Goblin Quest
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They returned to the hamlet, Hadiin with a decided spring in his step, visions of gold coins in his head. The sky was suddenly bluer, the day, like his prospects, was brighter. 

Then they emerged from the forest onto the hamlet’s dirt streets and, surrounded by the little huts and shabby population, reality came crashing down. Hadiin came to an abrupt stop, the smile melting off his face. 

Marian turned to him with a worried and confused expression. “What’s wrong?” 

“It seems that I’ve been getting a bit ahead of myself,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed and watched a pair of chickens run past. “I mean that my ambition outstrips our current environment.”

“Huh?”

“Well, there’s no point in putting my brilliant idea into practice right now because the people here are too poor to buy anything. We’d hardly make a single silver piece in this village.”

She shrugged. “Ok. So? We sell whatever you wanted to sell here and then go on to the next town later.”

He shook his head. “Market advantage. Right now, we have it because I’ve just come up with a new idea. But the moment we put our idea into production, someone will come along and copy it. It is just an idea, after all. And if they have more money and means than we do, then they’ll take off with our idea, leaving us in the dust of poverty.”

“Ah, ok. What do we do?”

“Capital. Resources. We need to make sure that we have enough in place to not only be first to market but also to carve ourselves out a niche and grow so fast that it will discourage casual competition.”

“So we need more money and a bigger town to sell our stuff in. What are we selling, by the way? You haven’t said.”

He ignored that last part. Better he kept the idea to himself, for now. “Right, capital and a bigger town. Is the next town nearby?”

She nodded and pointed north. “Just over that ways. It’s an overnight walk, I think.” She cocked her head. “Ok, I assume whatever we’re doing has something to do with cryo slime. But how are we going to collect enough to sell? And how are we going to carry it all to the next town? Neither of us have magic bags.”

“Excellent critical thinking, Marian!” he enthused, moving deeper into the village. 

She smiled at that, suddenly flustered and hurried to follow. 

He clapped his hands and strode with determination. “You’re absolutely correct: our carrying capacity is far too low at the moment. As merchants, that will be a severe handicap. Ergo…ah.” He changed direction and made for a farm on the edge of the village. 

The farm was small, of course. Grain grew in a large square plot next to a crude wood-and-thatch home. A horse munched from a trough next to the house. A covered wagon sat by the edge of the field. 

Hadiin waved and smiled at the man working the garden next to the field. “Hello, and good day, sir!”

The farmer was lean and older, with a mostly-bald head and gnarled hands around his hoe. He slowly straightened up with a groan. “Afternoon. What can I do ya fer?”

“Your wagon and horse. I would like to purchase them,” Hadiin confidently announced.

The farmer laughed. “And how would I get to Belleville town, way over yonder? Or transport anything? Like this here grain, come harvest time.” He chuckled. 

“I’m sure that we can make an arrangement for future transportation in that regard,” Hadiin answered. “But for right now, I’d like to buy the pair: horse and wagon. How much, my good man?”

The farmer turned serious and slightly frowned. “Not really for sale.”

“I understand. And I’m not here to make your life difficult, really. Let’s say that if I were to buy your horse and wagon from you, I would guarantee that you got your entire harvest to market, on time. I myself would transport it for free if need be. And with the money from the sale of said horse and wagon, you could soon buy new.”

The farmer scratched his head. “Dunno about that.”

“A shiny, brand new wagon. You’d be the talk of this hamlet, I’ll bet.”

The farmer raised his head at that. “Well, maybe.”

Hadiin continued to stroke his ego. “Handsome new horse, young and strong and with even more years on him than this one. People would admire that upgrade, surely. Makes you look right smart, doesn’t it?”

Pride puffed out the older man’s bony chest. “Yessir, they would.” He hesitated only a moment more. “All right then. A gold for the wagon, mister.”

Hadiin tried not to flinch. A gold for that old thing? Outrageous! 

“And two more for the horse,” the farmer continued.

“Two!” Hadiin exclaimed, unable to control himself.

The farmer bowed his head agreeably. “Horse is worth more than a wagon. Can make a new wagon myself with some help from the blacksmith here. Can’t make myself another horse and no telling when I could track down a good one.”

