Survivor of Merit
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Olivia Duma

Several years ago

"I got your message Commander." I grunt over the coms while hovering over the block of slum tenements in my bulwark, "You said a car had been reported missing earlier in the entertainment district?"

"That's right." the Commander confirms, "The owner reported it missing half an hour ago at the precinct. I thought that you might want to know this piece of information."

"Good call." I confirm as I begin to lower my altitude, closing in on a rundown chapel, "I've got eyes on the missing car at one of the points of interest. Going to investigate now."

"Need us to back you up?" the Commander responds after a note of hesitation. Not that I blame him. Squaring off against a pissed off Valkyrie would be more than he ever bargained for. 

"Depends on what I see." I say as my bulwark lands on the cracked pavement with a hiss of the actuators, "Stay on stand by and await further instructions."

"Roger that." the Commander sighs with obvious relief, "Good luck, Lieutenant."

Good luck, I'm sure going to need that if I want to avert a complete disaster. I'm nevertheless grateful that the Commander has been cooperative so far. If possible, I would like to handle Nock privately so no one can bear witness to the probable shit show that's about to start. Pursing my lips, I begin to survey the scene before me, taking stock. 

Its a bad neighborhood, obviously. The places where beast people congregate almost always are. The militia's time is better spent protecting the citizens that actually matter after all. The block is made up of ramshackle housing made out of whatever garbage the beast people could gather and put together. None of which is authorized construction of course. When the Citadel was first built, an empty buffer zone was created between the city itself and the walls. This was supposed to prevent the Fallen from immediately tearing into the city itself in the event the walls were ever breached. 

When the beast people began to settle in the Citadel, they built their hovels in the buffer zones since these were the only areas people wouldn't kick them out of. The militia decided that since the beast people would form a more formidable barrier to the Fallen than empty space, the beasts were welcome to squat in these buffer zones as long as they wanted.  Naturally there wouldn't be any conveniences provided for them like running water or electricity, so the entire neighborhood resembled a pre-modern dump. The streets were dark and illuminated by the ambient light from lanterns hung by the residents. I doubt the place smelled any better than it looked either. 

My bulwark's sensors pierce the gloom and I see a street gang shifting about in the shadows, eyeing me with a mixture of caution and fear. Punks like them would dearly love to teach a human like me a lesson, for some imagined slight they had suffered no doubt, but the knowledge that I could kill the lot of them without a second thought is a powerful restraint. I see also beast people peeking out from the windows of the hovels around me, tense as wound up springs. 

I put the beast folk out of mind. None of them matter at the end of the day. I need to focus on dealing with Nock for now. 

Turning my attention back to the ramshackle chapel, I note that the Cathedral would never have approved this building. The structure was roughly put together using wood and had a weather beaten look to it. A simple carving of a rainbow had been carved above the doors of the chapel and the paint is badly flaking. No money even for basic maintenance. Which meant that it was most likely built by a missionary on her own initiative and subsisted off donations. And with how wretched beast people were on most days, this dump would be lucky to receive small change. No transmission tower though, so the chapel was just used as a glorified community center or a place to hold events. 

Like a wedding for instance. 

I cautiously push at the door, finding them securely locked. Not unexpected. Neither is it a problem. I just direct my bulwark to walk straight into the door and it splinters impotently, granting me free passage. And promptly step into something soft and squishy. I look down and groan inwardly. A muscular beast man lies on the ground, chopped apart at the waist. The greeter or a the local bouncer maybe? At least its not the priestess. That would be a complete disaster. But as my eyes scan the chapel's interior, I realize belatedly that the disaster is still in the process of unfolding. 

Past the cheap benches and standing in pride of place is a large statue of Iros, towering over everything else within the building. Beneath the statue, huddled in between the benches is a hooded woman clad in rough plain robes holding a thick book in her arms. The resident priestess then. And at her feet is a beast man clad in an expensive tuxedo, looking scared out of his mind, the crown of fur on his head standing erect to almost electric attention. No points for guessing that's the man whore I'm after.

And presiding over the entire ensemble is a chunky looking woman in a satin wedding dress. Nock, looking more horizontally enlarged than ever. Guess people were right when they say that stress makes you fat. And Nock has stress coming out of the pores of her oily, sweaty face. She hauls a badly beaten woman up to the small stage and lays her on a plinth set out before the statue of Iros. A mental command to the bulwark allows me to zoom in on the woman and while I can't recognize her, I gather that under the lacerations, fat lip and giant shiner on one of her eyes, that woman is without a doubt more attractive than Nock. 

Probably prettier than me as well. Damn it. This really isn't the time to be competitive about something so petty. I can't help it though. Call it a woman's pride. 

"Iros would never approve of this." the priestess stutters beneath her robe as she clutches the book tightly for protection. The woman looks so nervous that a stiff breeze would send her toppling. 

"What do you know." Nock scoffs, wiping her face on the sleeve of her gown, "Just perform the ceremony like you're told."

"I don't -" the priestess protests, but is cut off by Nock tossing a fistful of gold coins at her face. 

"Take it, take it." Nock curses angrily, "Gold granted to only the Leader's most favored. Isn't that enough to rent out this pathetic trash heap?"

"Sara, please stop this." the man whore wails impotently, on the ground. Nock doesn't respond, not verbally. She instead grabs the man whore by the scruff and plants a hard, savage kiss on his lips. 

"Wonderful." Nock sighs as she tosses the man whore aside, "There's more where that came from Piotr, look forward to it."

This retarded theater has gone on long enough. Time for Olivia Duma to announce her presence. 

