Today was the day I died. I had to do what I hadn’t been able to do.

I’d confess to the person I love.

So, I got up off the bed especially early, said I love you to mom and dad. I washed the toilet, something I always delayed. I tidied my bedroom, so when I’m gone, my family would have it easier to empty.

I told mom and dad that I love men. They were shocked, asked me for how long, and I told them I had dated a classmate in secret when I was in junior high. 

I got punched.

But I was happy. Coming out of the closet was really great!

I wrote them a letter, and I sent it to the post office. Should be delivered in two days. Got to be thankful for someone who invented the delivery service!

I went to the school, a supernatural school. Strange, why was the weather so nice on the day I die? Damn it.

Well, forget it. Gotta enjoy it while I could. It was nice actually.

I just remembered that I was always too busy with the school tasks. Too occupied with the thought of doing the best in my life, that I hadn’t enjoyed school life instead. They were pretty fun. Learning was fun, friends were fun. Ah, of course. People had to be reminded that they could always have 100 years of living time. Regret always came later. If it came first then the name should be registration.

Ha ha ha! I loved jokes and memes. I actually loved many things in this life.

I loved this guy especially, so so much. This damn arrogant senior. I thought this feeling was more like a hate — admiration, but, hey, this was my last day on earth, and I wanted to hug him so much my heart almost poured out. On your last day living, you couldn’t lie, gotta be honest or you would regret it on your deathbed.

 

“Senior, I love you.” I said it to his face. I didn’t want to hear an answer, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I have watched you since grade 2.

“Sure, let’s date.”

“Okay.”

…….

Ah…!

“Wait, WHAT??” I looked up at his face. He liked me too? He didn’t seem surprised or shocked. “ You like me too??”

He stared at me for a long time before saying, “Sui Shizi, special class grade 4-3. Is that right?”

“Yes, sir!” Because of his commanding tone, I unconsciously made a salute pose, I heard him breathe, and in a soft voice, he said, “I also like you.”

He slightly smiled. I suddenly want to hug him. “Excuse me, senior, can I hug you?” My time was ticking. I wanted to hug you, I wanted to hug you, I wanted to hug you.

But, you must be embarrassed, right? You were known as cold blooded number 1 fighter in the city, even though you were still a student. Hug was not in your dictionary. Saying you like me too, was already out of this world. Was it true? You liked me too? What was it that you like in me? Why did you like this fortune teller nerd that could only rely on his future visions cheat?

Suddenly, I felt my wrist being pulled, a familiar smell got in my nose. His body was wider than mine, with his long muscle shaped hand, he easily wrapped my entire body.

Ah, I got aroused.

This number 1 student in our school, one of the most powerful students, with the most handsome face and hot body, cold personality, lone wolf, with the manliest smell of all men, was hugging me right now. I could die right now. This was a right moment, to die in my beloved arms was enough. No wait, where was Tompol? I need him to freeze time. One minute was enough.

I touched his wide, manly back. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I heard my heartbeat beating crazily. Ah, so embarrassing. Did you hear that, senior? I loved you so much that my heart was bombing inside. It was all because of you hugging me. Everyone said that you were a cold blooded prince, you didn’t have a heart. Was that why you don’t feel embarrassed, hugging a gay boy in the school corridor? Everyone said that your gaze froze people, and  your hands had been spilled by people’s blood. Had you embraced them like this, they would surely understand that your eyes could appear soft and passionate; that your hands and body emitted warmth that was so comfortable.

Ah, senior must have known about my fate today, That was why he cooperated with me, helped me to make the most memorable last day ever. So thoughtful.

“What do you want me to do next?” Still hugging my waist, he turned his face toward mine. His green eyes and small nose inches away from mine. Right? He knew about today. That was why he asked this question.

“I haven’t thought about that yet,” I planned to only confess to you today, never thought you knew about my condition and would cooperate. How did you know that I would die today, anyway?

“Want to skip class?”

“Eh?”

Before I could answer, he pulled me to the school backyard, climbed the wall easily, and offered his hand to pull me. I was still feeling guilty skipping class, but again, hey, this was my last day alive. Screw rules! Screw school! I wanted to skip class with my beloved boyfriend!

We climbed and passed the high wall easily. He was still holding my hand and why was it that his hands were bigger than mine although we were both guys? This guy had no weak points, alright? Even other men lost to him in terms of manliness.

“Where are we going, senior?” tightening my hand on his, I asked.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked me instead, smiled.

My hand raised without my consent, and touched his dimple. “Senior, your smile is so handsome!”

Ah!! Go to hell with shame! This was my last day! My last day!

Senior turned stiff, then his expression softened. He stared at me until I couldn’t take it. I looked away.

