Dear God,

The first thing I asked my old brother with I finished telling him everything that happened is:

“What are we going to do?” My voice was weak and broken. A shell of myself.

At that moment, I saw my brother change and become someone I didn't know. I saw his fingers trembling, just like my mother that night so many ago. And I saw him do what he does when he is stressed or anxious: pass his index and middle fingers in his eyebrow. And this motion broke my heart because his fingers were trembling so hard, but he didn't notice because he was somewhere inside his head. He stood there for a long time, just thinking. And I tried my best to become silent and let him think about all the implications of what happened that day. About how everything will change in our lives, and about the things that we will need to do to get our sister back.

“We need to go home. Soon someone will watch us for some time. We need to go home and be calm, because it's just another common day. Nothing happened and we are okay,” he whispered it so fast and looked to every corner of the warehouse, like someone is here, listening to us and anytime someone will arrest us for betrayal. “We're going to fix this, little Moon, I promise”

The way he acted, like a bird in a trap, scared me and made me fear that every single action I make could be viewed as treason. Not only this, but real terror filled up my body that they could arrest us to be suspects of possible treason and that we could not do anything to help the Sun. And at that moment I started to dread my own shadow.

 

***

 

“Walk slow and normal. Don't be guilty,” Ocean said low under his breath.

“I am not guilty. I am innocent. I don't make anything, actually, I am an exemplary citizen,” I said with the most indignation voice I could make at that moment.

“You are a possible guilty person,” he twinkles an eye to me and gives me a bright smile. And I could see that he was trying to make me feel better. He was trying to be happy in the worst moment ever. “You are definitely not an innocent person. You still don't make anything wrong, and consequently you still are, for a short time while, an exemplary citizen. So, if I were a sentinel, I would definitely arrest you for being a possible criminal in the near future. You are totally on the clock to trouble,” he said it with a bright voice, like he was telling me the happiest thing in the nation.

We waited to leave the warehouse when the harbor was busiest. That warehouse was away from the crowd and didn't have a lot of movement, thus obviously it was used to negotiation that required description. I think putting someone in a cage was a good enough transaction to use that place.

We didn't have a lot of problems leaving the harbor, most of the people were more concerned about making their own work than worried about two siblings that shouldn't be there.

We walked slowly, and became just two people making their things on a busy day.

We stayed in our home for a long time and waited for the busiest time of the market. In our home, the air was heavy with the anxiety of what would happen. The silence was suffocating, thus we started to talk.

Ocean and I were lying down in my bedroom when he started to talk.

“Someone killed Aladris today. Sun had a blood oath with her, thus no one could take Sun to somewhere without Aladris’s knowledge and permission, and she would never give it,” while he talked it looked like he was not there, looked like he was inside his head, and I just saw a glimpse of his mind. “If someone wanted the Sun, they would need to get rid of ALadris. And we don't listen to anything of a murder, thus whoever did it is powerful enough to make everyone be silent about it, or make it be a terrible accident. An accident that would need to be fatal to Sun could not be able to help, or Sun would need to be away from the house. But, it would be suspect. Aladris was healthy, she would not just fall from the stairs while Sun was out. How convenient could it be? It doesn't make sense, right?” Ocean was looking to the roof like it had all the answers. “Sun say that she was died in home, in her desk, thus they would say it a murder. No one died on a desk with a healer in the home, even if Sun was not in the home. ALadris’s health would not just vanish because the Sun was a few days away. And if someone could kill Aladris, this person could make someone pay for that crime. It is easy, just have enough money, power, and influence. But, they would need to send the Sun away, because if they send after the murder it would be suspect. Thus, ALadris would officially die tomorrow. Because Sun traveled today, before she died. A terrible tragedy, unfortunately. They would need to falsify the papers to make Sun’s travel lawful. But it would not be a problem if you could kill someone like Aladris,” Ocean talked slowly, like he was trying to organize his mind, putting every piece of idea out of his mind to make it clear and rational.

“It makes sense. Now the big question is: who does it? We know that whoever does it has power and influence to do it. But inside these characteristics there are a lot of people,” I said, looking to the roof, trying to see the answers that Ocean was looking for. “I think it is not someone inside the nation, because there would be no need to take her out of the nation.”

“It would be needed if this person were to make it underhand,” he said that he was experiencing the idea. “No, it would be a mess. If Sun just vanished and Aladris appeared murdered, it would be chaos. Sun would be considered a deserter and a murderer. Everyone would go after her, and everyone with her would be considered a sympathizer. This is a horrible plan, and the risk would be too high. The possibility of being murdered, or hanged in the middle of the night, makes everyone think twice about a plan, at least I think it.”

