Breezy was the most apt way to describe the feeling as I stood behind the counter on the slopes of Mt. Daisen. The temple complex was situated along the mountainside, hidden away amidst towering, snowy evergreens atop a flight of stone stairs. Several Torii gates dominated the area around the temple with the shops crouching along the wide stone courtyard a short distance north of the temple itself. It was in the last shop I found myself, snow drifting down from the heavy sky.

I had, of course, been late. I’d woken up on time but the trip up the mountain had been slow and treacherous due to the heavy snow. I had, once again, been sentenced to the charm shop following my duties sweeping the middle group of stairs clear of snow. Honestly, at this rate, I had no idea why they even bothered keeping me around. I, similarly, had no idea why I bothered keeping the job.

I didn’t get paid much and the Hakama was terribly cold on days like this and smelled like sheep because of the wool. Fortunately, the little heater in the charm shop rattled on like a champ and blew warm air throughout the inside. The lack of pubic hair, however, definitely made it…well, breezy. I should have worn my thicker granny panties, I decided. I also should have worn my wool leggings but in the rush, I’d worn my cotton ones and was sorely regretting it the entire walk to work.  

Perhaps it was habit. Possibly even a sense of loyalty. The temple had been the first place I’d ever worked, and it seemed disrespectful to quit. Whatever the reason every other week found me on the slopes of Mt. Daisen at the ass crack of dawn sweeping the weathered stones in my Hakama. I did like the Hakama, though. It seemed like a solid link to a past most of Japan had moved beyond. A tangible reminder of days not to ever return. While most traditions seemed designed to keep people in their lane, the image of Miko doing their duties to the gods like red and white clad ghosts felt somehow necessary.

There weren’t many visitors to the temple, and I had to fight down the urge to lay my head on the cold wood counter. The swelling had, mercifully, gone down and wasn’t even noticeable anymore. The pain, likewise, had vanished and my vagina had returned, mercifully, to normal. Except for the breeze. I doubted I would ever get used to the feeling and, frankly, did not want to. Some people probably thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I did not. I would simply have to tell Emi I had a wild pubic hair growth spurt so as to make certain this sort of thing never had to happen again.

The argument I’d had with Aria the night before played through my mind again. To be honest, I should still be pissed at her for her wild, crude, accusations. But I actually found myself kind of flattered. I had begun to think I was the only one guilty of wild fits of rage-inducing jealousy. It was comforting somehow to know I wasn’t the only one. It made me feel less like a crazed stalker worrying about nothing and more like a normal person going through normal issues. It was comforting to know that, at least in some respects, I was normal. I scowled. That meant I had one relationship point, too. I didn’t want to admit it, but it seemed Komari was right about the relationship game.  

“Hey! They have charms!” a boy’s voice cut through the quiet and, likewise my thoughts, like a knife. I glanced over and found three young boys and a pair of girls coming my way from the temple. Ah, fuck, I scowled. Kids. By the time the group reached my counter I’d squirreled away my scowl into the place where retail employees kept their emotions and had a smile on my face.

“Welcome to Daisenji Temple, my young friends,” I intoned, bowing in greeting.

“Are you a Miko?” One of the girls asked curiously.

“I am, indeed” What gave it away? I thought venomously. Was it the Hakama or the fact I was standing behind the counter at a temple that tipped you off you little beast? I didn’t do well with children. They weren’t human, yet. Merely wild animals parents had to try to teach to be actual people.

“Hey! Do you kill demons?” The boy who’d first spoke yelled, betraying a decided lack of volume control I found grating.

“Huh?” I blinked at him.

“I saw a show about this Miko who carried a holy Odachi and went around the country killing demons! Do you kill demons?”

“She doesn’t kill demons, dummy!” The other girl answered. “She’s in love with the rival princess and they have to battle to the death when they turn 18!”

“I heard the deity is a fox goddess who has sex rituals on full moons! Are you one of the fox’s concubines?” One of the other boys with a Demon Slayer backpack around his chest like a papoose demanded.

“Stupid!” The first boy erupted. “She’s a girl! How can she be a goddess’ concubine?”

“Girls can be concubines because gods aren’t girls or boys!” The last girl corrected.

“Where’s your Odachi?” The first boy leaned on the counter to stare behind me, looking for a 3-meter-long sword.

“I don’t have one,” I insisted, well aware I’d lost what little control I had over the conversation.

“How are you going to kill demons, then? Is it back home?”

“She’s in love with the rival princess!” The first girl yelled.

“When do the sex rituals start? I want to watch! Can I watch?”

“You’re too young to watch, moron!” What the hell was even going on?

“Do you want to purchase a charm?” I finally managed, aware of the girl, Ichika, in the next shop over smirking at me. Go over to her, I thought. She’s got candy, you little heathens.

“Ok! Ok!” A voice said, I looked over to see a tall blonde man with a girl older than me and a much older Japanese woman walking toward us. “Let’s just buy some charms and head to breakfast. Ok?”

“Kaaaay,” The five children replied glumly.

“I’m sorry about that, they don’t get out much,” the man apologized. “Wait. Miss Fujimura?” It took me a moment before I recognized him as the doctor from the hospital. Aria’s uncle.

“Oh, hello, sir,” I bowed again in reflex. “It’s nice to see you again.” Aria hadn’t mentioned she had so many cousins.

“Your cast comes off soon, right?” Doctor Somerset peered at my arm. “I bet that’s going to be a relief.”

