Marian found Ravellis and Jax already in the Adventurers Guild when she arrived just before nine in the morning. The place was quiet, perhaps experiencing a lull between the breakfast rush when early-going adventurers headed out and lunch. A server was cleaning tables in the eating area and a female clerk was checking quests up on the board, pulling some down and putting new ones up.

Jax, not the most noteworthy male specimen, looked like he’d made an effort to groom himself. His previously messy blond hair had been trimmed to a neat buzz cut and the stale smell of sweat on him from yesterday was much reduced. Someone had gotten him to shine up his worn and ill-fitting leather armour. That someone had likely been Ravellis, as the sword-witch fussed over him in a somewhat motherly manner, which was causing him to roll his eyes and brush her off, visibly annoyed. A big cloth-and-leather backpack sat at Jax’s feet while Ravellis wore a smaller, white leather one on her back. 

“Hey.” Marian strolled up. 

Rave whirled, the hem of her black robe swirling and her face brightening behind those huge, wire-framed glasses. “Hello! Good morning! Thank you for coming.” She paused, confused and then awkward. “Oh. Dear me. I…” She frowned as if trying to recall something. 

A lightbulb flashed in Marian’s still-sleepy brain. “It’s Marian. I don’t know if I said that yesterday. And you’re…Ravellis?”

The other woman sagged in embarrassed relief and smiled. “Yes. But Rave is fine. Marian.” She reached out to shake hands. “And this is Jax.”

The young man stepped forward for his own handshake and tried to look charming, which just came off as greasy. “Miss Marian. You’re looking so lovely I feel like I just levelled up and got a plus-two boost to my stamina today.”

Rave groaned and pinched her nose. Then she slapped Jax’s hand away from Marian’s. “I’m sorry. I’m working on him but he’s addicted to litrpg novels and game culture. He’s obsessed with min-maxing stats and numbers. Unfortunately, he’s much less interested in developing social skills for use with real girls.”

It was Jax’s turn to frown and he spoke defensively. “There’s nothing wrong with 2D girls. Or collecting figurines.”

Marian’s brows rose. They had such things in this world too?

Rave rolled her eyes. “You see?” She hastily took Marian’s arm and led her over to the quest board, putting the geeky male behind them. “Anyways. Shall we see what quests are available? I was taking a glance earlier. There are some interesting ones. Things we might be able to do in one day.”

Marian allowed herself to be led and glanced around the room. “Where are the other two members of the party?”

“Waiting outside the city already. Um, early risers. We’ll catch up.” She waved the question away as if it wasn’t important, but there was definitely something suspicious going on. 

Marian wondered if joining up had been a mistake. Jax wasn’t giving off heroic vibes and Rave still seemed really nervous. What if the other two party members were as bad or worse? 

She had to remind herself that she was a beginner too. This wasn’t some video game. Besides, how bad could the others possibly be if Rave was in a party with them? She didn’t seem like the kind who would keep company with truly awful people. She appeared clumsy and flighty but also earnest and seemingly sincere except when she was covering up whatever secret was involved with the other members. 

They browsed the quests. 

“This one is for hunting giant wasps.” Rave pointed to a posting. “Seems there’s a new nest nearby. Could be a bit dangerous though.”

Jaz was reading one. “Collecting spotted pink toadstools.” He slid sideways. “Or fishing for black trout.”

“Or how about how about this one?” Rave read another. “A few cattle have been killed and eaten recently. Suspected bear that’s become aggressive.”

Marian frowned. This was her first official Adventurers Guild quest. While it might make sense to start small, she was excited and wanted to tackle something cooler. “These are small-fry requests. I thought you guys wanted to team up to do something more aggressive. I just bought these mana well earrings and I want to test them out.”

A blush tinted Rave’s cheeks. “Well, it would be nice to take on something higher level and better paying. If you’re sure you can handle it.”

Marian shrugged. “As long as I can burn it to ash, we’re good to go.” A posting caught her eye. “How about this? Zombies are flammable, right?”

ZOMBIE INFESTATION

Location: East of Belleville, 2 hours by foot 

(see attached map)

Reward: 50 silver 

Quest:

The location is home to a licensed necromancer (Marty Pimpledink, human, male, 24 y.o.) who was given permission to study and practice necromancy strictly on non-human corpses just outside of the old cemetery. 

However, there has been no contact with the necromancer in some months, there are increasing reports of various zombie creatures in the area that are out of control, and the number of zombies seems to be increasing.

Goals vary based on whether contact can be re-established with the necromancer. See below.

