn’t think it’d have anything to do with his dying mother. As soon as the Marquis was gone he had to find her! “Maybe I could play this?” he thought to himself, get the Marquis away until he had time to get things in order. If his mother was discovered by the Marquis he felt she’d be killed and he'd be abandoned.

“Tell me, there have been no reports of strange activity here despite the upside down purple bolt a week ago, right? What about the red upside down bolt near the coast?” Bolo cleverly used questions as a misdirection. Despite their stat difference, the Marquis was no match for Bolo mentally.

“There is nothing out here for it to cause a problem with, the coast is another story entirely! Following the red bolt the mindflayers have become far more aggressive.” Bolo sneered at the Marquis in a way that made him feel small. “Then why are you here Vin? Your little coochie pie is on the De criox mountain road to the coast, go visit her, investigate and once you make the trip back in two weeks I’ll have everything bought to heel and we can finally be free!” Bolo proposed, finding no fault in his logic the Marquis said “Very well, may little firebrand, I’ll investigate and when I return I'll see how the plan is shaping up. As mad as it makes you it will be nice to see Vivianna again, maybe I do it because of how cute you look angry.” Marquis gave the blushing Bolo a kiss which bloomed into another loud love making scene.

 

“What are you doing lil’ Miracle?” Claire asked of Hoglah as she trotted over to the pile of Firewood Bolo would be using for the rest of his winter in the cabin. Hearing nothing but the sounds of rough fucking from the cabin Hoglah decided it might be a safe time to set up some long games. The Marquis was her enemy, but she planned to bury him face first in Moblin pussy by the end of the month with Claire pegging his ass. “Simple Momma, a little bit of a jump, but I must have been bound to this Moblin body by the purple flash of lightning, that means my lover and wife was probably the red lightning, I’ll have you check once we’re safe with scrying…but I want those boys *Ohhh* such pretty boys. They are trying to kill me...that’s a no-no. I’m going to fix them, set right all the wrong done to them, you’ll have your baby back Momma, won't that be nice?” Hoglah asked.

 

At the very thought Claire began squirting and held her face in a lust delirium. Hoglah told her “Onto the firewood mother, join me Momma, but don't forget the job I have for you.” She began to urinate all over the firewood as her mother joined her, alternating streams of urine and ejaculation both piping hot. “Poison takes time, that’s the plan for this village, we’re going to leave them choking and mutating on our farts and musks while we road trip to drive the Marquis insane, well more so anyway. We’ll pick up my beautiful Lillith, cuck the marquis by stealing his strumpet and have a final return here for your son's marriage to the Maquis! Everything I want and telling the church to go fuck itself! *SNORT HE HE HE BUGOH!” Claire had departed and Hoglah was pissing on the woof alone when she paled, her literally rotten luck had caught up with her too soon, one of the Maquis’ attendants stood there with a whistle already in his mouth, having evidently come for more firewood and to no doubt have moment of reprieve from watching the current events in the cabin..

 

“FWEET!*

 

In a flash the duke was already there with his face covered in semen and more messes on the crotch of his finery. “Vile demon! A...A MOBLIN MY GOD!!” He screamed as an itano circus of golden threaded hooks exploded from behind his back and pursued the spritely Moblin who jumped to her already fleeing mother's and the pair were breaking for the treeline. Hoglah narrowed her eyes and slapped gourd hanging from her mother’s hip. “Sorry Gu, I fucked up and this is probably gonna hurt worse than I thought, but we got what we came for and you know the drill!”

A giant man-sized purple being emerged from the gourd like a genie and began swinging his  four fists faster than the eye could see making sounds of great effort, but the exchange was ended many thousands of hooks were embedded in Gu’s arms. Single tug from the cardinal sent an explosive ringing along the golden lines that blew apart most of Gu’s body leaving the splattered remnants to retreat into the gourd or splattered on the forest floor as the figures faded into the darkness of the early morning and the Marquis was about the give chase when an attendant said ”Marquis, you’d better see this.”

 

In the most beautiful cursive any of them had ever seen, a message was pissed into the snow all the way to the dead grass underneath  that read “XOXO Vinny, come watch me fuck Vivianna in De Croix XOXO Love Hoglah, your future Goddess!” It was a shockingly large message to be written in urine. “GRAHHH THERE IS THE PURPLE BOLT IT SEEMS! Come men, we ride for De Croix!” and the Holy man departed as Bolo watched them, tears streaming down his face.

“One threat to the church and the trollop and you don’t even look back at me.”

 

What no one noticed was how all the wood had lost its covering of snow, nor did anyone notice the squirming purple bits that crawled up from the forest floor which began melding into the wood…. For her part Hoglah with her Mother, Gu and Bolo's previously buried money satchel were heading to the village to pay Tonguesten Lankashire a visit...

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