An incessant beeping sound made me open my eyes.Reflexively I Brought a hand up to shield my eyes from the bright lights but found it unnecessary as my vision suddenly cleared.I gasped as I found myself in a smoking hole in the ground with me at the centre.

As I looked around trying to make sense of how I ended up in what is apparently a tropical forest all the way from my house in Russia I am assaulted with a splitting headache.As I lay there clutching my head in absolute agony,my head is assaulted by what appeared to be floating windows.They seem to grow and grow endlessly,most of them displaying cats and dogs and other animals In a pet galore,disturbing amounts of porn and anime fights is what I would like to call them.After a few agonizing moments which seemed like forever I realized that those windows were something like web browsers and with that newfound realization in mind I tried to do interact with those windows in the hope of stopping this pain and miraculously I was able to shut everything down and the pain reduced to a dull throbbing in my forehead.

I was just about to  investigate my current surroundings, my vision glows blurry and I blackout or atleast I think that’s what happened because I suddenly find myself standing in an exact replica of a graveyard.A place I am all to familiar with unfortunately.The place where I buried the last remaining members of my family.

Just as I was about to take the first step into the graveyard,a piece of paper floats down right next to the gate.Now the situation starts ringing warning bells in my head(in hindsight,this should have happened when I first woke up but hey I didn’t have access to my big enhanced brain so I can be excused).Shooting nervouse glances everywhere,I walk up to the gate and pick up the surprisingly rugged feeling paper.It says ROB on one side for some reason.I turn over the paper it says “CONGRATS! YOU HAVE BEEN WHISKED AWAY FROM YOUR NORMAL AVERAGE DEAD END LIFE AND PUT INTO AN EXCITING NEW WORLD.DETAILS TO BE DISCOVERED AT YOUR OWN PERIL…… [ P.S. THE SOONER YOU ACCEPT YOUR FATE THE BETTER. AS A PARTING GIFT I GIVE YOU…*DRUM ROOLS* VIBRANIUM ]

No..no,no,no,no,no,no It all makes sense.The sudden displacement whilst being unconscious,some sort of spirit journey in a place that resembles a place with a heavy emotional connection to the unfortunate victim subjected to the whims of GODDAMN ROB! This is like those reincarnation troped Alan used  to read.

As the realization sinks in that this might not be some dream,I fall on the ground and stare blankly ahead as the piece of paper bursts into flames and once again,maybe due to mental exhaustion or  stress or due to the machinations of the ROB,I black out.

As I finally wake up from the blackout saga,I find myself in the smoking crater once again,flat on my face with the pain my forehead reduced to something you get when you stare at a low resolution screen for extended periods of time.Once again my hope that the dream I had was some high level inception sh*t is crashed as I am most definitely naked in a hole in a dense forest and my life was irreversibly changed due to the whims of somebody.

With a resigned sigh,I get up and try to get some semblance of my surroundings.As I stand up,I notice 2 things immediately.One being that I am definitely not as tall as I once was and Two, I am now pink in colour.My brain short circuits for a moment as I try to understand the weirdness that I had just seen and as I look again for confirmation,yup, I am definitely pink now and the size of a child.

Sigh, what has my life come to.

After the shock subsided, I started going north.With no supplies,no directions,no signs of civilization nearby I was forced to go the OG lost in the forest route,i.e.North.After travelling for an hour with nothing but huge trees in sight I noticed that even with the humid atmosphere that a tropical forest of this size should have I was not sweating nor did I feel dehydrated or anything.I chalked that upto the weirdness that came along with the pink skin and any internal changes it might have had to my physiology.

Eventually,it became dark and I still had not seen any signs of any civilization nearby.I was somewhat amazed by my stamina and my new body I suppose,god it feels so weird to say that.I mean,I had been waking non stop for over 8 hours now and I was just starting to feel a little fatigued though I suppose that could be my mind rather than my body being tired.As  the uncomfortable truth that I might have to spend the night in a hostile environment with no supplies started to settle in,I began to look for shelter.

I eventually found it in the form of a cave,if you could even call it a cave, it was of a burrow than a cave but I was able to fit my child sized body in there so that was a small win I suppose in this whole clusterf*ck of epic proportions that is my life.

As I made myself comfortable(relatively) in the stone cave,I marveled over the capabilities of my current body as I had yet to need any form of susutenance even with hours of intensive physical activity(for a child sized body atleast).I did not feel hungry,thirsty or tired in any meaningful way.I also waked barefoot for so long and yet I have felt no discomfort in my feet.

Well,I suppose now would be a good time to summarise the capabilities of my newly attained body that I have found –

1. Superhuman Durability
2. Superhuman Vision
3. Superhuman Stamina
4. Very little or NO sustenance required ( further testing necessary )

Well atleast the ROB gave me a body suited for the situation I find myself in.As I mentally note to find more about the limits of my body and any extra abilities I might have,I found myself embracing sweet sweet sleep.