Goals A:

• Contact the necromancer and help reduce the number of zombies to within the contracted number (3)
• Ascertain that all zombies are non-human and eliminate any that are human
• If human zombies have been animated, arrest Marty Pimpledink and any accomplices, and deliver to Belleville Watch
• If no human zombies are found, advise necromancer to immediately contact the Adventurers Guild or face termination of his agreement within three days of contact being made

Goals B: 

(if necromancer is unavailable or dead)

• Eliminate all undead
• Destroy any magic or magical device that may be animating fresh undead

Reward Bonuses For:

High-level undead that are disposed of, with proof. 

These were outlawed as per the agreement with the necromancer but creatures may have evolved or he may have exceeded the terms with his experiments. 

Adventurers are advised to proceed with caution.

Jax paled at reading the part about high-level undead but Rave was quite excited. 

“This looks like quite the endeavour!” she gushed. “Classic adventuring. Just what I had in mind when we decided on this career path.” Then a brow raised in Marian’s direction. “Are you sure you have the firepower for it?”

“Sure. Probably. If not, we run.” She tsked. “Shame it’s only for half a gold. Maybe we should hope for some kind of bonus.”

Jax snorted. “It’s more than we’ve earned on any quest so far.”

Rave looked sad. “Yes. Most quests for our level are only for a few silver.”

The young man nodded towards a posting. “Collecting twenty-five pink toadstools. Five silver. It would probably take all day to find them because they like hiding in tall grass in the deeper woods. You’d make as much or more at almost any job in the city for a day’s labour and wouldn’t have to worry about being attacked by monsters.”

“But,” Rave countered, “we’re self-employed and outdoors getting fresh air and sunshine. We just have to keep at it until we level up and get better. Then we can take higher-level quests.”

Marian felt a sour pit in her stomach. Half a gold for a reward after four hours of walking and however many hours it took to destroy a bunch of undead: a full day’s work and split five ways was ten silver each. She’d made a lot more selling ice cream and gotten decidedly spoiled. 

Well, that’s probably why most adventurers were poor and a lot more people chose jobs in the regular economy. She just had to focus on the future. The money might be low right now but as she became stronger, the money would get better. Hadn’t that rich Weasel guy been an adventurer once? That was probably how he’d gotten enough money to go into business. Well, she was just starting out. She had to be patient. 

No matter how discouraging it was after having already made hundreds of gold in a single week. 

They took the quest to the front desk and handed it to the clerk, the same middle-aged woman who’d signed Marian up. She gave them a polite smile as she took the post and scanned it. Her brows rose and she eyed Ravellis and Jax before speaking a little more to Marian than the other two. “You’re adventuring together?”

“Well,” Marian answered, “for today, sure.”

The clerk nodded slowly and spoke more generally to them all. “This quest isn’t typically what your party goes after. Even with the addition of Marian, are you sure you want to tackle something so ambitious? It could be challenging at your level.” She rummaged and brought out a book. Flipping quickly to a page, she located an entry with her finger. “You also have a sage and an alchemist, correct? I see that they still haven’t come in to personally register.” She frowned at that last part.

Rave bobbed her head. “Yes, that’s right.”

“No cleric with anti-undead spells? Do you have artifacts that work on the undead?”

Marian shrugged, unconcerned. “Zombies burn, right?”

“Yes…”

“Then we’ll be fine.”

The clerk pursed her lips but relented. “Ok. Well, I suppose this will be a good test of your own abilities, Marian. And we’ll see if the rest of the party is up to something a little more difficult than the usual jobs.” She made a note in a ledger and stamped the posting, handing it back. “Please do be very careful out there. As I tell all adventurers, no matter their rank, if you get into trouble, don’t hesitate to play it safe and run away. You can always tackle the job again another day once you’re better prepared or have more help. There’s no glory for the dead.”

Rave put the post in her white leather backpack. “We’ll be careful. Don’t worry.”

The clerk gave her an uncertain look but didn’t say anything. 

Marian guessed that the people she was hooking up with for the day really were at the lowest level. To be fair, it wasn’t like Marian was all that much better. She’d barely quested and, now that it came to it, she didn’t even have supplies. 

The trio stopped in a cheap supply store where Marian purchased a simple leather backpack, a water canteen, and a couple of days worth of food. She expected to be back within the day but burning a lot of mana used up a lot of energy, which was why most mages were so slim. And she wasn’t planning on losing her feminine curves if she could feed her body rations instead. Then she saw a bookcase of potions. 

