Strangers Comes and Goes   

Separation was natural for them. Although it was a short time that they had traveled together. Karl looked at Emil who was ready to get off in the station in Hardt with a cheeky expression . Emil was adjusting his leg, tinkering with the gears on it. He was clearly eager to get off the train and go back home.

He closed the panel on his prosthetic leg.

“Looks like this will be my stop. It’s been a pleasure knowing you two.”

“You make it sound like we aren’t going to meet again, Emil.”

“True, true,” Emil nodded his head. He slid out of the booth and then took his baggage with him. “See you two around.”

“Until next time, Emil.”

After a firm handshake Emil started out of the cabin with spring steps. Lynda moved across the table and occupied the booth on her own. She watched the windows before turning her head towards Karl.

“It’s going to be just us now.”

“Where is your stop, anyway?”

She behaved as if she was deep in her mind. Karl waited for her to answer. She tapped her fingers on the booth’s table. She spoke with a confused expression.

“I am now wondering if I should go to the stage or continue my current profession.”

“Why’s that?”

She raised her head and placed her palm flat on the table. Her eyes were swimming around and clearly she was lost. The train started to move. The whistle of the train was deafening as the locomotive engines made this tugging sound.

“I thought about what I want to do. Truthfully, the business, becoming a stage singer or actress is based on what luck you may have. Most of the actresses coming in for the spot are probably younger than me, probably. Why would they want an actress who had lost her innocence?”

“That’s negative, coming from you?”

She looked at him with questioning eyes. She folded her arms in front of him. She leaned back and then lowered her head.

“I know what I am. What my limits are. I know that it sounded like I have a career when it comes to that. I really didn’t have that much of a career. I doubt that would change.”

Karl blinked. He didn’t think that she would have these thoughts. Was she asking this because she was getting closer to her destination? Karl decided to listen to her. She behaved as if she wanted to hear what Karl had to say.

“But that is your dream, right?”

“It is,” she looked to the side of the booth. “I’ve always dreamt of being under the spotlight ever since I heard of Carrie’s song. Do you know who Carrie De Melissa is?”

“If I remember correctly, she’s the one who sang ‘Doved Wings’ right?”

“Oh I wish I had dove wings. So that I would fly and fly away,” she sang the song with a rather hearty expression. She was going to keep singing if she didn’t take notice of Karl.

“Anyway, I wanted to be like her. But you know what, Karl? Ever since I became a nurse. When I saw that suffering. I saw how some of them would look at me with such bright eyes. I wanted those eyes on me. I cherished them. I felt needed. I wasn’t just some decoration on a stage that they would look at.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

She looked at me then fixed a downward smile. “Because you have quite a knack for listening. And because it’s always good to have someone listen to you. It’s partly your fault why I am like this right now.”

“How is it my fault?”

“Because you weren’t seduced by me?”

Karl found his mouth gaping. Lynda shook her shoulders and then leaned forward. She acted as if was going to continue her speech even if Karl continued hanging his mouth.

“That’s a rather petty thing to do.”

“How is it petty? Anyway, maybe because you seem to be a guy who would listen. We shared a meal and got a date as well. You should listen to me like a man should.”

“Am I not listening?”

“You are. But your heart is not into it, Karl. A real man should lend a shoulder and his ears when a woman needs it.”

Karl raised a finger and pointed it at the booth she was sitting in. “I would have lent mine if you didn’t sit across from me.”

She raised her brows. She looked at the empty space next to Karl and hesitated. Karl however, leaned his leg on the space and gave a little smirk. Lynda’s brows made contact and she found herself crossing her arms.

“How mature.”

“What?”

“You know what you’re doing, Karl von Alden.”

Karl acted innocently, “Anyway, your dilemma is whether you should continue to pursue your dream or succumb to the feeling of being needed. But I can somewhat guess that you want to be safe just in case. Your dream profession is volatile and it requires you to be beautiful like a flower every day until you get called a madam. Would that fill the stomach of your soul?”

“Why do you want to become a physician, Karl?”

Karl stared at her sudden question. He tapped his trigger finger on the booth. He looked at the blurry scenery with a frozen expression. When he looked back to Lynda. She was looking at him as she was afraid of a beast.

“What?”

“Don’t freeze up like that. I felt like a predator was targeting me for a moment. Karl Von Alden, has anyone told you that you’re frightening when you make a face like that?”

“I get that a lot. Most of the time in the war when I face some people. It becomes like this.”

“I see. Anyway, what about my question? Why did you want to become a doctor? I think if you have stayed in the army. You would have a far brighter future. You are a second lieutenant and forgive me for knowing this. But I saw your dossier.”