“Jim,” the older woman beside him warned. “You’re not at work. My apologies, my husband is always on duty, it seems.

“Ah, it’s quite alright. And, two weeks, in fact,” I held the cast up for inspection.

“You need to be careful with your body! You only get one, you know!” He chuckled at what I could only imagine was some form of doctor humor I wasn’t privy to.

“Jim,” the woman warned again, elbowing him gently in the ribs.

“Sorry, sorry! This is my wife, Hina and my daughter Sara,” He gestured to the women beside him. I bowed in turn to each of them. “And these little beasts are part of the hospital’s outreach program. That young man is Itsuki,” he pointed to the boy who thought I was some kind of demon slayer. “That’s Jiro,” the boy who was obsessed with sex cults put his fists on his hips proudly. “Minato’s the quiet one there.” The boy waved sheepishly, and I waved back. “And that is Yui and Ui,” He introduced the two girls who waved enthusiastically at me. I smiled and waved back. There was no way I’d ever remember any of their names. I was awful with names as it was. “They’re part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program I’ve introduced here to help disadvantaged youth in Tottori.”

“Ah,” I said, not sure what he was talking about. “Well, welcome to Daisenji,” I repeated.

“So, do we all want charms?” Doctor Somerset enthused. All the children cheered as if he’d just offered them candy for a year. What the hell kind of lies had people been telling about these charms? I glanced back at the wall of charms behind me hoping to see them in a new light. I did not.

“I want a love charm!” Yui exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.

“Yui’s in love with a boy! Yui’s in love with a boy!” Jiro chanted. I scowled at the little bastard but quickly regained self-control and brought my retail face back to bear.

“So what?” Yui stamped her foot angrily.

“Yui wants to kiss him! Yui wants to kiss him!” Jiro was getting on my last damn nerve.

“At least I don’t sit around crying that my pee pee hurts while looking at magazines with naked people like you do!” Yui howled, her face red with anger, little hands clenched into fists. Jiro done fucked up, I thought gleefully. He’d be a social pariah for years. The silence that fell over the assembled group was thick with tension as every eye turned to Jiro. I kept my face a mask of impassive calm which I considered a great victory given how badly I wanted to laugh until I cried.

“You said you wouldn’t tell!” Jiro screamed, completely unaware he was simply digging the hole deeper by admitting to the scurrilous accusations.

“I wouldn’t have if you weren’t a butt ass!” Yui yelled back.

“I hate you!” Jiro sobbed, turning, and running as fast as he could.

“Uh,” Doctor Somerset cleared his throat. “Haha.”

“Awkward,” Sara chuckled. The kids stared at each other unsure what to say. Only Yui seemed nonplussed, her smile one of smug superiority. Well-earned superiority, I decided. One doesn’t poke the bear unless one is prepared to get mauled. A lesson Jiro had now learned.

“Normally Aria is here to act as another set of eyes,” Doctor Somerset mumbled, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s quite all right,” I waved his concerns away. “I’ve seen much worse, I assure you.”

“Well if she hadn’t stayed out all night maybe I could have slept in today instead,” Sara muttered ruefully.

“Now, now,” Doctor Somerset soothed her. “We rise and fall as a family! Just because one of us isn’t here doesn’t mean we can disparage them!” I stared at him blankly. He sounded like a motivational poster.

“Fine. Sorry,” Sara muttered, rolling her eyes surreptitiously.

“Do you enjoy working here at the temple?” Doctor Somerset asked as he counted out bills to pay for the assortment of charms they’d bought.

“Ah, yes,” I smiled with my best ‘Yes! I love my job ever so much!’ look. “It’s rewarding in its own way.” I silently congratulated myself on my inane answer.

“I’ve been trying to talk Aria into getting a part time job,” he shook his head sadly. “I think it helps build character. Sara had a job at Aria’s age.”

“I still have a job,” Sara pointed out.

“Yes, of course. The, uh, coffee shop,” he nodded his head, trying to separate two bills which had gotten stuck to together.

“It’s a café,” Sara sniffed haughtily.

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Doctor Somerset asked, looking at me for some reason.

“Uh,” I shrugged uselessly. I had no idea.

“A café serves quality food and other drinks beside coffee,” Sara insisted. It sounded like a matter of semantics to me but, admittedly, I was not wise in the ways of either cafes or coffee shops.

“I see,” Doctor Somerset took the bag from me. “Do you know if the temple is hiring?”

“Ah, that I’m not sure of,” I scratched my cheek with the tip of my nail. “You are welcome to talk to the head priest. He’s in the main temple.”

“What difference does it make?” Sara shrugged. “She’s not going to show up. She hardly ever shows up at home, do you think she’d bother showing up to a job? Remember when she stiffed the hospital after you got her that spot in the gift shop?”

“We’re family,” Doctor Somerset looked at me apologetically. “And we do not air our grievances like this, young lady.”

“Sorry,” Sara muttered darkly. There seemed to be some tension between her and Aria.

“We’re sorry to have made ourselves a nuisance,” Doctor Somerset apologized again. “We should go feed the monsters before they start thinking of trying human flesh!”

“I’m pretty sure the temple wouldn’t be comfortable with cannibals running around,” I smiled and waved.

“It was good seeing you again. Take care of your body, Miss Fujimura!”

“I will do that, and it was lovely seeing you and your family,” I waved at them. I watched as they disappeared from the courtyard and down the rough stone stairs leading to the parking lot with a scowl of concentration. What a weird family, I thought, shaking my head.