“I want to go to a lot of places with you, senior! You pick one!” I said, remembering my wish list. “Barbecue restaurant, movies, practice field, colosseum, arcade, junior high, beach, the planetarium, library…. Ah, okay! Much more than that actually but they are too far!”

I wanted to go to your hometown too, senior, to the place you were born. But there was no time. I’ll die at exactly 6 P.M. Only 10 hours left.

He thought a bit, then said, “Library first? You like that place, don’t you?”

Ahh!! Why did I say that place! I wanted to be lovey dovey with you, at the library we couldn’t even chat freely! But my thought suddenly interrupted by a question, how did you know that I like going to the library? Did you like me that much? Even more, and even longer than I liked you?

Walking to my favourite place, hand in hand with the person I like, felt like a dream. I loved the library's quietness, the paper smell, and the sunlight that came in through the windows. Now I liked them even more, seeing senior basking in those lights.

“What books do you like, senior?” I whispered to him.

“Hmm… Books of Swords References.”

“You’re too diligent… That’s why you’re number 1.” You practice and study, when other physical type students only relied on their physical power.

“Not really, I went to the library because of you,” he smiled.

“Me?” Unbelievable. “I haven’t asked you back then, senior,” I grasped the air deeply. “Do you like, seriously, really, like me?”

I stared at his eyes, wide eyed. I didn’t know, but I felt like there were glows in them. I’m scared but also curious, “why?”

He slowly leaned close to me, and whispered in my ear, “I love you, seriously, like seriously, love you so much. I want to know more about you, I want to be able to hold your hand forever.” He said this, his breath kissed my cheek.

I never fell for a person so much before.

It was strange. I had always looked at him from afar, but he never looked my way. Now, he said he wanted to hold my hand forever. This was too good to be true. “Senior, do you know that… today is….”

I stopped in the middle. Did you think, did you know that this was my last day so you deliberately being nice to me?

But I couldn’t. It didn’t matter, it was fine if he was. Even if it was only an act of kindness, Sui Shizi was Xuyun senior’s boyfriend.

Well, I was a coward and egoistic person.

“I have liked you for so long, senior. Don’t you feel weird being with another man?”

It doesn’t matter. I like you, that’s the most important thing.”

He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He rarely smiled at school. His smile was really handsome. Why didn’t you smile often? Wait, don’t. It made me happy to have a privilege to see.

I was actually a good student, the law enforcer of the school. But, this moment, let’s break it. This book needed a good illustration anyway. So, while senior was reading, I secretly drew him. Hmm, not bad. Sorry I had to tear it a bit.

I added some messages.

You should smile more often.

After a while, I dragged him to the practice field where he often went. When I said that I wanted to watch him practicing the sword, he looked embarrassed. He he. He was so cute.

"Where is your sword, senior?" His sword name was Shinenema, a black sword with dark aura. It was as famous as the owner.

He walked into his locker room and back with a long, thin, black sword. His and his sword's aura felt similar.

"Do you want to hold it?" He asked, giving me his sword. He was gonna hand me his private sword so easily? Sword was a part of a fighter's body, an extension of their soul, the media for their strength.

"Is it really okay for me to hold this?" Every sword that had an owner was made of part of the owner's soul. If someone without much power touched it, they could be hurt.

"Don't worry, as long as you don't sheathe it, the power won't come out," he said as he put the sword in my hand. Wow, this sword was in my hand! The same sword which senior used in all his battle experience! I could feel the weight, the sword weight, and the weight of people lives on this sword's presence.

Awkwardly, I swung the sword left and right. Then, I thrust it forward. How many times did senior swung this sword in his practices? Did he do this day and night? Spring to winter? Suddenly I could feel his sweat and blood on the hilt.

"You want to practice with me? I'll teach you. Like this." He grabbed my hand which was still on the sword. His left hand on my waist. He taught me the footsteps, the body movement, the slashes, leading my body to match his. 

His right hand never left mine. Felt like we were dancing.

After that, he picked up two wooden swords and gave me one. "Come on, show me what you've learnt." He looked so excited. His passionate face always fascinated me.

We practiced for a long time, we were so tired that we lied on the grass field. Of course he wasn't tired at all. He was just being considerate with me.

"All right, playtime's over. I want to watch you practice seriously." I urged him, laughing. 

He smiled at me, took a deep breath, then got up while holding the two wooden swords. He stood straight at the center field, bowed to my direction, before thrusting the sword to the side, turning, slashing and jumping, somersaulting twice. The wooden blade looked like a real blade in his hands. Wow, so handsome.  He could even do dual sword style.

I had seen him fighting before. But, right now, it looked like he was fighting for me alone. Only I had eyes on him, and he only looked at me. In this wide, empty practice field, we were the only ones in this world.

But, time wouldn't stop. It was 3 P.M.

 

***