"Errrr... Well, on second thought, no - I can't really explain... this..." [Katiana]
She waved her free hand around the room before poking a finger into the dangling Viscount's ample middle a few times.
"Hwell.... I guess I can start with this guy - mug-wart here is claiming I owe him money my so-called dad - who bit the dirt last year - lost in gambling, and I just don't see why I have to foot that. Is not like I even inherited anything - the house and everything went to my step-mom, because there was no will found..." [Katiana]
Katiana scrunched up her nose at her victim while giving him another shake.
My mother snapped her fingers on both hands before I could react - her maids swarmed into the office and around Katiana, retrieving the Viscount from her grip
In seconds the Viscount was hog-tying with frightening efficiency, and before the scoundrel could even squeak a word, he was also gagged.
I pointed a thumb back into the office area behind me.
"I sort of figured the situation out, but how do you explain the demolition back there? I'm almost suspecting that a swarm of half-dragons had a dance competition with an army of orcs."
Katiana kicked the floor with one foot and twisted her hands together, lowered her head a bit, and attempt to make what I suspected she thought were puppy eyes.
"Ahhhhh.... there was a freak earthquake?" [Katiana]
I sighed loudly, rubbing the bridge of my nose between two fingers.
"Dear, I think that might not fly very far with Nitram - I tired to use a similar story on his father back when we were courting, and my actual strength still got found out. For such a dense boy, my son still has a modicum of brains, you know..." [Mother Duchess, Wudemia]
"Oh. Kay... well, I did work as a maid since I was seven - washing heavy bed sheets, carpets, dresses, doing dishes, cooking, sweeping, scrubbing... takes a lot of strength you know!" [Katiana]
I took a few steps and stood next to Katiana holding out my sheathed star-metal sword - you recall, the one that three fit smiths barely could carry.
"Of course my dear fairy like wife... In the meantime, would you mind holding this for a moment? I wish to inspect the contents of that safe..."
"Oh, of course! Big-sis, he called me fairy!" [Katiana]
She grabbed Bear-Grim with one hand and held it up at an angle as if it was a feather duster, and grinned at my mother.
I strode over to the wall safe - it was locked.
Well, "locked" was quickly past-tense, as I pulled on the safe door and let it clang onto the floor.
When my mother noticed what my wife was holding, she clicked her tongue and rolled her eye, then pointed at Bear-Grim.
"Katiana, dear..." [Mother Duchess, Wudemia]
"Eeek! Oh my, this swo... big big knife is soooo heaaaaavy!"[Katiana]
Katiana carefully lowered Bear-Grim to the floor.
My mother shook her head and mouthed "too late" at Katiana.
Right - acting was not exactly my wife's strong point, was it?
I sighed again, shook my head, and inspected the papers in the now door-less safe.
"There is quite a stack of interesting papers here. Take care of this."
I waved at the safe and Shadow removed the rest of the contents, sorting and handing various pieces to the other agents.
"So... Do you... um... dislike muscular women?" [Katiana]
I wracked my brain where this tall but slim woman was hiding her impressive strength, then decided to play it safe.
"No matter how I look at you dear wife, you are a lithe and graceful gazelle."
"Big-sis, he called me a pretty gazelle!" [Katiana]
Katiana fanned her free hand - the one not holding onto Bear-Grim - in front of her face and actually blushed.
Husband 101 - never correct your wife, although in this case, yes, my wife is a pretty gazelle like creature - who apparently can smash holes into brick walls as if they were paper-mache.
"Yes he did, dear. Well, now that we are done here, did you finish fitting the ball gowns before you were invited here?" [Mother Duchess, Wudemia]
"Yes I did - I'm good with what they tailored - and I picked out matching suits for Nitram, too!" [Katiana]
My wife leaned towards my mother and whispered, which as always was - to me at least - as if she hadn't bothered to lower her voice.
"The goons jumped me at the shoe store. I would have slapped them down already then, but I was curious who was behind this..." [Katiana]
As I gently retrieved Bear-Grim from Katiana, slinging it onto my back, I noticed that Nozomi had joined its mistress and had become a part of her dress somehow again.
"You must be very tired from bashi... from this unexpected ordeal, dear wife."
Ah, I think she might have infected me with her self-correction habit...
"Oh I am! So annoyi... it was all so so frightening! I wish there were some instructional pamphlets... squeeee!" [Katiana]
My wife imitated a piglet as I swept her up into my arms - her hands instinctively wrapped themselves behind my neck.
"Wheee! Princess carry! This is the first time anyone has princess carried me! I mean - how embarrassing!"
She dug her face into my shoulder for a moment.
I started walking down the stairs with her, my mother and her maids following us - most of my agents were still taking the offices appart looking for more evidence.
As we reached the second floor, Katiana raised her head and continued talking as if nothing had happened.
"What I wanted to say - it would be so handy if there were books for young ladies such as '10 ways to hide a lock pick in your corset.' or 'Proper etiquette with kidnappers - formal or informal?' or ..." [Katiana]
Two low voices behind us added in a suggestion each.
"First aid 101 - keeping your kidnappers alive after beating them to a pulp." [Shadow]
"Basic masonry - wall repair after a rampage." [Gina the Combat Maid]
"... thank you for your inputs, Statler and Waldorf. Duly noted, and duly rejected. Seriously, why isn't there 'Inducing reverse Stockholm-syndrome in your kidnapper - the Kathrina Claes method' for instance?" [Katiana]
"All good ideas, dear, and you should maybe write them - for the education of all future kidnapped young ladies of course."
Katiana beamed at my endorsement.
"I think I will do just that! Wait a minute, are you maybe pulling my le... oh... so many peoples!" [Katiana]
We exited the office building, in front of which a small crowd of spectators and reporters had gathered - there was quite a bit of speculation going back and forth on what was going on.
Also a squad of harbor guards was approaching from one side - what they lacked in fitness, they made up in noise, their badly sized armor clanging as they jogged.
"Hut hut hut! One two one two!" [Guard Captain]
And then I heard one of the reporters say something to his neighbor that made my ears perk up.
"Oh look, isn't that the 'Wings of the Goddess' coming out?" [Random Reporter]
