Losing My Religion
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The room was surprisingly large, given that it was intended for only a couple people to sleep comfortably. In many ways, it resembled the dorm Pallas had occupied in the church, except this room actually had a window for the small table and chairs. A large chest of drawers occupied one corner of the room with a decorative vase of flowers situated on top. The bed's mattress was quite large and bore a pair of fluffy pillows as well as a well-crafted blue and white quilt. Pallas walked across the weathered, hardwood floors, nearly tripping over the thick, blue, woven rug on her way to the table. While the room lacked any adornment, it still felt very cozy. She looked around with a quiet sigh. 'This will be home for a while, eh?' she thought to herself with a wry smile as she peered out the window.

Berna stepped in behind her and took a seat at the table, motioning Pallas to do the same. Once seated, Pallas turned her full attention to Berna's watchful gaze. The woman was pretty, in a plain sort of way, but there was something a bit off about her youthful features. It was as if her appearance and her behavior were out of sync. Almost like watching a young woman acting like a grandmother. Berna smiled warmly at Pallas's scrutiny and finally asked, "You're noticing something is different about me, aren't you?"

Pallas blinked in surprise, but nodded. "Yeah, you... feel more wise and mature than you look. I'm not sure what to make of it." The longer Pallas studied Berna's face, the more she could almost see a faint hint of light shimmering just below the surface of the skin. The luminescence seemed to pulse and flow like blood through vessels with the amount of light waxing and waning intermittently. "I... can see light? Under your skin, I mean? I don't know how else to describe it."

This time it was Berna's turn to blink in surprise. She covered her face self-consciously for a moment before letting her hands drop with a defeated smile. "I honestly never expected this. We came up here to talk about you and your situation, not me and mine. But maybe this can be an opportunity for understanding." She reached across the table and took Pallas' hands into her own with a serious expression on her face. "You are clearly gifted with abilities beyond the norm. Can you tell me more about yourself? The truth about yourself?"

Pallas hesitated, uncertain of how much she should reveal. "If I tell you everything, you'll probably think I'm crazy," she said softly.

"Nonsense!" Berna exclaimed. "I might think you're a bit unusual, but you seem to be in full possession of your faculties!" There was a tightness in Berna's tone that gave Pallas the impression that she was keeping something back. Berna simply shook her head at Pallas's inquisitive look. "I'm a Priestess of Listern," she explained. "Those in the church beyond a certain level have studied for years to recognize signs of illness and I see none of them in you."

Still holding Berna's hands, Pallas shifted her gaze back outside the window. The glass was transparent, if a bit discolored, but the window offered an unobstructed view of the open street outside. "I'm not originally from this world," Pallas began. "I don't know anything about this world because I come from another." She looked back toward Berna, but the older woman gave no indication of how this information impacted her.

"In the other world, I was a boy. Probably three or four years older than the body I have now. I got into a fight with some other boys and there was an accident. I ended up being crushed beneath a waterwheel. I think I drowned? I'm not sure. All I know for sure is that the next time I opened my eyes, I was in bed in this body," Pallas continued. She took a deep breath to calm the anger and fear that had bubbled up in her heart. "My world was very different from this one. More advanced, I guess? It's hard to explain in a way that would make sense." Pallas had omitted the parts about Athena, uncertain how Berna would react as a Priestess of another god.

Berna released Pallas's hands and leaned back in her chair with a facade of thoughtful concentration. "I see... That story is quite difficult to accept, but I don't see any signs of deceit," she said flatly. Berna inhaled deeply though her nose before continuing. "The things you speak of would indicate a higher power was involved in bringing you to our world. Do you... recall a Divine presence? Perhaps a god or goddess?"

'Shit.' Pallas thought to herself. 'I was hoping she wouldn't ask.' Her mind was spinning as she tried to figure out the best response to avoid putting herself at odds with her sole benefactor in this world.

"It's all a bit hazy. I guess being dead messes with your memories," Pallas replied guardedly. "I heard a woman's voice telling me to breathe." She studied Berna's face, waiting for a reaction.

"There's a reason I ask, Pallas," Berna said. "I believe you were brought here by Listern herself because your soul was in the wrong body."

Pallas tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean by that?" 

"As a Priestess of Listern, I can read the magical energies in another person, up to a point. And in our world, there are two types of energy: Sol and Lun." Berna paused a moment before continuing. "Sol is aggressive, forceful. It shines bright, almost blindingly so, but is difficult to control - like a raging beast. Lun is softer, supportive. Its glow is not so bright but it guides your hand in its use like a patient teacher. Sol is the magical energy bestowed by the god Tyonon to male souls, while Lun is the magical energy gifted to female souls by Listern. The energy I see in you is that of Lun."

Berna stood and walked around to stand behind Pallas and placed her hands on the younger girl's shoulders. "I believe Eber was right. I believe Listern recognized your soul as blessed with Lun and brought you here to thrive."

