Chapter VI.4 – Talking with a Statue
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        The buzzing around him drowned out his thoughts. He heard laughter to his left, a barrage of dirty jokes to his right; he heard an intense swearing voice that belonged to a female, and after a brief moment, loud sounds of an amused crowd filled the tavern hall.

  The band and the singers started another song, and people cheered them on. Joe wasn’t paying attention - something about The Divine and Travelers, it was all he could understand.

  Honey, now that we are all alone, what are your plans for this evening? How about a calming walk underneath the stars, you and me? No danger to worry about, no beasts to grab you by the arm… A rare opportunity for us both…

  Hold! What is this sneaky attack, Memory?! Did you, like, forget about me?!

  Oh, bother… Look. We can both have fun with Joseph, no need to jam the gears for each other. I take him today and you take him tomorrow, how about that?

  I’m not having any fun right now, to tell the truth…

  Brother, what is going on?! Why is Memory being a reasonable one?!

  No idea. Joseph chuckled.

  He did lie to himself when he said that he wasn’t having fun. While arguing inner voices would guarantee him a personal room in a soft white place when (or if) he gets back to his world, a part of him wished so it could continue for as long as possible.

  Unfortunately, a minute later, he realized that he really was all alone. The thought of him getting up and trying to strike up a conversation with anyone in the tavern punished him with feelings of dread.

  He looked at a cutlass on the belt of the nearest sailor.

  Yeah, not the right setting for it.

  Ralf’s suggestion didn’t bring him a lot of inspiration either. He didn’t want to catch an accidental disease just because of his rampaging libido.

  But that smile. That damn smile…

  And she was tall and gorgeous… Black-haired too…

  Joe swallowed.

  My guy, you are really thirsty, holy hell! Maybe you should cool your head off or something…

  Yep. Yep. He definitely should. So he was going to take Memory’s suggestion.

  Joe got up from the chair.

 

*****

 

  The humid air was not helping, but the walk did. He could think with his better head now.

  The veil of red embraced the skies. A slice of Sun hanged for its dear life on the edge of the horizon.

  Go home, Sun. It’s summer, you will have your time.

  Ghastly Wail did not deserve the ‘town’ designation because it wasn’t. This small settlement was barely a kilometer in width - maybe not even that, but Joe wasn’t trying hard to measure the distance he walked.

  If his orientation skills were working correctly, then the ‘Rattlebones’ stood right near the eastern wall of the fortress, slightly to the south. The statue of Kon’jar marked the main square (of sorts). The spot itself lied a bit off-center, closer to the tavern, on the middle line between north and south.

  How did he figure it out?

  He just had nothing else to do, Joe admitted to himself.

  Stats kept their silence, but only because he wanted to cool his head off before the night. He didn’t mind them talking, but it seemed that they understood him better than he himself was able to.

  He strolled past the loud company of an arid, a mimic, and a human; stole a glance at the scene of a woman smashing a small stout guy with a bottle (some people crowded around them and cheered both up); noticed a guard aiming at something from a rooftop before lowering the rifle.

  Jackets, hoods, shirts, hats, trousers of all colors and patterns mingled together with various melee weapons and guns, creating a mess in Joe’s mind. He didn’t really care where he was going at this point, and let his legs carry him forward.

  This god damn heat…

  The statue of Kon’jar jumped into his vision.

  I made a loop around, huh.

  Joe touched the sculpture of the Deity. His gloves stood in a way and prevented him from figuring out the material.

  Not that it mattered, anyway.

  He couldn’t see a single stain or crack on the statue. In front of it, he noticed several half-full bottles.

  The smell brought the unmistakable taste of alcohol.

  He didn’t take pirates for a religious bunch, but there seemed to be a lot of respect for Kon’jar. What kind of significance that Deity had to be so revered?

  He really had to speed up his studying process.

  “War, Judgement, and Fairness… Weapons and armor for the first… A book for the second?… And scales for the third. War and Fairness I can understand… but how does Judgement fit in for pirates?”

  Xander said that It used to be the symbol of the Tribunal. But what does Tribunal have to do with piracy, aside from the obvious? Highly doubt that the workers of pillaging and looting would love the very Deity that takes their freedom away from them. Although, they might respect the guy, but not the ones that use him as their banner…

  One more mystery for the future. But for now, Joe had another idea in mind.

  “Hey… Um… Hello? Can you talk?”

  He felt incredibly dumb.

  “Excuse me, master Kon’jar, I want your audience…”

  The statue was looking at him with the same expression.

  That is, none at all.

  Joe sighed and leaned on the sculpture. The gods of this world were just as mute and useless as they were in his world, it seemed.

  Or maybe talking to the statue was just never a good idea to begin with. So it was probably on him.

  An escort walked by. No, not of that kind. It was the same merchant he briefly saw back in the ‘Rattlebones’ with his bodyguards. All dark and stoic, with weapons on every inch of their bodies, they marched past the Kon’jar statue and disappeared underneath the archway that Xander, Ralf, and Joe himself arrived from.

