“Oh god I’m dead aren’t I?” David’s skin was deathly white, his forehead pasty with sweat. His knuckles were clenched tight around the arm of the chair, the wood strained in his grasp. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air. He felt his arms clench up, his muscles locking, as he drew his limbs toward his chest. He was shaking.

“I’m fucking dead and this is all just some nightmare. Fuck.” He breathed out shakily. His hands clenching around himself as he shook slightly in the chair.

“You’re panicking. But that’s ok, that’s normal. You’re safe here.” William’s voice was steady, calm and low.

“Normal? Nothing about this is fucking normal! God. I’m dead and I’m still not safe. You want me to fight in your stupid war.” David hissed.

“Ok David, it’s not normal. That’s ok. You’re safe now, in this moment. Breath.” William was in front of him. His face was slack, strangely neutral. His usually steely eyes softened as he held David’s gaze. David did breath. He couldn’t get enough air. He was breathing faster and faster. He felt the world spinning, the courtyard seemed dim. He heard William’s voice:

“Slowly. Here, with me.” William took David’s hand and put it on his chest as he breathed in. It seemed like an eternity. The slow in and out. But it did help. David matched the pace, not exactly, not immediately, but his quick panicked breaths were slowly pulled into a more even and steady rhythm.

“Good, you’re doing good.” David saw William grinning at him. An almost proud smile, huge wrinkles spreading around his eyes before he said: “now, let’s get you something warm to drink.”

David sat up in his bed, the pillows pushed into the wall behind him, his legs and the blankets curled up in a comforting pile in front of him. William had left him here with Maria while he went to fetch hot chocolate “from his personal stash”. David couldn’t stop himself from staring at her. She’s pretty, but after that maid thing I don’t know what to think of her. She was wearing a simple dress, light blue, with a silver inlay running through it in a fine weave. It was relatively form fitting, with no sleeves. Cut slightly shorter than he’d have expected, ending a few inches above her ankles, revealing what looked to be a very functional pair of leather boots. Still, it’s a really nice colour. I bet it matches her eyes well. His eyes moved up to hers and to his surprise she was staring right back. Dark blue pools met his gaze. They were unfathomable, an ocean so deep he couldn’t even imagine the bottom. He averted his eyes and a bright red blush spread across his cheeks.

“Are you alright, are you sick? I heard you just awakened your magic. It can be… traumatic for some, and is taxing for pretty much everyone.” Her voice was concerned, but more than that it was suffused with curiosity. She seemed worried about him. Maybe she should be. He wasn’t sure he was alright at all. He didn’t want to think about his family, or his home, or what had happened to him. Were they mourning him? He pictured his mom in a black dress, her eyes wet as she stood over a gaping dirt pit- no! I’m not going to think about that, not now. Not until I’m… stronger, safer. It made his stomach feel empty and nauseous. He was filled to bursting with a feeling that was too large to define, but hollow and dark, an empty abyss that he didn’t want to stare into. A balloon that could pop and overwhelm him with its contents. His life before was destroyed, shattered and he still didn’t even really know if he could trust these people, except for maybe William, certainly he didn’t trust Maria. He couldn’t share his loss or the life he had before with her. It was still all his. The hurt, but the memory of his family too. He deflected,

“What was up with that stunt you pulled? Showing up as a maid?” She put a finger to her temple, closed her eyes and tilted her head as if to mime being in thought.

“Hmm. Well, it was just a whim really. I wanted to meet a Hero. See what you were like. It’s not like my dad knew what I was doing or anything.” She started to giggle, a smirk tugging at the edges of her lips,

“Besides, wouldn’t it be funny if you’d asked for Maria, expecting a maid to come help you and instead you realize you’d asked the princess to fetch you something dumb. Your expression would have been priceless! Ah well.” She sighed.

They sat in silence for a minute. David wasn’t sure if he believed her totally, besides he figured if he was going to start making friends here it didn’t need to start with her anyways. Maria smiled at him, warmly, her expression held in an unerring mask of kindness. It fit her well, perfectly even, but he wasn’t sure it was her real face. He wasn’t sure how she really felt about him, about anything. He didn’t think he could read her, after all she’d fooled him before. He heard footsteps in the hall, rounding the nearby corner and then William came into the room, a ceramic mug in hand with steam billowing off the top.

“Well, what do you say, are you feeling up to a nice drink and some rest?” William asked before stepping beside David and placing the mug on his bedside table. It smelled deliciously rich and bitter, it looked and smelled like dark chocolate melted down in boiling milk instead of the sugary hot chocolate powder he was used to. He nodded,

“Thanks, yeah. I appreciate the drink, and I think I’d appreciate some time to think and rest too. Today was… a lot.” William nodded, gave him a thumbs up and said,

“Good man.” He turned to leave, stopping just at the door frame before looking back,

“Ah, you can keep the mug! And don’t worry, tomorrow, you’ll do real magic.” Maria wasn’t far behind William, her small frame slipping quickly out the door. Once she left the room and was out of his sight David heard her call out, her voice lilting in a sing-song melody:

“Good night, sleep tight David.” Strange, he thought.

David took a sip of the hot chocolate, rich sweetness with a satisfying dark finish washed over him. It had the same satisfying acidic quality of coffee. I wonder if they have coffee here? So many small things were different, so many little habits of his felt out of his reach - he hadn’t realized until this moment how much he missed his phone. No social media, no friends at the touch of the button. He had no distractions here, but also no real knowledge about the world. What do they even do for fun? I guess no one thought to cover that with the whole war going on. Maybe, before magic, he should have read history, or even some kind of introduction to common sense. His head felt full, frantic thoughts bouncing around inside like ping pong balls, but each sip of his warm drink seemed to slow everything down. He felt his head get heavier, felt his eyelids start to feel thick and weighty. He had a lot to think about, his old life, his family. This new world, and his place in it. Magic too, even now he could feel the slow thrumming beat of it in his chest, pumping like a second heart. For now though, all of it could wait. For now, he let the heavy cloak of sleep slip over his thoughts, he let his eyes feel heavier and heavier before slowly drifting shut. The sound of quiet fitful snoring filled the room, as David fell asleep.