Chapter 34: Codetermination
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As the night went, morning came with it. And Troy wasn't too happy about it.

 

Beside him sat Dr Hale, looking identical to yesterday night. If Troy squinted his eyes a bit, the flaws in her sat-up hair seemed just like those from the day before. Had she even slept?

 

“Quit staring at my hair,” Dr Hale muttered, not having much spirit in her words. “Focus on your food. You don't have too long before we need to go.”

 

Not long, huh? That was a rather larger understatement.

 

This morning, Troy's body, being so smart as usual, had done an advanced reaction to hearing the alarm clock. He had, without waking up mind you, sat up, reached across the bed to get over to the alarm clock, ripped off the charger, turning the noise off in the process, and gone back to bed.

 

To his luck, Troy had woken up half an hour later. After a quick glance at the time, he had promptly bolted out of his bed.

 

And, after a hectic fifteen minutes of preparing, he had ended up here. Coffee at hand, oatmeal on the table, and a Charlie across from him looking as lovely as usual. How the hell did he accomplish that?

 

“Take it as a compliment,” Charlie said, his eyes facing in the general direction of Dr Hale. “If a man stares at your hair for more than ten seconds, you must have done something right with it.”

 

“Ignoring the first part of that statement of yours, I believe Troy may be staring for all the wrong reasons. Mainly, it could be due to a lack of proper relaxation”, Dr Hale monotonically pointed out. “You wouldn't have any suspicions, for why that would be?”

 

Charlie gasped in horror. Troy couldn't bear to look at it. The factor of realism needed to be existent the next time, please.

 

“Accusing an innocent man, now? Dr Hale, your worldview has fractured too far!”, Charlie proclaimed loudly. From the other tables, people gave him slightly frustrated glances. It was good to know, that Troy wasn't the only one, who wasn't too much of a morning person. “How about the two of us go out of our way, and have a relaxing afternoon… with plenty of soothing beverages as well. We´ll call it a testing night, and get ourselves a paid day off. Sounds good?”

 

“We´ve already used one of those this month. If we do it more, my superior will do more, than ask questions about it,” Dr Hale said. And, was that a hint of frustration Troy was hearing? Frustration about a superior… well, the only one above Dr Hale, who he knew by name, was Dr Fidelis.

 

Troy couldn't imagine him prying too much into it, due to suspicion about work avoidance, though. Details about the test seemed much more along the lines of his character.

 

“A shame to outmatch, the new sound of silence,” Charlie said, with a sigh at the end, before standing up. “Welp. I've been delaying leaving for too long. I need to run, or my coworker will yell at me. Bye!”

 

Dr Hale didn't respond, but Troy tried to make up for it, with a small wave.

 

On the subject of delaying, Troy needed to go through his breakfast, or he´d be forced to leave it behind soon. Dr Hale was already done and was just looking down on her plate. Soon, she would look at the watch, before declaring it was time to go.

 

But, the meal today just seemed so stale. It felt as if his tongue just didn't want to taste anything. Why Troy wasn't too sure. Something to bring up with Dr Fidelis maybe? Or, it could just be-

 

No! No more thinking about stuff.

 

Troy shovelled a large portion of oatmeal into his face, his eyes widening in surprise just after. Wait, no, forget calling it to surprise. That sounded way too positive for what actually took place.

 

Tears welled up in his tear ducts, just waiting to fire out. The inside of Troy's mouth burned with the passion of a thousand suns.

 

“Just so we´re clear, this is all your fault”, Dr Hale said, her emotionless face hinting at a sadistic level of enjoyment. “I'm just watching it all unfold. And, why didn't you notice the pure steam coming from that bowl of yours?”

 

Troy forced himself to swallow, and feeling his insides hating him for it. His core felt as if it was heating up.

 

He took several gulps of his coffee, it seeming cold in comparison.

 

“I have been a little distracted this morning”, Troy finally amended, after getting the nerves in his mouth back under control. “You could even call it mildly stressed.”

 

Dr Hale seemed about as interested in his words as usual. As in, she was listening, because it was her job description to do so.

