"Now wait here until I call all of you inside." Professor McGonagall said and went inside the hall.

"So..... Still scared?" I asked Harriet.

"No." She replied with a chuckle.

" Hey, you! " A guy with black greasy hair, dark eyes, a pale face, and a suspiciously familiar face said.

" Yeah what? "I asked not minding his tone.

" You think you're real tough huh?" He said and came closer to me, trying to intimidate me. What he forgot was that I was almost a finger taller than him so here I had a little kid trying to push me with his chest.

" You're trying to chest bump me or something?" I asked with a confused tone and everyone laughed.

" You... You aren't in the school robes! I'll complain about you to the Teachers. " The guy said as if he suddenly had a Eureka moment.

'Is he mentally slow or something?' I thought as the guy had a shit-eating grin on his face.

" Nope. It isn't. Go tell your mom kid. " I said and then stopped giving him my attention. I had an idea about who the kid was and if what I thought was true then me and Dad were gonna have a long talk.

" Enter. " A voice sounded from the hall and as everyone moved forward, I may or may not have used my leg to make the kid almost fall.

Why almost? Because I now held him halfway to the ground by the collar.

" Try doing that shit again and you'll be dead before you even find out what happened," I said and then walked forward not bothering with the kid anymore.

I could see Dad trying to hide his face as I entered the Hall with my 'Robes' not even bothering about my mask. I smiled inside my mask.

"That's a magical ceiling. It projects whatever's outside." Hermione talked about the starry sky that we had as a ceiling.

" Yup. The Great Hall was actually made as a place for Vikings to feast by Godric Gryffindor and those Vikings did love their stars. Those 19 in the middle are called Odin's Beard." I said while pointing at the sky.

All of us were stopped before a chair with a dusty looking hat on top of it.

"Now the new students will be allotted into their houses using the Sorting Hat.." Professor McGonagall said and pointed at the dusty hat "The houses are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw" whenever she took a name a single table erupted in cheers.

"What do you think my house would be?" Harriet asked.

"Hmm, whatever the hell works for you. I'm sure the dusty old hat would take recommendations." I said with a chuckle as the anxious Harriet relaxed. 

"Oh, you may not think I’m pretty,

But don’t judge on what you see,

I’ll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me." The Hat sang.

"Anos Snape!" Professor McGonagall said as I walked forward attracting whispers from the students.

'Let's see how good Godric's hat is. ' I thought as the giant hat was put on my head and covered my whole face.

"Hmm." An old Dusty voice sounded in my ears.

"Yo. How's it going?" I replied to the dusty hat.

"I... I can't reach your head!" The Hat said.

"Oh sorry about that," I said and put off Limitless.

"Hmm, Ambition. Ambition about fate or against it. Ambition about something that most won't even think possible. Bravery? No confidence in your own strength. Firm in your beliefs but still there's a silver of doubt inside you. Capable you are but unmotivated about most things." The Hat continued.

" Whatever. " I said getting bored from the Hat.

" No preferences? " The Hat said.

" Nope. All of the houses are shit. Some are better shit than others but shit nonetheless. " I replied.

" Let's see, Let's see... What is that!!" The Hat shouted and I could feel that he had activated my cursed energy as I could feel that my whole body including the Hat were covered in Blue flames. I immediately stopped it though.

" This... this is it!! Finally! " The Hat seemed overjoyed.

" Okay, what is it? " I asked the joyous hat.

"Retribution in hand he'll walk these lands. Master of All and Weaker than none, he shall be the one. " The Hat recited.

" That's a really bad way for a proposal you know. And sorry I don't swing with Hats. " I said.

" Dragon!! "The Hat shouted and it was pulled off from me. 

I could see almost every professor except Dumbledore holding onto the screaming hat.

"Uh... Can someone be kind enough to point me towards House dragon?" I asked and everyone seemed scared. Dad's eyes told me that we were gonna have a long talk after this.

'Well great. ' I thought and walked off the chair.

After that particularly weird moment, the Sorting ceremony continued until it was Draco's turn.

"Dragon!" The Hat shouted again. And by the end of the ceremony Me, Draco, Harriet, Hermione, and Ron were put in a house that no one knew of. Except for me all four of them were given the same reasoning by the Hat.

"It walks, it flies, it roars and it dies." the Hat had said perfectly normally.

" Ah yes, Mr. cuffedass was very fond of that one in particular," I said with fake agreement. In a low voice of course.

All the other tables were talking loudly about us before Dumbledore stood up.

"Silence." He said and everyone turned quiet.

Suddenly all other tables were moved a little as another table for five appeared in the middle of the Hall. Taking it as a cue I went ahead to sit on it with others. Then Dumbledore stood up.

"The very best of evenings to you!... Now… to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you...First-years should note that the forest in the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."

Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.

"The third-floor corridor is also out of bounds this year unless you want to experience a very painful death," Dumbledore said.

'Yeah, real cheerful today aren't we? ' I thought as the students began to whisper. 

"Now let the feast begin," Dumbledore said and food appeared on our table. 

"Well, aren't you gonna eat," I asked as everyone at our table just stared at the food. 

"Well, I hadn't read anything about this!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm sure you didn't. Now pass me the potatoes will ya." I said to a stupefied Hermione.

"Dad's gonna kill me." Draco seemed ready to perish.

"Well your dad's miles away. Mines just 20 steps away and I can promise you this isn't gonna be pleasant for any of us." I said and started to dig in.

Ron just kept repeating 'HeadBoy, Prefect, Headboy, Prefect'.

"How are you so calm?" Harriet asked.

"Well, we do live in a MAGICAL world, Harriet. I can see a dog growing out of a pig's ass tomorrow and I wouldn't be surprised. Now be a dear and eat this. " I said put a piece of chicken in everyone's mouth. Everyone chewed absentmindedly.

" Goddamn it! " I said and began eating my chicken very, very angrily. 

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Ch 32 is already out on Patreon. The link will be down below.