“Oh! I should grab some of those.” She wandered over to the shelves and marvelled at the red, blue, green, and other liquids in glass bottles and vials. “Do you guys have enough already?” she asked her new companions.

Ravellis looked embarrassed. “We don’t have nearly enough money for that.”

“You don’t? How much—?” Marian cut herself off as she gasped at the prices listed. “Twenty gold? Who could afford that?”

“The low-grade ones are only fifty silver. Which, unfortunately, is still out of our price range.” She straightened the glasses on her nose. “But we do have an alchemist who can make low-grade healing potions very easily. If we can collect the ingredients needed, she can even make mid-grade ones. I think we have one or two left?” She turned a questioning look on Jax. 

The young man shrugged. “Probably.”

Well, Marian had gone out killing slimes without issue or preparation. But she wasn’t about to get herself killed by a surprise rush of zombies or something. She grabbed four low, two mid and one high-grade potion, as well as one low-grade mana potion, and went to the counter to pay. 

Ravellis was agog. Her eyes looked even bigger behind the huge lenses. “How can you afford that?” she gasped, trailing Marian. 

Marian tried to suppress the smug feeling in her breast, but couldn’t do so entirely. “You heard about the ice cream thing in town?”

“Oh, we did! After this quest, it’s the first thing I’m going to buy. Treats for everyone.” She giggled. 

“Well, my, uh, ex associate and I were the ones behind it.”

“You were?” Her agog look doubled. 

“Yeah. Although, there won’t be much left of my share after I buy these potions.” She put them on the counter and eyed the sales clerk shrewdly. “Hey. None of these are going to go bad if I don’t use them right away, right?”

“They’re good forever,” the young woman assured her. She was plain and dressed simply in white shirt and black pants. “As long as they’re sealed and you don’t cast any outside magic on them or something.”

The total came to an amount that was almost more stomach-punching than the mana earrings had been because these were consumables, not equipment that would last for years. She paid and promised herself that she’d help the alchemist in the party level up as fast as possible so that she could get access to cheaper stock. Or make enough money so that she wouldn’t care what things cost. 

Negate that last part. There was no sense in ever wasting money. Better to be scrupulous about how much is spent or you’ll lose it faster than you think. No matter how much money anyone makes, expenses can always rise faster than income, if you let them. And dragon sorceresses-in-training did not amass hordes of wealth by overspending. 

Come to think of it, maybe that was why dragons apparently lived in caves. Cheap to build and there was no rent and no taxes. If you were going to hole up for a thousand years somewhere and take hundred-year naps, then you should probably own your home outright without any financial dues owing. She made a mental note to keep an eye out for suitable caves while adventuring. Just in case. She could always spruce it up with a rug and tapestries or something.

It was a short walk to the edge of Belleville and a different gate from the one that she’d been through before. 

Jax was mostly silent and when he did speak, it was always in the same vein. “If I keep walking all the time, will I get a walking skill? And will I level it up? What about jumping? Maybe I should jump and walk at the same time. I could get a jumping skill and a walking skill. Or one that does both like jumping-movement.”

“Go ahead,” Marian told him in a dry tone. “Try flapping your arms too. Maybe you’ll get flying-leaping-walk for really long distances.”

His face lit up. “You really think so?”

She and Rave just sighed. 

Ravellis was chatty and friendly, and easy to open up to, ready to laugh at all times. Though her nervous disposition reasserted itself as they grew closer to the gate. Once they got outside, it grew even worse.

“Where are your friends?” Marian asked, not seeing anyone waiting outside the gate. There was just the road to the city with a few travellers and a merchant wagon. The immediate area was grassy and open, probably kept that way to prevent bandits and monsters from approaching the city unseen. 

“Oh, well, they’ll be in the forest over there. You know, in the shade probably.” She coughed into her fist and strode quickly off in that direction. 

Marian hurried to catch up. “Um, Rave? Is there something I should know about these other two? What aren’t you telling me?”

The sword-witch looked resigned and her hands fretted. She took a big breath and then looked at Marian as they walked through the grass towards the trees. “It’s just, um, well, you see… You know how this kingdom is, don’t you? About humans and non-humans, I mean?”

Marian shook her head. “Not really. I’m really new here. Though they don’t seem to like elves much.”

“Very true.” Rave cleared her throat. “Well, they’re very human-centric in these parts. Especially the crown and the people in the city, but the attitude is prevalent everywhere in the region. It’s why you see very few non-humans about. Few are outright targeted like the poor elves are but most are subject to a lot of prejudice and hostility by the locals.”

