A/N: Alright, some NSFW content ahead, but not the kind you’re looking forward to though… Sorry. D:

 

Beta: Jeannette

 

The next day Jun woke up to two weights on him, one over his chest and one over his waist. He looked down at the arms on his body and tried to push them off, but they only increased in weight and pressure. Undeterred, Jun stuck two fingers up Eli’s nostrils.

 

“Baby!” Eli tumbled out of bed, exposing that part of his naked body when he stood back up. His face bright red, Jun was about to cover his eyes when someone else did it for him.

 

“Why are you naked?” Azel growled from behind, his breath lightly caressing the back of Jun’s neck, making him shiver.

 

“I like to sleep naked.”

 

“You weren’t naked last night…” Jun muttered. His eyes were still covered but the image was still ingrained in his mind. 

 

“I got naked after you fell asleep.” The satisfied grin could be heard through his voice.

 

Outside the bedroom, the doorbell rang. Azel glared at Eli. “You. Put some clothes on.” Then he dragged Jun outside with him and settled him on the sofa in the living room. 

 

“What?” Azel opened the door with a sullen face. Both parties were surprised to see each other.

 

“Sergeant Major Barton…” The soldier at the door saluted with some surprise. It was the first time he’d ever seen the sergeant major in such casual wear with just a loose t-shirt and pants, without wearing his glasses.

 

(A/N: Highest rank for combat medic maybe, don’t take my word for it though.)

 

Azel nodded. “Your purpose?”

 

“I’m here on behalf of General Charles Erwin. He asks that Mr. Jun Taylor meet him at his residence for an important discussion.”

 

“Alright.” Without further words, Azel closed the door on the soldier.

 

|System, who is Charles Erwin again?|

 

|Host, that’s male lead #1, the main wife—er, husband—of the female protagonist’s harem!|

 

|Oh.|

 

Was the female protagonist making a move on him? But he hadn’t done anything to provoke her in the past month. He’d stayed out of sight, avoided her and the harem members, and had been pretty low-key. Well, that last part had been proven difficult with the lighthouse beacon named Eli. But even with the zombie tide, the star of the show had been Eli, not him. Was that why? 

 

“Are you going?” Azel sat down next to Jun.

 

“Don’t I have to? It’s the General…” 

 

The bedroom door opened and Eli sauntered out to settle down on the other side of Jun. Very naturally, he put an arm around his shoulders. “Baby, no one can make you do what you don’t want to do as long as I’m here.”

 

Azel frowned. Eli sure had gotten full of himself because he made such a stupid mistake. Azel was prepared to make it up to Jun for the rest of his life. “It’s up to you.” 

 

From the corner of his eyes, Jun saw Azel reaching out to pat his head and dodged. Unaffected, Azel’s hand casually landed on Jun’s thigh instead, rubbing it a few times. Jun’s eyebrows and lips twitched. These guys were always taking advantage of him, making it very difficult to draw a line. He wasn’t the original Jun Taylor they were in love with…

 

|Are you perhaps jealous, Host?|

 

|No.|

 

|Well, you seem to share some similarities to the original, so—|

 

|I don’t like that either.|

 

|Why?|

 

|It makes me uncomfortable.|

 

‘Like I’m someone’s replacement.’

 

|Don’t worry, dearest Host. You are never anyone’s replacement.|

 

“Let’s go.” Jun decided. What was there to be scared of when he had the ultimate shield Eli and the accessory shield Azel? At that moment, he saw Azel’s eyes for the first time, a startling crimson red. 

 

“You must feel uncomfortable.” Having noticed Jun’s gaze on his eyes, Azel went to find his glasses and put them back on. 

 

Before he could, Jun grabbed his arm. “Wait.” Azel paused and allowed him to look at his eyes some more. After a while, Jun smiled and patted the man’s cheek. “If you don’t need glasses, don’t wear them. Your eyes—they’re pretty cool.”

 

After saying so, Jun went on his way to get ready, leaving Azel behind to reminisce over his past stupidity. Those words, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard them, but the last time had been over 12 years ago.

 

When their trio reached the home base of the female protagonist and rang the doorbell, no one answered. Eli, being the shameless man that he is, tried the doorknob and it opened.

 

“These people sure are lax.” He commented. “Shall we go in?”

 

Azel didn’t respond and walked right in, just as shameless. The further they went inside, the more they heard some strange noises from behind one of the doors. Some muffled grunting and groaning could be heard.

 

“… Zombies?” By habit, Jun reached for his crossbow but couldn’t find it, remembering he hadn’t brought it with him.

 

“Baby, it’s not zombies.” Eli chuckled.

 

Having reached where the noise was loudest, they saw the door was slightly ajar enough to peek in. Before Azel could stop him, Jun had already snuck a look and froze.

 

‘M-my virgin eyes…’

 

|I highly doubt your eyes are virgin, dearest Host.|

 

(click spoiler tag for NSFW)

 

 

“What a show.” Eli covered Jun’s eyes and leaned in closer to whisper, “Want to try what they’re doing?”

 

Jun, who was still debating with System 00 whether his eyes were virgin or not: “…”

 

|I’ve only seen gay porn so…|

 

|…| The system went offline.

 

Azel shoved Eli’s face away and pulled Jun into his arms, replacing the other man’s hand with his. Then they made their way back to the living room and sat down on a sofa with Jun in the middle, who was still trying to erase what he had seen, particularly the vigorous pumping of the male members…

 

Eli leaned over and coquettishly rested his head on Jun’s shoulders. “Still thinking about it?”

 

“… No.”

