From a distance, the mountains surrounding Farander didn’t look like much to write home about. Pockmarked with dark trees and ravines, caked over with that ever-present desert dust, and capped with the barest presence of snow, they welcomed no one.

But setting foot on the paths swirling up these peaks revealed just how rich the wildlife was up close, and how beautiful the terrain. Bluish bushes with hot-red and magenta flowers bloomed, pollinated by navy-black bees, prodded by hummingbirds, housing goblins. Some flowers bloomed straight from the ground, stemless roses dyed delicate pink. Thanks to the flora, the feet of the mountains seemed scattered with gemstones when seen up close. And it wasn’t even springtime yet.

That dude Arnaul who was running the whole dungeon-diving experience liked to remind the adventurers that spending quality time hiking together before the dungeon was a great form of team-building. But with few exceptions, the adventurers never bothered. Predictably, they much preferred hiking alone or with those they already knew.

Ethel and Nyx hiked up the side of a mountain called Flan. What the name meant in the elves’ local language, they didn’t know. Their path was bordered by boulders, stubby trees, and patches of long yellow grasses that waved like the wind itself. They held each other by the hand, swinging along.

“I feel like I’m climbing stairs two at a time,” breathed Ethel.

“Me too, me too,” said Nyx—though not in their own voice. Maybe they’d change out of Athalie’s voice at the peak (if they got there).

“This would be a perfect time to—huff—say what was on my mind, if we could—haah—stop at some scenic place.”

Nyx chuckled. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“No! No. I can wait, keep going...”

Instead, Nyx swerved over to a flat-enough boulder. They could perch here for a moment and hope that ants didn’t crawl onto their clothes.

Nyx and Ethel slid onto the pinkish-grey rock. The tree hanging over them, its blue leaves dense and pellet-small, gave them decent shade. They let each other go, but their fingers stayed close to each other.

Ethel looked around, then lowered her voice and said, “Do you sense anyone?”

“Yes,” Nyx whispered. “But far away. Go.”

“Nyx, I...are you having nightmares still?”

Nyx pinched her knuckle.

“Ow! Wh-why?”

“You didn’t come here to say that,” said Nyx. “I love you too. But not in that way, Ethel. I’m sorry. I have to be honest.”

Nyx hadn’t allowed those words “I love you” to hang in the air, not even for a second. And they were looking at the earth just a few inches below their hanging feet. Not at Ethel.

Ethel pretended to analyze this purely as data, but she had to admit to herself that she felt burned, a little.

“I love the things you do,” said Nyx, “for me and other people. I love our history together. I kinda love what you represent. If that part makes sense?”

Ethel nodded hesitantly.

“But...a life with you. I mean...it’s not like we couldn’t do it...”

We’re just not compatible, Nyx was thinking.

“And it’s selfish,” said Ethel.

Nyx sighed through their nose. “I know I am. I said I’m sorry. Don’t make me feel conflicted.”

“No, I meant it’s selfish of me.” Nyx could hear the sob in her voice. “You aren’t living just for my sake.”

“Right,” Nyx said. Flubbed.

A monster jabbered further down the slope. They heard a paw scuffing against sand. Neither Nyx nor Ethel moved.

“Wh-what do I represent to you?”

Nyx wanted to give her a passive-aggressive answer: “selfishness.” She could be such a navel-gazer, collecting people’s thoughts about herself to put in her own private gallery and just keep them there.

“Don’t you already know?” said Nyx. “Just ask yourself this time. I mean, you’ve done good things. You have a whole storehouse of good deeds by now. And if you can manage to...leave me, even on Gaia, I’m sure you can find someone who can love and understand you...”

I’m just saying things, at this point, Nyx told herself.

“I don’t know if you’ve thought this through, Ethel. I mean, in terms of a whole-life plan. The idea of being with me forever. With my arrested development. I...don’t think I’ll ever become an adult. We didn’t even hit twenty on Earth, right? And I’ve been taking those years on Earth with me, everything about them...” They twiddled their fingers together. “You don’t have to...”

That was not the conclusion Nyx had meant to reach.

It was starting to seem like Ethel, and Nyx too, just wanted to keep having dangerous fun together forever. But in Nyx’s case, life was distorted and hard and a round hole for their eternally square peg. Fun was guilt.

Ethel had flirted with responsibility, when she was independent, but Nyx remembered their first go at Farander. The two of them had been absolute fools, like the two fucks at the back of the class trip, snorting and laughing at whatever they saw. There was something safe about it—at least there had been until their run-in with the lord of centipedes. The two fucks...was that some depressing primordial state? Was that the only thing they wanted: to return to that state again?

Or was Nyx just navel-gazing.

A beast howled across the mountain. Nyx sat upright and mumbled, “Shit, I wasn’t keeping track of our surroundings.” Wow, wonder why.

Neither one was in the mood to fight. Nyx coaxed Ethel down the slope, noting her tears. Couldn’t do anything but let them be.