Chapter 3
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When you gain a level, you choose a class to advance, and gain its related benefits. The most systematic of these were skill points and hit dice; each class awarded a set number of skill points plus a skill point for every point of Intelligence bonus, and for hit dice, you rolled the hit die- assuming it wasn't first level- and added your Constitution modifier before adding that subtotal to the rest of your hit points.

Retraining was, essentially, re-doing the process of gaining those levels, with the option of making different choices. Because I was still rather happy with the choices I'd made, I didn't change any of them; all of my feats were dedicated to getting me into Anima Mage, and in all honesty, I rather liked that prestige class. But just because I wasn't changing my feats didn't mean I wasn't still adjusting my stats. I now had eight more skill points per level to allocate, and my HP total shot up from 19 to 56.

"So, retraining is necessary for maxing out skill points and HP, I get that, but why do you still have a dedicated retraining facility now?" I asked, once I was done. "I'm apparently your first apprentice, so unless you plan on taking on more after me, I'm not sure I see the point."

"I use it myself from time to time," Elendar said. "As soon as I hit level 12, I built the chamber, retrained all of my wizard levels to Warlock, and used the Warlock's Imbue Item class feature to create all sorts of magic items I couldn't make as a Wizard, because I couldn't cast the necessary spells. Those Tomes you used? Those were among the literal thousand sets I churned out in that first batch."

"Timeless demiplanes are some bullshit," I said. "...Why did you even make a thousand of these in the first place?"

"...I like collecting things," she said sheepishly. "These days, I mostly express that through trading cards. This has turned out to be more expensive than magic items of tremendous power."

"The hell do they make those things out of?" I asked. "Dragonscales and angel blood?"

"Who knows," Elendar said, sighing.

"Also, if you can make arbitrary magic items, why not an automatically-resetting spell trap that summons Efreeti so you don't have to restock your scroll supply so frequently?" I asked.

"...You make a compelling point," Elendar said. "One moment."

"Oh sweet merciful gods no."

"This is a Timeless demiplane," Elendar said. "It will in fact be just a moment for you."

I still groaned as she walked back into the retraining chamber. We'd been in here for probably a week at this point... well, okay, that was an oversimplification considering the Timeless nature of the place, but- look, I was impatient and I wanted to just get on with the quest already.

Elendar walked back out of the retraining chamber, a Dedicated Wright in one hand and a Bag of Holding in the other. This was going to take a while, so I reached into my pocket and produced a deck of playing cards, setting up a game of Solitaire.

I finally flipped the first card when Elendar clapped and yelled, "All done!"

"I hate Timeless demiplanes," I said simply, collecting my playing cards and putting them back in their box.

"Would you like to know a secret?" Elendar asked.

"...Sure," I said.

"I set it up like this on purpose," Elendar said. "When I created this particular demiplane, I specifically set it up so that anything that someone else does, that would take a long time, takes exactly long enough for you to get bored and do something to entertain yourself, and then finishes just in time to inconvenience you."

"You fucker," I said affectionately. "You think you're cute."

"Bitch, I'm adorable," Elendar said. "Right. Well, I think that's everythi- oh! Oh, I almost forgot to give you your sword!"

"I don't know how to use a sword," I said.

"Everyone knows how to use a sword," Elendar said dismissively.

"Every elf knows how to use a sword," I said. "But I'm human."

"...Humans don't have proficiency in swords and bows?" Elendar asked.

"No, we need classes to get that," I said.

"Huh," Elendar said. "You really do never stop learning."

"Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but there's more than just proficiency stopping me from using a sword productively in a fight," I added. "How about wands, you have any wands I'd get any use out of?"

"Wands! Yes, wands, wands I've got."


After a very long period of Elendar loading me up with magic items like the mother hen she was, including potions of high-level spells that should've been impossible to turn into potions, we finally emerged back into the central atrium of her demiplane, where some very lovely couches and recliners were waiting for us.

"So, the job you're delegating to me," I said.

"Yes, that," Elendar said, steepling her fingers. "The typical washout rate for our Prestige Class program is 25%. This year, however, it's spiked up to 50%. Students who were nearing the cusp of Level 6 have started simply dropping out and cutting ties with the university, and nobody knows why. Our task is to find out."

