The knocking noise grew louder, echoing across the room.
"Give me a few more minutes!" That is what I wanted to shout, but my mouth was too tired to move.
The knocking continued.
It was getting annoying. It's making my head hurt.
These people, I swear.
Can't they leave me alone for once?
The first thing they do in the morning is to go ahead and kill my mood.
I got off the sheets and sluggishly walked towards the door.
And I kicked it.
As hard as I can.
A roundhouse kick. I saw it on TV once and envisioned myself doing it.
The sound was so loud it made me worry a bit that the door would shatter right then and there, but it didn't.
Ouch. My joints, which saw little to no action for practically my whole life, were aching. My foot is burning with pain.
The person behind the door got the message, however. They stopped and walked away, the sound of their footsteps fading.
Sigh.
I took my phone that was hidden under my pillow and checked the time and day.
Monday. 7:10 A.M.
Good. It's still early. There's still enough time to do my morning routine.
I went outside my cramped room and went to the bathroom just across the hallway. Our apartment is small.
I stared at my reflection.
The sleep-deprived face that was staring right back at me was hideous. My hair is a mess. My eyes looked unhealthy, a result of staying up all night until late in the morning.
"Ahh... I have bags under my eyes again..."
I've gotten only two hours of sleep, for goodness sake. My gaming addiction is getting worse.
But can you blame me?
So much has happened over these past few days. Video games and manga were my only form of escapism from this messed-up reality.
"I'll try to sneak some snooze time during class. I'm sure Miss Minamino won't mind..."
A quick shower made me partially awake, but only for now.
After changing into my uniform, I was feeling lightheaded again when I arrived at the dining area.
The female parent was watching the news on the couch. The male parent was at the table reading the newspaper. I sat across him, said a quick thanks, and began eating.
It was pancakes.
I think it's common in movies and shows to show how these circular-shaped dough abominations are practically food from the heavens, but to me, they're the plainest, most boring breakfast meal to have ever come into existence.
It didn't even taste good. It was like I was chewing on sawdust.
But to me, this was normal.
Pancakes weren't my type of food in the first place. It also didn't help how these particular ones were rubbish.
"These pancakes are rubbish," The male parent said out loud. At least I was polite enough not to complain about it, but he went ahead and said I anyways. "Why do they taste this bad? I work every single day to provide for this family, and this is what you're going to reward me with?"
...
"Don't blame my own cooking on your incompetence," The female parent spat back. "Working hard? Do you have the right to make that declaration when we're living in this run-down joke of a house? Why don't you ask the multiple beer bottles you've been hiding in the storage room where the money for the food went? Don't expect me to cook anything good when you can't even provide for us properly."
......
"How in the world can I do well in work if the food being provided for me is crap?! You expect me to earn pools of money when my breakfast doesn't even motivate me a bit?! You're the reason why I can't earn a promotion!"
.........
"Here you go again, always passing the buck! When will you ever learn to be accountable for your actions?! I'm sick of living like this every day!"
............
The pancakes suddenly tasted bitter.
Maybe it needed some chocolate syrup.
This was my typical life. Those two would begin shouting early in the morning, ruining my mood.
Tsk.
Witnessing this again was pissing me off.
I quickly grabbed my bag and headed outside, slamming the door behind me.
A small declaration that I was off for school. Though I doubt they would even notice.
"Ah... I forgot to comb my hair."
I touched the mess on my forehead.
The comb wasn't in my bag. I forgot to bring it.
I guess I'll have to finger comb it again.
The seasons were quickly changing. Last week it was still summer, but now the sun didn't seem to be as hot as before. In fact, the air was starting to get a bit cold.
Fall is approaching.
I should've brought a jacket to school, at least. My sleep-deprived arms are being exposed to this weather.
At this rate, I'm probably gonna freeze to death in my classroom.
As I crossed the gates of our school, some girls were eyeing me. They were even whispering something to themselves.
