The hand Ben was holding, clasped together in front of him, was giving off a familiar warmth, seeping deep into his skin. Ben lowered his eyes and watched the hands in front of him; small beads of sweat had begun to form on his palm, the heat welling up inside his chest. 

Ben slowly moved his gaze upward, staring lovingly at the man opposite him. He noticed the tears that had gathered in the corner of the other man’s eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. Looking at the man in front of him, Ben could feel his heart fill with love, to the point it could no longer contain the emotion. His adoration overflowing, straining the organ at its seams before bursting and filling his entire body with joy. 

Both men were standing before a bold pop of colour; a deconstructed two-piece archway stood on either side of them. Two pillars covered in flowers, a few small branches fluttering at the end to give the shape of an archway. Instead, the focus was the pillars, standing upright and covered in green; from within the vibrant colour sprouted coral peonies, blue delphiniums and peach roses. 

The crisp autumn breeze swirled around the flowers behind them and their family and friends in front. The two men stood at the center of such revelry and renewed their vows. 

A deep voice resounded: “I am so happy to be here and celebrating with these two as they renew their vows. Watching you two grow your family has been a joy, and I am glad that I can be here with you both.” Ben lifted his gaze to his best friend standing between them, “Van, you may read your vows first.”

The man opposite Ben wore a light grey suit jacket, with a windowpane check pattern in navy blue throughout the fabric. Underneath was a white dress shirt, a deep navy blue vest and matching pants in the same deep blue. A tie hung around his neck in the same hue, bringing the entire look together.    

Van let go of Ben’s hand and placed it inside his suit, pulling out a piece of paper. A gentle smile spread across his face as Ben noticed the slight tremble in Van's hand. Van cleared his throat before he started to speak; his rich and smooth voice sounded out. 

“Ben, I bring myself to you on this day to recommit my life to you. Because of you, I learned how to laugh and smile, and through you, I was able to dream more than I had ever hoped. You are, and always will be, the love of my life, my soulmate, and my person. I love you without knowing how, or when or from where.” Van took a shaky breath before continuing, “I love you not for what you are but what I am when I’m with you. When there has been cold, you have brought warmth; where there was darkness, you have brought light.”

Van’s voice trembled. He stopped and took a deep breath, quickly wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes that had yet to fall. Once his voice was even, he started speaking again. 

“You provided a safe place for me, unlike I have ever known. Because of you, I was able to be free, and through you, I was able to finally have a home. You are my greatest love, of this I am certain. Together we have created a haven in our marriage from the chaos of the rest of the world, and in you, I have found comfort, joy, and peace. I have loved you since the day I met you, and I will continue to do so forever. You know me better than anyone else in this world, and somehow still you manage to love me. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the lucky one who is married to you. I love you with everything I have; words will never be enough to show the love I have for you.”

Ben watched the man before him and could feel tears starting to form. As the other talked, reading aloud his vows, Ben had started to replay the memories of their past. They had first met each other in middle school; however, it was not until high school that they started to reveal their feelings. In those tumultuous years, Van struggled while Ben watched on helplessly.  

Now, after 10 years of marriage, both men were stable and happy. If someone had told the angry youths back then that it would all be okay in a few years, they would not have believed it. Everything seemed so bleak and all-encompassing, it was hard to believe there would have been a way out. Ben had always had a crush on Van, and it was hard for him to watch the boy that he liked be abandoned by everyone.

Focusing back on the men before him, Ben tried his hardest to control the smile on his face. Once he had stopped talking, he looked over at one of their children sitting with Ben’s parents. The tiny frame of the child resembled Van in many aspects, from his black hair and slightly angular eyes to his lanky limbs that hinted at the youth Van had once been.

Jin got down from his chair and calmly approached his fathers before taking out a ring from his pocket and handing it to Van. Both men had decided to get each other new rings, marking their 10th wedding anniversary. Jin pulled a silver ring out of his pocket and handed it over, watching as Van slid it onto the third finger of Ben’s left hand. 

His best friend, who was standing between them, reached out a hand and clasped Ben’s shoulder, “You can read your vows now.”

Ben nodded his head, reaching into his black suit jacket. He had always liked the more classic-looking suits, and so, for himself, he had decided on a black jacket and pants. He wore a white dress shirt underneath with the darkest red wine-coloured vest layered over it, and around his neck was a flared black bowtie. The entire outfit had been tailored to fit Ben's broad shoulders and narrow waist. 