 

“As the person in charge of your mental health”, Dr Hale, with a pause to sigh at her own words. “Don't be stressed. It gives me more work.”

 

Wow. Troy no longer felt the need to communicate his stress level to her anymore. With those encouraging thoughts, he chugged the rest of his coffee, before looking at the daunting task before him.

 

Should he even attempt to eat the burning lava of oats?

 

 

Nah. Lunch would surely be better.

 

“How long till we're leaving”, Troy asked Dr Hale, as he debated getting himself another cup of wake-up fuel.

 

We were supposed to be running two minutes ago”, Dr Hale said, after a quick look at the time.

 

“... Why haven't we done so?” he asked, more than a little confused.

 

“Not feeling like it, but that's a constant,” Dr Hale said. “The main reason must be because I can. My first priority is having you fit for testing. In an argument, everything can be seen as secondary. If by some unfortunate reason, you come to breakfast late, I can't do a lot of anything to fix it. Much less, if you decide to eat extremely slowly. On that topic, are you done? That argument of mine will only work for the first ten minutes. After that, you're gonna have to vomit some blood for me.”

 

Not feeling up to that particular task, Troy hastily sprung up from his seat and began navigating out of the cafeteria. A slightly amused Dr Hale followed from behind.


As the numbers were pressed into the coloured wall, Troy began thinking a few thoughts to himself. Particular some focused on a previous talk, that Troy had had with Charlie last night.

 

“Why is this room even hidden?” Troy asked Dr Hale, who looked up from the wall at his voice.

 

“Any reason for this question?” Dr Hale asked back, not asking his very simple question.

 

“No reason in particular”, Troy lied, with a surprisingly nonchalant voice. “Was just wondering about it. There has to be some reason it's hidden, right?”

 

Dr Hale narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, before just losing interest in calling him out on his lie.

 

“According to the rules, we have to keep some places restricted from the general population. Only those with special clearances have permission to even know about some of the things that are worked on here. With the size of this place, it's natural that not everybody is trusted enough by the government,” Dr Hale explained, as she put in the last few numbers. Though… it seemed awfully long today. “But, everybody still has the right to roam the hallways, yet aren't allowed to even know the name of the restricted department. So, with the stupid way this system works, hidden doors were seen as the best solution.”

 

A fair amount of criticism of the government was heard in those few sentences. Knowing who the owners of this facility were, Troy wasn't too sure he felt comfortable standing so close to her.

 

Not that Troy had to, of course, seeing as the door opened to let them step into the hidden testing location.

 

Inside, Dr Fidelis stood as always. Yet, this time his smile was a little faltered. He still seemed happy about his day, but a little less so than normal.

 

“A bit late today, aren't we?” Dr Fidelis jovially joked around. Or, at least, Troy thought he joked. His face implied so at the minimum.

 

Dr Hale looked ready to talk, but Troy only noticed it at the last second.

 

“Sorry,” Troy said, with a chided tone. “I was a little late to breakfast.”

 

Dr Fidelis looked at Troy, his eyebrows slightly raised. Clearly, he had been expecting Dr Hale to be the one making excuses today.

 

“Well… “, Dr Fidelis started. “Just make sure that it doesn't happen again. We have the tests to do.”

 

He got off easy this time. But, if a next time was even considered, Troy knew the consequences would be more than a little harsher.

 

As he and Dr Fidelis began strapping on the usual gear, he got off to wondering, what was in store for today. But, like always, he knew the results before he even asked.

 

“What exciting test might we do today?” Troy asked, his voice making it clear, what kind of answer he was expecting.

 

Dr Fidelis looked at him coyly.

 

“The regulations make it impossible for me to say even slight hints, at what tests I may or may not do today,” Dr Fidelis recited off the top of his head, while making his voice sound like a wizened old man. “Luckily for you, I´ve already explained the test.”

 

… What?

 

“When exactly did you do that?” Troy asked, his voice bewildered. His mind shared the same kind of state. Did he forget? No, he could have done that so quickly. Even his memory had standards on that. “Because I don't remember that particular part of this conversation of ours.”

