Chapter 48: No Turning Back
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Once everyone had gathered inside the carrier and the hauler attached to the back, the vehicle took off, taking a relatively low path that travelled beyond the refineries' rooves. Above their ride, long, wide carriers shuttling workers to and from the Refinery Sector travelled at a blinding pace. The transit system created a long, seemingly endless lanes of traffic that blocked out certain sections of the night sky. Even though the hum of the refineries down below combined with the incessant roar of passing carriers above made for a constant and irritating noise, Janus could still hear what was going in the hauler behind him. He angled his head just enough so that he could get a glimpse through the one-way window in the wall that separated the carrier from the hauler. 

Enidri kept her head down with her arms resting on her knees as she sat on the bench on her side of the hauler. Meanwhile, Gurk made a long and drawn-out moan. With both of his hands, he slowly lifted off his mask and set it on the ground next to his foot. Using one of his claws, he began to scratch at the blue scales on the side of his snout. Enidri lifted her head and looked at the crocodile, becoming disturbed by the long scar that travelled along the length of his face. Her startled expression quickly turned back to a look of boredom.

"Trying to make me feel guilty?" Enidri asked softly. Those in the main carrier could hear what she had said clearly despite her low voice. Gurk continued to scratch his scales, moving his finger upwards along the edge of the wound. 

"No. Itches." With the itch scratched, he took hold of his helmet and began to put it back on.

"I know what you're doing," Enidri replied. "My right eye... at least what's left of it... is the same way. Wearing it all the time gets uncomfortable. You've got to let the skin underneath breathe.

"Yeah," Gurk said as he fastened his metal mask back onto his face. 

"You can leave it off. I'm not bothered by it," Enidri said as she slinked back along the wall. "I get why you're doing it. We've got a big fight coming up. Might as well make yourself comfortable before we get there. 

"Right." The crocodile removed his mask off once more, letting it dangle from his hand as he leaned forward. He then scratched his scales with his other hand. There was a brief silence in the hauler as Gurk continued to tend to his gash. Despite her efforts at being discreet, it was clear that she was looking at the scar on Gurk's face. She squinted her one eye while her head turned at an angle, trying to hide the fact that she was looking at him.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"Kinda."

"You ever tried to get it healed? Or even looked at by an AMIE or something?"

"Broke. No Tokens."

"That's rough."

"I'll live."

Enidri looked towards the window in between the hauler and the main carrier. By the way her head moved around, it seemed that the window was opaque on her side. She bobbed her head around, her eye jumping all around the front carrier without focusing on any one thing. Enidri then turned to face the only other person in the hauler with her. 

"Do me a favor, Gurk."

"Huh?" he grunted.

"You've got to promise me that you won't tell anyone we had this conversation, alright?"

"Sure."

"Good. Now, there's something I've always wanted to ask you." Enidri squinted her lone eye as she looked into his black pupils. "Do you hate me?" she asked, point at herself with her thumb.

Gurk shook his head from left to right. "Nah," he replied.

"Why?" Enidri asked in confusion. "Every time we've met after that incident, you never seemed mad at me. Scared, sure. But never actually angry. Just doesn't make any sense. Every time I see Itzel, my blood boils. How come you don't feel the same way about me?"

The crocodile sat still.  His head angled up as he peered at the white metal of the hauler's ceiling. After a moment of deep contemplation, he shrugged. "Dunno."

Enidri smiled. Then a small chuckle escaped. She quickly returned to her stoic attitude, trying to hide her momentary lapse of seriousness. "You know, Gurk. I'll be honest with you. You're not that bad."

"Thanks!" The crocodile mustered a smile by angling the corner of his mouth upwards. 

"Actually... you're not bad at all. Maybe I've been too hard on you all of these years."

"It's fine."

Enidri's hands trembled. Her lips pursed as she stared at Gurk with her eye, struggling to figure out what words to use next. "No, Gurk. It's not fine. The fact that I'm hunting down my brother with you and the others has made me think about things. I might be losing the only person left that's close to me tonight. And it scares me."

Gurk remained silent, but it was more than clear that he was listening to what the swordswoman had to say. 

"If something happens to Donva, then I'll really have no one," Enidri continued. "And I've got no one to blame but myself. But you," she said, pointing at the crocodile, "You've never expressed any kind of hatred for me, even though I gave you that long cut. If something happens to one of us, I just wanted to let you know that I've always hated the fact that I gave you that scar." Her lips quivered, but she managed to keep her reddened eye from letting a tear escape. "I know what it's like being scarred," she said as she pressed a finger against her eyepatch. "It's something that I'd never wish on anyone. That's why before we head into Refinery 72... I want to apologize."

"It's... okay," Gurk replied.

