Lesson 73: Fighting Isn’t Just Done With Fists
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Judgement drew a card, quivering. “Look at you over there, having the time of your life… like I could lose to someone like you.” She glared at her opponent. “I’m done playing around—I’ll knock you back into the present!”

“Give me your best,” said Dr. Time, narrowing her eyes. What was Judgement talking about? Did they know each other after all? Regardless, she refused to entertain the notion of defeat. Her struggle wouldn’t be in vain.

“With pleasure! First, I activate the Unit Boost, Life Force Wind!” A gale gusted around them, exacerbating the raucous roar of the crowd and sending their costumes and hair whipping. “I pay ten life points to attach three energies from my deck to a unit!” The wind blew around Dreamer, misting the windows of the ship as it glowed pale blue.

Dr. Time gulped. Judgement had thrown away half her life points like they were nothing. But three energies from her deck seemed a fair trade-off, and her heart pumped quicker thinking of what may come next.

Besides, dropping herself to five only meant one thing.

She held a card aloft, the lights reflecting off it making it impossible to see. “When my life points are five or less—and my King is Starbound Dreamer with an equipped Bot-Ship—I can evolve her into this!” The field erupted in light as she slapped it down, the ship dissipating to reveal the jumpsuited girl standing with her arms wide. Her eyes glowed an intense blue.

“What in the…?”

“Ride, the Emperor: Ascended Dreamer! She also gains five power for each attached Cyto energy, so it rises from twenty to forty-five!” Dreamer’s glow intensified, her blazing eyes threatening death.

“Impossible,” said Dr. Time, clenching her fist.

“Oh, it’s possible—I’m gonna finish you this turn! I call another Instructor, then attack Cl**d with Ascended Dreamer!” The unit’s eyes burned, firing a light Dr. Time’s King couldn’t block.

“The effect of Seventh Heaven! When my King is attacked by a unit with greater power, I may remove a Mako energy from my field to increase his power by ten until the end of the turn.” A powerful light moved from Striker to Cl**d, but he still received the barrage.

Judgement scoffed. “So you survived with just three life points, fine. Ascended Dreamer’s skill: when her attack hits, I can detach five Cyto energies to activate it! Hyperdrive!” In a flash, Judgement’s Emperor had disappeared. “Until the end of your next turn, you can’t target her with attacks or skills!”

“What?” said Dr. Time, eyebrows shooting up. That was too broken. How was she supposed to make a comeback when she couldn’t even attack? How was she supposed to do damage?

Her gut twisted as she scowled. She needed to win, otherwise she may never get home again. A friend would remain lost forever. If the others were there, would they encourage her?

Probably not. They’d likely tell her to stop wasting the readers’ time.

“Now,” said Judgement, “since Striker’s power is back to normal, I’ll have Instructor destroy her!” The grizzled old man leaped at the woman, dragging her to the floor and pummelling her until she disappeared.

In the stands, Lizzie said, “Ain’t this a wee bit violent for a card game?”

Dr. Wen shrugged. “Does it matter? As long as everyone’s having fun…”

She crossed her legs. “We’re no’ here to have fun, though…”

Judgement said, “I end my turn, but it’s not like you can do anything.”

Dr. Time gulped, hesitating as her fingers hovered over her deck. Could she really do this? Perhaps Judgement was down to five life points, but she only had three herself, and she couldn’t attack her Emperor. Surrender seemed like the only option…

But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. For the sake of her friend lost in time, she had donned a new moniker and mask. All that meant nothing if she lost here.

She drew her card.

“It’s not nothing,” she said, smirking. “I’m terribly sorry, but you’re standing between me and something very important, so—”

“Something important?” Judgement bit her lip, nose wrinkling. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Have you forgotten what you came here for?!”

“Of course not!” That settled it—they definitely knew each other. Looking over her opponent, though, Dr. Time still couldn’t guess who it was. “That’s the entire reason I’ve come this far, and it’s the reason I’m about to crush you!” She threw a card in her discard pile, taking one from the deck on her left. “When I could ride an Emperor, I can discard a card to stride a Hero from my Gs deck instead!”

“What?” said Judgement, gasping.

Slamming the card down, she grinned. “Behold, the FF clan’s strongest warrior. Stride, the Hero!” Light erupted from the centre of her field, shrouding Cl**d and forcing the audience to avert their eyes. It receded to reveal a tall man with dark brown skin, dreadlocks, and a goatee, a fragrant white stick burning between his lips.

For copyright reasons, further description will not be provided.

“Come forth,” said Dr. Time, “Sn**p D*gg!”

Judgement bristled. “What part of that is FF? And what part is a Hero? That’s nothing more than a damn pothead!”

“Now,” said Dr. Time, grinning, “I attach the three Ganj energies from my hand to Sn**p D*gg!”

“I’m sorry, what energies? Isn’t that illegal?”

“I activate Sn**p’s skill, Hits From the Bong!”

“Don’t ignore me!”

“By detaching three Ganj energies, we both discard every card we have on the field and in our hands, besides our Kings!” Sn**p took a long drag from his joint, blowing smoke rings that wrapped around the barroom, Instructor, and the cards in their hands, dragging them to the discard pile.