His vows had been placed securely against his heart. Once he had grabbed the paper, he looked back up at Van and his features softened. He was still just as in love with this man as he was when he was a teenager. 

“From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in ways that no one else ever has. I’ve fallen in love with you again and again over the years, countless times, without reservation, and I still can’t believe that every day I get to call you my husband. All that I have, all that I am, and all that I will ever be, is because of my love for you. I see these words not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. And most importantly, love you every single day. You have been my best friend, mentor, confidant, lover, and greatest challenge. But above all, you are the love of my life. You make me happier than I could ever have imagined and feel more love than I ever thought possible.”

Although Ben had always been the stoic one, his voice faltered here as a few tears lost their place, falling down his cheek. But his radiant smile was still present on his face, his eyes never leaving his husband across from him. 

“I promise to always be there when you need me, to fill your days with sunshine, to comfort and encourage you, and help you reach your goals. You are my best friend and one true love. I promise to love you for all my life with all my heart. I choose you to be my husband, always; to have and to hold, in tears and in laughter, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward, in this life and the next.” 

Once Ben’s voice quieted. Their second child, another boy a year younger than Jin, got up from his seat. This child had golden blonde hair similar to Ben’s when he was about that age. Kaiden also took out a ring from his pocket and handed it over to his father, watching as Ben placed the ring on Van’s finger. 

A silence fell upon the people who had gathered to celebrate their love while the man in between them pronounced them still in love. Everyone exclaimed in excitement: taking out streamers, they pointed them to the sky and launched the thin strips of paper, watching as the various colours fell on the happy couple walking underneath. 

Much merriment was had that afternoon. They had a late lunch planned; blue fabric adorned each table, atop which were the plates and cutlery for the meal, the head of a singular peach rose had been snipped and placed on each plate. Candles that matched the wedding colours, along with potted flowers, were placed along the winding tables. The same coral peonies, blue delphiniums and peach roses were sprouting from the gold pots at the centre.  

After the laughs and festivities of the lunch, there was dancing. Ben and Van got through half a dance together before their boys ran up and broke them apart, each wanting to be included in the intimate moment shared between them. And so, a dance between two became a dance between four. 

After the festivities had started to die down, Van looked over at Ben and asked, “should we head over now?” Barely covering the smile that was starting to turn up the corners of his mouth. He had been looking forward to the hotel room they had booked. A night away without kids sounded particularly nice. 

Ben smiled back at him. Leaning forward, he kissed his forehead, “Let's go.”

Hand-in-hand they walked together towards Ben’s parents and their two boys. They had also booked a room at the same hotel for them to stay. Their kids were ecstatic for the night away with their grandparents and for the swimming pool. Whereas Ben and Van could not get the romantic evening that lay ahead of them out of their minds. 

Once they had walked around the venue saying goodbye to the people still present, Ben and Van turned to leave. Ben’s parents and their children were already in the vehicle waiting for them before they made their way to the hotel together. 

After getting their children settled into the suite with their grandparents, a loud thud reverberated down the hallway as the door shut behind them. Van extended his hand, hooking a few of his fingers around Ben’s as they walked down the hall towards their room.  

Having checked in earlier that day, Ben took the key out of his pocket and opened their room door. Van loosened the tie around his neck and went into the bathroom to shower first while Ben ordered a few things from room service. 

With the gel gone from his hair, the black strands hung lazily across Van's forehead. He had wrapped a towel around his waist and noticed the chocolate-covered strawberries on the table. He placed one in his mouth, the sweetness spread along his tongue, before walking towards the bed where Ben was sitting and placed one of the strawberries in his mouth. 

“Sweet,” Ben said, wrapping his arms around Van’s waist and pulling him down onto the bed. Van fell on the mattress, turning his body to lay on his back. While Ben nestled into his side, trailing his fingers across Van's chest. 

“I love you,” Ben said, kissing along the side of Van’s body that was closest to him. His lips brushed over the skin of his abdomen before he moved further, trailing the tip of his tongue over his nipple.

“I love you, too,” Van replied, bringing his arms around Ben and enveloping him in a tight embrace.

After a few moments, Van released the other from his arms and intertwined their fingers. He had been contemplating for some time how to put his insecurities into words, “If you… If you could do it all over again, would you still choose me?”

The smile on Ben’s face had shifted slightly. Instead of unrestrained happiness, it was tinted with melancholy. 