"Do we have a list of the students who've dropped out?" I asked.

"Yes, along with their last recorded addresses, and other paperwork," Elendar said. "The simplest and most straightforward solution is to reach out to these students and ask why they've dropped out. Which, bearing in mind that we both now have astronomical bonuses to Charisma and Wisdom, should prove fruitful."

"You're right, that does sound straightforward," I said. "Should be a piece of cake."


The first six addresses we arrived at were apartments which either stood empty or had been leased to new tenants who'd honestly never heard of the Wizard we were looking for.

The seventh address we arrived at was a small house in the outer rim of the city, where the dropout told us a sad story of misjudged capabilities and financial restrictions- in other words, she'd run out of loan money and had to drop out to get a job instead to support her family.

The next ten addresses were an even mix of Wizards with perfectly normal reasons for dropping out that mostly amounted to outside obligations but, in one case, waking up to find they'd spontaneously multi-classed to Sorcerer, and Wizards who had apparently disappeared off the face of the Earth.

"I think we have a problem," Elendar said, as we returned to her townhouse once it stopped being a socially acceptable hour to knock on a stranger's door. "There's perfectly innocuous reasons why any Wizard would drop out of the program and immediately move out of their apartment... but on this scale? It's worrying."

"Hrm..." I frowned. "...The records you were given- they should include stats for these Wizards, correct?"

"Yes, but I fail to see how that would be useful," Elendar said, nonetheless digging out her copy of the records, which had apparently been bound into a book in the Eastern style for speed. "Anyone who makes it this far is all but guaranteed to have a base Intelligence of 18."

"Intelligence isn't the only relevant stat," I said as she passed me the book. "Let's see... Ah, here's the first one we went to- gods, why didn't we visit these people in alphabetical order?"

"It's a Travelling Salesman problem," Elendar said. "I calculated an optimal route."

"Mm. Now..." I pulled out a piece of scratch paper and a lightly-enchanted pen that never ran out of ink, and began to copy out names, stat spreads, and whether or not they'd been home when we visited. "Alright. Huh, the multiclass Sorcerer doesn't have the highest Charisma on the list. You'd think that-"

"Focus, Selva," Elendar quietly urged me.

"This isn't a conventional math problem," I said. "We're trying to find patterns and connections in the data. Free-association is the correct path here. Now... Hrm. Elendar, what was your Wisdom score before you shot it into the stratosphere with magic?"

"Twelve," Elendar said. "Yours was thirteen, correct?"

"Yeah," I said. "It's not a safe dump stat, but it's not a terribly important stat for Wizards, either. But... Wisdom does improve willpower and dedication, which you'd think would be quite important in the grueling death march that this program frequently turns into."

"That does make sense," Elendar allowed. "In fact, I think I read a paper a few decades ago analyzing the statistics of undergraduates versus our doctoral candidates versus graduated doctors, and one of the conclusions drawn was that a high Wisdom score was one of the best determinants of success."

"Yeah, that all tracks," I said, nodding.

"Why?" Elendar asked, frowning. "What pattern have you found- that all of our missing Wizards have low Wisdom scores, and left in shame?"

I sighed, and reviewed the data one more time. I still wasn't sure what it meant in the slightest, but I suppose I didn't need to just yet; surely there were books in Elendar's library that could illuminate what, precisely, the fuck was going on.

"...Selva?" Elendar asked.

"That's not what I've found at all, Elendar," I said. "Indeed, it's the Wizards we've found who have average Wisdom scores."

"That doesn't quite seem connected," Elendar said. "Personal obligations and financial misfortune are frequently indifferent to one's stats. The cold, hard realities of economics do not care how wise or stout one is; one will grow hungry and need to pay for food eventually."

"That's not what's important here, Elendar," I said. "I mean, that's a good point, but that's not the pattern I've found."

"Then out with it, Selva," Elendar said. "Don't keep me on tenterhooks, here."

"The Wizards we didn't find all had Wisdom scores of 15 or higher," I said. "And I cannot begin to fathom why."

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