Marian was starting to get a strong hint of why they were meeting the others out here and not in town.

Ravellis threw an anxious glance at the trees. “It just so happens that the other two members of the party, who are the most wonderful people, are not all that welcome in town or in the city. We’ve tried to partner up with a number of different adventurers. But while some have fairly open attitudes, which is partly why we’ve taken up this line of work, well, others are quite closed-minded. Especially in regards to certain species.” Her anxious eyes turned on Marian. “Do you, um, that is, how do you feel about non-humans, Marian?”

She shrugged. “I’m fine. People are people. Besides,” she pulled down the neck of her shirt, “see the scales? I’m part dragon.”

Rave’s eyes widened in delighted surprise and leaned closer to see. “Oh! That’s so beautiful! What a lovely colour!” She straightened with a wide smile. “So, oh. This is good. Then, perhaps, you’ll keep an open mind when you meet the others? Again,” she rushed to add, “they’re wonderful people. Just give them a chance is all I hope.”

“Of course.”

Ravellis continued to blather, her nervousness running away with her. “You know, if you’re not comfortable, please don’t hesitate to say so. If you want to part ways here, we’ll all totally understand.”

“Ravellis, you’re freaking out for nothing.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps. Just, if you do go, please do keep their identities secret.” She gave Marian an awkward smile. “Their lives depend on it.”

“Ok. But really, you’re worried for nothing,” she assured the other woman. 

Rave anxiously nodded and they went on. 

Marian was amazed. Ravellis and the others must have been taking a huge risk trying to find new members in the Adventurers Guild here. Putting their faith in the wrong person might have gotten two of their group killed. No wonder the woman was so nervous all the time. 

A few meters into the trees, they came across a small pair of small people sitting on the ground in the space between leafy trees, one reading a thick, hardcover book, the other with several pouches of herbs and ingredients open on the dirt next to a stone pestle and bowl. Both individuals were cloaked and hooded. Marian thought one of them might be a child though she couldn’t see faces or anything yet. Packed bedrolls and gear were piled up next to them. Enough for four people. A fire pit looked freshly used She guessed that all four were camping out here.

“Glaxis, dear. Logrin,” Rave announced. “We’re back. And we’ve brought Marian! This is her.” She turned nervous eyes on Marian. “Remember, please keep an open mind,” she begged.

The child was the first to stand and throw back the hood. Except that it wasn’t a child at all. It was an old, short little male, with a bald pate and a long, fluffy white beard streaked with vertical ribbons of violet. He wore a dirty, cheap robe made of light purple satin. A white rope looped his svelte waist in place of a belt. He studied her with very intelligent, amethyst irises. “Good morning to you, fair lady.” He spoke with an aged and cultured voice seemingly too deep for someone so small. He barely came up to Marian’s breasts!

She couldn’t help but grin. “A dwarf!”

A sad chuckle. “Why is that the first assumption so many humans make? No, my lady. I am a gnome. Logrin Pumkinmarble, sage.” He bowed.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I love your robe, by the way. The purple goes really well with the white of your beard. Super cute!”

He turned a faux-smug look on Ravellis. “See? It’s not gaudy. Some people appreciate it.”

Rave gave him a flat look. “I just said it doesn’t seem very…suitable for a sage. I mean, you’re supposed to look sombre and wise.” She gestured to his attire. “Doesn’t that usually mean more muted colours? Brown or tan or black? Or even white?”

“Bah. Boring.” He waved a child-like hand in dismissal, then smiled at Marian. “It is a sincere pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Marian. Thank you for agreeing to adventure with us today.”

“My pleasure.” She frowned. “I really don’t see why they wouldn’t want gnomes in town. Jerks must be super small-minded around here. Are you all camping out here because of that?”

The gnome looked at the other figure, who had yet to stand or reveal themselves. “Partly.”

Ravellis crouched next to the other figure, who was slightly larger than Logrin. She gently placed a hand on the figure’s back. “Glaxis, come on. Stand up and say hello. We’re going to be adventuring together today. You want to make a good impression.” Her voice and manner were quite motherly. 

The figure tried to shrug the hand off and a gravely voice grumbled something unintelligible. 

“She’s different, I promise,” Ravellis insisted. “In fact, she’s part dragon! Isn’t that neat? She’s mixed too!”

The hood turned Marian’s way and two eyes stared up from out of the shadows. Two very red eyes. 

