As the big black car prowled the streets of Tottori heading toward the road leading to my house, I glanced over at Emi who hadn’t said a word, yet. She was chewing nervously on the inside of her cheek and staring out the window as the city passed by. Something was plainly bothering her, but I’d learned early on with Emi she had to come to how she said things on her own and pushing would simply make her nervous and cause her to lose focus, so I bided my time quietly, grateful my feet were warm when going home for once.

“How long have we known each other?” Emi finally asked, finally managing to wrap her thoughts around what she wanted to say.

“Two years,” I replied.

“Really? Only two years? Weird, I could have sworn it was longer,” Emi scowled.

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not,” I chuckled. “You went to that all girls’ school down in Osaka for JC.”

“Oh! Oh, yeah! I blocked that place out!” Emi’s frown deepened. “Stupid rules! Stupid teachers! Ugh!”

“Why do you ask?” I prompted, trying to prevent Emi from going too far off topic if I could.

“You’re my best friend,” Emi snapped herself back to the topic at hand almost immediately. “I mean, we had a lot of firsts together! We got our first pubic hair together, we had our first night of debauchery, we got drunk together- “

“I didn’t drink,” I interrupted her.

“Well, you know what I mean,” Emi shrugged. “I’d do anything for you.”

“You’re worrying me,” I admitted. I’d never seen Emi like this before. There was obviously something important weighing on her. She let out another deep sigh to steel her nerves before continuing.

“I kind of lied about having something to tell you.”

“What do you mean?” I cocked my eyebrow quizzically.

“I actually have a couple things to tell you.”

“Well, you are the information broker in town,” I nodded, not feeling any better about Emi beating around the bush. Generally she simply waded right in, consequences be damned.

“I figure I’ll go with the relatively easy one first,” Emi turned to face me. “I wouldn’t want to keep anything from you. Which is why I wanted to tell you myself,” Emi began. “We had a long talk and she agreed it was for the best. So…here goes.” She sighed again. “Mio and I are dating.”

“Huh?” I asked in some confusion, wracking my brain for someone I knew named Mio. The only one I could think of was my sister, but she couldn’t mean her. “I don’t know a Mio.”

“Mio Mio,” Emi glanced at me meaningfully.

“My sister?” I asked in some confusion. Emi nodded. “Wait…you’re dating my sister?”

“Yeah,” Emi nodded. “Surprise! Heh…heh…” I stared at her for a long moment as she looked back at me with pleading eyes.

“Do you love her?” I finally asked, watching closely every move she made.

“I…have no idea,” Emi finally admitted. “I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I don’t really know what love is yet, I don’t think. But I do like her a lot. I like being with her, and I want to get to know more and more about her.”

“And she feels the same?”

“I think so, yeah. She was the one who wrote the letter I told you I got,” Emi answered, her dark brown eyes never leaving mine.

“Really?”

“Heh, yeah,” Emi shrugged. “I mean, I kind of knew already, but I was sort of waiting to see if she still felt the same rather than have it be some spur of the moment thing.”

“You said you didn’t know!” I gasped in mock surprise. I should have known Emi would at least have a clue who had written it. I was surprised the government didn’t go to her to sus out secrets.

“Wellll,” Emi grinned bashfully. “I didn’t want to tip my hand quite yet.”

“I’m happy for you both,” I grinned, giving her a hug. “Make sure you treat each other well.”

“Hey! When we get married that’ll mean you and I will be sisters!” Emi enthused, bouncing slightly on the seat.

“Hold up there, bullet train, why don’t you both stick to graduating school first,” I smiled. I knew Emi and Mio didn’t have my tendency to overthink things, but I did not envy them the path they were walking. Of course, it could all just be a case of puppy love, I thought and immediately hated myself for thinking it. My own feelings for Aria could very easily be lumped into the category as well, I supposed.

Just another “phase” as the so-called experts online put it. Another step along the ladder to becoming a responsible adult and settling down to find a husband and place where society dictates we should be. Suddenly I wanted very desperately for Emi and Mio to make it together. I wanted them to succeed and show everyone where they could shove their “puppy love” and “phases”.

“So, what else did you want to tell me?” I glanced out the window as we crossed the bridge and headed for the sea road leading to my house. I had to admit riding in a car was far superior to sitting in the ragged old bus.

“Ah, yeah, the other thing,” Emi’s smile faded, and she sighed.

“You act like it’s something awful!” My chuckle died on my lips as Emi turned her pained expression toward me.

“So, do you remember on Christmas when you said Aria was missing and you asked me to find her?” Emi’s voice was quiet and low.

“Well, technically, you volunteered to find her,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” Emi muttered. “Kind of wish I hadn’t, but you’re right.”

“What’s the issue? I found her. She was at home sick.”

“That’s the issue,” Emi’s voice had dropped nearly to a whisper as she shook her head. “She wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?” I blinked at her, my chest constricting painfully, squeezing my heart as dread gripped me. Emi grimaced and began to speak but her voice caught in her throat. She shook her head and brought out her phone.

“I-It’s probably best to show you,” Emi’s voice was a hoarse whisper as she flipped through her phone. “Here.” She passed the phone to me, and I took it with shaking hands. I stared down at the screen blankly. My heartbeat thudded painfully in my ears and my body felt like someone had dumped half of it in ice and caught the other half on fire.