"NOCK, ENOUGH." I bark at the suspect at the top of my bulwark's external speakers, hoping to frighten her into submission. But I am once again disappointed. 

"Oh, its you." Nock snorts dismissively, "The Yellow Rose. Get lost. This is a private ceremony and you aren't invited."

"Step away from the stage and get on your knees." I command, "If I see your deployment earring start to activate, I will rush you with my sword. Don't make me do it."

"Listen to the Rose." the priestess pleads, her voice muffled by the hood, "Its not too late."

"Lieutenant," Nock asks after a short pause to gather her thoughts, "How much do you think a life is worth?"

"Every life is worth the entire world to the divines." I say automatically, quoting from the holy texts from memory. 

"That's true." Nock agrees, a vicious smile forming on her face, "but I don't think you truly understand what that means. Life has value to the divines because it is what turns the axis of this world."

"Sure." I say reassuringly. Nock is clearly unstable, I need to keep her calm so I can restrain her. 

"No, no, no, no!" Nock shouts at the top of her voice, "If you don't understand Lieutenant, stop pretending to! It just pisses me off!"

"Alright. Let's take things slowly then." I say as gently as possible, "Explain it for me. Walk me through it."

"How much do you think you are worth to the divines, Lieutenant?" Nock answers with a question. 

"Like I said, every life -" I begin to repeat the received wisdom before Nock cuts me off. 

"Ah, ah, ah! No homilies here!" she sneers, "You wanted explanations Lieutenant, and you're going to get them, whether you like them or not! You are worth nothing Lieutenant, just a cog in a machine, easily replaced."

"OK." I reply, while edging closer to Nock. Keep it calm. Keep it cool. You can handle this. 

"Now, me for instance," Nock snorts as she continues her tirade, "Do you know how many people died for us to have this conversation? Thousands, Lieutenant. Literally thousands of innocent people died so that I could live."

Survivor's guilt. PTSD. I don't know Nock's full history, but the signs are all there. The good news is that I've found the root of her mental instability. The bad news? 

She's completely nuts. 

Nock makes an irritated gesture at the priestess and the giant tome is quickly handed over to the lunatic. Nock starts to leaf through the book while the lecture continues. 

"You would think that's a really incredible thing right? To be worth so much." Nock rasps, "I thought so too. I praised the divines everyday, thinking that I was special. Then one day Iros answered my prayers and opened my eyes."

"What did Iros show you?" I ask hesitantly, not liking the direction this conversation is going. Did Nock suffer a loss of faith? But how would that be possible? Receiving a transmission from Iros would have reinforced it rather.

"I lived, so that another may survive." Nock grinds out from between her teeth, "I was a cog, just like you Lieutenant, doing my part so that the world could keep turning. So that the actually important people can play their parts."

"Well, the divines have a plan for each of us -" I begin to console, but Nock's increasingly harried voice interrupts me again. 

"And you know what my part was?" Nock shrieks, "To be buried under a pile of corpses in the middle of a battlefield, while hearing someone complain incessantly about rapefugee this, rapefugee that. I had to dig myself out after the fighting died down!"

"Uh, I don't know what to say about that." I mutter at the outlandish story being relayed. 

"Oh, and then there was the Leader." Nock makes an ugly expression, "I had to help the Leader after that. Make her whole with her love, even after my own mother abandoned me!"

"I know you're upset -" I say, trying to get away from a potentially dangerous topic. No one talks about the Leader lightly. Not even a Rose. Whatever nonsense Nock is ranting about, I did not want to know about it. 

"Digging, digging, always digging," Nock screams, her eyes bloodshot, "turning over dead Auxila, looking for their deployment rings. There wasn't enough divine power left, they said! I should have left them endlessly walking the Railroad to Nowhere!"

"The Railroad is just a place in the concrete desert." I explain, "I know you must have experienced a very stressful event and might have been seeing things -"

"I thought that I mattered," Nock deflates all of a sudden, "that the divines set me these trials because I was special. Then it turns out, it turns out ..."

"Yes?" I close more distance as Nock drifts off into her own thoughts, her eyes losing focus. 

"That I was convenient." Nock sighs in despair, "There was no other reason for it. I was there, turning away like a good cog. But you know what really hurts?"

"Let it out." I hazard, heart in my throat. 

"No one wanted me. My own mother abandoned me." Nock starts to sob, "Got herself a new daughter. A daughter that actually matters. Who isn't a cog. Even Piotr just wants my money, after I provided so much for him -"

"Sara, I love you!" Piotr the man whore declares and I mentally face palm. 

"Shut up." Nock grunts dismissively as she slams the tome shut in frustration, "Where is that bloody passage I'm looking for?"

"I can get you help." I urge Nock, "No one will blame you once the whole truth comes to light."

"I don't need your help." Nock snarls, "I'm going to help myself. Iros showed me how. I'm going to become special. And no one will leave me ever again."

"You can work things out with your boyfriend in good time," I continue, "but first we need to get everyone out of here, alright?"

"Too late, too late!" Nock smirks with insane glee, "The wheels are in motion, and the cogs need to turn!"

"Don't make me do something I'll regret." I warn, drawing my sword and readying for action. 

"Souls, the currency of this world!" Nock yells to the silent statue of Iros, "We cogs turn in life or in death, isn't that right?"

I immediately start to dash forward, throwing caution to the wind. Nock has snapped. I need to act now. 

"The signal reveals the gate, even if we can't hear it! Prayer is the key that unlocks the path!" Nock gasps in ecstasy, "And the strongest signal of all is life -"

With a single motion Nock swings the tome hard, crushing the unconscious Valkyrie's head into bloody pulp. 

" - returning to its source!"

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