They were probably mocking me about my appearance, but I didn't care.
Words mean nothing to me anymore.
But, as I was thinking these things -
"Aooooooooooiiiiiiii!!"
A little blob attacked me from behind, hugging me.
There was only one person I knew who had the audacity to do something so embarrassing in public. To confirm, I turned around.
It was none other than Chisa Sakurano.
"Good morning, bestie!" She greeted me with a bright smile.
Truly worthy of the title The Lightbulb, bestowed upon her by the departed.
"G... Good Morning..." I let out a weak reply.
"You look sleepy again, Aoi! Jeez! You need to have more hours of sleep, or else you'll look like an old woman in no time!" She scolded me with a pout.
"Sure... I'll do that tonight, maybe."
"Mhm! That's the spirit!"
She let go of my back and walked beside me.
"........"
Honestly, I don't know what to say to her.
We've only started hanging out for about a year. I don't know that much about her, other than the fact that she's a lively girl who probably isn't that rich.
Plus, I doubt we'd be walking like this, side to side, if it wasn't for her.
We both glanced near the entrance gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of her wheelchair coming in.
But of course, she wasn't there.
She'll never cross it again.
The very girl who dragged me, who was deep in the abyss of social interaction, and included me in her circle of friends.
Why?
I ask myself this question every day.
Why me?
I have no redeeming qualities.
I am not good-looking.
My personality is bad.
And my life is worse.
Not even the other social outcasts in my class ever bothered to glance at me.
I was that one girl who everybody simply ignored.
Except for one.
One day, she straight up went up to me in her wheelchair and said, "Hi, my name is Hisami Enatsu. Wanna be friends?"
I was thrown off-guard by this single action, which led me to make my first friend in this school.
At first, I cursed myself at this stupid blunder of mine, but since then she never failed to greet me in the morning and call me when they were eating lunch together. Before I knew it, I was being pulled into her circle of friends.
Having friends was a new experience for me, who spent the majority of her life living alone.
I was experiencing new things.
Having fun.
Bonding together.
It was starting to get addictive even, and I was always the one who arranged our daily trips to the tea shop after school to spend more time than them.
It was even last week that, for the first time in my life, I had a genuine laugh.
It was a strange sensation. The happiness seemed to be leaving my mouth that time, and I was unable to stop it.
But it felt good.
The emotions that I couldn't feel at home, I felt in our little circle.
In a sense, it became my form of escapism from the harsh reality that I am living in.
It was too good to be true.
Until, of course, that day.
That fateful Saturday, when we were informed of the news in the hospital hallways late into the night.
We all stood there, not knowing how to process the information.
She died.
She did not survive her operation.
I couldn't remember a lot about what happened that day, but there was one thing that stuck to me.
I cried.
It was different from those times where the male parent would hit me.
It was a new form of pain, that seemed to originate from my heart.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts!
Why does it hurt?!
The tears wouldn't stop flowing that night.
Even in the end, she continued to make me feel emotions that I've never felt before.
"Hmm? By the way, have you seen Kaede?" Chisa suddenly asked me, snapping me back to reality.
"No."
"I wonder where she could be... Usually, she'd join us on the way to school, but she's nowhere to be found..."
"........."
"Maybe she went on ahead. Hmm..."
Chisa gave off a doubtful face.
It's not like I know where that girl is, anyway. There's nothing we can do about it.
The opening ceremony went on as usual.
Then, the principal delivered an announcement in the end concerning the passing of a student. A moment of silence was called, and the whole gymnasium was shrouded in it. Only the sounds of nature echoed across the building.
My thoughts suddenly drifted to the departed.
Hisami Enatsu.
The girl who saved me and showed me a new side of life that I've never experienced before.
For that, I am eternally grateful to her.
I silently prayed to some god out there who is overseeing her now that, wherever she is right now, whether in heaven or reborn in some other life, she finds the happiness she deserves.
