The Prince

 

With mixed feelings, I watch the Commander walk away.  I’m sure I saw that look in his eyes again when I made my entrance just now, the same look that he had when he saw me dressed up and ready to go to Qiu Palace.  It was an expression of such intensity that it frightened me and excited me at the same time, but it was gone so quickly, I can’t be sure.  And just now, I had the feeling again that, below the surface, something was happening.

This is so frustrating.

I give up on these useless thoughts and head back to the harem, a dismal place of small rooms deep in the Palace, with no windows and no natural light.  Lady Han’s there, writing letters.  She looks up and smiles.  I’ve learned that the most unremarkable appearance can hide a remarkable character.  She’s been working in the Palace for a year and has risen to the position of chief maidservant, but it’s a mystery how she’s managed all this time on her own in this dark, miserable and dangerous place.

“Jinhai,” she says, “You look perplexed.”

“I’ve just met Lady Ding’s brothers.  Ah-Ming, do you know anything about them?  Where do they have lands?”

“The Ding family holds extensive agricultural lands east of the Jiayuguan Pass.  They have a reputation for bad-tempered arrogance.”

“Well, that’s certainly true,” I say, sitting down opposite her.  “I was wondering just why Wang Meng would marry into that family and it occurred to me that perhaps they might have been involved in his Tibetan manoeuvres.  Having land inside the Empire would have been very useful in case of an invasion.  Is there any way to investigate them?”

She considers for a moment.  “You may have a point.  I’ll send a message to Border Town.  Lady Ma will be interested.”

“They really are nasty pieces of work.  The Commander said that Lady Ding was free to return home and they said that she and the boy would be two useless mouths to feed and then asked about returning the dowry.  That certainly shows their priorities.  The Commander said he’d consider returning the dowry, but what do you think she really wants to do?”

“I think she wants to get away from here, but perhaps not back to the family house.  I doubt if her life there would be much better than it was here.”

“If we return the dowry to her personally, she could buy a small house somewhere and live with her son.  Could you talk to her about it?”

“Of course.  That sounds like a good idea.  But she’s in a very fragile state.  They all are.”

“We need to get everybody out of the harem before the bad weather really sets in and the roads become impassable.  This is no place to spend the winter.  It’s absolutely freezing.”

We’re both huddled in furs and a brazier’s burning in the corner of the room.

"I agree,” she says, “There’s only twenty or so people left now.  Why don’t we move them down to Border Town?  Accommodation can be arranged and at least they’ll be among friendly faces and in more pleasant surroundings.”

“Brilliant idea.  Ah-Ming, we couldn’t have done this without you.  I’m very grateful.”

She smiles.  “I’m very well paid,” she says demurely.

I laugh.  “So am I, now.  It’s great.  I’ve never had much money of my own before.”

She turns to the small stove that’s standing next to the desk, takes a teapot from it and pours us both a cup of tea.

“The harem problem will be solved soon,” she says, “And we’ll both be out of a job.”

“Do you want to go back to Border Town?”

“No. Lady Ma wants me to stay here, for the time being at least.  I think your Doctor Liang's planning to set up a clinic for the townsfolk.  He’ll need help with that.  There would be work for both of us.  Why are you frowning?”

“Because Liang Zhou’s just like my old tutor in the Palace, always telling me off.”

“He’s fond of you.”

“Yes, I know.  I’m fond of him too.  But I wish he wouldn’t fuss.”

She looks at me with kind eyes.  “You’re fond of all of them, aren’t you?”

“Of course.  They saved my life between them.  They’re my family now.”

She takes a sip of tea.  “You do know they won’t be staying here for ever?  Sooner or later, they’ll be recalled to the capital and they’ll have to go.”

“Yes, I know.  But it won’t be for a while yet.  And by that time I’ll have thought of a plan.  Since I left the capital I’ve learned that things never quite work out the way you think they’re going to and if you’re clever, you can take advantage of that.”

“Smart boy,” she says teasingly.

