It was never real,

I knew that yes,

But the point wasn’t to convince myself it was,

I just wanted to experience being a regular human, from birth all the way to adulthood

My whole existence has been based off the minds and memories of others, so I had to find out

What would my song sound like if I did develop like a human,

What are my goals,

What do I like

Who would I become?

……..

……..

As the reality I created fades away into nothingness, so does my frantic confused emotions,

(I don’t care anymore)

I haven’t felt like this in fifteen years, 

It isn’t that long of time, but to me, in that world it was

. …..

“Now do understand, do you see the inevitability of it all?” myself challenging stares into me 

We are stood apart surrounded by a void, like broken pieces of glass, it’s color constantly fluctuating as it awaits the deciding decision

“I do understand…

I understand that I’m not a regular human

I understand that I’m different, so much so that I probably shouldn’t call myself human

I understand that with emotions we are able to perceive what necessarily should be mundane and meaningless

But these emotions also spurt a chain reaction that leads to chaos,

If we did not feel then there would be no reason to have reason

I understand that to have reason for purpose you must have emotion to feel that purpose,

I understand now that I am Kage, 

I am a person who enjoys the mundane,

I’ve been alive for a long time, but really I have only lived for seventeen years,

Every morning I wake up and watch the early sky break into dawn

The mystery of space intrigues me,

I have hypersensitive ears so I hear much more than others can,

I also feel more when it comes to music,

My favorite hobbies are listening to music and playing music, 

My favorite sport is archery

My favorite color is gray because it represents the spectrum of both light and dark,

I’m also very fond of fashion, men’s fashion and women’s 

I dress how I feel in the current moment

I don’t feel romantically interested in anyone because love all my friends deeply, 

Intimacy can be exchanged through the sound waves we create together

I like all types of people and prefer to keep my friend group diverse,

I find different people to be intriguing because I never know what’s out there that I haven’t thought about liking that I may like

For instance, I’m not necessarily a violent person

But I believe in some instances emotion can only be express through violence 

Like right now–

–Thunnd!

I swing at myself, the blow connects clean it’s after shocks reverberates throughout the emptiness

“After all that you decided to do something this tribal?”

Thunnnd!

I swing again

“Yes, because it’s fitting, it’s poetic in a sense,

If two beings of incalculable power and knowledge were to clash, the only way the conflict could be settled would by the most tribal of ways,

No amount of a mana of flashy ability would work on either,

No amount of preaching would change minds,

So out fists will express everything.”

Thummmpp!

I retaliate against myself with a back elbow like a drill to my face,

Whamp!!

I spring back up with a mallet knee

“I’m not even mad,

But I know I should be, 

After everything

I should be pissed,

So I’ll act like it,

For everyone who died for me to get here,

Who wasted their lives on a life not worth–

Fuck why I am even bothering to speak.”

Whammm!!

“agreed” I punch myself in the throat

I doesn’t do anything given we possess no physical bodies,

(But I can still make it that we feel pain)

I don’t have to, 

I could easily be invincible right now,

(But then what would be the point?)

“Ehhhxkk!” squealing out in agony I jump up onto the shoulders of my counterpart

And-

Slammmnnkkk!!

Using my legs to hold my neck I reverse the weight slamming myself head first down, in a reverse hurricanrana 

“Ehhkm

Fuck your existence!”

Bifff!!

Climbing on top of myself I begin to rain down elbow strikes

“Thi…s

This….

This is my

...”

Bifff!

Biffff!

Backrk!

Bacckkrr!!

“Is…my song…my.. story…!”

Backkrrr!!

“The past,

The history

The humanity of before

All of it 

Means nothing to me!

I just wanted to know what I really was”

“We don’t choose to be born” myself grins at me

“Yes, nothing you have done, everything experience, it all means naught

Look at me Kage,

Look at yourself,

You are fighting yourself!

You’ve been fighting yourself since the beginning, 

I am not a separate Kage, 

I am Kage!

I am you!

You intrusive thoughts, your subconscious memories

Deep down you think, you know, you feel, the pointlessness of the world,

The world revolves around a black hole,

The same black hole that’s in place of your, our soul 

The friendships the power the eternal cycle of life and death over an over,

You know, we know, it leads to the same outcome

Why bother trying to keep the balance of peace?

If nothing matters then why mask our true chaotic natures?

Why–”

Bbcccrrkk!

“Shut up, you are wrong,

During the time I spent in that world, that illusion with my friends,

The simplicity of it all has made me realize how wrong you are

How dumb, 

It’s crazy how you, both of you!

With all the memories of humanity yet still could not figure out something as simple as our true nature,

But I do,

I stand in the middle of it all, a perfect neutral,

The true nature of humanity is not chaos, it can’t even be described with words,

We are beings of expression of deep longing for purpose that is our nature,

Nothing matters to those that have not found their art, their own song,

Nothing matters, we die in the end, what’s the point, right?

We did but our creations, our art, legacy, love, expression, message, they live forever,

Isn’t that why I exist?

You died

But I, the requiem the art that was never finished, 

I was born to embrace the darkness while bathing in the light, 

A shadow, formless yet reflective of oneself,

I figured out who I am, I already told you…”

……

Errrcckk!

Grabbing myself by the throat I

I inhale it,

I breathe in myself,

Yes,

I make myself evaporate,

I absorb myself 

I revel in the high of myself.

……

“…..I am Kage and—”