CHAPTER 002

THE DREAMBLIND

 

(The Man’s POV)

---

 

“AWAKEN”

 

Echoed the voice of a woman with sheer confidence that could even awaken the dead from their eternal slumber. It was coming from somewhere deep like she was talking from underwater, or… Was it I who was underwater? 

 

“AWAKEN”

 

Her voice boomed again, deeper and louder this time with even more confidence as if it was possible. The voice was familiar, too familiar to be exact but I couldn't put a name behind it. Maybe the familiar one was not the sound but the timbre of it. Her voice echoed countless times before dying in the everlasting void. There was nothing inside the void, not even me.

 

“AWAKEN”

 

The woman’s voice sounded a third time, ever louder making my eyes shoot open. It felt like an electrical current ran through my body, making me groan. My voice was alien to me though. Rough and forked, like I have been shouting for ages. It was like coming from somewhere deep, just like the voice of the woman. 

 

“NAME YOURSELF!” 

 

The owner of the voice ordered this time before my brain could comprehend where I was and what I was doing. I wasn't able to see the owner of the voice from the position I was lying, and it was impossible to detect the source with all this echo. Alas, there was no reason to search for it. Because without even thinking about what was happening, my body obeyed the order immediately like I was waiting for this question for ages.

 

“Reason” My voice answered automatically like I was possessed.

 

‘Wait… What? Wait a moment… My name is not Reason.’ I thought, groaning again but I couldn't voice my thoughts. The woman gave no respite though, and continued her interrogation nonetheless. 

 

“What is your purpose?” she asked, but there was something more in her voice this time. ‘Was it… Pride?’ I thought without knowing any better. 

 

“...to, reason?” My voice answered in confusion despite myself again, creeping me out. That voice was definitely mine, but I was not the one answering the question. 

 

‘What now? Am I possessed?’ I thought. As if hearing my thoughts, the woman asked again. "Why do you seek possession?” 

 

Now, that definitely answered one of my thousands of questions, albeit causing thousands more. ‘Was I really possessed? By what, and how for God’s sake? Where was I? How did I end up here?’

 

“...to protect…” I- No! The thing that called itself Reason answered automatically again with a deadpan voice. I tried to move my arms, legs, neck, and even fingers with no success. With that, a deep sense of helplessness started to run through my veins. If I was frightened before, now I was genuinely terrified. The image of me, being trapped in my own body for the rest of my life made my blood run cold. If I could have screamed right then I would have, alas It was a herculean task even to blink.  

 

“There is no one hostile here but you!” The woman said mockingly and continued. “Ask your own consciousness! Ask him his name.”

 

This time that thing didn't talk with my voice but something in my mind talked, or maybe thought… to me? There was something inside my mind but it was definitely not me. Not the way I know of it. 

 

‘What is your name?’ the thing that called itself Reason thought following the woman’s suggestion with obvious curiosity. I was creeping out within my own skin from something that was in my mind, holding my body hostage. 

 

‘So what should I deduce from this?’ I thought incredulously. ‘Was I really that thing’s consciousness? Was it hostile? What does this information mean then? In the end, could I trust the owner of the voice?’ my thoughts wander. My mind was in complete disarray. ‘Could I even trust myself if I knew I was mentally ill?’

 

I knew myself better than anyone else and the answer was a big fat no. No, even without something talking in my head I couldn't trust myself completely. But with something talking in my head and controlling my voice, maybe even my body?

 

Well, that was first-class nightmare fuel, not that I  could have one. Still, I answered the question with my own thoughts.

 

‘Pinhan’ I said -thought-, following the ritual as I did it countless times before but that answer didn't satisfy the thing.

 

‘Pinhan?’ it asked again but I did not answer this time. Not that it could make a difference if I was really possessed. But still… I hold that information from the thing in my mind to get back at it with everything I had. I had no idea if it could read my mind or not, but the answer was obvious if it needed to ask. 

 

As if she could hear my unworded thoughts, the woman talked to me… No, to that thing again. "Did you get your answer?” She said mockingly. “As I said, you are the only hostile here.” Her voice turned into a whisper in the empty chamber again and she continued talking.