“Of course!” Ben played with Van’s fingers, “If I knew then what I know now, I would not have hesitated so much.”

Van: “But I was so unruly. I still don’t understand what you saw… what you see in me.” 

Ben brought Van’s fingers to his mouth, kissing each one individually. “Remember back in high school when you went to grab my hand and fumbled it. That was the moment that I knew.” Having kissed his last finger, Ben added, “I only wanted to love you.” 

The worries that had been concealed within Van’s chest were starting to dissipate with every touch. However, upon hearing Ben’s words, his worry was soon replaced with an embarrassed blush, “When I messed up holding your hand!” Van quickly pulled his fingers back, bringing both hands up to cover his face, “I was so nervous! You seemed so cool and had dated a girl before. I was so self-assured, and then I missed it.”

Ben could not help the chuckle that reverberated in his chest. Those hazy memories from their youth meant everything to him. And though he was proud of the person Van had grown into, he still cherished that arrogant and assured teenager who had terrorized their grade. 

Ben: “But you were so cute! Especially when we were alone, and you would go weak in the knees. For someone who was the terror of our grade, you were never like that in front of me. How could I stay away from you?!”

Ben could not help the smile that spread across his face as he remembered their youth. “It was your smile. I was dazed by it. You were usually so impulsive and reckless, but once you smiled you were so handsome… so breathtaking. I never knew my heart could beat that fast.” 

Van chuckled, "And here I was trying to get my grades up so we would have something to talk about, and all I needed to do was smile?!" 

Ben had picked up Van's hand again, starting to play with his fingers. "Nothing is cuter than the face you make when you are concentrating! I could have stared at you all day long while you were trying to get through your workbooks." 

Ben shifted his weight on the bed. His fingers brushed across Van’s chest as he placed his hand on the other side of his body. He then swung his leg over, situating himself overtop of the other. His fingers grazed the back of Van's neck as Ben brought his face down and captured his lips, his tongue exploring the expanse of the other's mouth. 

Ben dropped to his elbows, pressing his weight onto the other’s body as their lips melded together. His warm tongue fervently caressed Van’s as they pulled each other into a tight embrace. 

With heavy breaths, Ben leaned his forehead against Van’s, “I have never felt that anything was missing from my life being with you.” 

Then Ben kissed the tip of his nose, each eyelid, in turn, his chin, his forehead, and finally kissed along one side of his face, coming down again to leave a kiss on his lips. 

Van, staring into Ben’s eyes, said breathlessly, “It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, it’s just… our circumstances were so different back then…” 

Ben supported his weight on his hands and stared down at Van. He replied, “Except that is something that I have always been happy about. That I was able to be your support through everything. That I was able to hold your hand when your family abandoned you, and that I could hold it when our children were born.”

Ben cupped his hand around Van’s cheek, watching as the rims of Van’s eyes reddened; Ben lowered his head, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Van lifted his arms and wrapped them around Ben’s neck, burying his face in the other’s shoulder, smothering his tears into the fabric of Ben’s shirt. 

They stayed like that for a while, Van’s face buried in Ben’s shoulder and Ben, supporting his weight on his elbows, had his arms wrapped around the other. 

When Van eventually looked up, his eyes were filled with longing. Everything about today was a celebration of their past and how much they had been through together. Reminiscing on these moments long since gone, each felt their passion and desire, which had spanned for more than a decade, stir. 

Both men were feeling a similar warmth spread throughout their chest as they started into the other’s eyes. Van spoke up, “I want to have you.”

Ben: “You want me?!”

Van, biting his lip, “Mn.”

Ben leaned down and kissed the other man before shifting his body and getting off the bed, “Okay. I haven’t showered yet, so give me a bit of time, and I will get ready.” 

However, watching the other get off the bed and start to unbutton his shirt, Van felt unwilling to let him go. He quickly got off the bed and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his forehead against the broad expanse of Ben’s back.

Once they got to the bathroom, Ben turned around to face Van, who had been shuffling behind him the entire way. “Do you want to join me?” 

Van contemplated the question for a moment before very reluctantly releasing the other from his embrace. Ben lightly touched Van’s cheek, his fingers brushing against the other’s skin as Van turned to leave the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

“Be quick,” Van spoke just as the door clicked closed. 

Ben smiled at the closed door as a warmth spread across his chest. It had been many years since he had felt the butterflies from his youth. However, his love for Van never diminished in all these years. 