Arrangements are quickly made for the remaining survivors of the harem to be transferred to Border Town.   Lady Ding and her son go with them.  The Ding brothers return home, having delivered a long list of items which are allegedly part of the dowry.  Ah-Ming volunteers to help Liang Zhou set up his clinic and quickly becomes indispensable to him.  I also volunteer and divide my time between the clinic and keeping the troop’s accounts, as I was doing on the journey.  The accounts are much more complicated now.  They involve stock inventories, supplies of firewood, food, grain, fodder for the horses, weapons, craftsmen, soldiers’ salaries and payments to townspeople.  I’m taken down to the treasury and am staggered by the accumulated wealth.  There are literally piles of gold, silver and jewels, bolts of silk and brocade, precious statues and artefacts, rare books, jade carvings, porcelain, incense and perfumes.

Reinforcements arrive from Border Town, together with Ren Baiyi, who’s been transferred to our troop.  He speedily becomes one of the family and is clearly delighted to have got away from the stultifying atmosphere of the Border Town garrison.  We decide that keeping all the horses fed over the winter will be too difficult, so we send most of them down into the valley, only keeping the officers’ mounts and a few  others in case we need to send messages. 

Life assumes a routine, as it always does.  Liang Zhou’s clinic has been established in a building in the town so I only need to go to the Palace occasionally now.  I’m so busy that I scarcely notice at first that the Commander and I rarely meet.  It’s only when I start to hear unusual grumbles about him that I realize.  The men are complaining that his fearsome temper’s being unleashed more and more often, frequently over trifling matters.  Things come to a head when Liang Zhou tries to remonstrate with him and comes back with a black face, having had his head all but bitten off.

I’ve been allocated a small office in the clinic where I can do the accounts and be on hand in case I’m needed.  This afternoon I’m sitting over the accounts, but not really concentrating because I’m mulling over the latest story that the Commander has come to blows with a couple of horse thieves who got into the stables, and has half-killed them.  This doesn’t sound like him at all.

The door opens and, to my surprise, Shao Ru strolls in.  To my knowledge, it’s the first time he’s ever set foot in the clinic.  He sits down, takes a knife out of his waist-pouch and starts to pare his nails.  I wait, having learned that this is the preliminary to a conversation.

“You’ll have noticed that the Commander’s not in a good temper these days,” he says, not looking at me.

“I had heard something, but I haven’t seen him for days.  I think he’s avoiding me.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I must have done something to upset him.”

“Nope.  The problem is that he wants something very badly and thinks he can’t get it.”

“What?” I ask, alarmed.

“You,” says Shao Ru.

“Wh - what?”

“To put it bluntly,” says Shao Ru, as if he ever puts anything any other way, “To put it bluntly, he wants to tie you to a bed and screw you till you scream for mercy.”

He’s still not looking at me, which is just as well, since I don’t need a mirror to tell me that my face has turned a hot shade of red.

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but I reckon you feel the same way.”  He pauses and shoots a quick look at me.  “He couldn’t make a move on you before because he was your commanding officer and he thinks he can’t make a move on you now because you’re a Prince.  So you have to be the one to make the move.  I respectfully suggest that you do us all a favour and get him into bed before he murders someone.”

He puts the knife away, gets up and heads to the door.  Then he turns round and says, “Nearly forgot.  You’ll need this.”

He takes a porcelain jar out of his waist-pouch and puts it down on the desk.

“What’s that?”

“Chrysanthemum ointment,” he says.  With an evil grin, he saunters out.

My discomfiture’s complete.  I put my head down on the desk and groan.  But then what Shao Ru has said filters through.  There’s something he wants very much … you. 

That fierce hug, the look in his eyes on those few occasions:  they make sense now.  He wants me.  Elation floods my whole body.  I want to leap up and dance round the office.  It takes me a minute or two to calm down and start thinking about what else Shao Ru has said.

What should I do now?

Well, it actually seems quite clear.

How am I going to do it?  I’ve never seduced anyone before.

 I go about my afternoon’s business in a very thoughtful mood. 