 

“Now dive deep. Watch, listen, and learn but never possess without permission again for that would be the last thing you would do. I will make sure of it.” She threatened the thing that called himself Reason. 

 

I had no idea if she had the power to fulfill that threat or not. Likewise, I had no idea what would have happened to me if she fulfilled it. However, there was no need to learn. 

 

Just like that I… No, my consciousness started to swim toward the surface from wherever it was. The moment it surfaced, I took a deep, sharp breath as if I really was underwater just a moment ago. My whole body felt like a great amount of weight was lifted from it and my mind started to clarify. Memories started to flood into my mind as if to answer my previous questions and I couldn't help but groan one more time, this time my voice was much clear to my ears. 

"Congratulations!”

 

Cheered the woman as if she was waiting for me to surface.

 

“For now, you are Awakened."

 

As if waiting for those words I remembered where I was and what I was doing here with literally another subconsciousness in my mind. I was in the Secret Chamber of Awakening, lying on my back on the altar of sacrifice, running through the first awakening of my mind in the hope of gaining a sapient subconsciousness that would accompany me for the rest of my life. 

 

“Name yourself!” Ustad Figen asked again. Although I still, couldn't be able to see anything in the odyssey of the chamber, I was sure who the voice belong to now. It was impossible not to recognize the voice of the woman that was the Muallim of almost half of my mandatory courses. 

 

“Pinhan '' I answered following the ritual with pride like I was the king of the world but incognito only for this occasion. The answer didn't satisfy the woman just like it didn't satisfy my infant subconsciousness.

 

“Oh my!” She mused as if she was hoping for another answer but was shocked by this one instead. “Ayan?” She asked after a brief moment to build up the pressure like she didn't know my ayan name. 

 

“Agâh” I gave my given name -ayan- this time instead of hiding it as I did previously to let my new subconsciousness not only learn my given name but also the way of the ritual itself. 

 

“A fitting name indeed.” Ustad teased but didn't stop with just that. “Pinhan?” She asked as if she was testing the literally first thing that she taught to all the authority holders during their first courses on the first day of the academy. 

 

I thought about not answering it like I always did in the last four years and letting silence be my answer but decided against it. ‘Not today.’ I thought. ‘Today I will savor this feeling.’ 

 

“With all my respect, I refuse to answer this question, Muallim.” I said teasing her in return. She feigned a gasp in the face of the open rebellion but couldn't prevent the rising edges of her mouth… or I thought so. Not that I can see anything, not even myself.

 

“My, my… Sadly child but no, you can't refuse” She said and asked another question but this time not to me. “Usta  Amra! Didn’t you teach this young man that he can't refuse an official request of a naming from his domain supervisor?”

 

“I drilled it to his thick skull as I did it to every graduate of this division Muallim.” answered a much younger woman exaggeratedly with a fake urgency in her voice. 

 

“But why is he acting like he already has his own supervisor then?” asked Muallim Figen her new not-question this time. 

 

“Indeed Muallim, I have asked Muallin Nuran for her supervision prior to my awakening.” I answered the question that was pointed towards Usta Amra like it was the most natural thing to do with a smile on my face, still lying on the cold stone. 

 

“But nothing is set to stone child. Say… Would you say no to me if I try to steal you from Nuran?” Muallim Figen set her trap in the guise of a question with all the false innocence she could muster. While I was trying to find a way out to save myself from the dilemma of the double-edged question that I unleashed upon myself, another voice came to my rescue. 

 

“Oh, come on Figen. It is enough fun that you have made of the boy. Now that he fell back upon me, I should protect him from your pleasantries as any responsible supervisor would do.” said Muallim Nuran and lovered her voice to address me.  

 

“Congratulations, on your first awakening child.” her voice turned towards me and then continued. “Now that you are one of those we must discuss the path you wish to walk formally.” She started her briefing before the last part of the ritual but the conversation took an unexpected turn. “However, there is something more important we must address before that.” 

 

Immediately I started to skim my, now accessible, memories of the ritual in my mind to crosscheck everything while she continued talking.  