“Your hand is empty…” said Judgement, growling.

“That’s right, but not for long. You see, when Sn**p’s skill discards from our hands, we each draw five new cards, and his power increases by five!” They did so, and Dr. Time pointed at her opponent. “That’s not all, though—for each card you discarded, you take one point of damage!”

Judgement grimaced as Sn**p blew smoke in her face, dropping her life points to two. This was the red zone. “So what? Even if Sn**p has twenty-five power, it means nothing if you can’t attack!”

“Perhaps this turn,” said Dr. Time, throwing two cards down. “I call the Gunner and Ninja servants!” Cl**d’s familiar friend appeared, brandishing his minigun-arm toward Judgement. Alongside him stood a woman with brown hair, a headband, and a green jumper. A pauldron adorned her left shoulder.

This should be fine. She had a Hero with twenty-five power, plus two Guardian units. She’d make it to her next turn, then end it, and use the crowd’s adulation to petition them.

“You’re probably thinking about your next turn, right?” said Judgement, chuckling darkly. “But you won’t get one. I’ll end this farce now and smack all the stupid right out your head!”

“Well, that’s insulting. Has anybody ever told you that you look like an extra from a sci-fi porno?”

“Bitch, I’m the star!” She put a card in her discard pile. “Stride, the Hero! From my Gs deck, be born: Ice Cube!”

A mist formed atop the girl with shining eyes, capturing her, and Judgement’s entire field. Tendrils snaked out to the audience, who quieted in anticipation as it faded.

Before them all stood a massive translucent block shining with cold.

“Wait,” said Dr. Time, shaking her head, “it was that sort of ice cube?”

“Ice Cube’s skill! When he strides on top of an Emperor, I attach as many energies from my discard to him as possible, and they all become Ice!” Cards flipped toward the cube, sucking the heat from the area around it. Even Sn**p shuddered.

Eyes widening, Dr. Time slackened. Five energies at once, and with barely a cost? Still, her field wouldn’t be broken easily.

“Now for his second skill: by detaching four Ice energies, all your units have their skills negated until the end of this turn!”

“What?!”

“Obviously that includes Sn**p’s power-up, too.”

The Hero’s joint went out, and he reached for his pocket, withdrawing a lighter. Every time he struck it produced no sparks. He shook it violently, as though he was engaged in the most feverish self-pleasure of his life.

“But even if I can’t guard, Ice Cube’s power is twenty; he can’t defeat Sn**p!” said Dr. Time.

“That’s where you’re wrong. After using that skill, Ice Cube gains three power until the end of the turn!” Judgement punched toward Dr. Time, red eyes blazing with anger.

Wait, red eyes?

Dr. Time studied her opponent, or at least the parts she could see. The mask and jumpsuit covered most, even to the point of having gloves attached. Or so she’d thought. Those weren’t silver gloves; it was grey skin.

“Hannah?” she said, “is that you?”

“No, I am Judgement, the one who punishes your sins! Now, Ice Cube, finish her off!”

The mist rose again, creeping over to Dr. Time and piercing her blood with frigidity. She felt her brain start to shut down. No. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. No way she could let it end like this. But…

How did she stop it?

Shrouding her, the fog seemed to penetrate every orifice, invading her and chilling her bones. She tried to cry out, but no sound came. Her throat cracked. After all the pain and sacrifice, could she only get this far? Was she still not strong enough to save her friend?

As these thoughts consumed her, Lydia slumped down in defeat.

Across from her, Hannah removed her mask, glaring with a vein popping from her forehead. “That’s enough of the tragic introspection, we get it! You wanted to win. But guess what?” She launched the mask at the floor. “It doesn’t fucking matter! We’ve spent all day trying to find clues, and you’ve been doing this, but you wanna talk about pain and sacrifice?

“You might as well just sacrifice yourself, you stupid fuck!”

***

Eye twitching, Jack stood at the edge of the beanstalk. This was the ridge where he had ascended, and where he knew he could climb down. Salia had ejected him, after all. At least she’d let him keep the clothes: just a shirt and baggy trousers that felt like burlap, but they were better than the scraps he’d had.

It was unthinkable. Unforgivable. After everything he’d been through, why did something like this have to happen? What did he do to deserve it? He stared at the sky, hands on his head.

“Oi, now listen here,” he said, breathing deeply. “I’m on an emotional journey right now, finally, and what do you do? You focus on a card game for a full chapter! Who cares what those idiots are doing?!” He started flailing, gesticulating as if dancing. “I’m meant to be the protagonist, so why am I only getting a tiny scene at the end of the chapter?

“Don’t you see something wrong with this? Huh? It’s like shuffling Dean and Sam to the side so you can focus on the bloody car!”

“Didn’t that actually happen?”

“Don’t remind me! And another thing—”

“Uh, Jack?”

What?! Rubbernecking, he finally glanced down to see he’d managed to gesticulate his way right off the beanstalk.

There was nothing beneath him.

He fell.

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