 

Oh, that old man was just enjoying this whole schtick. The exasperated face of his just made Dr Fidelis smile wider.

 

“Not much to my own frustration, I have to follow those rules of mine,” Dr Fidelis just stated joyfully. What a terrible person one must be, liking to prevent one from learning. “I guess you just have to wait and find out.”

 

Troy was not gonna wait too long for that. The final button was buttoned, and, with that done, he immediately began marching over to the entrance, the normal earpiece in hand.

 

Now that he thought about it, would Adam be a little grateful, if he got to see outside of the white space more often? He had gotten to see a lot, of course, but that hadn't really been seen as any kind of officiality in any meaningful capacity. Troy would need to ask Dr Fidelis about that, after the test maybe. If he could remember.

 

Those were his thoughts, as he went over the metal grating, and was engulfed by a world of no shadows.

 

As he stepped inside, and his eyes adjusted to the brightness, the earpiece in his hand was put on his ear.

 

Before Adam even had the chance to utter anything, Troy felt it was time for a new change of pace.

 

“Good Morning, Adam,” Troy said, walking a bit more forward before coming to a stop. If he understood the mechanics of the room right, the action was pointless, but it did help Troy get into the right mindset, so he didn't really care about the logistics of it.

 

Adam was not to be underestimated, though.

 

´What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be a good one? Hm?´, Adam rapidly fired at Troy, without a moment's hesitation. Well, at least a moment to Troy. He wasn't too sure how long it was to Adam.

 

“All of them, I suppose”, Troy said, with slight hesitation.

 

´This does not provide me with adequate knowledge. Please give me a better answer.´, Adam unabashedly stated. He didn't even realise what he did there, Troy guessed, with a mental shake of his head.

 

“Don't you have enough knowledge to keep you entertained for a little while more?” Troy asked. There was no way in this dimension that he was making another answer, but saying so would be a little harsh. Especially when it was being recorded.

 

´With any amount of information, I could theoretically keep myself entertained, as you say, for an indefinite amount of time?´, Adam said to Troy, not putting any kind of special tone on.

 

“Was that an overcomplicated way to say forever?” Troy said, asking for clarification on the last part, of what Adam had said. He was a bit fast on the trigger with fancy words today. Or… maybe it was just Troy being a little stupid today. Could be either really.

 

´In this context of usage, yes, it does mean forever´, Adam helpfully clarified to him. Not that he sounded like he was enjoying it. Not the opposite either, but still.

 

“Then… if you can keep on forever, with what you have, why do want more of it?” Troy asked, with a perplexed tone. “I mean, if it's entertaining, why change it out at all?”

 

Without any sound even coming through, Troy could just imagine Adam clearing his non-existent throat, ready to say much more than what was asked.

 

´While I can be entertained by a repeat loop of five seconds, I do not need to. Yes, it stops me from being bored, but the simple knowledge that there is more to know, and that I'm missing out on it, is more than enough motivation to move. To make you better understand it, how about I make it into an analogy? You have a tongue. With this versatile and moveable muscle process, you can do all sort of things. Here, we will be focusing on its ability to taste.

 

Like most other observed humans, I will presume that you have a favourite consumable. Be it potatoes, cake, frozen pizzas or wasabi peanuts, it doesn't matter.

 

Say, you have an infinite amount of food, with all infinite varieties of combinations. It isn't just focused on your particular favourite food, but all kinds of foods, if you can understand.

 

Now… with this infinite amount of food, you can decide what you will eat for all infinity. You can eat your favourite food constantly, of course. It is good. You know it is good because you have tried it so many times before.

 

But, will the knowledge of the other foods on the sides not distract you? Will you not feel the desire to try something new every once in a while? The same is good, but something new is not so bad either.

 

That's how I would describe it. Do you understand now?´

 

A lot of words.

 

“Just a tad more than before”, Troy stated, a little baffled at the sheer amount of words uttered. He had been expecting a lot, but holy frick, that was too much for one sitting.

 

´Then, I see it as a success.´, Adam sent.

 

Nothing more was said between them, as Dr Fidelis came in.

 

*Are you ready to start soon?*

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