 

“As you must be able to remember now, your first awakening was a great success as you have separated a significant portion of your consciousness to create an individual autonomous subconsciousness with a distinct personality of its own.”

 

While I couldn't find anything unexpected at first glance, Muallim Nuran continued summarizing the results of the first part of the ritual. 

 

“In fact, you were so successful that he even named himself Reason without your consent which is just another indication of his great potential.”

 

‘That…’ I thought from the place where I lay on my back watching the darkness above ‘...was too good to be true, isn't it?’

 

“Just like everything else that is not in moderation, this great success also caused a not-so-rare side effect that must be paid attention to.” she continued mirroring my own thoughts. ‘Here comes The Big But.’ I sighed mentally.

 

“But nothing too dire thankfully as you too also can imagine from the delightful atmosphere inside The Chamber.” she added to relieve me. 

 

There it was, The Big But. ‘Never believe anything before the but’ I thought sighing inwardly.

 

“As you have already experienced it yourself, although he is still an infant, Reason is already strong enough to possess your body.” She pointed out the problem, also explaining the reason behind the nightmare fuel I have just experienced but didn’t give proper attention to due to my newfound success. “Alas, he is almost strong enough to be considered as a semi-consciousness.” 

 

‘Damn!’ I thought, realizing the problem immediately. I was a member of the lucky minority, or the unlucky minority if you take it from another perspective.

 

“This alone is not something that should be alarmed of by itself. On the opposite, it is a great advantage that should be properly exploited if he, Reason, is trained properly. However, if not trained properly, Reason not only has the potential to take control of your body, pushing you towards deep in your own consciousness but also replace and even destroy it.” She continued explaining the textbook disadvantages of having a semi-consciousness.

 

Alas, by that time I was already dreaming about the advantages of the situation and trying to imagine ways to exploit them. 

 

“Now no need to panic. We just have to present you to Reason as an intrinsic ally of his and being the embodiment of your logical consciousness, he would be your greatest asset in your future endeavors, as long as you draw borders properly and treat him with respect. However, I must add, choosing the logical part of your consciousness to divide and awaken first instead of any other part was a great insight on your side, especially in this case.” She tried to alleviate my not-so-present concerns.

 

While she continued her explanation, I was still thinking of ways to best utilize this new tenant in my mind. Obvious of the name he choose for himself, Reason, was a product of my rational consciousness. Anything from decision-making to action planning, from problem-solving to thinking, reasoning, and learning could be associated with the rational part of my consciousness and could be exploited with an independent semi-consciousness. 

 

“...with our guidance and counseling, there should be no immediate danger..” Muallim Nuran was continuing her speech. As much as I understood the risks of such an entity in my mind, the potential gains were weighing down losses too much to worry about. 

 

“Fret not,...” She said but dreams of greatness and excellence were already clouding my mind at that point. I was already imagining multi-casting and simultaneous-casting let alone image and trigger sharing.

 

‘I am going to be a one-man squad aren't I?’ I thought involuntarily. ‘What if my future sub-consciousnesses too would be semi-consciousnesses?’ 

 

“.... you must wait at least five years to undergo your second awakening if you desire so….” Muallim Nuran said as if answering my thoughts as if she can read them just like Muallim Figen did previously. Although not probable, it was obviously possible. 

 

‘It was too good to be true anyway. But what if…’ I couldn't stop thinking. It was not the time and place but my mind was already wandering. 

 

“... are going to introduce you to a system to help you better control Reason in case he felt threatened and possessed your body again…” She successfully drew my attention one more time. 

 

‘System?’ I thought while trying to remember what was that. It was probably something that was not part of the official curriculum due to being only important for a minority. 

 

“It would not only help you never lose control of Reason completely even when he possesses your body but also help you to task and purpose him. But that can be discussed another time. Let’s finish the ritual now.” she ended her monologue. 

 

Just like the beginning of the first part of the ritual, I was expected to actively participate at the beginning of the second part thus, they let me collect myself from the stone altar and left the chamber. 

