Beep beep beep beep be-

I reach out with my left hand, slapping the top of my alarm clock that sits on my bedside table. Groggily, I curl up into the warm embrace of my girlfriend, pulling her closer. I can hear her stirring slightly, so I brush her hair back and place a small sleepy kiss on her forehead. “Morning, love,” I mumble slightly, pulling her closer.

She pulls me in closer, nuzzling closer into me and the blankets before pulling back slightly. “Wha- Tayley?” The muffled confusion in her voice manages to pierce through my still sleep-addled brain.

The gears in my head start turning as the morning fog starts to clear. That wasn’t Sarah’s voice. I pull away from her and she does the same, with every second I feel more and more awake. I flip around, swinging my legs off the edge of the bed and taking several deep breaths. “I’m sorry, I thought you were- I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” I shake my head roughly, trying to pull myself together enough to give a proper apology.

I can feel Rose sitting up behind me, the bed shifting with every movement. “Oh. No worries, I’m fine, you don’t have to apologize. I was just confused. Did I fall asleep here?” I glance back at her and find her sitting on her knees right behind me. Her makeup is smudged and her hair is slightly messy from sleeping. She doesn’t seem concerned about it though, her attention solely focused on me. Her eyes are filled with the now familiar gentle concern I’ve come to expect from her.

I let out a breath to try and banish some of the anxiety and confusion from my sleepy brain. “Uh, yeah. You fell asleep while we were looking through stuff about plurality.”

She chuckles lightly, her laugh melodic and very different from Jay’s. “Ah, sorry.” She gets up from the bed, stretching wide. “Shoot, I didn’t take my makeup off before I fell asleep. I should go fix this.” Sitting down at my makeup table, she begins to take off the makeup that she has on. “Are there any plans for today?” Rose asks while she removes her makeup.

I frown at that, thinking about whether we have anything going on. “Uh, give me one moment.” I leave her to handle her makeup while I head towards Jay’s room. Tentatively, I push the door open and look around. What a mess.

Turning on the light, I look around the room for Jay’s backpack. I find it in a corner, unzipping it and searching through all of the papers. Thankfully, I find what I’m looking for in his planner and not in one of the many overstuffed folders. The planner is mostly empty, but it does have some quick notes on projects that are due. What I’m looking for is tucked into a sleeve at the front of the planner.

Pulling it out, I take it and the planner back to my room. Unfolding the paper, I look at it and wince. It’s Jay’s class schedule, detailing the days, times, and rooms of his normal classes. Jay already missed a couple classes when he locked himself in his room for a couple of days, so I’ll need to figure out some way to help Rose get the information from those classes at some point. The thing that reminded me of this though, is that I know Jay has a class on Sundays just like me.

“What’s this?” Rose asks, standing up beside me to look at the paper with me. Glancing over at her, I can see that she’s removed all of her makeup. Even without the makeup though… I can still see Rose. Her bright and cheery eyes that hold a gentle kindness. Her expression mixes gently with the slight curve of her mouth into a smile that would look foreign coming from Jay. The way her eyes glance at me too as I watch her, and the slight wink she gives after a few seconds.

Seeing that, I avert my eyes away from her. Feeling slightly embarrassed and guilty at having been caught staring again. Get it together, Taylor. “It’s Jay’s schedule. You have a class that you gotta attend today. It’s just a gen-ed class, thankfully. I have one before yours, so we’ll go together a little earlier.”

She looks thoughtful at that, taking the schedule into her own hands and scanning it over. “Oh wow, I have to go to College. I didn’t even think about that.”

“Jay’s already missed a couple classes before you came around and I don’t want him to start failing in school because of what you two have been going through. I know I might be asking a lot, but…” Rose shakes her head vigorously, giving me a thumbs up. She looks over the schedule once more before folding it back up.

“It’s my life too, we both have to be responsible. Since Jay isn’t able to go to his own classes, I can go for him.” She scratches the back of her head nervously with a smile, “I just hope that I’m not too bad at them.”

Smiling, I shake my head. “You’ll do fine, Rose. I think that you’re more capable than you think.”

“Well, I guess I better get ready for school. When are we leaving?”