“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t be all that difficult—“

The farmer grinned and stuck out his hand to shake on the deal. “Three gold. Ya got yerself a deal.”

Hadiin forced a smile and shook the man’s hand, thoughts of murder and simply taking the items inelegantly flying through his mind. These were quickly eclipsed with calculations. He had about two-and-a-half gold. He was half a gold short. “I shall return as soon as I can with the money. Thank you.”

“No, thank you! Now I think about it, ‘bout time I had a new wagon. Don’t mind having a new horse either. Rather excited now.” He turned back to his garden and whistled a happy tune as he worked. 

Hadiin and Marian turned and headed away.

Hadiin did not wonder at the man’s newfound cheer. Somehow, he felt that the farmer had gotten the better of him by far. Should he forgo the deal and look elsewhere for ways to make money? Journey directly to the new town and look for a wagon and horse there? Three gold for the pair might be a steal. Or he might be getting completely ripped off. He had no way to tell. He could ask about town but wasn’t sure he’d trust any of the answers he got. After all, these were the farmer’s people and small, rural settlements like this were often closely united. 

“I think he suckered you,” Marian chipped in, breaking the silence.

Hadiin nearly growled.  

“What now?” Marian asked. She seemed content to let him lead things, which was exactly how Hadiin preferred it as well. The idea of being in control was very appealing. 

“Goblin quest,” Hadiin stated without fanfare. 

Her eyes widened. “The goblin quest? Seriously? That’s sixteen goblin heads!”

“But we can earn the better part of a gold doing it.”

She held her hands up. “Wait, what do you mean we?”

“Now now, be reasonable. It takes money to make money.”

“So I’m, like, an investor? Does that mean I get to own a share of whatever we’re gonna do? Do I get a share of the horse and wagon?”

Hadiin nearly gagged at the idea of sharing ownership. Perish the thought! Absolutely not. That would lead to losing control and it could cost him more in the long run. “A percentage of future profits. We’ll raise money together and I promise that you’ll get a healthy percentage of whatever we earn in town from our first venture.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Fifty-fifty?”

He cringed but didn’t shoot her down. He was tempted to say eighty-twenty in his favour, but, realistically, he was the one at the disadvantage here. He needed her magical damage to kill the goblins and, later, more slimes. He needed her coin to buy the horse and wagon. If she were smarter, she would be the one demanding eighty-twenty right now. Better to not even suggest the idea one side of the agreement taking more than half lest it then occur to her to demand it for herself. So, fifty-fifty it was. “Agreed,” he acquiesced with a smile.

She nodded, content enough. “Good. That’s fair.”

They found the farmer who’d been attacked, Grant Dougal, sitting on a porch bench outside his farmhouse, nursing an arm with bloodstained bandages all over it. Heavy bandages wrapped his otherwise bare chest as well. He was weeping softly, alone and brokenhearted. He looked up at their approach and wiped the tears from his eyes with his good arm. “Y-you folks here about the goblins?”

“We are indeed,” Hadiin replied. 

“What happened?” Marian asked.

“Bunch of ‘em raided my farm last night. Killed my only cow. Took my wife. Left me for dead. Passerby found me this morning and patched me up, saved my life.”

Hadiin tried not to think to hard about the fact that the man had mentioned losing a cow before losing his wife. He was probably just reading too much into the words. 

The farmer looked worn from being through both battle and emotional trauma. He had cuts on his face as well, barely scabbed over. He seemed to gather himself. “Little green monsters have become more and more of a problem the past few months. Attacking hunters and even raiding farms. I tried—“ He broke off for a moment, anger rising sharply. “—tried talking to the others about it. But that dumb Sam Ferris, he wouldn’t listen. None of ‘em would. Said it was nothing. Said the hunters would git ‘round to them sooner or later. The fools. Cowards just didn’t want to risk the danger.” He sniffed and wiped away fresh tears. “Goblins breed faster ‘an rabbits. Once they get rooted, numbers explode. It was only a matter of time before they became worse.”

“So, you’d like help rescuing your wife,” Hadiin surmised. 