 “But if someone inside the nation, do it — the murder, the forgery of papers for Sun to travel, everything —, what would happen? Sun makes the oath to Aladris, thus Sun would be free if she died, right?”

“If Aladris died before the end of the oath, she would go to the military, like everyone. The military probably would not let her make any oath anymore. They would want her on the battlefield, helping the soldiers,” he said that phrase like it was carved into the stone.

“Okay. A foreign nation is more plausible. They took a healer, thus someone powerful is dying or knows someone that is dying,” at that moment, my mind was creating the most variable situations and possibilities. “I think it is not an allied nation,” I said like a lightning hit me.

“Because if it were an allied nation, Aladris would have sent Sun for a few weeks. She would try to keep the alliance.”

We lay down in my bed for a while, thinking about the potential nation that could have taken the Sun.

“Sagafry?” Ocean asked.

 “The court has a healer. The same kind of Sun. Pureblood, for what the rumors tell.” Ocean looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “A person in my classroom in the academy has a parent who is a merchant from Sagafry,” I explained the foreign knowledge. “They are really proud of it. Sagafry’s king probably will live more than any of us. Duanti?”

No, they don't like magic. They probably prefer that all the royal family die than use a healer.”

Somehow I still can feel the expectation and anxiety in the air while we stayed in silence looking in our mind for answers that would decide our destiny and change our lives forever. That was a dangerous game that we played. Trust ourselves to choose where to go, because discretion is the only thing that would allow us to leave the nation.

I don't remember how many names we said and discarded. Some names were discarding for real knowledge, others were discarding for rumors that we heard over the years, and others were just speculation that Ocean heard in the war.

We are in a silence sepulchral when Ocean started to speak:

     “Some weeks before we came home, I was in the camp with some guys from the allied nation, it was just after a battle, thus I was fucking tired, and I was just trying to take a nap. They talked a lot, and honestly I think they are just trying to forget what happened that day, and focus on other shit. Thus, their gossip didn't bother me a lot. Anyway, at some point they talked about the movement of the army of Kratius. It took my total attention, because I remember that I thought: “Oh, God, other fucking war. They don't get tired of doing this shit?”. But, the big deal is that they were speculating if Kratius would continue the movement, because The Kratius’s Queen was sick, and somehow in that place it was common knowledge that the King really cared about his wife. I almost didn't remember that conversation, honestly.”

“If I remember correctly, Kratius borders Taledus.”

 “Yes, they do. And no one of these nations is our ally,” Ocean sat on my bed. “I think it makes sense, right? Kratius was preparing for a war against only god knows who. And they are not our ally, and for what I know they are rich, thus The Guardians would want to participate in the bloodbath, principally if Taledus is involved. Thereby, what better way to get an ally than to save the king's family? It's perfect. All these benefits, and they just needed to kill a person, and kidnap another,” he looked at me, and in his face had a grimace that in some wicked way remembered a smile.

“It makes sense. I totally can see the guardians doing this.”

I could see that anger in his eyes, and how he was striving to be calm and rational, and don't let his emotions cloud his thoughts. I stayed in silence for a hundred years, just seeing him fight against himself, against all that's inside him. I stayed in silence for two hundred years, and I saw many feelings pass over his face, and in his sea eyes. I stayed in silence for three hundred years when I saw my brother come back to me, and become the person I knew my entire life.

When I saw that he have control over his emotional, I whispered:

“Are we going to bet on Kratius?”

“I think it's the best choice, little Moon. Besides that, we probably will hear about a new healer in a foreign court in some way or another. A member of the royal family, or someone important in the territory, doesn't just get healthy, and nobody knows anything about it. People talk about this type of shit,” he scowled at me in the last part.

“Okay, it makes sense. But the big problem is: how do we get there? Flying?”

“No way. I don't know about you, but I can't fly more than two days without stopping, And the closest island to us is between three and four days away. I think the best is for the sea. Besides that, I can control our speed,” Ocean raised his hand, and a swirl of water danced there. “And we can use grandfather’s compass. Thus, I think a boat is better. It's small, and in the ocean it will be more difficult to see. Actually, I think we can steal Adias’s boat.”

“I don't think so. Since Adias stopped going to wars, he got a little different. He developed erratic behavior, he doesn't have exactly a routine. Thus, I don't think it’s a good idea to steal from him, he can be awake and see us. It would be terrible. A big mess, honestly,” I said, sitting on my bed too.