Marian’s throat tightened. Uh…

The figure reluctantly stood. With a challenging attitude, she threw the hood and cloak back and tilted her chin up, daring Marian to find fault with her, even expecting it. Those red eyes were expressive. 

Marian blinked, trying to control her surprise. “A goblin?”

The figure was a hand shorter than Marian. Her skin was the shade of evergreen needles from a pine tree. Her hair was blond and in a thick ponytail that hung to her lower back. Her bodily attributes didn’t quite have Marian’s size, but the curves were still wickedly feminine and quite visible. She wore only a brown leather skirt that was almost a loincloth, and a leather bra decorated with different coloured feathers. 

“Three quarters goblin,” Ravellis explained with a nervous nod. “One quarter human.” She was looking a Marian with as much worry as she ever had. Then she pulled herself up and possessively put her arm around the girl and spoke proudly. “My daughter, Glaxis.”

“Daughter?” That puzzled Marian. “Then… Wait, how is that…? Wouldn’t she be half?”

Logrin leaned over and whispered loudly. “Adopted,” he explained in his kind voice.

Ravellis’s expression was defiant. “I raised her from a babe only days old. I nursed her. I taught her right from wrong and reading and math. I wiped her bum and changed her diapers. She’s my daughter!” It appeared this was a touchy subject or at least something she intended to make plain to anyone who met Glaxis, as wary as a mother defending her cub. 

The challenge in Glaxis’s eyes faded a bit with love when she glanced at her mother. In solidarity, she put an arm around the older woman. “And she’s my mom. You got a problem with that?” Her voice was naturally growly.

“Do you have a problem,” Ravellis corrected.

Glaxis rolled her eyes. “I know! You don’t have to speak perfectly all the time. Lots of people use slang.”

“And lots of people sound perfectly stupid.” Her eyes shone with pride. “My daughter is a genius. She’s going to be the world’s greatest alchemist one day.”

“Maybe. If I had books to study.” Her tone became bitter. “Or if someone would teach me.”

Marian watched the pair in a slight bit of shock. “Ok. So you’re part goblin. Er, mostly goblin and only part human. That’s so cool.” She stepped forward and extended a hand. “You’re very pretty, by the way. Nice to meet you.” She gave Glaxis a friendly smile.

Now it was the girl’s turn to blink, perhaps taken aback by Marian’s casual acceptance. “You’re ok with hanging out with a goblin?”

“Sure. Well, full disclosure, I did recently take a quest to kill goblins not too far from here. And we did kill a lot of them. But they were also thieving, raping, murderous sorts so I don’t regret ending them and rescuing the woman they’d kidnapped. You seem much nicer, not murderous or anything. And I like your mother, who speaks very highly of you. So I don’t have a problem if you don’t. I mean, we should judge people by who they are and what they do, not by what they look like or whatever, right?”

Glaxis hesitated with uncertainty, glanced at her mom, but then reached out and shook Marian’s hand. Her nails were longer and thicker than human ones and painted yellow to match her hair. “Ok. Mom seems to think you’re all right. So I guess I won’t poison you or blow you up or anything.”

Rave turned a delighted expression on her daughter. “You figured out the exploding potion?”

Glaxis shrugged one shoulder with self-deprecation. “Kind of. There’s not enough force, but it’s a start. I think I know how to experiment going forward.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you.” She hugged her daughter. 

“Just out of curiosity,” Marian asked, “how old are you? We’re supposed to be going on kind of a dangerous adventure today. Maybe not the best idea to bring someone underage?” Not that Marian was one to talk, being barely in her twenties. 

“I’m nineteen. And I can hold my own. I’m just as good as Mom is.”

“Better at night,” Rave admitted. “I certainly can’t see in the dark without spells and even then, not as well as she can.”

“Plus I’ve got these.” She held up her claws and bared a row of very sharp teeth. “And goblins are way fitter than humans. Probably why we’re so good at running away. So if anything comes after us, they’ll be eating you all while I escape.”

Rave mock gasped. “You’d sacrifice your own mother?”

Glaxis crossed her arms and looked smug. “Don’t worry. They’ll get Logrin first. Short legs. And he’s super old.”

The gnome didn’t rise to the bait. “Which is why I’ll stand well back of any fight, young lady.”

“So how does this work?” Marian assessed the group. “A sage, an alchemist, a sword-witch, and some kind of fighter. Ok, he’s straightforward I assume?” She thumbed at Jax.

Jax nodded. “Yup. I’m straight.”

