(Kinda surprised people didn't question who Smaug's second child was.)
Tanya:"Impossible! Have you gone mad?"
Ains:"If anyone's sanity is in the doubt here, it's yours!"
Subaru:"Calm down, you two!"
Dave:"You're tearing this family apart!"
Smaug wacks Dave in the back of the head with his tail.
Tanya:"This doesn't concern you. This is between me and Ains."
Ains:"I thought you and I understood each other."
Tanya:"That's my line!"
Kazuma:"What's gotten into you? Who cares what you put on your chicken wings?!"
Flashback
Visha:"I went to the butcher on the corner with Ram." *She smiles.* "And they had great wings!"
Smaug starts to drool.
Smaug:"Wings. Hmmmm."
Visha:"Ram loved them!"
Ram:"Even Mr. Roswaal would love that flavor."
Cocytus:"Is is that good?"
Dave:"It sounds that good."
Visha points at Cocytus.
Visha:"Cocytus, if you don't eat them, you're wasting your life!"
Cocytus:"Is it that good?"
Ram:"As a warrior, you should be ashamed."
Cocytus:"Is it that good?"
Tanya:"Guess I'll have to try them."
Smaug has drool pooling out of his mouth. Dave takes a few steps away from Smaug.
Smaug:"Wings."
Tanya turns to Ains.
Tanya:"Ains, want to go to the butcher's with me after school?"
Ains:"Fascinating."
Kobayashi looks to Tohru.
Kobayashi:"Want to try them out, too."
Tohru:"I'll try anything with Miss, Kobayashi!"
Flashback Over.
Subaru:"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I asked!"
Tanya:"Very well then, Natsuki Subaru. What do you put on your wings? Salt and pepper? Or ketchup?"
Subaru:"Mayo."
Smaug picks up a bucket and pukes in it.
Smaug:"Mayo on Wings! Disgusting!"
Tanya:*To Subaru.* "Looks like you and I must fight then, too."
Subaru:"Eh?"
Ains:"I'm disappointed, Subaru."
Subaru:"Eh? How could anybody choose anything but mayo?"
Dave:"I don't like mayo.... I don't even know what Mayo is."
Erich:"I've been watching in silence this whole time, but..."
Everyone looks to the front if the class to see Erich.
Erich:"Class has started."
Everyone goes to their seats and Erich sighs.
Erich:"When large numbers of people gather in a single place, differences of opinion, to one degree or another, are inevitable. So the cause of this conflict was the question, 'What do you put on your chicken wings?'"
(Serious question. What do you guys put on your wings. I put ranch.)
Erich:"It sounds really dumb when I say it aloud." *He clears his throat.* "Let's take a survey then."
Later.
Ilulu is in the Salt group so is Tohru.
Smaug and Dave are in the ketchup group.
Kobayashi and Kanna are abstaining from voting.
Erich:"It's very split, huh?"
Tohru:"I thought you liked ranch, Smaug?"
Smaug:"I'm here for my daughter. She's more important then ranch."
Tohru looks to Dave.
Dave:"I'm had to follow my rival."
Smaug:"And I can't believe my own Wife is going against me!"
Ilulu:"I'm sorry, my dear husband. But Salt is better."
Smaug then wipes a tear.
Smaug:"I guess our fight will be legendary."
Kobayashi:"Why are they fighting over this?"
Erich:"Then....Why not use this to decide?" *He holds up a dodge ball.*
Kazuma:"A ball?"
Erich:"Justice without power is powerless! Let us decide the victor with the dodgeball?"
Ains:"I'm fine with that. What about you, Tanya? Team Ketchup is a powerful foe!"
Tanya:"I could say the same to you. You'll rue the day you crossed Team Salt."
Kazuma:"Team Mayo's at a big disadvantage here."
Subaru:"I get it. 'Cause we're on it. I get it."
Erich:"Everyone, prepare and head for the gym then."
Everyone:"Yes, sir!"
Erich:"We'll need to even out the teams."
Erich looks out the classroom and into the hallway and sees the Naofumi's party.
Later everyone is outside and are split into three groups.
Erich:"You can put your magic into this ball. If it hits someone, they're out."
Naofumi:"Wait! Why are we here?"
Erich:"To even out the sides."
