Billy’s Big Day!
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"Billy, after much deliberation, we have decided to give you the promotion. Congrats, Mr. Manager."

 

"Thank you, Miss Wilkie. I will not let the company down."

 

"... yes, of course." After a single polite handshake, Miss Wilkie walked away.

 

For a moment, Billy stood still. 'Did this... really happen?'

 

 A decade without rest, spent tirelessly proving his worth to the company. A decade where every word and action was calculated. A decade where all his waking moments were spent solving the mundane bullshit that arose in a shitty office building; all while shoving his true feelings deep into the recesses of his soul, where it could do nothing but fester and rot. 

 

And that decade was gone.

 

‘Is this real? Did I… really do it? ... No, not yet.’ Billy sat down. He sat down in the manager's chair. Black leather, electronic heating, electronic back massage, a microwave, Bluetooth speakers, and an interactive map that monitored the location and actions of all 1248 employees of Servus Commercia Incorporated Office 109; All were features of the manager's chair. From this chair, one could look out a special window.

 

From the window of the highest room of the tallest building in the city, one’s sight was limitless. Every man, from the most desperately impoverished to the most spoiled and wealthy, could not even hope to escape your piercing gaze. The bright rays of sunlight from this window cast the Manager’s Office in gold.

 

Looking at a view that offered endless horizons, Billy’s gaze found rest upon a single helicopter. This helicopter was flying far above even the tallest tower, carrying Miss Wilkie out of reach. 

 

 Billy abruptly got up from the Manager’s Chair. ‘Yes, I did it. I crushed all the bugs and vermin in my way to reach this point! I am here by my own effort; my own two hands!’

 

Billy found himself in front of the Manager’s Door, a door he once considered untouchable. ‘I am the Manager!’

 

His hand gripped the solid gold Manager’s Handle of the Manager’s Door with a powerful grip; a grip only found amongst the mightiest of warriors. 

 

‘And I have only higher to climb!’

 


 

Outside the office, employee six hundred and forty nine seemed rather shaken. “Hey Sally, you think we should be worried?”

The object of concern for employee six hundred and forty nine, along with the other twelve hundred and forty eight employees gathered to greet the new manager, was the ominous shaking of the Manager’s Handle. The Manager’s Handle had been vigorously shaking for the past five minutes and thirty five seconds.

employee six hundred and fifty shook her head. “Nah, it should be fine. If it was an earthquake we would already be dea-”

 

And then the giggles started.

 

These faint, nearly inaudible expressions of glee cut through the gossip like a warrior’s knife through the vital arteries of his mortal enemies. An intense fear filled the hearts of all twelve hundred and forty eight employees of Servus Comercia Incorporated Office 109. The air grew tense, tense enough to slice through with a knife soaked in the blood from the vital arteries of a bloodthirsty warrior’s mortal enemies. 

 

Why, you might ponder, would these faint laughs cause such an intense reaction? Simple. 

 

All employees knew Billy.

 


 

Suddenly, the Manager’s Door opened. All twelve hundred and forty eight employees present found themselves bathing in the holy rays emitted from the Manager’s Window. The resulting enlightenment from these golden rays of hope was almost enough to burn away the tension and fear.

 

Almost.

 

Billy stepped out of the manager's office. His office. He found his, now former, coworkers gathered around; pretending to be proud of Billy's accomplishment. While their masks were going up, Billy’s had long melted away. The plastered face of a diligent and respectable employee was cast aside. Replacing it was a smug grin; The smuggiest of grins, one might say. 

 

Billy crossed his arms, and slowly walked down the central hallway. As Billy passed rows upon rows of employees, stiff with fear, his grin grew only wider, and his steps grew only bolder. ‘Finally! These pathetic worms are now aware of their proper place in the world; far below me!’

 

As Billy passed, each employee fought through the fear clutching their minds to give a polite congratulations. This formal charade would soon find its end with one man’s foolish mistake.


 

Employee five hundred and seventy nine found himself awake; staring into the eyes of the slimy piece of shit from upper accounting. The man snorted, and reached for his apple. "What the hell ya want, assho-" but then he remembered. Billy was the manager now

 

Employee five hundred and seventy nine began to tremble.

 

Billy smiled, looking deep into the employee’s eyes. “Hello, employee five hundred and seventy nine! I just had a few questions for ya~” 

 

Employee five hundred and seventy nine began to cry. 'So... this is how I die.'

 

Billy turned away; his eyes tracing the path he had walked. “Now, I know you are really busy right now! Truly, your work ethic is commendable! Second to none; except me, of course. Even now, you diligently find time to work, when what you are supposed to be doing, “ Billy turned and stared right into the man’s eyes, “is congratulating me.” Billy turned away again. “I feel absolutely awful about this, I understand that you are really, truly busy, but I require some assistance. You don’t mind helping me out, do ya?”

 

“O-Of course, I am always available to help you out, Mr. Manager sir! ”

 

Billy shrugged. “I know.” Billy took a glance at his watch. “You see, we have a mess to clean up, and I just can’t seem to find anyone able to help out! You can handle this, right? ”

 

“Absolutely sir! Anything for you! Where is this mess? I will clean it up right away!”

 

Billy grabbed the apple from the employee’s desk, took a bite, and dropped the apple. Then he stomped. Hard. 

 

“The mess is located right by employee five hundred and seventy nine’s desk. I am sure you can find it. Pick it up.”

 


 

After a brief journey Billy found himself at the final destination for the day; The Manager’s Balcony. It could be said that this was the most beautiful destination throughout the whole city. The Manager’s Balcony was a mythical land above the smog and filth of the lower city. Here, a person could finally relax. This balcony was peaceful. The only noise up on the balcony was the calming breeze, the chirping of birds, the distant whizz of a helicopter and… was that the yelp of an animal in pain? 

 

‘I almost can’t believe it! I can finally begin the next step of my journey; I shall become the greatest manager to grace this planet!’

 

Billy was obviously not like other managers. He was not some power hungry narcissist, oh no. His soul was pure; noble, even. It could be said with confidence that Billy was a hero. That incident with the sleeping employee? Billy was just granting the fatherly love necessary for someone to grow and improve. 

 

‘Through the use of kindness and hard work I shall reform these lazy slobs into productive employees. With my genius intellect and kind heart, I am one hundred percent confident I shall bring a revolution in this company! This attitude of mine is truly heroic! I am the type of man that can only be compared to someone like… Jesus! Yes, of course; I am the Jesus of a new era! Perhaps they will make a religion about me, like that Gandhi guy!’

 

Staring out at the endless ocean of grey, finally above it all, Billy couldn’t help but let his eyes tear up a bit. 

 

‘I did it! A decade of tireless work has brought me to the top of this office; And to think I would even become the Manager on my eighteenth birthday!’ Bathing in sunlight at the top of the world and filled with pride, Billy could only think one thing: 

 

‘This is it; the point in my life where everything changes! I will only find myself climbing higher and higher from here onwards! Things can only get better!’

 

And then he was squashed by an elephant. 

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