Getting back to the Black Snake compound, I call for hot water, bathe and change.  I’ve left a message with Shi Mu, asking the Commander to come and see me when he gets in, to discuss something important.  I ask the servant to renew the bath water and then sit down to wait.

He gets in late these days, so there’s time to get nervous.  It’s nearly as bad as that night in Qiu Palace waiting for the dawn with a drugged man and a corpse.  But just after dark, I hear footsteps on the gravel outside and the Commander knocks on the door and enters.  At first glance, I see he’s in a black mood.

I’ve got the accounts books on the table and I’m pretending to be poring over them.  I glance up and say casually, ”You look cold.  There’s hot water in the next room if you want to warm up.  I’ll get them to bring some food while you’re bathing.”

He hesitates for a moment, but the lure of a hot bath wins him over as I knew it would.  He nods and goes through the screen door to the bathing room.

“There’s a robe there you can borrow,” I call through the door.

I summon a servant and call for food and wine.  It arrives just as he comes out, tying his sash.  The food smells appetizing.  “Sit down and have something to eat,” I say.  As he takes his place at the table, I pour a cup of wine and lean over his shoulder to put it down in front of him.  My hair brushes his hand.  He looks up sharply and seems to take in my appearance for the first time.  I’m wearing my green robe with nothing under it and my hair’s loose. 

A terrifying frown appears on his face.  He seizes my wrist and pulls me down to my knees.  “What are you trying to do?” he snaps.

As I stare up into his face, Shao Ru’s crude words spring into my mind.  My voice quavers slightly.  “I want you to tie me to the bed and screw me till I scream for mercy.”

I’m not quite sure what happens next but suddenly I find myself pinned to the wall with my wrists held at my sides and an ungentlemanly knee between my own two.  He leans in, his eyes fixed on my throat, and I panic, thinking he’s going to bite me, but instead a hot dry mouth lands just below my ear, arousing a surge of desire which causes me to gasp and arch my body involuntarily against his. 

He drops my wrists, grabs me round the waist and lifts me right off my feet.  A moment later, I’m lying on the bed and he’s lying beside me.  I realize he’s regained control of himself, because his expression’s no longer frightening.  He pushes my hair back off my face and says huskily, “Are you sure about this?”

I find my voice and croak, “I want you - so much.”

His lips touch my eyes, my cheekbones, my forehead, linger briefly on my mouth and move away again.  My lips part, I’m desperate for him to kiss me, but again his lips only linger a little.  I’m about to cast my dignity to the winds and beg, when finally his mouth settles on mine and he starts to kiss me gently but insistently, nothing invasive or suffocating, but simply brushing and rubbing and nipping and licking till the surge of desire becomes a storm that runs the whole length of my body.

His hands move downwards, untying my sash and pushing the robe aside.  Then with his mouth and hands, he begins to explore my body, as if to imprint it on his mind.  The strong, long-fingered, slightly rough hands linger on all my sensitive points.  I didn’t know I had so many.  My entire body’s in a tumult.  This is a thousand times more intense than anything I felt with the girl at the Lotus Garden.   I hear him murmur, “So beautiful.”

The jar of ointment’s sitting, shamefully obvious, on a table by the bed.  He reaches for it and I close my eyes in momentary panic. 

“Don’t worry,” he says quietly, “I won’t hurt you.”

He’s holding me with one arm.  The other hand slips down and I feel a number of unfamiliar sensations that make me gasp:  the coolness of the ointment and the unexpected feel of a finger rubbing gently and then sliding inside me.  I clutch at him and he kisses my face and whispers, “It’s all right, don’t struggle.”  A second finger follows and then he touches a place deep inside and I can’t prevent myself from moaning as a particularly intense wave of pleasure ripples upwards. 

I never thought I could feel like this.

As his fingers move inside me, my body arches under the sensations and I can’t stop myself from crying out.

“Am I hurting you?”  There’s a note of worry in his voice.

By this stage I couldn’t care less whether he hurts me or not, I just want him so much.

“No – no.  I want – more.”

The fingers slide gently out.  He adjusts my position, pulling my knees upwards, and kneels above me.  He says, “Don’t clench.  Take a deep breath, let it out slowly and relax all your muscles.”