I glance at the clock, checking the time. “Well, that alarm is actually when I go for a run, so we have some time. I’ll go for my run and when I get back I’ll take a quick shower and get started on some breakfast. Think that will be enough time for you to get acquainted with where everything you need will be?”

“Should be plenty, Tayley! Have a good run!” As she says that, she gives me a quick hug before leaving my room and closing the door behind her. With a smile, I start getting into my running gear.

I slow to a stop as I reach the door, catching my breath. I missed my recent running and it feels good to be back to my usual routine. Out of breath and feeling slightly sweaty, I open the door to our apartment and I’m struck by the sounds of someone in the kitchen.

Carefully, I step inside, watching as Rose looks through our cupboards for something. She pulls her head out of a cupboard, pulling our measuring cup out with a look of triumph. Placing it on the counter, her head turns to look at me and her eyes go wide. She looks me up and down, whistling slightly. I feel my face flush brightly at the action, but she just smiles at me sweetly. “I didn’t quite realize just how fit you are. You look great.”

“Uh, thanks.” I mutter, trying to distract myself from my own embarrassment by looking over the counters. “Are you already done getting ready?”

“Mhmm, it wasn’t too hard actually. When I thought about the class, I knew where everything I needed would be and it was already all in the bag. Thankfully. Oh, also, I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed another one of your outfits.” She spins lightly in a dress and it fans out slightly showing off more of her slender legs. I try not to stare, pulling my eyes upward. I don’t know how to feel about the fact that my brother's body was always very close to looking pretty sexy actually. I chide myself mentally for making another comparison. Of course she’s not like Jay at all, she’s Rose.

I push that thought out of my mind, waving my hand. “Ah, yeah. Wear what you want, I don’t mind you wearing any of my clothes.”

She giggles, “Alright then. I’ll work on this food, Tayley. You go take a shower.” Nodding, I turn and make my way towards my room to grab my stuff for the day. While putting together my outfit for the day, I can’t keep my mind from drifting to Rose. It’s been hard to keep her out of my thoughts lately with everything that’s been going on.

It’s reassuring to hear that she didn’t have any trouble getting reacquainted with her school materials. It gives me hope that her classes shouldn’t be too terribly difficult. I’ll have to show her around the school anyways, just so that she knows where all of her classes are.

As I’m thinking about the logistics, I finally think about something that I hadn’t considered. What about the people that know Jay? Will they recognize Rose? The teachers will definitely have questions…

As I drag myself into the shower, I try to puzzle through the situation. As I think it through more though… it’s really not up to me. However Rose chooses to want to handle it will be how they deal with it. Thankfully, I’ll be able to be with her today just in case. I’m not able to stop worrying about it throughout my whole shower, trying to think up any possible encounter that might happen so I can be prepared for it.

Eventually, I finish up my shower and finish getting ready for the day ahead. Leaving the bathroom, I can smell something delicious wafting from the kitchen. Wandering into the kitchen, I see Rose messing with her phone from the adjacent dining room table while something bakes in the oven. She looks up as I enter, her eyes brightening once more as she sees me. “Tayley! Please tell me that you know how to open Jay’s phone. There are a ton of missed messages and I feel bad just leaving them there.”

I frown, taking the phone. I swear that I knew it at some point… I swipe at the screen with a couple possible combinations before finding the right one. “Ah, this is it.” I lock the phone again, showing it to her so she can remember it. “What’s in the oven?” I ask her as I hand her back the phone.

She glances at the oven, smiling with pride as she looks at it. “Oh! A Quiche. I looked for a recipe on the computer and it seemed easy enough with what we had. It’s got maybe twenty minutes left.”

“A… Quiche? I’ve never heard of that.” I sit down at the table beside her, looking at the phone screen as she opens up her messages app. Normally I’d give Jay his privacy, but I know that Rose won’t recognize any of the names.

She looks surprised at what I said though, looking up at me curiously. “Really? Huh… I’m not used to knowing things that you don’t!” Chuckling at that I watch as she scrolls through all of her messages, she focuses on the names first. There are four people that are messaging her and my blood goes a little cold at the last one. Looks like Mom was trying to message Jay just yesterday.

Rose notices the message and she glances over to me at the same time as I do to her. “So… your parents messaged.”

Sighing, I hug her with one arm. “They’re your parents too, you know.”