“Far as I can tell, they’re out that way, probably hiding out in the hills.” He pointed south. “Find them. Make them pay. All of them. Kill ‘em all! Bring me every head and I’ll give you all the coin I got. Eighty-seven silver. My oath on it.” He devolved into tears.

Hadiin nodded. He looked at Marian and gestured to the road. “Shall we?”

Marian looked distinctly uncomfortable as they left the farm. “This is…not the type of quest I was expecting to go on. It’s more…um, well it’s darker than I figured.”

“That’s realism, I suppose.”

Marian was nervous. “I’m level two. You’re, what, only level one?”

“There are actual levels? Like a video game?”

“Guess so. I got a notification when I levelled up to two. I guess this magical system they have somehow measures personal growth.”

 “That’s fascinating. I wonder how they made such a thing. It must have been incredibly complicated.” He glanced her way. “Why’d you want to know my level?”

She shrugged. “There’s no way we can take out an entire goblin nest on our own. We might be able to pick some off but we really should find a larger party.”

“Too bad there are no adventurers around here. Maybe we could recruit those hunters I saw earlier.”

“Maybe. They’re probably higher level than we are.”

“That farmer said that folks here weren’t supportive of going after the goblins. Wonder if them kidnapping a woman has changed their minds.”

“If not, we might be able to bribe them to join us.”

“Which will cut into our reward.”

“Better that than dead.”

“True.”

They sought out the three hunters that Hadiin had previously witnessed. They were resting around a firepit, maintaining their bows and knives while the deer hung nearby, draining.

With luck, it turned out that these men were more amenable to doing something about the goblin issue, now that larger disaster had struck than losing a few pilfered vegetables or chickens. However, it did take the promise of twenty-five silver to actually enlist their help and get them to commit.

Hadiin was annoyed that this would leave him with barely enough to buy the horse and wagon, but there was no other choice. 

They headed south in search of the goblin nest. There was no road, only wild forest and it was a couple of hours before they noticed the terrain becoming hilly up ahead. As they drew closer to the presumed destination, they proceeded with much more caution, picking their way through the undergrowth in silence. 

Given quiet and time to think, it was rather surreal to think that Hadiin was suddenly on a goblin-hunting quest in a fantasy world. Just this morning, he’d been working in a shipping warehouse and in the only life he’d ever known. To be here, like this…? On the one hand, his brain seemed to be rolling with it, highly adaptable. On the other hand, the moment he tried to rationally think about the situation, his brain threatened to rebel and melt.

At first glance, Marian seemed rather more at home with the sudden life change. He wanted to talk about it but figured they should probably refrain while there were locals about. 

While the goddess had mentioned that travelling between worlds was done often enough, he guessed that ‘often’ to a goddess might mean something different and that locals in this world very well might freak out if they thought he was an alien. He did not relish the idea of being dissected or burned at the stake or something. 

The forest grew darker and even wilder, indicating old growth. Tree trunks grew wider. Old trees long fallen lay under beds of moss and leaves, with saplings growing out of them. 

A movement to the side caught Hadiin’s attention and he stopped, motioning for Marian and the others to do the same. 

A pair of goblins, armed with crude, wood-and-stone spears, ambled carelessly along a narrow track in the underbrush. They chatted in grunts and squeals and whatever noises seemed to make up their language. The creatures were about a meter tall, thin and wiry with dark green skin and largish heads and big, hooked noses. They wore only leather loincloths. In the dimness of the forest, their eyes had a red tint. 

Hadiin motioned downwards and they lay belly down in the grass. He leaned over and whispered quietly to the others. “Let them pass, then take them from behind?”

Marian and the others nodded. “Yeah.” She gestured towards some fallen branches nearby. “Arm yourself. Just in case.”

Hadiin nodded. After the goblins had strolled by, he gingerly crawled over to the branches and found one that would serve as a weapon. Then he nodded to his team. 

Marian rose up and stalked behind the enemy, quietly growing closer. She raised her hands and a fan of flames whooshed out, engulfing the goblins from only a couple of meters away. 

The goblins screamed and whirled, brandishing their spears, even as they ineffectually tried to block the flames coming at them. 

The flames flickered out.

