After that you still came to me, time and time again, trying to mend our relationship. Coming to my house whenever you had time, sometimes even waiting for me when college classes ended, but I still did not give in. I wanted more but more you could not give. I told you this but you would not listen.

You weren't the only one selfish. I was too. A fool in love. 

"Why don`t you get it Han?"

I slowly whispered

"I can`t be your friend"

You were silent

"Don`t you see me hurting?"

You were gazing at me. We were in your car, in front of my house and that day was your last day of break in Beijing, then you had to go back in Shanghai.

"I`ll stop"

It was for a few moments that we were both silent then I put my hand on the handle and while keeping my head down I muttered a thanks.

"Can I visit you on holidays?"

You cleared your throat because my silence was your only answer.

"I`ll just watch you go inside then leave"

~

 Now looking back, I see things differently. I wasn't a forgiving lad neither.