Instead of the fragile and explosive lust that had consumed their younger days, they now had the warmth of love in their chest. A slow gradual spread that filled their entire bodies; it was not the urgent and all-consuming heat from even 10 years ago. It was a smile at a closed-door while affection filled their chest. It was an unbreakable happiness, something that they could feel secure in and know that it was never going to go anywhere. 

Ben slowly stripped, clothes falling to the ground where he stood. He turned on the shower and stepped under the falling water, a smile still on his face. Van, on the other hand, still wrapped in his towel, settled back on the bed to wait. Thirty minutes later, Ben walked out of the bathroom naked, towel drying his hair. A few strands of his damp hair clung to his forehead, covering his face and making his eyes appear softer. His gaze filled with tenderness; from deep within his blue eyes was an unspoken devotion and adoration for the other. Van was struck by the warmth his eyes held and could not help the smile that spread over his face as he watched the man he loved walk toward the bed. 

Van got up on his knees and reached out his hands, his fingers caressing Ben’s skin as they passed by his sides, wrapping his arms around his waist. Ben had stopped at the edge of the bed, and while Van’s hands moved freely, Ben leaned his head lower and kissed the other.  

The first time they kissed was when they were still in high school. They had been unrestrained back then, the vigour of their youth urging them on. Their kisses overflowed with a passionate fervour that can only be brought on by their own insecurities. Neither boy knew when it would end, but both knew that their relationship could not last. And so, when they met in private, they let all their emotions out, not wanting to leave the other with regrets.

Ben placed his fingers on Van’s chin and tilted his head up further, lightly biting his bottom lip before gently sucking on it. Van smiled, a remnant of their youth. He then threaded his fingers through Ben’s hair and pulled the other back to him. Their lips melded passionately together while their hands grasped the other. Their breathing was starting to speed up, turning ragged the longer their lips stayed together.

Tight within Ben’s embrace, Van brushed his lips against Ben’s before leaning his forehead against the other. Both men were breathing hard, panting against each other’s skin. Van lifted his hand, reaching out to trace the tips of his fingers along the outline of Ben’s face, then down to his chest. 

Van's fingers traced along the contours of his body while Ben tilted his face up slightly and brushed his lips against Van's. As Ben climbed onto the bed, he pulled the towel from Van’s waist and dropped it to the floor. 

Naked and pressed skin to skin, they are tangled together. Ben leans into the mattress beneath him as Van kisses and trails his tongue over his body. Van starts down his neck, then along his collarbone. Ben's eyes follow Van as his lips brush across his chest and are soon replaced with the tip of his tongue as he starts to move lower. 

Before settling between Ben’s legs, Van sat up and grabbed the lube from the bedside table. Taking some of the lube on the tips of his fingers, Van slowly circled Ben’s back entrance before pushing in. He very slowly and gradually inserted one finger. After moving his finger a little and stretching it some, Van applied a little more lube and inserted two. With this, he settled into the crook of Ben’s leg and started searching for that particular spot, while he brushed the tip of his tongue across the head of Ben’s cock. 

As Van's fingers delved into him, that cluster of nerves found within Ben was lit ablaze. The more the pleasure built, the more Ben was powerless to resist the teasing of Van’s tongue circling the tip of his cock. Light groans filled the room as Van took the swollen head in his mouth, his tongue wrapped around it, running along the sensitive underside. 

After only a few prods from his fingers, Ben could feel the base of his cock throbbing unbearably. His entire body quivered when Van’s warm and moist tongue wrapped around and flicked across his swollen tip. A groan comes out unbidden as his abdominal muscles tighten. 

“Ah!-” 

Once Van was satisfied, he removed his fingers and began kissing and caressing his way back up. He ran his fingers along Ben’s thighs and the sides of his waist, up until his chest. Replacing the tips of his fingers with his tongue, Van grazed across Ben's collarbone and along his neck. He left a chaste kiss on his lips before righting himself and grabbing the bottle of lube again. 

Van took more lube, this time working it over his own cock instead as he watched Ben switch positions, flipping over so that he was laying on his stomach. Van leaned over his body, dropping kisses along Ben’s shoulders as he brought his cock to his entrance and gently pressed into him. Ben could feel Van's cock opening him up and pushing into the deepest parts of him, the slow pressure sending a faint ripple through his body. 