There’s no real need for that.  My body’s ready for him and quite smoothly, we’re conjoined.

This feels so very strange.

This feels so very good.

Slowly, he starts to move and the sensations are such that I find I’m panting and gasping shamelessly.  He murmurs my name, “Jinhai.  Jinhai, say my name.”

“Shan,” I whisper hesitantly.  It sounds very unfamiliar, so I say it again, with a little more confidence and hear him gasp with pleasure too.  I clasp my legs round his waist and lift my hips, while his movements become fiercer and faster.  I feel as if I’m going to faint with pleasure.

We’re both so wrought-up that it can’t last.  We crash over the edge together and lie in a tangle of arms and legs, hearts pounding. 

I open my eyes and say the first thing that comes into my head, which is, “I love you.” Then I wince inwardly and wonder if this is too much information too soon, but there’s no need to worry, because he grabs me in a hug which makes my bones squeak and says, “Dear heart, I’ve loved you almost since I first saw you.  I don’t know how I’ve kept my hands off you all this time.”

Then he releases me and says, with concern, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, not at all.  How did you…..?  Have you – have you done this before?”

“No.  But someone gave me good advice.”

“Lady Ma?”

“Yes, she guessed how I felt about you.  Stay put.  I’ll get water and we can wash up.”

It’s difficult to let go of him.  He goes into the bathing room and comes back with a basin of water and a couple of cloths.  He’s chuckling to himself.

“What?” I say.

With an air of quoting somebody, he says, "Tie me to the bed and screw me till I beg for mercy?  Where in the world did that come from?”

“Shao Ru,” I say, grabbing a cloth.  “He guessed.”

Shan’s still chuckling.  “I’ll kill him,” he says. “Is that food still hot?  I’m starving.”

The food in its bamboo baskets is still edible.  We eat, huddling in bed because even with the braziers burning, it’s cold in the room.  Then we blow out the candles and settle down to sleep, my back against his chest.  I remember this feeling of being in his arms.  It’s indescribably comforting.

I wake up sometime towards dawn.  Shan seems to be asleep.   I wriggle round and stretch a tentative hand out to his chest.  His skin’s smooth and warm.  Greatly daring, I explore.  My hand slips slowly down over the hard muscles of chest and abdomen to his navel.  There I hesitate, not quite bold enough yet to venture further.  Then I make my mind up.  My hand moves on down, to discover that he’s not asleep at all.  On the contrary, he’s wide awake.  A chuckle comes from above.

“You’re playing with fire,” he says, teasingly but with a huskiness which makes me tremble.

“Ah.  Should I stop?”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No.”

He sits up and reaches out to me.

“Sure you’re up for this?  Any discomfort?”

“Nothing to speak of.”

“Turn round, then.”

I turn my back to him, hearing him murmur, “Where’s that stuff?”

A moment later I feel the coolness of the ointment and then he slides easily into my relaxed body.  This feels completely different.  His left arm comes round and clamps me against his chest.  His right hand slips down to my most sensitive area and begins to tease me. I can’t suppress my gasps.  He nibbles my neck and the lobe of my ear, tugging gently at the earring and sending shivers down my spine to meet the ones coming up.  I struggle to move, but can’t.  As he moves inside me, his hand moves faster too.  I feel like I’m going crazy.  I feel like I’m going to die.  Then suddenly he bites my neck, not so as to draw blood, but a good hard nip which provokes an uncontrollable explosion of sensation.  I cry out and my whole body convulses.  A moment later I hear his gasp and feel his body convulse too. 

For a second or two, I’m totally out of my senses.  I love him so much I feel like crying.  He turns me round again and holds me clasped close against him.  We stay like that, without speaking, for a long time, until we hear the sounds of the house coming awake around us:  doors opening and closing, footsteps on the gravel, the soft voices of the servants.  Someone starts moving about in the bathing room next door, bringing the morning hot water.  Shan stirs.

“I have to go,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I know that too.”

Without looking, I can tell he’s smiling.