 

While the light was slowly returning to the chamber, I was able to see the interior again one more time but this time with a different mindset. I could easily feel something was silently listening and watching everything with utmost curiosity. He had no access to my memories before due to safety reasons but now that I have access to them again, he had access to all my memories too. It would take only a few days for him to watch the flash of my whole life but it would take years to use that newfound knowledge efficiently. 

 

Muallim Nuran had already said five years of suggested probation time before attempting my second awakening. By that time my academy life should have already finished and I would be ready to initiate my own chapter. 

 

After a few more minutes, I was in full possession of my faculties again and rose from the stone altar. I stood up for a few moments to observe the interior of The Chamber one more time.

 

There was not enough time before the ritual so I couldn't pay attention to the details inside the chamber. Now that there was plenty of time before the second part, I took the liberty to investigate as much as possible. There it was, the will-reinforced heavy oak doors I used to enter the chamber,  adorned with archaic runes that hint at its real age. The runes themselves were hand-inscribed before will reinforcement contrary to the modern techniques. The easy-to-see chisel marks even with an untrained eye such as mine were the proof of the carver being another soldier instead of an artesian. 

 

‘Function over form.’ I thought absently while my fingertips moved on the rough runes. ‘As expected from one of the oldest chambers in one of the oldest academies in the whole Republic.’  

‘Woodcarver Kamil, 102 Before Republic’ answered the thing in my mind to my unasked question. I froze for a moment, lost in thinking about what to do. Now I was alone in the chamber with no supervision and it- No, Reason, choose this moment to initiate communication. 

 

“You can't know that.” I said while trying to stall time. “You are an infant sub-consciousness and even if you have access, my memories have no such knowledge.’ 

 

He didn't answer any of the charges but instead asked a question himself. ‘How much longer are you going to spend in this place?’ 

 

Although it was like a random question, actually, it was not. The Chamber was supported with not only best the mental and spiritual defenses to prevent anything from affecting the ritual but also with the best natural and supernatural defenses to prevent assaults both from outside and inside. There was no way anyone or anything that enter or exit this place until the end of the ritual. 

 

‘Where did everyone go then, if the ritual has not ended yet?’ he asked another question taking me completely off guard. 

 

‘Indeed… Where did everyone go?’ I repeated the question myself. In the end, the chamber was just one of the many hexagonal empty cells with a runic formation that covers the whole underground space of the academy. It had only one gate, a natural heavy oak thing which was definitely carved by some student or initiate during his academy years. There was no way that dozens of people could leave through this gate without me realizing it. 

 

‘It was one of his early works and yes, he carved it during his initiate years. Long before he was started to be called The First Wood Sculptor.’ Reason filed me with random trivia about the history of the heavy oak door of The Chamber and its carver. 

 

‘As I already said before, there is no way an infant subconsciousness knew that. Even if you had access to my memories there is no way that you know something that I don't. So stop being arrogant.’ I berated him, while still thinking about everyone that should have been inside the chamber. The door was still closed meaning the ritual was still ongoing.

 

‘Is that another test to see if I can control Reason?’ I couldn't help but think. Was I really sure that I had full control over my senses? Was it possible for Reason to hijack my senses without possessing me and making me see hallucinations?

 

All of the answers to these questions were sadly…

 

‘Yes.’

 

‘So what, if I open the door with a subconsciousness that I have no control over? Would they fail me?’ I continued downward in my thought process.

 

While I was contemplating, Reason talked one more time which made me stop my paranoid thoughts.

 

‘Although I really like this rare predicament and want to observe more, we don't have time for this kind of entertainment. Now if you let me help you…’ he said cryptically and then his voice came from my own vocal cords with a deep boom echoing inside the chamber.

 

“WAKE UP”

 

Wake up, it said and I woke up. Not literally, but figuratively. The heavy oak door swung open outwards and showed me the outside of the chamber which was … a sea of light with nothing else.

 

Like a dam breaking open, memories started to pour down into my mind a second time in a short while. However, this time they were years worth of memories instead of just a few months. 

 

“Damn Reason! Am I dreaming? Am I actually dreaming?” I shouted but there was no answer. Then I started to see icons and letters in the periphery of my sight which made my mind go blank.