Berna's hands were warm and comforting, reminding Pallas of her mother - Naythen's mother - back in her homeworld. Pallas leaned her head to the right, against Berna's arm, and closed her eyes. "So you're saying that my soul has this female energy, Lun? Even though I was born as a boy?"

"Yes, child," Berna said. "It happens rarely. A child is blessed by Tyonon or Listern but is born in the opposite body, creating lifelong conflict unless the child is helped."

Pallas turned her head to look back at Berna. "Helped how?"

"That's something I cannot discuss with those outside the church. It's a very private matter. But you needn't worry! Listern has already seen fit to correct the issue and gift you a body that matched your soul. Whatever your condition before, everything is as it should be now! Listern be praised!" 

There was something about the zealous tone of Berna's reply that was a bit unsettling to Pallas, but she put it aside for now. "So what do I do? Where do I go? I can't just stay here forever."

"Whatever do you mean?" Berna responded in a genuinely bewildered tone.

"I have no idea what my options are. In my world, I went to school and studied every day. Math, science, languages, history... I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, but studying all that stuff was intended to serve as a foundation to do something bigger. Like being a doctor or a teacher or running a business." Pallas sighed. She placed her elbows on the table, leaned forward, and dropped her face into her hands, pulling away from Berna.

"Well, you're a gifted child. I would be remiss in my duties as Second Priestess if I didn't send you on a pilgrimage to Erimere for training. You would make an excellent addition to the Church of Listern!" Berna went on happily as she returned to her seat. "The Church is the only place where one can learn to read and write, and lay down the fundamentals of magic!"

"Magic?" Pallas asked in surprise. "Is that how you did the Force Choke thing on Ser Pinemark downstairs?"

"Force...choke? Er, yes, that was magic! And you're positively brimming with potential. Why, you'd likely even become a Priestess yourself!" The cheer in Berna's tone was impossible to ignore. The more she went on, the more she sounded like a sales recruiter in a pyramid scheme. Pallas was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

"Can... people read and write or use magic outside the church?" Pallas asked hesitantly.

Berna's face darkened at the question. "It is not impossible. But the heathens that operate outside the light of the church do so with out the Godhead's blessing. Fools teaching fools," she hissed through her teeth. "Not everyone is blessed with the mettle to bear the knowledge of the world without. Each community operates in conjunction with the Church to recognize those with the ability and the character to use the knowledge contained in human records with the blessings of Listern and Tyonon."

Pallas bristled at Berna's explanation. 'So, basically, this church keeps people ignorant and compliant to maintain control over the communities?' she thought to herself. 

Her face must have conveyed the tone of her thoughts because Berna gave a patronizing smile and said, "There is no greater honor or calling than serving the Church."

"And if I don't go, what then?" 

Berna's smile faltered a bit. "Well, there are many options that could provide a comfortable life, but ultimately you would need to marry. Women cannot own land or livestock, so that's your only option beyond paying to live at an inn indefinitely."

Pallas pouted. "Well, that sucks." She studied her hands for a moment. "Don't you people do anything fun? Or artistic? Where are the dancers, the painters, the story-tellers? What do people do when they're not working fields or mining?" Pallas clenched her fists and hit the table. "What do people live for?"

The smile on Berna's face completely vanished. "People find glory in serving the Church. We come together for community projects and give worship to the Godhead," she said with a degree of reproof. "This brings meaning to everything we do. It might do you well to experience that firsthand."

"O... kay?" Pallas muttered. "I mean, I'm not opposed to charity work. But what about personal fulfillment?"

"I think I understand," Berna muttered. "You're young, yet. You're filled with dreams and ambitions. But you'll come around to understand the importance and the significance of working under the Godhead. Listern is a nurturing mother and She will show you the way."

Pallas shook her head and rose to her feet. "I think I'm getting the picture." A pit of anguish sat heavy in her stomach and her mind was racing with feelings of fear and hopelessness. "Basically, it's my choice - join the Church or become some farm worker's happy little broodwife."

"Well... yes. More or less," Berna admitted.

That small core of hopelessness dissolved as the flames of indignation rose up in Pallas's belly. She lifted her icy blue eyes to stare directly into Berna's hazel orbs. "Berna, I appreciate everything you've done for me. I truly do. But I need some time alone to consider my situation."

Berna nodded and collected herself to leave. "I understand. I'll be back this evening to check on you. After all, the mayor was planning on calling a meeting to discuss your situation with the village. In the meantime, can you please check in with Eber? He will provide some chores for you to earn your keep."

"Sure," Pallas replied coldly. With one hand behind Berna's back, Pallas gently guided the older woman to the door. "I look forward to hearing from you tonight. After I've had time to think."

Berna pulled Pallas into an embrace and kissed her on the forehead. "Normally, children with your gifts are guided to the Church at a much younger age. I can only imagine how difficult this must be."

Tight-lipped, Pallas simply nodded numbly as she closed the door behind Berna. As soon as the door latch clicked, she spun on one foot and stalked to the bed, desperately trying to contain the anger she felt. With no other outlet, she buried her face into her pillow and screamed.

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