"Sometimes I envy you," Enidri said. "I wish I could forgive that easily. But that day... I wasn't thinking right. I just want to hurt something. Anything. And I picked you as my target. I always regretted what I did. But I let the fact that Itzel took my eye justify my hatred of you. I'm sorry, Gurk." Enidri steadied her breath as the muscles in her body relaxed as if a massive weight had been taken off. 

"Hug?" Gurk asked.

"What?" Enidri said with surprise. "Come on. You think I'm the kind to hug? Just because I apologized to you doesn't mean—" Before she could finish her sentence, she watched Gurk get up from his seat. He stood up as much as he could despite the restrictive height of the hauler. His arms were spread open, inviting Enidri to embrace. 

"I swear Gurk. If you tell anyone..." Enidri rose from her seat and went in for a hug. She gave him a few pats on the back before quickly hopping back to her bench. "Keep that between us," she said with her arms crossed as she looked at the crocodile.

"Promise," Gurk replied, giving her a thumbs up as he plopped himself back down onto the bench. 

"I guess Enidri and Gurk think that we can't see or hear through this glass window," Janus whispered to Itzel as he stared into the hauler. 

"Yeah. You really think Enidri would have apologized and hugged Gurk if she knew that we were watching?" Itzel whispered back, looking at Janus with a bit of surprise. 

"The window is one way,” Ringa said. “And any audio captured in the hauler is transmitted to the front of the carrier so we can hear what suspects are saying. Just in case they let some incriminating information slip.”

"Looks like it works on jaded Exterminators too," Itzel said. She leaned back in her seat and glared out the window to her side. Janus could see her face in the reflection of the glass. Among the smog that dimmed the starry sky, he could see Itzel stare into the wide expanse of the Refinery Sector. She wore a long frown while her eyes narrowed in at nothing specific. 

"Everything alright, Itzel?" Janus asked, tapping her on the arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just nerves getting to me. And stress. A bit of fear too." She turned to face Janus. "How are you holding up?"

"Think I'm feeling the same way. It's a lot to take in right now."

"Usually I'd say just follow me and Gurk and you should be fine. But I don't think it's going to be that easy. We're heading into the heart of the Refinery Sector, possibly going up against some enhanced Essencima. I don't know if we can protect you this time, Janus."

"You're telling me this now?" Janus said nervously. "Are you trying to get me to back out or something?"

"Yeah, I am." Itzel kept her head low, unable to look Janus head on. "I'm getting second thoughts about this, Janus. I don't want anyone getting hurt if they don't have to. That includes you. Maybe you can stay inside the carrier while Ringa and Brielle stay behind to make sure you're safe. This is going to be dangerous. Me and Gurk can't afford to keep our attention away form what's going on just to keep an eye on you. And there's no point in asking Enidri to back you up. I think it's safe to assume what her answer is going to be."

"Come on, Itzel," Janus moaned. "I know I'm not the most competent when it comes to Exterminating, but having me to back you up is better than having no one, right?"

"No, it's not. You think me and Gurk are going to just let something happen to you? Gurk definitely won't. He was more than willing to take all those hits from the Spittlers not too long ago. No way he'd just let any Essencima take you out, even if it meant keeping himself safe. We need everyone to be on their A game. And with you around, I just don't think that's possible."

Janus sank back into the seat, parting away the strands of hair that covered his face. "I appreciate the concern, Itzel. I really do. But I think I'm going to have to ignore your suggestion this one time. There's a lot on the line here tonight. I owe it to you. And to Gurk. The two officers in the seats in front of us. I owe it to everyone that has helped me so far. This is my way of saying thanks."

"You've changed quite a bit, Janus." Itzel raised the corner of her mouth, stopping the smile from forming. "You went from cowering against a wall after coming across a couple of Lurkers to wanting to take on who-knows-what in the most dangerous area of the city. Maybe all of that exhaust has gotten to your brain, but I can't help but admire your drive."

"Remember what you said earlier? About what keeps you motivated despite being stuck in Labrisson?" Janus asked. "How your dream of being a top contender in Rumble Circuit keeps you moving despite the odds being against you."

"Of course." 

"I guess this is my 'Rumble Circuit,'" Janus said as he placed both of his hands over his chest. "Helping others is what keeps me pressing on. Knowing that I have what it takes to make a difference. It's kind of cheesy, I know. But it gives me purpose."

Itzel made a coy smile and then nudged Janus in the arm with her fist. "You're a real goof, you know that?"

"That's because I've spent the last five years of my life inside the pages of physics textbooks."

"Don't know what a textbook is but I'll take your word for it. If you're dead set on helping us out, then who am I to stop you?" Itzel shrugged her arms. "You're a grown man. I can't tell you what you can and can't do. Just be careful, alright? We really can't afford having to come and save you just because you're in over your head."

"I'll stick to the back row. Keep an eye out for anything coming from behind. How does that sound?"

"That could work." Itzel then inhaled. She faced the window once more and continued to watch the ground pass by.

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