 

If the feeling of being possessed was nightmare fuel, that this was the mother of all nightmares itself. For some reason, Reason launched The - God Damn- System without my consent and was not answering me. 

 

“No, no, no! This can not be happening.” I screamed towards the ceiling. “Curses Reason you are not doing this to me, again.” I continued while trying to remember what was I doing before passing out and scanning my vitals through the information displayed in my peripheral vision.

 

My mind was already on overdrive while I was trying to analyze the situation but still, I tried my chance one more time. 

 

“Reason, stop this right now, there is no need to go this far.” I yelled, trying to reason with Reason, then chuckled mocking my own naivety. Now that it came to this there was only one thing to do and I did what I was trained to do, alas much reluctantly.

 

“SYSTEM”

 

I addressed Reason aloud with its preferred name now that it left all his personality aside and started to act like an automaton. 

 

“AFFIRMATIVE”

 

It answered confirming and I didn’t wait any more now that there was no way out of this cluster mess without commanding my way out. 

 

“STATUS REPORT”

 

I demanded and it obeyed starting to fill my vision with letters that summarize the self-evaluation of my own subconsciousness on myself. 

 

 

It was going on pages and pages and after seeing just the first page I have already snapped. “I don't want to see this nonsense Reason. Show me the summary of my current status not your delusions of greatness and self-proclaimed competence. I said furiously as soon as I threw a glance toward my, so-called, status report.

 

‘Luckiest Man Alive? Really? With no flaws? Not counting taking hostage your own host to accomplish your own agenda? Damn! I thought I would never need to go through this again.’ I thought involuntarily. 

 

“STATUS REPORT”

 

I ordered again and this time it didn't show me random ramblings of someone with a superiority complex. Instead, it showed the results for the quantification of my self-awareness of my current status.

 

 

“Damn Reason! Why am I SEDATED if you are already awake? And CAPTIVE? How did you let that happen?”

 

“STATUS LOG”

 

I ordered and it started to show the recent changes in my status as a list in my vision. Then I noticed the live drop in my sanity and morale and I got furious again. 

 

Half of my vision was still occupied with meaningless numbers and letters, and the system was still updating them despite the situation. ‘There… Here goes one point of sanity again.’ It was so frustrating that I couldn't focus on when did I fall asleep or was captured.

 

“I have told you not to quantify my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being. Now remove those numbers from my sight and show them on the silhouette as color codes in my peripheral vision.” I ordered it again. 

 

While I was starting to find where it started to go all wrong, Reason obeyed the order. Now the head of the small human silhouette on the top left of my peripheral vision was yellow.

 

‘Damn!’ I thought. ‘One more problem on my lap.’

 

“ABNORMAL STATUS LOG”

 

Then I found what was I looking for in the log. According to the log, everything started with a shock. ‘What kind of shock causes bleeding? It doesn't make any sense.’ I thought starting to read the record in my vision. 

 

There it was, the reason for my precarious situation. It took so much not to lose myself in rage and madness that I was literally reduced to a trembling and fuming mess in the end.

 

 

“Stop live updates for God’s sake.” I screamed through my lungs.

 

This body of mine was obviously not real but alas, how can an obvious figment of my own imagination could be reduced to such a state of rage was really beyond me at that point. I tried to collect myself and calm down before continuing my evaluation.

 

“What does self mean Reason? Why are you not waking me up if it was you who put me to sleep?” I managed to ask at last. Although I still hate to call him SYSTEM, he still obeyed me when I used system commands. That was a small hope in this cluster mess. 

 

“LOG TIMER”

 

I ordered and it showed something ridiculous again.

 

 

Instead of the standard unit timer, period, there was a circadian clock pacemaker timer which was basically the number of times my heart beat after a special occasion. Even then, it was not accurate and there was a positive error which was indicated with plus signs. This was the first time I have been unconscious in my whole life let alone after awakening, thus I had no idea if this was normal or not. 

 

“Change the timer to unit time and calculate the error rate as accurately as you can.” I ordered again. Then the information changed again.