“That’s not—“ Marian shook her head. “How about the rest of you? What can you do?”

The sage stroked his beard. “My primary area of expertise is knowledge and wisdom. I actually specialize as a Researcher. I’m afraid I don’t have much for field skills or use in battle. However, I do have an aura that allows those near me to learn things faster. I have an impeccable memory. And I can function as something of a strategist. Although, to be fair, most of my knowledge on the subject of battle tactics is academic. Hence why I’ve taken to the field, even at my age. I hope to add practical experience to my perspective so that I might better understand the nuances of an adventurer’s life or what soldiers might experience.”

“Plus,” Jax added helpfully, “his last book bombed so bad the university told him he either had to leave the library and get out in the real world for once or they’d fire him and never publish another book of his again. And he’s poor and needs the money. Cuz the book bombed. Apparently, they threatened to charge him for all the wasted copies they’d printed.” Jax rudely laughed.

Logrin flushed a bit. “I admit that I may have spent too much of the past hundred years focused on academic sources alone. And that one does…get wrapped up in the bubble mindsets of academia. But I am here, aren’t I? The next book will be much more authentic, I promise you that.”

Jax scoffed. “A hundred and one ways to pick mushrooms and how to expertly shovel shit out of horse stalls?”

“Now, now,” Ravellis interjected. “We’re not going to be low-level adventurers forever. We will get better quests. Like today, with Marian. A real quest. Which we really should get moving on, shouldn’t we? It’s a long walk.”

They agreed. The gnome and goblin (it was just easier to refer to her as that rather than as mixed goblin or something all the time, and, honestly, it was silly fretting over labels), gathered their gear and the group set off in the direction of the necromancer’s operations. 

Glaxis explained her own class as they marched. “I’m an alchemist. I’m still learning the basics because we haven’t been able to afford books on the subject or find anyone willing to tutor me. Being mostly goblin and all. Most people think I’m a monster.”

Marian laid a friendly hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Let me impart a pearl of wisdom that I have experienced often in life: many people suck.”

Glaxis snorted and laughed. “Yeah. They’re just as bad as goblins. Though, contrary to human thought, not all goblins are bad.”

“Humans,” Marian philosophized, “probably tend to categorize anyone other than themselves as monsters.”

“That’s just dumb,” Jax huffed with a frown. “Monster girls are hot.”

“Jax.” Rave patted him on the shoulder. “You remember that we were talking about this. You have to pick and choose what to say and when to say it and to whom. That’s something you might say when you’re alone with a group of people who you know are like-minded males, or females, for that matter.”

He made a long-suffering sigh. “Should have put more points into Charisma, I guess, huh?”

“Also,” rave continued, “while I fully support your broad, multi-species tastes in women, I will remind you once again that Glaxis is my daughter and off limits. I wish she wouldn’t dress quite so revealingly in certain company…” She shot a glare at the girl.

Glaxis rolled her eyes. “It’s armour! It could protect me.”

“Well, only your breasts,” Logrin pointed out.

“The way Jax drools over them,” Glaxis happily pointed out, “pretty sure some people think it’s the most important part worth protecting.”

“As I was saying…” Rave spoke firmly. “Jax, stop drooling over my daughter’s breasts. Or I will stab you. Or put a hex on you. How would you like it if every time you got excited you needed to pee?”

Jax rubbed his chin in thought. “Hmm. Some girls are into that, right?”

Rave sighed. 

Marian laughed. 

Glaxis just smiled. “Mom, I can take care of myself. If he tried anything without an invitation, I’d just toss an acid jar at him. Melt his thing off.”

Jax shuddered. “Don’t worry. She’s not my type anyway.”

Marian turned the conversation back on topic. “So you can make acid, basic healing potions, you’re working on exploding potions. Anything else?”

“I’m trying to figure out the ingredients to stamina and mana potions but no luck. Too bad Logrin’s book isn’t more helpful.”

She gave the gnome a questioning look.

“Ah,” Logrin explained. “One of my skills. The book I had earlier is a Sage’s Tome, a type of magical artifact. Unfortunately, it is not one of the better ones. The ones I’m used to using all belong to the university that I am associated with. In any event, once per week, I can use the Tome to call a book into existence, with limitations. Because of the low power of this Tome, the book must be something popularly published and recent and non-technical. And I can’t create anything magical.”

“But he can do romance novels very easily,” Rave excitedly interjected. “If only you could produce more than one a week. It’s always a struggle having to wait five or six days for the next one.”

