Full chapter in The Ocean Between The Sky.

***

At that moment, time seems infinite. It felt like it would last for eternity. A brief moment that looks infinite.

But after eternity, there was only light.

Blue light.

Light that lasts for the blink of an eye. 

A light so pure and beautiful that for so long only brought me happiness. But in that morning it brought me only sadness and death.

***

For a brief moment, protecting me with my magic was like an embrace. It was hot and cold at the same time. It was emotionally and dangerous. It was like comprehending everything that existed inside me. And It feels like for the first time I understood what it means to be me. Truly and completely.

And after that feeling, I remembered what I was doing, what I was trying to do. I was trying to find Sun and to save Sun. And I remembered that to make it, I needed to control my magic. 

I fell into my magic. I fell into the ocean and felt my heart pound. 

I fell and started to fight for the control of my magic.

And controlling my magic was like having to get up at dawn after staying up most of the night. It was terrible and excruciating and agonizing. Because the freedom was amazing and addictive. It was like being on top of the world.

***

I stared at the dust and the blades for a second. 

I stared at it for a year and realized what I had done with another person.

I was sinking into my mind. 

I was sinking. 

I was sinking into the blue.

I closed my eyes.

Blue. 

It was the only thing that existed inside my mind. 

I was just seeing blue.

I opened my eyes. 

I took a breath.

I sent light blue to another person.

To the other Guardian.

And for the first time in my entire life, I was blue.

Everything was blue. 

***

Dear God, thank you for listening to me and staying with me. Dear God,  please give me the strength to do everything I need to protect my family. Please, make me strong for Sun. That’s what I ask you and appreciate, God.