“I guess so, yeah.” She shrugs, opening the message. “Just weird to think about that when I’ve never met them.” I just nod understandingly at that. It makes sense, as weird as it is to think about. Then again, everything with her has felt strange lately. Strange in a good way, but it’s still been a lot to adjust to.

We both look at the message. “Hey Jay, I got your voicemail that you sent, but I couldn’t really understand it. You know that I’m here if you need to call again, it sounds like you’re really going through something. I know that talking is hard for you sometimes, but feel free to call me whenever in the next couple of days, okay?”

I’m silent for a couple of moments while I think about the message. The previous couple of messages from mom don’t enlighten anything about what the voicemail might have been about, but I have a feeling it might be related to the reason he holed himself up in his room for a couple of days. “Your mom seems nice,” Rose says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Chuckling, I give her a pointed look. “Our mom is pretty nice, usually, yes. Dad can seem pretty distant, but he’s usually pretty gentle in actuality. Mom is the one that can get… intense sometimes. She never raises her voice, but she will definitely let you know if she disagrees with you.”

She nods, tapping away from the message. “I think I’ll try and let Jay handle that call. I’m worried about messing something like that up.”

She opens up another message and we both read it. “Hey Jay, I heard what happened with Jenna. If you need my notes from the last class you missed, I got a copy from the prof for you. You know if you need anything, I got you bro.” I look at the name of the messenger and I don’t recognize the name. Tyler… he’s not one of Jay’s friends that I recognize.

“Who’s Jenna?” Rose asks, looking at me expectantly.

“That’s Jay’s girlfriend…” I say, reading the text over. What happened with his girlfriend?

Rose looks back at the screen, startled suddenly. “I have a girlfriend?”

I smirk at that, shaking my head. “So our mom isn’t yours, but his girlfriend is?”

She pouts, looking at me cutely. She looks absolutely adorable like that and I have to keep myself from laughing more. “It’s just shocking, that’s all! I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Some things feel like an obligation and some don’t.” She stops pouting, her eyes falling slightly as she just stares at the phone. “I hadn’t even had a chance to think about relationships yet. What are we gonna do if I want to date somebody? What if we… fall in love with different people? What if I hate his current girlfriend? Or… what if she hates that we’re plural now…”

I don’t have any answers for her, so I just pull her close. She doesn’t hesitate to pull me closer, nuzzling her head into the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to answer any of those questions, Rose. You know that I’ll always be here for you and I’m doing my best to help you figure everything out.” She doesn’t reply, just nodding into my shoulder.

Pulling away after a moment, she takes a couple of deep breaths. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you.”

Shaking my head, I gently pat the top of hers. She leans into the touch slightly and I gently muss it. “It’s no problem at all.”

Turning back to the phone, she looks at the message one more time. “Do you know who this Tyler is?”

“Not a clue, sorry.”

Sighing, she taps away from that message too. “I find myself just worrying about every person that Jay knew. I sure hope that some of them are cool, I really don’t want to ruin things for Jay, but I also can’t just pretend to be Jay every day. That would be hell for me.” I can only nod in sympathy, gently rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. She moves onto the next message and this one is from one of Jay’s friends that I recognize.

It’s one of his childhood friends that I’m very familiar with, Deliah. “Hey, Jay… I heard what Jenna did. That wasn’t cool of her and you know I’m definitely on your side. We should hang out sometime, my treat. We can get some good food and watch a dumb movie like we always do. Please let me know that you’re okay as soon as you can though, okay? I’m worried about you.”

I sigh, smiling at the message. “At least I know that Deliah’s still a good girl.”

“You know her then? She seems pretty nice.”

“Yeah, they grew up together. They’ve been best friends forever. She’s come over plenty of times. I’m worried about whatever it is that Jenna did to Jay now though.” Thinking about it, it seems like it might have been a little more than just a breakup at this point.