“If you didn’t devour them like a hungry beast the moment you got your hands on them…”

Glaxis stage whispered to Marian. “Mom doesn’t have much of a real love life.”

“That’s because I’ve been too busy raising you!”

The goblin girl’s tone became exasperated. “And I’ve told you for years, I’m not a child anymore. It’s ok to meet someone. You’re not going to be young forever. And yes, thirty-four is still young. Especially when witches age way slower than regular humans.”

Ah. Marian realized that was why Ravellis looked like she was in her mid twenties.

Rave blushed and sputtered.

“Stop giving up on yourself and on real love,” Glaxis mercilessly continued. “I’m three-quarters goblin in a world full of speciesist morons who can’t hold an intellectual candle to me and get offended by it. You don’t have an excuse.”

Rave decided she was going to entirely ignore this train of conversation and promptly changed its direction entirely. “So, abilities. Yes. Sage, alchemist, fighter. I’m a sword-witch. Basically, I am mostly a witch, but I’ve been trying to learn the sword as well, as witch spells can be very slow to cast and aren’t always suitable for action situations. And with Glaxis not having any direct fighting skills, we needed someone to battle any monsters that showed up. As a witch, I also don’t have a lot of direct attack magic. I’m much better with hexes and curses and contracts. Speaking to the dead. Poisons. Magical brews.”

“That’s where I got alchemy from,” Glaxis confided. “Mom taught me her brews and it got me interested in potions and custom poisons and other stuff.”

“How good are you with the sword?” Marian asked Rave. 

“Um, well, I think I can hold my own against a zombie. They don’t move very fast, do they?”

“Shambling corpses,” Logrin said. “As long as they aren’t animated by special magics, they should be fairly easy to deal with.”

“Because you’ve got so much experience with fighting undead,” Jax mocked. 

“Just because most of my knowledge is academic doesn’t mean it’s all useless,” Logrin snapped. “I have read more than my share of adventurer journals and biographies as well as necromancer treatises and other references to the subject. Enough to see a pattern that is likely dependable.”

Jax looked unimpressed and seemed to have some mild grudge with the gnome. “Ok. I’ll hit it with my sword and you hit it with your book. We’ll see which does more damage.”

Logrin sighed heavily. “I have spent most of my life with books and with similar folk as myself. I had no idea until I got out in the world, and started mingling with a wider variety of people, that so many people seem to carry an intrinsic dislike for others just because they appear to be more educated.”

“Educated folk tend to act all high and mighty,” Jax noted. “Real arrogant. Think they’re better than us commoners. Sage would be the worst of the bunch, right?”

“But I do not act that way, nor do I think it,” Logrin protested. “I readily admit I have a great many gaps in my own learning and wisdom. Is that not why I’m here?”

Jax just shrugged. He didn’t seem to be the deeply caring type. 

“Please don’t take it to heart,” Rave consoled the gnome. “Not everyone is so touchy. We just need to get you to specialize in a field that more people find useful, something they can appreciate you for.”

“What’s your field of interest?” Marian asked. “What have you been studying for a hundred years?” The time span was mind boggling. She enjoyed reading, but if she spent that long in a library without good food, good tea, good sex, and using her new-found magic, she’d go nuts. 

“Previous-cycle history,” Logrin answered. 

“Huh?” was the best she could come up with.

He seemed to have explained this many times before and launched into an easy explanation. “History is generally seen as stuff that happened in the past few hundred years. Ancient history might be the past few thousand. But this world is very old and it has gone through multiple cycles where civilizations and populations have risen, only to fade and fall into nothingness. As best as anyone can calculate it, we’re currently in the early rise of the third cycle. We won’t know more without extensive archeological exploration.”

“How long is a cycle? And why does it end?”

“Difficult to say as to the length. Very likely in thousands of years, perhaps tens of thousands? I doubt an age is too much longer because, invariably, along come planet-killing meteor strikes, or plagues, or civilizations rise to such great heights of technological and magical prowess that we destroy each other and ourselves. And once it is all in ruins, we limp along, various species rising and others falling, and slowly it all builds up again.”

“How do you know this kind of stuff? I mean, if a civilization existed ten or twenty thousand years ago? We have books that old?”

“Oh, very few as you would think of them, made of paper or the like, except for those that have been magically preserved. Some knowledge is passed on by longer-lived species like elves and dragons, angels and djinni. And we discover the occasional ruin or dungeon.”

“Aren’t dungeons and ruins the same thing?”