Similar to how a dragonfly skims the surface of the water, the faint pleasure had fluttered past. As if chasing after it, Ben slipped his hand underneath himself and wrapped his fingers around his cock. The initial discomfort from being entered slowly dissipated with each stroke of Ben’s hand along his length. While Van stayed motionless, waiting for Ben to adjust, continuing to kiss along Ben’s shoulders and down his back. 

“Okay.” Ben’s voice sounded out as he reached his hand over and touched Van’s thigh. 

Van drops two more kisses along his back before shifting his weight slightly and slowly moves his cock in and out. Ben buries his face into the blankets, trying to keep his breathing slow and even as he can feel the large cock inside him thrust. 

The hardness inside of him was bearing down on that particular spot. His own erection pressed against the bed, dragged along the sheets as their bodies started to rock, the friction was beginning to drive him wild. As Van’s rhythm picked up, he slipped an arm around Ben’s waist as he thrust into him, causing a tremble to cascade over Ben’s body and a groan to escape him.

“W-wait,” Ben reached a hand out and touched Van’s thigh. Van stopped, watching the other man disentangle their bodies and change positions. Now laying on his back, he reached his arms up and wrapped them around Van’s neck, bringing him down and sealing his lips. 

They held on tight to one another as Van brought his cock towards the other. Ben could only feel Van's weight on him as he started to thrust into him. The unfamiliar feeling of fullness brought on new sensations as an incomparable pleasure washes over him. 

Ben’s breathing turns ragged as he grips the other with all his strength. It was as if, at this moment, they had returned to the youths they had once been, desperate to not let go of one another. Their tongues intertwined as they gasped for air as if they were exploring urgently, trying to find the taste that belonged to the other. 

Their hands had long since explored every aspect of the other’s body, and the warmth of their panting breath had long since scalded the other’s skin. These familiar sensations had been burning in their chest for most of their relationship. When their youthful arousal used to overtake them, hitting them suddenly and then leaving just as quickly.  

All of Van’s thrusts drove into the deepest parts of Ben, making him feel so good that he could not help but tighten his grip around the other and deepen their kiss. It was as if this was exactly how they were meant to be. 

The building pleasure starts to engulf Ben as Van continues to drive in, overwhelming him as his mind goes blank. Pressed underneath the other, Ben is surrounded by the familiar scent of Van's bare skin. However, the only thing he can focus on are the kisses that fall haphazardly and the heavy breaths against his neck as Van drops his forehead, resting it on his shoulder.  

Like an uncontrollable fire that was raging, it burnt along the surface of Ben's skin, causing his entire body to flush, becoming hot from his arousal. It did not take long for this passionate fervour to have built to a capacity that he could no longer maintain. 

While the pleasure within his body surged, Van never stopped kissing him and continued to thrust rapidly into him. He had never entered into such a state where he would completely lose himself. Soon, Ben's abdominal muscles tensed, and his breathing caught. His cock twitched, releasing slow spurts of cum. 

Van was not far behind. Since Ben rarely bottomed, Van quickly removed his cock from the other’s sensitive body. Instead, he worked his hand along his length, promptly bringing him to his release, mixing with the warm, white fluid already on Ben’s abdomen. 

Ben’s breathing was still heavy as he lay on the bed, his arm placed over his eyes. Van leaned over the mattress and grabbed one of the towels they had thrown on the ground, cleaning up the mess left on Ben’s body. 

He very gently moved Ben’s arm and looked into his eyes, “are you okay?”

Ben smiled. He reached out his arms while shifting to lay on his side, “Mn.” 

Van noticed his open arms and snuggled into his embrace, pulling the blankets up and covering them in the warmth of the comforter. Ben tightened his hold on the other, closing the space that was between them. The bridge of his nose rubbed against the nape of Van’s neck as he breathed in the sweet scent of the other. 

This tight embrace had become the haven that their marriage had created. Within it, both men had found boundless happiness. An unending joy that they brought to the other’s life, making each strive to become the best versions of themselves. 

And it was through this love and support they had created that they were able to pass through any obstacle that crossed their path, face the most fierce hardships and experience the highest peaks. 

And yet, at the end of all of this, both men lay wrapped in each other's arms, breathing in the scent of the other that still lingered in the air. What started as a heat deep within their chests had gradually spread outwards, threading itself around their limbs as if it was animate; that had become their shelter. Many years have already passed within this warm embrace; however, each still found that within the other’s arms was where they called home. It was where they each belonged, the only place they would ever need.