“Oh, you did huh?” Karl touched the cover of the booth. “Honestly, it isn’t such a grand story that needs telling. People assume that because my father was a doctor and a good surgeon that I wanted to be like him. I joined the war because of my blood-brother, you know? I wanted to make sure that Danil survives. I succeeded, but truthfully, if this war didn’t happen. I was hoping to become a physician and study under Doctor Sucelle Vedra.”

“Oh, I heard of her. But why?”

“Well, truthfully, I admire her a lot. There was a time in my youth where I was lost. Do you know what frostbite can do? I almost lost all my fingers because I was dumb enough to think that I could endure the coldness of a mountain and a tundra. I was born strong. I could lift kilos even when I was a wee lad. I thought I was strong enough to climb a mountain, but the mountain humbled me.”

“So when does Doctor Sucelle come to this?”

“She found me when she was hiking with her dog. I vaguely remembered her rescue dog. That big dog with a barrel around its neck feeding me hot juices. If it wasn’t for that warm fluid… if she didn’t find me, cared for me until my foster father found.  I wouldn’t be alive. She scolded me for my recklessness. I was quite angry at being scolded, but looking back at it, I guess that started as somewhat of a dream of mine.”

The coldness. The fear of death came and passed. But it was rekindled by the Doctor and her dog who saved a stupid young man’s life.

“That’s it?”

“I heard that she was a traveling doctor.  I wanted to be like that. Someone who would travel mountains and hills to serve people. I understand that there are times where your wants and what you can do don't match up. I’m not a good medic. I learned that well in war. Dani was far better at being one than me, it wasn’t even a contest. But you know what? I still wanted to become a doctor despite my shortcomings. I wanted to become a physician because it made me think that it will fill the stomach of my soul.”

“That’s an odd thing to say.”

“That’s my reasoning. Lynda, you are hesitant because there is competition. I understand that. But I can’t really give you competent advice. I mean we’re talking about you, but instead we got stirred into talking about mine. This may sound like awful advice, but I think you should follow what makes you happy. It’s going to be too late once you decide to forget about this matter. Financial stability or a dream you held on for so long. Or do you just want to be looked at by others as if you are their saviors?”

“I’m not that needy. I guess it felt good being appreciated. You know how hard it is for a woman to get by anywhere. I don’t even know why I am telling you all of this.”

“It’s not that unusual to be unsure of the path that you wanted to walk. Even now, there are these voices in my head, telling me that I do not deserve to be the kind of man who would mend wounds instead of cause one. Besides,” he smiled stiffly.

The wounds that burned insides hurt much more than the wounds outside. But Karl wasn’t that open to share that with her. Lynda stayed her gaze on him. She held her chin and was in deep thought. Her gaze swiveled to the scenery outside the train.

“I like being a nurse, you know? Helping people makes me feel good about myself. That’s really what I think of it. Is it the same to you? But you know what Karl? It’s something I don't want to let go yet.”

 

“I know. You seem to be having a bad time letting it go. You want both. But you know that isn’t going to be easy. I guess you must be worried about how the economy is going to be in the allied nations. Seeing that you have thoughts like this.”

“I am.”

“Well, there is a high chance that there will be quite a turmoil. I won’t coat it with sugar. That it’s not going to be fine for everyone. The expense of war. The thousands of young men returning from war. I’m sure that you’ll have a hard time if you go that way.”

“You could tell me it’s going to be fine.”

“Do you want me to say that?”

The train made a rattling sound. Karl could see that she was making choices in her head. He said nothing as Lynda made up her mind. She breathed out and placed her palms flatly on the table.

“Made your choice? Not that you needed anything other than a second opinion.”

“I have. It’s really over isn’t it?”

Karl nodded his head. “The war’s over. You can go home and pursue your dreams. I think at least. But fear will always be our inner enemy. So do what you want.” 

He could not tell her to do what she wanted. Besides, Karl wasn’t presumptuous enough to think that he could know what was happening in her mind. Although a part of him wanted to try and convince her to wait for a while. He couldn’t do it. There was something in her face that made Karl want to cheer her for whatever path she was going for. She was someone who had asked to travel together for some reason. He couldn’t simply believe that a woman like her would be afraid of traveling alone. No, she was merely unsure of what to do and somewhat found him amusing enough to share her worries. Just a woman lost on what to do. Whether it was because of her dream profession or the profession that made her feel needed. The choice was hers to make.

“It won’t be long until we reach Muhlenhaubu.”

Karl said as he watched the scenery pass by quickly.