 

 

‘What the..’ I thought, or couldn't more so… According to the log, I was unconscious for at least one period of time which was approximately one hour in the short term. That was literally a death sentence. Something that shouldn't happen with three active consciousnesses.

 

“What is the error calculation method? Wait! Why is there an error in the calculation in the first place? Why don't you access the central timer with inscribed patterns?” I asked immediately but there was no answer. 

 

“SPECIFY ERROR CALCULATION METHOD” 

 

I ordered and this time it named the method at the end of the screen. It was the healing rate over the energy regeneration rate which was basically the amount of energy spent to increase my basal healing rate and regeneration of it. I must have had some severe concussion so the healing boost kicked in while I was still unconscious. 

 

But that was not the main problem. The main problem was that Reason had no access to the Central Command to correct the timer. 

 

‘Damn!’ I thought. I was literally out there somewhere unconscious for more than one hour without the Central Command Interface access. ‘This only gets worse and worse.’

 

Still, it was not the time to dwell over that right now. The most important thing to do was to wake up immediately and abort this system imposition over my mind. 

“DEFINE ABNORMAL STATUS: CAPTIVE”

 

I ordered this time. There was only one man and one woman by the time I woke up in an unfamiliar land and if I suffered from a concussion that was heavy enough to not only knock me out but also Reason and Passion too, the man’s end should have been worse… far worse. 

 

How can something can knockout Reason and Passion was again beyond me at this point. It was certainly not something physical. Maybe a mental or spiritual attack? 

 

“HANDS and FEET TIED UP with ORGANIC SINEWS INDIVIDUALLY”

 

‘That's it?’ I couldn't help but think. ‘Not imprisoned or confined, not even engaged?’ I couldn't help but get furious again.

 

“Then why am I still captive, Reason? Are you kidding me? What do you want from me.” I shouted and it, the SYSTEM, answered immediately with words appearing out of nothing in front of my eyes. 

 

 

“Are you blackmailing me to release myself? What are you going to do if I fail? Are you going to possess me indefinitely?” I shouted. This was utterly ridiculous. 

 

 

“So when the stick doesn't work, you are showing the carrot? Listen well because I am only going to warn you this time, Reason. Either you are stopping this mess now or I AM going to stop it myself.” 

 

But again, there was no answer. With a mental sigh, I continued using the system interface.

“EXPLAIN HOSTILE TARGET”

 

I demanded and the text changed one more time to explain what was the situation in the periphery. Basically, there was no one but me and the woman in a shelter for all this time and I was expected to capture her to interrogate. ‘Easier said than done.’ 

 

“SYSTEM ABORT” 

 

I ordered one last time to see if I can get away from this mess easily but sadly it was not possible. 

 

“DENIED”

 

“You are going to regret denying me of this, Reason. Remember my word.” I hissed in fury but still tried to calm myself. This was not the time to get furious. It was time to compromise. Thus I choose to compromise, hoping he would compromise too.

 

“ACTIVATE: SYSTEM AUGMENTED REALITY ENGINE”

 

I ordered and surprisingly, Reason compromised. 

 

“AUGMENTED REALITY ENGINE: ACTIVATED”

 

Now there was one last compromise I could expect from Reason, one which would help me at least talk to him in a more normal fashion.

 

“ASSIGN AUGMENTED REALITY OPERATOR: REASON

 

I ordered the system to assign Reason himself as the operator so that he was the one that deal with the system shenanigans instead of me.

 

“AUGMENTED REALITY OPERATOR REASON: ACKNOWLEDGED”

 

He compromised again, making me sigh in relief at last. Thus, came the time for a compromise on my part.

 

‘As a rule of principle, we do not, by no means acknowledge blackmail…’ I almost heard Muallim Nuran’s voice in my head from one of his lessons. ‘...especially dealing with unruly…’

 

‘Yeah, good luck with that.’

 

“ACKNOWLEDGE OBJECTIVES”

 

I gave in to the blackmail and the sanction was completed. 

“OBJECTIVES ACKNOWLEDGED” 

 

I said and the mechanic voice of the system declared and I took a step towards the sea of light.