“Okay, if you are sure. But who will be our victim?”

“Olavi.”

“No fucking way. He probably will feel that we are there, or he will feel that something is wrong, and how all paranoid old men will stay awake all night. That old fox is cunning and dangerous. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it,” he said everything so serious and solemn that I did my best to not laugh in his face.

The big thing between those two are that Olavi and Ocean have a complex relationship that involves years of hostility and distrust, coming from both sides.

Olavi was our neighbor our entire childhood. He was an old Guardian that after stopping going to wars decided to have a quiet life and take care of the community, more specifically the kids of the community. But the problem is that we lived outside the walls, near the sea and the beach, and there didn't exist a lot of children. Because the people who lived in that village were older, after years of wars, they wanted a quiet place to live, away from the noise of the city. Thus, due to the lack of many children, Olavi managed to devote part of his free time to ensuring that Ocean was a good boy. The only problem is that Ocean didn't like to be a good boy, actually in the words of 10 years old Ocean:

“I’m a bad boy, mom. You have to understand it. You can't control my wild spirit,” he really said it, with each word. Mom loved to tell everyone about it.

If Olavo were just a curious neighbor it would be okay, Ocean could live with that, we could live with that. But Olavo told every single thing that Ocean made wrong to our mom. When mom was away in some war, and Ocean skipped class, or he ran away from school to sleep in our home, Olavo would tell her everything. And as a consequence of Olavo's little gossip, Ocean and I always got in trouble. Because, unfortunately to me, Ocean never left me behind, not your little sister.

Honestly, I always wonder how Olavo remembers everything, no one has such a good memory.

Thus, as young Ocean got a little older, he started to avoid at all costs our dear Olavo. And the old Ocean has a strong opinion that the beloved Olavo was The evil incarnation, of course he had reason for such thoughts

When I got control of myself, and I was sure that I will not laugh in Ocean face, I said to him:

“Sorry, Ocean, but Olavi is the best option. He has a good boat, and he is the one who lives closest to the sea.” I said to the grumpy boy. “And don't worry, if he sees us steal the boat, I will protect you, brother.” I blink an eye to him.

“Okay, smarty. We will steal the old fox. Now, about our next problem, I think I will find a way to pass the sentries in our little trip out of this place, thus you don't need to worry about this ship,” he said it was the easiest in the world, a walk in the park.

“Really? If you don't mind me asking, how?”

“It's simple, my dear sister, I will drink.”

 

***

 

After that phrase, Ocean flatly refused to say anything about his intentions about how he would deceive the sentries, and makes us come out alive to tell a happy story.

 

***

 

Ocean and I went to the market when there were more people and did our shopping for the week.

We buy things that could last longer and don't spoil up so easily. Not only that, but we bought what was enough for me and Ocean to have a good week of alimentation, and we bought Sun things for when she got home.

Honestly, go to the market really looked a stupid idea. Ocean said that we needed to be calm and act like normal people, but buying a lot of food doesn't look to me as someone that was not guilty. However, according to Ocean we are not in the warehouse, thus we don't know that they took Sun somewhere. Consequently, we were just two people making purchases and taking care of our own life.

Ocean said that someone will warn us that my sister is not in the Nation anymore tomorrow afternoon, or tomorrow night. Thus, we have more than a whole day of not being possible traitors.

When we got home, we packed everything the best way we could. It was not enough food, but it was what we could buy without raising suspicion of a merchant, or a lovely lady that could see us there, or even our neighbors that knew that we could not eat so much food.

“I need to go to the Guardian’s training in the afternoon, and after that I will drink with some guys.” He said low and quiet. “You're going to go to the academy, right?” I shook my head. “Okay, thus we will just see each other later in the night,” he gave me a smile, a sad smile, a smile that broke my heart, and at the same time that smile gave me hope for a better day, a sunny day. “When you come home, take a nap. If you get hungry after the academy, eat on the street, don't eat the packed food. Okay, little Moon, I need to go. Wish me luck.”

After that, he gave me a hug. A big hug. Ocean’s hug, that feels like happiness on a stormy day, and smells like salty water on a spring day. I did my best to not cry in that dark moment. I did my best to be strong for Ocean, and for Sun. But the only thing I wanted to do was keep my brother with me, and don't let anything bad happen to him, and keep him safe and keep him happy.

But what I did, what I forced myself to say, was:

“Good luck, my brother.”

 

***

 

Dear God, thank you for listening to me and staying with me. Please, be with my family in difficult times, and protect them in the dark times. Please give us a good night of sleep. That’s what I ask you and appreciate, God.