  The Sun gave up the fierce battle and fled, letting Night ride in and conqueror his rightful territory. The stars came out from hiding to support their fallen brother, led by the full Moon, who blessed the Earth with his blissful presence.

  That was unnecessarily descriptive. Why not just say that Sun is gone and Night is now, Joe?

  I have a better question, brother - why all celestial bodies are male in your story?

  Does it really matter?

  Feels like discrimination, my dear!

  ...Really now?

  Oh, for the love of Kon’jar! Fine, the Sun will be female, the Moon will be female, and the Earth will be male. How’s that?

  Hold on! Honey, the Earth is the one that gives birth, it should be female! You have heard about saying 'Mother Earth' before!

  Joe rolled his eyes.

  Fine! But then the Moon gets to be a man because it influences the gravity of Earth, which is important for all the life on it!

  Why was he even arguing about that?

  What would the Sun be then, Leader?

  The Sun is a Man! It leads, it conquers, it’s necessary to function! It feeds the life underneath its rays! It is most definitely the biggest Man of them all!

  What an outdated mindset, Strength…

  Joe could imagine Memory frowning.

  …But for you, it makes perfect sense.

  If I am the outdated one, how would you call people that in back in Joe’s world are still clinging to this idea? Besides, I am part of him too.

  Don’t blame it on me, you muscle-head! You started it!

  Darling has nothing to do with this! Leave him be!

  Memory and Strength sprung into a shouting match, while Joe sat down near the statue. The searing bickering at the back of his mind got drowned by the serenity of the night.

  He decided to test the ‘thing’ one more time, just to be sure.

  He knocked on the stone warrior.

  “I pray to the great one of War, Judgement, and Fairness! If you are out there, please give me a sign! Kon’jar, give me a sign! I ask for your advice!”

  A mocking silence was his only answer. Joe chuckled. If someone were to knock into his house and screamed the same words, he would call the police right away.

  Now that is a scary idea. What would divine police be like?…

  He looked at the dark sky with suspicion. It chose to remain silent on the matter.

  Joe sighed. What he was going to do now?

  “Do you seek the audience of Kon’jar?

  “Huh?!”

  He jumped up. Not a single person was close enough to talk with this deep, threatening voice.

  Therefore, the only conclusion was that someone played a prank on him. Or?…

  “I do seek the audience from the mighty Kon’jar, yes.”

  “What power do you desire?

  Just like that? No tasks to undertake, no prayers to perform, no offerings to give? That’s it, you just ask a Deity for a power-up on any random statue in the middle of nowhere and you get one?

  Sounds too unbelievable for me.

  “What’s the catch?”

  The statue (if it truly was the source of the voice) didn’t say anything.

  There was a certain quality to this voice. One that Joe could hear within, but his brain was slow on processing what it was.

  Since ‘Kon’jar’ could rival a fish in a contest of non-speaking, Joe had to keep the conversation going somehow.

  “I seek the power that will help me explore the Threshold. Or advice, or something. Anything that can help, really.”

  “Are you willing to shoulder the Quest of the Deity?

  This is getting more interesting with every second. I knew there was a catch somewhere!

  “What is this Quest about?”

  “Find an ancient weapon on the next island you visit. Should you complete the task, the weapon shall become your reward.

  “No specifics? No directions?”

  ‘Kon’jar’ stood silent underneath the stars.

  “Do you answer only in preset quotes?”

  No answer.

  “Are you a Deity, or just an imposter?”

  The people around were laughing at him, Joe was sure of it. But the statue itself remained stubborn on its vow of talking with one voice line at a time.

  And now Joe realized what was bugging him for the entirety of the conversation. Each time he heard the Deity speak, the tone didn’t waver even once. Text-to-speech had more emotion than this pathetic parody!

  Now, he wouldn’t expect a celestial being to be the same mental wreck that most people were. However, he didn’t like that Kon’jar didn’t even acknowledge his attempt to patronize Its status. The divine being should not concern itself with pesky worms on the shattered ground that have no respect for the higher-grade entity… But if someone doubted Its position in the world order, wouldn’t It be at least somewhat disdainful towards the offender?

  Or maybe your attempt was as weak as one of a bully, who tries to rile up his victim to punch back, feeling that there will be no consequences? Brother, you disappoint me.

  Joe shut his eyes. He felt his face stretching into a parody on a smile.

  That was uncalled for.

  Understanding is right, Darling.

  Joe never understood the full meaning of the term ‘mental pain’. Until now.

  When even your local devoted supporter takes the opposite side…

  He sighed.

  “I agree to your Quest, Kon’jar.”

  “Good luck, Seeker of Blessing.

  A piece of paper descended down from the statue. Joe followed it with his sight. When it touched the ground, he crouched and picked it up.

  There was a beautifully painted image. A sword pierced a book perfectly in the middle, with scales hanging on the handle of the weapon.

  Kon’jar’s emblem, no doubt.

  Joe smirked and put the piece of paper into a pocket. Deity or no, it was an inspiring encounter.

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