“There is a proper classification difference, actually,” he pointed out. “Most old places are just ruins, even if we call them dungeons for convenience sake. However, actual dungeons are purpose-built constructs, things often created by fabulously wealthy and powerful beings and civilizations as a way to house and protect magic and treasures, libraries and tombs. Mostly, this is really no different than an incredibly elaborate vault, one full of traps and killing machines. However, there are subclassifications of dungeons, such as the Aspirational and Revenge dungeons.”

“What are those?”

He looked quite happy to elaborate on his chosen subject specialty, his cheeks rosy and he spoke. “Aspirational seem to have a twisted noble purpose. The idea is to put some fabulous artifact or great knowledge in a place and then make it terribly hard to reach so that only those most worthy can do so. It seems to be a way of older generations or entire civilizations trying to protect something from being passed on and wasted, perhaps, or abused. The treasure is an incentive for future generations to raise themselves up. Unfortunately, I think it usually just ends up robbing generations of people of something that might help them. People try for the treasure, find out it’s too hard to get, and the best of them die in the attempt, and so they forget about it and it gets buried with time.”

“What about revenge dungeons?”

He was very blunt. “Screw you messages to the future.”

Marian giggled. “What?” 

“No, really. Someone vindictive puts some miraculous thing that everyone wants in the middle of the worst, most horrible, most complex facility ever constructed. The entire point is to lure the gullible within and destroy them.”

Marian was aghast. “Why would anyone do that?”

He hummed in thought. “Evil? Heartbroken? Driven to despair by the refusal of any species to evolve into something more noble? Insanity? A desire to prevent future generations from rising up? I really couldn’t say for sure. Though I would love to discover an architect’s or a patron’s notes on the subject. That would be the real treasure, for a sage.”

“So are any of these dungeons around?”

He nodded. “Oh yes. The Adventurers Guild keeps a record, here and on other continents. As I said, we’re in the early rising phase of the current cycle and some of the world is, as yet, unexplored and unsettled. New ruins and dungeons pop up all the time. Gives adventurers a reason to exist.”

Marian gazed off into the distance. “We’re on the edge of so-called civilization here, right? Maybe there are dungeons around here somewhere.”

“Probably.” Glaxis shrugged. “Ask goblins. Or the elves.”

“There are two notable ones nearby,” Logrin told her. “There is the Dungeon of Flaxx, which is a gold-rank aspirational dungeon. And there’s the Ruins of Cal’dor. The discovery of both is what led the sea village of Lubelum to grow into the city it is today.”

“Dungeons are good for cities?” Marian couldn’t believe it. “Why?”

“Treasure, of course. But Flaxx is also a magical dungeon. It was designed on purpose. As such, many of the monsters and traps within can be killed, but then come back to life again, after a time.”

“Seriously?” she gaped at the little man. “Things respawn in the dungeon. And what, people farm it?”

“Indeed. Treasure and artifacts can only be found once, but the dungeon supplies an endless amount of animated armour, for example. These are taken and repurposed or melted down for their metal.”

“They killed a dragon in there once,” Jax added. “All that dragon scale and bone was probably really valuable.”

“I wonder if they carved it up and ate it,” Glaxis wondered. 

“Those two places,” Ravellis explained, “are why there are so few adventurers on the south side of Lubelum, where we are. And why there are only a few bronze rankers here. All the higher-level adventurers are busy up north in Flaxx and Cal’dor. Which is where we hope to get to, one day.”

“I just have to buy clothes or armour that completely hides who I am,” Glaxis grumbled. 

“No,” Marian stated. 

Glaxis gave her a questioning look. 

“You might have to hide what you are but you don’t have to hide who you are. What you are is just your physical shell, your likes and dislikes, where you live. Those don’t really matter. What matters most is who you are and that is based on your values. Basically, how good or evil you are.” She nudged the girl on the shoulder. “And you don’t have to hide how good you are.”

The girl looked very thoughtful at that.

The trek had been long but had passed pleasantly enough in good conversation. Going through the wilderness like this, they might have wandered off course or gotten lost but for a map on the quest posting. None of them were woods folk or rangers, after all. 

Not that it turned out to be an issue. They could clearly tell when they’d approached their destination at last. 

Glaxis came to a halt in the long grass they were walking through and pointed ahead towards a patch of forest and the creature just outside of it. Her voice trembled. “Is that a zombie giant spider?”

The spider’s head was the same height as Marian’s.

She grinned and raised her hands. “Flame on!” With a bold laugh, she charged, fire fanning out before her.

The others barely heard her. They were too busy running the other way.