The rest of the day could best be described as mildly agonizing for Idelle. Long, boring periods of scanning the trees alone with her thoughts were interspersed with brief moments of action. Each time left her itching to fight, but with little release and further pangs of the ever-growing hunger. As a result, when night finally fell and their ever-staunch commanding officer finally called for them to tie ropes to the corpses and drag them back to camp, she found herself letting out a great sigh of relief.

Clovis cackled again at her reaction, and she glowered at him. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me so.” 

He only smirked in response to her snide commentary. She sighed again and went over to help drag one of the corpses. Cateline informed everyone to stay on guard in case of any straggling beasts. Between that and having to drag the oversized animals behind them, the walk back to the wagons was even more drudgery than the walk out had been. 

By the time she got back, she was delighted to smell that the camp followers and guards left behind with the wagon had already started cooking. She quickly helped haul the corpses up into the wagon (leaving several strangers slightly bewildered by her display of strength) and trotted over to the cooks. Cateline gave instructions to keep a more serious watch during dinner and overnight, but they mostly passed over her head as she dug into the meal.

She was quickly let down. It tasted fine, good even. But something about the food just left her feeling unsatisfied. Unconsciously, she found herself staring at the wagons she’d hauled the corpses into.

What was wrong with her?

She forcefully shook her head. She needed to stop thinking about it so negatively. After all, if that was the reason why she was stronger than normal, and the previous encounters with dire beasts had made her stronger like she suspected? Surely that was a talent that many people would kill for.

She shuddered. Maybe some people probably would kill her for it if she wasn’t careful. Even if they couldn’t get it for themselves. She wasn’t so naive as to think that standing out couldn’t easily inspire envy and make enemies.

But even so… Wouldn’t it be more foolish not to take advantage of it?

Her thoughts continued to spin in circles as she mechanically chewed her bread. Finally, she stood up decisively and walked over to Sergeant Cateline.

“Hey, is it all right if I go take a closer look at the corpses? I’ve never seen a dire beast up close before and dragging them through the forest in the dark wasn’t much of a way to meet them. She did her best to keep her voice innocent and curious, despite a flicker of nerves.

The swarthy woman appraised her for a moment but nodded without questioning her. “Sure. Just don’t go stabbing them to feel more accomplished or something. Those hides are worth good money, and the fewer holes in them the better.”

Idelle nodded, trying to hide her eagerness, and then quickly scampered over to the nearest covered wagon. She pulled herself into the back and glanced behind her. No one was paying either her or the wagons any mind. The boisterous atmosphere of yesterday was starting to return, albeit with Cateline’s occasional reminders that more beasts might show up keeping it much more subdued. For now.

She turned back and pushed her way deeper into the wagon, kneeling beside a body she recognized as that of the enormous elk from earlier. The blood from its wounds had clotted, and it was covered with dirt. But despite that, she still felt that exhilarating and frightening urge rising faintly inside her.

Again, she nervously looked behind her. She couldn’t even see out the wagon from this far back. And despite the murmur of voices, she could clearly hear the footsteps of a few of her fellow hunters wandering the camp. None of them were close to the wagon.

She turned back to the corpse.

Slowly, almost reverently, she leaned closer to it. Towards the thick vein she knew flowed through the neck. Closer…

She pulled back. No. Think. What would someone butchering the corpse think about human teeth marks on it? Don’t be reckless. Don’t give anything away accidentally. This was her secret, and hers alone.

But still… Her eyes fell on the jagged spear wound in its chest. She leaned in closer again. Careful. She couldn’t get it on her face. She wished she’d brought a knife with her, but it felt too suspicious to go get one. She should be quick too.

Gently, her teeth closed. Were they always this sharp? They cut through the matted fur easily, and she almost pulled away at the foul taste of hair and dirt on her tongue.