“W-What am I l-looking at?” I stuttered brokenly.

“Aria and Jun,” Emi whispered.

“No,” I shook my head. ‘Hotel Valentine’ was lit in yellow, red, and green on the sign above the building they were standing in front of. I’d seen pictures of it as the other kids at school had snickered about it. It was the only love hotel in Tottori. “That’s not her.” It couldn’t be her. I zoomed in the photo further, centering it on the girl. Eventually it became so pixelated I couldn’t tell who it was, and I so desperately wanted it to stay that way.

“Kei is an uber driver at night and he dropped them off. He took this picture of them when I was looking for her because I wanted to be sure,” Emi’s voice squeaked out. I glanced at the front seat where Kei sat.

“This isn’t her,” I repeated, my brain trying desperately to cling onto the grainy photo being a case of mistaken identity.

“It’s not the first time she’s been there, Kasumin,” Emi’s eyes filled with tears. “Kei drove her there a few times, but this was the first time with Jun.”

“What are you saying?” I demanded. “She was sick! She told me!”

“She wasn’t, Kasumin,” Emi sobbed. “She’s also been there with Daishi before Jun. She’s cheating on you and has been for a long time.”

“This isn’t happening,” I muttered. This had to be a mistake. I mean, there was always something suspicious about Aria, but I’d managed to chalk it all up to my own paranoia. But this? No. It couldn’t be happening.

“She went there after she left the party that night,” Emi’s tears slid down her cheeks miserably, dripping off her nose and chin.

“She was with her cousin’s friend,” I whispered, unable to tear my eyes away from the blonde girl in the photo. Emi shook her head.

“I’m so sorry, Kasumin,” Emi sobbed. “I’m so so sorry!”

“You’re lying,” I scowled. She had to be lying. I’d been dating Aria for over three months. We were coming up on our 100-day anniversary, in fact. I knew Aria was shifty with where she was and who she was with, but she couldn’t be doing this to me, I thought.

If she was then that would mean I’d been used and toyed with for months. I’d been yanked along like a dog on a chain while she went out and fucked anything that moved. If what Emi was saying was true when she came to me the night of the party, she’d been with Daishi at a love hotel. The thought was too sickening to be true. It was too reprehensible to not be a lie.

“I’ve never lied to you, Kasumin,” Emi touched my hand pleadingly. “I wish it wasn’t true! God, I wish it wasn’t true and I wish it wasn’t me that had to tell you. But I’ve checked and double checked and checked again and it’s true.”

“Aria wouldn’t do that to me,” I countered.

“I’m so sorry,” Emi repeated through her tears. “I’m sorry I invited her over to the sleepover the first night. I’m sorry I didn’t look into it sooner. I’m just so sorry.”

“This can’t be true,” I muttered again. The whole situation had to be a case of mistaken identity. If it wasn’t there had to be another reason. I just didn’t know what reason there could be. My head was whirling and with it, like errant strands of cotton candy flung around by a spinning motor, the pieces of my life felt as if they were being ripped apart.

“I know this hurts – “Emi began quietly, sniffling.

“Do you?” I snapped. My voice rose with the anger rushing like a dark wave through my head. “Do you know it hurts? How do you know, Emi? Is my sister fucking someone behind your back like you say Aria’s doing? No! She’s not. You’ve got your fucking marriage fantasy still intact, don’t you? What do I have? I have nothing, Emi! Do you get that? Without Aria I have nothing! Without Aria everything I’ve done and put up with amounts to jack shit!”

“K-Kasumin, I – “Emi stuttered in surprise.

“Let me out,” I growled.

“What do – “Emi began again.

“Let me out of the fucking car, Emi!” I nearly shouted at her. Emi signaled Kei and the big black car pulled off to a stop along the desolate dark coast road.

“Please don’t do this!” Emi called as I threw open the door and stepped into the cold night. I hurried away from the car as quickly as I could in the blackness, the sound of the pounding ocean waves quickly drowning out Emi’s sobbing.

I staggered through the dunes lining the beach, my breath ragged as adrenaline coursed through me. Several times I nearly fell in the wet, loose sand but my anger and hurt drove me forward. I reached the beach when my ankle turned on a stone hidden in the dark and I fell to my knees.

My body was shaky and tense like a guitar string tuned to the breaking point. The cold and bitter wind blew in off the ocean, but I hardly noticed. I tried to get back to my feet, but my knees wouldn’t hold me, and I pitched forward onto my hands.

Was there any truth to anything Aria had ever said to me? Had she ever told me the truth? Why had she even gone to the trouble of getting into a relationship with me in the first place? Why even bother with someone like me if she was going to do those things?

‘Do you feel how wet I am, K-chan?’ Her words echoed back to me. She had been with Daishi that night. She had fucked Daishi and then come to me. My stomach turned. Not just Daishi, she’d fucked Jun. Jun, of all people! The person who for years had tormented me and for the past month had made my life a living hell. She’d fucked him. How many times? Were the dates I was paying for dates with Aria? Was I paying my own brother to date my girlfriend? The irony was somehow poetic to me. God, I thought. I was such a fucking fool.

As I huddled on my hands and knees in the wet sand, the icy wind and sea spray like pinpricks on my skin, my stomach finally gave up the ghost.