Hadiin rushed forward and swung the branch with all his might—and missed. He stumbled past, caught himself, and spun back to his targets, then swung again. Wiff, another miss. 

Even the goblins looked at him in surprise. 

Hadiin cursed in his head. Right, he had never done this before. He tried again, this time smacking the nearer goblin over the bald skull. 

The goblin only looked annoyed. 

Hadiin groaned. 

“Out of the way!” Marian hissed. Without waiting, she cast her fire spell once more. 

He dove out of range.

The goblins cried out and fell to the ground. Their bodies blackened and crackled. 

When the flames died down, Hadiin jumped back in, flailing for all he was worth. It wasn’t much and his blows grew slower and more pathetic each time.

This…was not an inspiring show of strength. Panting and sweating, Hadiin became very conscious of just how pathetic this made him look in front of the woman fighting alongside him. He blushed, hoping that she wouldn’t notice. Still, he was too committed to give up and continued to bash the fallen goblins until they had both fully succumbed. 

Satisfied, he straightened with a smile and turned to Marian, branch over one shoulder. 

And a goblin arrow hit him in the leg. 

“Mother of a retarded goat!” Hadiin spat in anger. “Ow!” That really hurt. 

“Hide!” Marian shouted, diving into the cover of a nearby bush. 

Hadiin foolishly yanked the arrow out and hobbled after her. Then he noticed just how badly he was bleeding from the open wound.

Idiot. He sourly realized he should have broken the shaft and left the head in his leg. He flattened himself behind a fallen log, muttered to himself. “Merchant might not have been the most practical choice.” 

Two more arrows thudded into the wood over his head. 

“Can you reach them?” he shouted to Marian.

“I can’t see them!”

“Either we get to them or they bring down the whole tribe on us.”

“I know!” she scowled back. “Why not throw yourself out in the open and draw them from hiding for me?”

“I would, darling, really. But I’m already bleeding quite enough, thank you very much.”

She grumbled something too quietly to hear, but he could guess the nature of it.

“I have every faith in you and your brilliant magical arts, Marian!” he called. He looked around. What had happened to the hunters? Had they abandoned the pair and run off? His stomach sank.

The sound of her flames lighting up the forest carried through the air. Goblin screams followed. 

Then came the sound of attackers quickly crashing through the underbrush, followed by the unmistakable sounds of arrows hitting flesh. 

Had they attacked Marian? Hadiin jumped up without thinking and was halfway over the tree trunk in her direction before he realized what was going on. 

The hunters had joined the action: two shot their bows while the third chopped with a hand axe. In moments, the four goblin archers that had been attacking soon lay dead.

Marian wiped sweat from her brow. “Thanks, guys,” she told the hunters.

The axe-wielder turned to her. “Your magic is impressive.”

Marian nodded. “You’re pretty good yourselves. Glad we’ve teamed up.”

Axe grinned. “Yeah.”

All three males were no doubt positively thrilled to have assisted the well-figured damsel in distress and were already dreaming of ways that they might be rewarded. 

Hadiin spoiled this to a degree by approaching. His leg hurt but the bleeding had slowed. That had been dangerous, and they hadn’t even gotten to the goblin nest yet. “Six dead goblins already, maybe ten to go. Should be easy enough for us to finish the task.”

One of the archers waved them forward. “Let’s go. I’ve been in these parts before. There’s a cave over here. I’ll bet that’s where we’ll find them.” 

They came across two guards outside the cave. The archers shot one and Marian flamed the other before the axeman chopped the monsters down, finishing the ugly creatures off. 

Marian began to walk towards the cave when Axe held her back. 

“Wait,” he told her.

Sure enough, four more goblins came pouring out to meet them. They, too, died in short order. 

They delved into the dark. 

Archer One pulled a torch out and lit it with sparks from a flint. 

“Ooh,” Marian cooed. “Smart.”

“Thanks!” he replied. “Grabbed it before we left. Figured vermin live underground and it would come in handy.”

The cave was narrow and dank and the ceiling low enough that they all had to bend over; it would make fighting difficult. The tunnel started out with somewhat smooth sides and the remains of a corpse in one corner indicated that it had once been home to a bear. But the goblins had obviously excavated deeper into the hill. The walls around them became rough and the dirt and clay damp. 