Rose looks nervous, nodding in agreement. “I wonder what could have been bad enough for… well, me, to happen. Cause it seems like too much of a coincidence to have just been out of nowhere.” A ding sounds from the nearby microwave and Rose jumps slightly. “Oh! The quiche is done. Let me get it.” She starts to get out of the chair, but I lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Let me get it. There’s one more message for you to check.” She sits down hesitantly, nodding with a small smile. She turns to her phone again while I pull the oven mitts off the counter to grab the Quiche. Carefully, I pull it out of the oven and I’m struck by how much more delicious it smells with the oven door open. I carry it to the table, tossing one of the oven mitts underneath the pie dish as I set it down. I make sure to grab some plates and forks, as well as the pie server that Rose had left out. I smile at the fact that she’s starting to acquaint herself with the kitchen and where everything is.

As I’m serving the Quiche, which seems to be some sort of savory eggy and cheesy pie, I look over to Rose’s face. She’s frowning as she looks at her phone, turning it off and placing it face down on the table after a few seconds. I stop serving the Quiche, walking around behind her and pulling her close. She leans her head back into me and I glance at her phone briefly. “What’s wrong, Rose? What did the message say?”

She shakes her head, keeping close to me and holding my arms close to her as she responds. “I’d really rather not say. It was just some fake friend of Jay’s being a big bitch. I’ll be okay.”

“Mmmm,” I say, squeezing her tightly once more, “If you’re sure.” I return to serving up my own slice of Quiche, sliding a plate over to her. “This looks amazing by the way, I’m so excited to try it.”

She brightens at that, looking more full of energy. “I hope it’s good! I tried really hard, but… well, I’ve kinda never cooked before.” She giggles that beautiful and slightly airy giggle that she has and it puts a smile on my face.

Without any further hesitation, I dig into my slice. Somewhat unsurprisingly, it’s delicious. Only somewhat unsurprising, I do have to remind myself that this is her first time cooking ever. Jay doesn’t usually cook, and he definitely never cooks anything this elaborate. It’s just one more thing about Rose that reminds me just how different she is from Jay. I try to push the thought away, not wanting to linger on it. I savour the taste, enjoying this moment. I’ve made plenty of memories with Jay growing up, it’s been nice to make memories with Rose. Every special moment we’ve had together since she first started fronting has stuck in my mind recently. Doing her makeup for the first time, watching her first movie together, researching her situation with her, and now this too.

Smiling at the memories, I can’t help but feel grateful to Rose. As much as I’ve been helping her with everything, spending time with her has definitely helped me forget about my recent breakup too. Getting to know Rose has been cathartic in the strangest way. I make a mental note to do something nice for her sometime soon. Maybe take her out to eat somewhere nice that I’ve never taken Jay, I’m sure she’d love a new experience that doesn’t have anything to do with Jay.

I go for another bite, only to find that I’ve finished my piece. Surprised, I look at the rest of the quiche hungrily and reach over to get another slice. Rose giggles and I look over at her, my face slightly red in embarrassment. She covers her mouth with the back of her hand, still chuckling slightly as she talks. “I was worried because you were so deep in thought, but it seems you liked the Quiche after all.”

Scooping another slice out of the dish and plopping it onto my plate, I take a brief moment to respond before digging in once more. “It’s so fucking tasty, Rose. I could honestly eat this every day for breakfast.” She continues to chuckle for a bit, slowly eating her own slice of Quiche. Her smile is bright and it helps reassure me that she’ll be able to handle everything that’s been happening. She feels confident and in control in a way that Jay has never been able to pull off. It’s… admirable.

As the two of us finish our breakfast, I look at the clock. Rose gets up from the table, taking her plate into the kitchen. Bringing mine after her, I take the plate from her hand before she can start washing it. “I got this, you did the cooking after all.”

She smiles sweetly at me, resting her head briefly against my arm affectionately. “Okay, I’ll go do my hair and finish getting ready. Then we can head out to our classes.” I give her a goofy salute before turning the sink on. She slinks away to the bathroom while I get to cleaning up after our breakfast.

Wistful-Shiver

Hey. I'm still kicking. Updates infrequent because life is just like that, but updates are coming.

Let's see... as for news, there's a couple things. Progress on Blood and Wine's sequel is started. I'll start posting when I have more chapters ready. Couple other stories with a couple chapters tapped out, but the one I'm focusing on finishing first has to do with a trans girl accidentally dating her estranged aunt. It's closest to completion, so if that's your thing look forward to that sometime in the next month. Hopefully.

That's pretty much it. Thanks for sticking around I guess.