Then, something sweet and tangy flowed into her mouth and she forced herself to hold back a wordless murmur of contented pleasure at how good it tasted. It wasn’t the same as before, it felt less vibrant like it had mostly faded, but even so, she felt her heart quicken at the sensation of something flowing into her. It felt warm, despite the elk’s body heat having long faded already. 

Yes. It would be better fresh and if she hunted it personally, but this would have to do. For now.

A moment later she pulled back as the sensation faded, spitting the chunk of fur and clotted blood to one side. Ew. She forced herself to wipe her mouth on the fur despite that. Leave no trace, and hurry. She didn’t want to spend too long in here.

Even so, she fed on two more of the corpses before she forced herself away and back out into the light of the campfires.

Cateline caught her eye as she walked back to sit around the campfires again. “Not so scary now, are they?” The older woman gave her a half-smile that looked slightly feral in the firelight. It might have been intimidating, under other circumstances.

Idelle only smiled back, the light reflecting off her incisors. “Yeah. Not scary at all, actually.” Cateline’s grin widened.

“That’s the attitude I like to see. You’ll do well around here, kid.”

Idelle wondered if she should be conflicted about that, but couldn’t find it in her. Was there any point in hating herself for something outside her control? She couldn’t see one. 

Yeah. This would do, for now.

A moment later, Clovis turned to her, congratulating her on her first hunt before launching into a story about a recruit who’d panicked and dropped his spear back when he’d been a newbie himself. She giggled at his imitation of the terrified boy, and a moment later someone passed her a celebratory bottle of mead. 

Slowly, the evening’s swirl of dark thoughts and secrets receded to the back of her mind before vanishing entirely and she let herself relax and enjoy the revelry under the watchful eyes of Cateline and some of the more experienced hunters.

Not too long later, the Sergeant told them to quiet down and rest, ideally with their spears on hand, and she went to her bedroll feeling warm and satisfied.

But when she fell asleep, she found herself having a strange dream.

It wasn’t a nightmare, exactly. She was in a familiar forest, eating. The trees gave off a sense of serenity and contentment. It felt like home, in a strange way. 

She ate a little more, then wandered a short way along a winding deer trail until she came across a river.

She knelt down and drank deeply of the fresh, clear water. Satisfied, she went to rest under a tree, keeping a watchful eye on her surroundings.

It was a good thing she did, too. A wolf, her ever-present enemy, found her resting place. It was no magic wolf though, only a normal one. She leapt to her feet and sprinted away, but it was alone and didn’t chase her. It probably only wanted to drink, too.

Some time passed, and the forest shifted. It was smaller now. But more than that, it felt wrong. Like the sanctity of her home had been broken. She could smell it. Someone was here.

She jogged off into the woods. She’d just have to make them leave.

The dream grew more fragmented after that. There were shouts and bursts of pain, but her head was too foggy to remember the details. Still, she’d done her best. That was all anyone could ask. She laid down on the ground and sank back into darkness.

Then she was by the river again. She looked down into it. Her reflection stared back at her. She was smiling, a little too wide, and yet the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She didn’t like the look. It reminded her of Ivar, and the casual way his sword could find a student’s throat, only a few centimeters away from cutting it open.

“Do you see?”

She blinked at her reflection. The words came from her mouth, but they were awkward and stilted, like a child who was still learning how her tongue worked.

“See what?”

Her reflection didn’t respond. It was only a reflection, after all.

The sunset dyed the water in murky red and brown hues. She had a headache. Why did she have a headache again?

Then she woke up. Oh. She did have a headache. Maybe it was the alcohol.

She searched beside her for a flask of water and uncorked it to take a drink. The pounding subsided. Better.

She fell back into a half-sleep for a while longer, until Cateline’s voice roused both her and the rest of the camp. 

“All right you lot, grab anything you want to eat, and then we’re marching back to Wyrlet. You’re lucky, seems we got all of ‘em on the first round so I didn’t need to wake you up for ambush training.”

She reluctantly pulled herself out from inside her bedroll, shivering a little at the cold air on her face. Time to head back to the city, apparently.