Naofumi:"Even out the sides?"
Koenig:"Aww, just play along. Glad to have you, Shield Hero!"
Naofumi:"I didn't say I'd do it!"
Neumann:"Thanks, Shield Bro! Team Salt & Pepper doesn't have enough people."
Naofumi:"Team Salt & Pepper?"
Dave turns to Smaug.
Dave:"We're gonna win!"
Smaug:"I may hate you, Dave. But I like your enthusiasm this time."
Dave smiles and he glows.
Dave:"This is awesome!"
Smaug shields his eyes.
Smaug:"Too....Bright..."
Tohru:"We must beat them."
Ilulu:"We won't lose."
Erich:"We're getting started."
Visha, The Butcher and Kanna are commentators. Kobayashi is just sitting next to them.
Visha:"Okay, it's time to begin 'What do you put on your chicken wings' dodgeball! I, Viktoriya Ivanovna Serebryakov, will be your host! And the butcher and Kanna are here as commentators! What's your prediction for today's battle?"
Kanna:"Today's battle is gonna be long and bloody."
Visha:*Nervously sweats.* "Okay, then."
Butcher:"I can feel a pulse of life like none I've ever felt before."
Kobayashi:"This isn't going to end well."
Shalltear has the ball.
Shalltear:"Let's start by testing their strength!
Shalltear throws the ball at Darkness and she lets it hit her. Tohru then grabs the ball.
Tohru:"Take this dear brother!" *She puts a lot of magic into the ball.*
Tohru throws the ball at Smaug and he smirks. He brings up his hand and just flicks the ball. The ball flies back at Tohru and hits her in the head.
Kanna:*Speakers.* "Lady, Tohru is out."
Smaug:"Haha!"
Suddenly the ball hits Smaug in the crotch and his eyes widen and twitch. Smaug is as still as a board.
Smaug:"*In pain.* Why is it always the balls."
Visha:*Speakers.* "And Smaug is out."
Smaug falls backwards.
Dave:"Oh, No. Smaug's Balls!"
Ilulu:"I'm sorry Dave!"
Ilulu throws the ball at Dave and he freaks out and puts his hands up. A white glow surrounds his hands and the ball stops mid air. Dave looks at the frozen ball.
Dave:"Yes!"
Dave throws his arms up and the white glow disappears and the ball flies and hits Dave in the crotch.
Dave falls to his knees.
Dave:*In pain.*"Why must this ball hate us."
Butcher:*Speakers.*"And Dave is out, man that must hurt,"
Later that evening.
The ball pops.
Visha:*Speakers.* "The ball burst! Now how do we play?"
Butcher:*Speakers.* "So that's your choice, huh?"
Visha:*Speakers.* "What does that mean?"
The Butcher laughs.
Tanya picks up the ball.
Tanya:"We can't play now."
Ains:"Yes."
Kazuma and Subaru walk over.
Subaru:"So, um, what were we fighting over again?"
Kazuma:"I think it was something dumb."
Smaug is nearby laying on the ground with an ice pack on his crotch. Dave is next to him, also with an ice pack on his crotch.
Smaug:*In pain.* "It was really dumb."
Dave:*In pain.* "I want Elma.... Or my Mom..... Smaug!"
Smaug just wackes Dave with his tail.
Smaug:*In pain.*"Please shut up!"
Ains:"I'm sorry, Tanya. I was being childish."
Tanya:"No, I was being childish myself."
Subaru:"A little girl saying she's childish..."
Kazuma:"Ains isn't an adult or a kid, he's undead!"
Ains:"That's true."
Tanya:"Yeah, that's true."
They laugh.
Smaug:*PAIN.* "We're still in pain over here."
Visha appears next to them.
Visha:"Okay, now that we've all made up, let's go get croquettes!"
Kazuma:"Great idea! Noday argues over what you put on croquettes!"
Subaru:"Even I don't put mayo on them."
KazumaL"Really?"
Subaru:"I mean, I do, sometimes... But you know..."
Ains:"Yeah, I do. Right, Tanya?"
Tanya smiles.
Tanya:"Yes. The only thing you put on croquettes is salt and pepper."
Everyone:"Salt and pepper?"
Smaug:*PAIN!* "Please, Help!"
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01-27-2022
1187 words