 

“If you’re really interested…” Azel inhaled and palmed Jun’s cheeks to face him before leaning in for a light kiss. “We can do it.”

 

|Oh no, dearest Host has gone offline!|

 

|… Shut up. Didn’t you go offline?| System 00 went back to his offline corner.

 

“No…”

 

Eli pulled Jun back to his side and held him in his arms. “We don’t need you, Azel. Jun and I can do it on our own.”

 

Azel clenched his fists and glared at the other man. Then he showed a gentle, almost pleading face to Jun. “Babe…”

 

Pushing against Eli’s chest, Jun sat up straight. Charles Erwin had just entered the living room looking refreshed and properly dressed. Following him were other members of the harem, looking equally well pleasured, and the female protagonist, dressed in a white chiffon dress, appearing innocent as if she hadn’t just been fornicating with several men.

 

Charles Erwin was looking up and down at Jun and he flinched at the disdain he saw in those eyes. “If I didn’t know for a fact that you’re a man, I’d have mistaken you for a girl.”

 

|What!? How dare he insult you, Host!? You’re much prettier than any girl!|

 

|… That doesn’t make me feel better.|

 

Today, Jun was wearing a light pink spaghetti strap dress. Paired with his short, fluffy hair and pale skin he looked very cute. If Eli could, he would give Jun some black cat ears to wear but that suggestion had already been rejected several times.

 

It was a fact that Jun enjoyed crossdressing. Wearing pretty clothes made him happy, but he still liked menswear. He had always been thankful for his androgynous looks, being able to dress in both men’s and women’s clothes well. Having people question if he was a handsome girl or a pretty boy was something he prided himself in. Being mistaken for a girl, though, was never his intention.

 

“What bullshit are you talking about? He’s obviously a man.” Eli scoffed.

 

Azel, who had mistaken Jun for a girl in the past then mistook Dahlye for Jun and thought they were the same person, coughed. “Yes, he’s clearly a man.”

 

Jun, with his arms crossed, leaned back against the sofa with his legs spread out. Underneath the dress was some boy shorts that were visible to everyone looking.

 

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Though he directed the question at Charles, his eyes were focused on Dahlye.

 

The female protagonist couldn’t control herself and demanded: “Give Azel back to me. He’s mine.”

 

“… Pfft.” Jun laughed and his eyes curved into crescent shapes, making him look extra adorable to Azel and Eli. When he calmed down, he asked: “What makes you say he’s yours? Have you asked him yourself if he agrees?”

 

“What is mine will be mine.”

 

“Then why are we here having this conversation? Is that the reason you called me here?” Jun stood up, ready to leave. 

 

“… You should have died,” Dahlye said with pursed lips.

 

Jun grumbled, “This again?”

 

“You should have died,” Dahlye insisted.

 

“I don’t understand, Dahlye. Do you want me to die?” 

 

“No, you should have died for me.”

 

“I don’t understand. You’re alive, aren’t you?” Jun knew that the female protagonist couldn’t reveal herself as a transmigrator.

 

“No, Dahlye’s already dead, but I’m alive.”

 

He almost bit his tongue.

 

|Uh… is that allowed, System?|

 

|It isn’t not allowed.|

 

|…|

 

“I don’t understand, Dahlye. What do you mean?” Jun sat back down and looked at her with concern. He really was concerned—concerned that she’d reveal everything.

 

“I’m not from this world… blah blah blah…” 

 

In disbelief, Jun covered his face with his hand as he waited for the world to crumble. He could really use some milk tea right about now.

 

|The world won’t crumble from that, dearest Host.|

 

|No?|

 

|It chose to bring in a transmigrator so it should have been aware of this outcome as a possibility.|

 

“In that case, shouldn’t you be thanking me?” Jun interrupted.

 

“W-what?” 

 

“Based on what you’ve said, because I didn’t sacrifice myself and die for the original Dahlye, you’re here and you get to live a glorious life as the female protagonist. If I had died, you wouldn’t even be here.”

 

With her mouth opening and closing, Dahlye was beginning to resemble a fish blowing bubbles. Tired of her nonsense, Jun stood up and went for the door. 

 

“Wait!” Dahlye stood up and grabbed Jun’s arm. “Then… What about male lead #3? I mean, Azel?”

 

Both Azel and Eli’s ears perked up at the term. They’d heard Jun use it before and now this “transmigrator” was using it too.

 

“What about him?”

 

“Will you give him back to me?”

 

Not this again. The female protagonist was missing the point. “He’s not an object. Why don’t you ask him what he wants?” 

 

Isn’t that how healthy relationships worked? Then again, he wasn’t an expert since he was still a virgin in all aspects, except for his first kiss and second kiss…

 

“No need,” Azel spoke, as he stood next to Jun and put an arm around his shoulders. “I made a stupid mistake. The one I love is Jun, not you. I’m sorry if I misled you.”

 

|Aiyah, look at you go, dearest Host. You’ve now upgraded from cannon fodder to the star of your own soap opera. Good job!| Jun could even visualize the thumbs up System 00 was giving him.

 

|…|

 

“Are we done now?” Eli asked, taking his place on the side of Jun.

 

“Wait!” Dahlye pointed her index finger with stubbornness at Eli. 

 

Bemused, Eli glared at her. “What now?”

 

Somewhat afraid, her finger shook a little. “You, you’re the zombie emperor!”

 

— 

 

A/N: Oh, exposed!

 

Eli: Meh.

 

[HTSCF can also be found on Wattpad or my website www.morinorin.com. If you want to support my sanity, please consider my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/morinorin.]