I woke up in a cave. I was placed high up overlooking drunk men, who lay on the floor beneath me. The smell of alcohol that filled the air almost made me feel sick.
If I had to describe the smell, it would be equivalent to people in a bar drinking three bars worth of alcohol.
My hand was tied behind my back, which made it harder to move.
“You are finally awake, hurry and get me out of here…” a familiar voice called out to me. It was the goddess?...
She was dressed in skimpy dancer clothes. The ones you usually see Arabian belly dancers wear but this is more revealing than that. It was very much see through
“What are you wearing?”
“Those bastards had me dress like this and made me serve them alcohol the whole night. It was humiliating… I will never forgive them for that…”
Cobra… I am going to kill you for knocking me out… I can’t believe I missed such a thing.
“What are you waiting for? Get me out of here!” She yelled.
She really has forgotten that she never gave me a cheat skill.
I sighed, before getting to work. If this was the hideout of the most powerful bandit group around then there must be some useful treasures around.
Luckily, it looked like those fools below were all drunk. In this world, using skills while drunk never works out well. It will either not activate, miss, or worse... backfire on you.
This gives me the advantage.
My first action would be to activate the fireball and burn the ropes behind me?
< Fire Ball > < Error: Skill Blocked >
My skill won’t activate. Why won’t my skill activate?
“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you freeing me already?” the goddess asked me
“My skills won't activate…”
“That because of the skill blocking rope they used to tie your hand's dummy. Use your cheat skills.”
There is a skill blocking rope! Why didn’t I know that… More importantly
“You never gave me a cheat skill you dummy!” I yelled
“Eh!?”
“You seriously forgot… you useless dummy…”
“Stop calling me a dummy… Is that any way to treat a goddess…”
“What goddess? All I see is a dummy…”
“Why you!”
“I see that you are awake,” Thunderbolt said as he walked towards us with Cobra nearby.
He had a huge smug on his face. In one hand I could see him holding a cup of alcohol and in the other his hammer.
He walked towards the goddess.
“Tell me. How did a man like you end with a beauty like her?” he asked.
“I was very unlucky.”
He burst into laughter after hearing my reply.
“Unlucky you say. I can think of no less than twenty nobles who would love nothing more than to add someone like her to their collection.”
“Eh? Collection?” the goddess uttered with a puzzled expression
I sighed before thinking, She is both dumb and pure… what an unlikely combination
“Don’t worry sweetheart. I will be sure to teach you everything you need to know before I sell you off.” Thunderbolt said before licking his lips.
He was clearly enjoying this.
“Sell me off? You can’t do that…”
“And why not?”
Please don’t say it… Please don’t say anything…
“Because I am a goddess…”
She said it…
“Oh… You are one of those high and mighty nobility huh…”
Safe… Now I only need to…
“No. I am an actual goddess, and that over there is the hero.”
This idiot…
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Here… Check my status…”
“Hmm… Oh…”
“What is it, boss…?” Cobra asked after seeing his boss eyes open wide
“She telling the truth.”
“Really? Then?”
“Looks like we have hit the jackpot. I wonder what the demon king will pay for her.”
“Eh?” was the only thing the goddess uttered. She looked puzzled by his words. “Wait a minute… We are here to save your world from the demon king. You should be helping us. No. You should be bowing down and praising me for taking time to come down to this lowly place to save you.”
“Is that so?”
“It is! Tell them Sojuro”
Both Cobra and Thunderbolt looked my way. All I could do is shrug my shoulders in response.
I knew she was dumb but now on top of dead-weight I can add, ‘not a people person' to the list.
We are the captured party here. You don’t act high and mighty in these kinds of situations. On top of that, I am pretty sure the first goddess and myself explained the importance of keeping a low profile.
We were lucky that the only people who found out our true identities were allies but now this idiot is blabbering like an idiot.
I sighed mentally before looking at the positive.
Never underestimate the skills of a pirate when it comes to tying and untying knots. These idiots tied my hand behind me.
Never tie your enemy’s hands behind their back. It makes it harder to tell what they are up to – reincarnation rule 55
I have by now untied myself. While these fools are distracted I will make my move.
Thunderbolt and Cobra seem to be the main fighting force of this bandit group. Once I take care of them then I can proceed to take care of the rest.
Here I go…
“Now I am going to fuck you…”
“Eh?”
“Eh!”
While I was busy making my plans. It seems the situation had changed over at the goddess side.
“Wait… If it is money…”
“Are kidding me. Whatever you have on you. It wouldn't even be half what the demon kill will pay me when I hand you over.”
“Wait… You can’t do this… I am a goddess”
“Exactly… How many men can brag about having fucked a goddess… My name will go down in history.”
“No. Sojuro do something…”
As the goddess called out to me I found myself in a dilemma. I pretty much know what I will do to overpower these two but…
There is no point in rushing these things. I haven’t yet gathered all the facts. There might be a large force outside this cave. Yep… I better play it cool and watch where this I going. Yep…
Although that was what I was thinking the truth of the matter was
THE GODDESS IS GOING TO BE RAPED AND I PLAN ON WATCHING. WTF, DID HAVE THIS KIND OF FETISH BEFORE?
He should use this chance to educate the goddess.
That's the spirit! You can't do anything reckless if you don't know anything about your enemy... All you have to do is sit and watch...
THE GODDESS IS GOING TO BE RAPED AND I PLAN ON WATCHING. WTF, DID HAVE THIS KIND OF FETISH BEFORE?
… what? What happened to the guy who suffered through 50 reincarnations, from abuse and dying just to kill the demon lord? Now that I think about it, since I have recently acquired a second braincell, why is he being such a nice person to the goddess? I don't really understand and tbh this is the real mystery. Why would he not just punish the goddess, of course not enough to kill her? What makes him not force her to behave?
I also don't know why this has a comedy tag, there is nothing funny about spoiled brats, and even more so, when no one does anything against them.
The recent plotholes or rather weird pacing also don't make it better
dark side avenger
i rather leave her to bandit and let them have fun with then do a research to create spell or item with magic WMD, how kill god and a virus while creating a hideout base then place bomb at those leecher god holy place and let them burn by WMD and virus because god doesn't exist without follower and god are fragile without their worshipper then do finnisher move and do it with being who take oath to kill goddess, etc while do worse of the worse to them
Just a f*cking cuck.
Ur an idiot
@pincho ik n so?
@Oink lol it was mosty in jest. So contrary to everyone else Ifound it funny.
@pincho srry I hv read too many tropes similar to this n maso virgin jap humor does not amuse me any more
@Oink oh Iagree, I read till the end then dropped it. I will not continue the story ever. While his dialog and story itself is unique, so is talking to my 12 yr old daughter. Nothing else here is unique or even slightly different from the typical as you said.
@pincho Wait srsly?! You dropped and found it generic too?