Chapter 12
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Aiden

I'm nervous about meeting Jack. I'm not sure what it's all about. He said he was leaving.

Maybe he wants to discuss our relationship. We are in a relationship, right? Or…

If everything is so easy and simple for Jack that he did not even tell me he was flying away, then maybe this is all we'll have?

Was I hoping for more?

I thought he was perfect.

Did I start to expect something from him?

Why would he be in relationship with a kid like me?

It is clear that I am neither the first nor the last one for Jack. I was just too absorbed in my feelings because it was all new to me. Did I really think that everything would be so sweet and simple?

...

Well, yeah… I actually did...

Maybe I didn't think it through... Maybe I didn't speak aloud about it, but I wanted to. I wanted to know that I had found someone I could rely on. A friend, a protector, a lover...

I can feel the pain building up inside.

I had a lot of “first time”things with Jack...

But maybe I'm exaggerating. Should I listen him out? Ask directly?

Yes, I will not jump to conclusions.

I'll just come to see him tonight.

It looks like a real storm is about to begin. Maybe I should come early.

I leave the house and go behind the barn. But it's not Jack waiting me there.

“Jack isn't coming,” Brent says. “Let's go home.”

Confused, I follow my brother.

Why? Why did he interfere like that? Did he overhear our conversation? Or was it Jack who asked him to do that...

Then I don't understand anything at all.

The sky is completely black, the wind beats violently against the window. We sit silently in the dark.

“I'm sorry, Aiden. But it really will be better this way. I…”

“Shut up, Brent.”

“Don’t be mad at me. I'm trying to do my best.”

Why don't you ask me what’s best for me?!”

"Do you really think Jack is the best for you? Tomorrow he’ll fly away, and you and I will stay here, in front of our hazy future. Is this really what you need now?”

This damn future again! But why didn't Jack say a word to me? Just ran away?

His perfect image is cracking. And all my trust turns into a pile of shards. It hurts me.

It hurts like never before. I've never fallen in love before. I've never broken up with someone or been dumped.

Jack, you took away everything I could have the first time with someone else, and that makes you a person I won't be able to erase from my memory. But I realized it too late.

Because I trusted you like a stupid boy, I trusted and believed in... love... or what?..

I think he had a good time.

"Aiden..." Brent says again. “I don’t want this to stand between us. Try to understand me, I beg you. Jack is eight years older than you, tomorrow he'll fly to California, where he'll graduate and probably stay. I can understand that you liked him, and he obviously, liked you too. But think for yourself, where does it all go? Do you want this? And if so, then I won't hold you back.”

I'm not mad at Brent anymore, it just hurts, that's all.

"Did Jack... did he say anything to you?" I make one last attempt to justify my hopes.

“I told him that for you it all might seem more serious than for him. He left.”

That's it. Now there's only pain.

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