“This is not terribly safe,” Hadiin observed, watching a clump of soil drop from the ceiling.

The light of the torch guided them to a rough door made from torn planks, probably scavenged from some farmer’s fence or barn. 

Axe patted them into a crouch and spoke in a whisper. “They could be just beyond here. Another six, if our estimates are correct. Which they might not be. We need to try to not get overwhelmed.” 

Archer Two pointed to himself and Marian and Axe. “We’ll take on any free goblins.” He pointed to the other archer and Hadiin. “You two go for Grace. You’ve got to save her before in case they try to cut her throat or something.”

Marian laid a serious hand on Hadiin. It seemed that the quest was personal for her. “You can do this.”

Hadiin agreed. “I’ll do my best.”  

They set up in front of the door. When all were ready, Axe flung the portal open and everyone charged inside. 

The nest was a cramped space, the ceiling still no more than a meter and a half high. A firepit burned brightly in the center, a small hole in the ceiling allowing smoke to escape. The place stunk of feces and sweat and rotten food. All kinds of disgusting detritus lay on the ground, from moldy intestines to brown apple cores to a male human head. A hole in the ground circled by flies was best not explored or even approached. 

The farmer’s wife, Grace, her pale blue dress torn and muddy, was pinned to the floor of a cage made of branches. 

Four goblins sitting around the fire immediately jumped up in surprise at the intrusion. Knives and swords were within reach and they instantly armed themselves. 

Axe wasted no time, barreling into the four and swinging hard, knocking the first two aside. An arrow appeared in the chest of one. Flames made the cave as bright as day. 

Hadiin dashed forward towards the cage door.

The battle was violent but brief. Even in close quarters, arrows had a devastating impact on the little goblin bodies. And Axe had a strong arm. Of course, Marian’s fire spell essentially boiled and burned them alive on the spot. The goblins had no chance. 

They returned to the village. The men carried the many goblin heads acquired as proof of their deed. Hopefully, the heads would make the presence of the goblins more real to folks and scare them into being warier in the future so that events like this didn’t happen again. 

Marian stuck close to Grace’s side, holding her hand and talking comfortingly all the way. She seemed confused and scared and worried but she allowed herself to be led.

When Grant saw them coming from his porch, he jumped up in shock and staggered down to the dirt to meet them. “Grace!”

She shuddered as she saw him and shied away, but Marian very gently guided her closer. 

Grant studied her as they approached. “Are you ok? Did they…? What did they…?”

Grace turned back to her husband and threw herself at him and buried her face in his chest. “It was horrible! They hurt me, Grant. They did terrible things to me. I’m so sorry!”

He smiled, all charm. “So good to see the two of you successfully reunited. And I believe you wanted these.” He dropped the goblin heads that he’d carried at the man’s feet. 

The others tossed theirs over, too. The hunters looked quite glad to be rid of the bloody burden.

Grant, with one arm around his sobbing wife, held her to his chest. “Thank you so much. I’m afraid I don’t have much, but please, take it. And my gratitude for bringing Grace back alive. I can’t believe you actually got justice for what those monsters did. Thank you.” He pulled a cloth purse from his hip and handed it over. 

Hadiin accepted the coins and bowed his head. As he’d had to pay the hunters out of his own pocket in advance, he pocketed the entire pouch. It occurred to him that he should count the coins but knew that doing so would appear very rude and reluctantly ignored that thought. 

Hadiin bowed his head to the three hunters. “Thank you kindly, gentlemen. Without you, Grace would never have been saved. You’re all heroes.” It never hurt to throw a little flattery around and make a good impression. Who knows when they might need the help of these men in the future?

Archer One nodded back. “Thank you.” He looked at Marian. “It was your magic that allowed us to prevail.”

Hadiin sensed the man’s desire to worm his way into Marian’s good graces. “Absolutely. She was magnificent. Farewell.” He waved. 

The three got the not-so-subtle hint and waved back. They turned away, casting glances back at Marian as they departed that indicated they were somewhat disappointed that things weren’t turning out differently. 

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